Gorgeous. Part 11

Clearly sensing the tension despite his boyness, Tyler asked us, "You two know each other? Jade Demarchelier, Allison Avery?"

"We used to," Jade answered.

"Why aren't you in Sag Harbor?" I asked, remembering that Serena's older sister was best friends with Madeleine freaking Smith. Ugh.

"We came back early because my grandmother got sick," Jade answered so coldly icicles formed around the words. "I texted you."

"You did?"

"Yes, twice, and called you. I left three messages on your voice mail. I was really upset about my grandmother and needed you."

I grabbed my phone. As soon as it was in my hand, the You have voice mail You have voice mail chimes went off. I looked: three new voice mails, two text messages. chimes went off. I looked: three new voice mails, two text messages.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I never heard-"

"I figured maybe your parents took your phone away," she practically growled. "Aren't you grounded?"

"Oh. Yes," I spluttered.

"So you snuck out?"

"Kind of," I said.

Jade shook her head slowly.

My phone played a short series of high-pitched bird screeches and went dead in my hand. Not feeling up to explaining it, I asked Jade, "How's your grandmother?"

"Better, thank you for asking," she said formally. My cheeks felt frostbitten as I slipped my dead phone back into my clutch. "You're looking...different," Jade added, moving her gaze to my other hand, the one holding the beer cup.

"I am different," I lied.

"So I see," Jade agreed, and then, clearly done with me, flicked her flirty eyes up at Tyler and blinked them twice. "Anyway, Tyler, what were-"

"I think I need some air," I said, turning away from them. No way was she dismissing me, not again, not in front of Tyler Moss, not with me wearing my mask of invincibility. I was a jerk. Fine. I never thought anything better of myself than that. I didn't need her shoving my face in it, was all.

I was maybe two steps away, stretching my fingers to dispel their sudden numbness, when I heard Tyler, behind me, say, "I'll go with you."

I didn't trust myself to turn around, no matter how much I wanted to see the look on Jade's face. I could feel him following me through and then out of the house.

We walked side by side up Madeleine Smith's walk as I poured out my stinky untouched beer in her bushes. I tossed my cup in her trash can and we took a left onto the sidewalk, still without a word. It was only when we rounded the corner that I said, "Now she'll hate me more than ever."

"Jade? Why?" Tyler asked.

"We're best friends."

"But you just said-"

"I just keep disappointing her. Because I am a screwup and she is perfect. Are you going out with her?"

"No," he said. "I'm not going out with anybody. How about you?"

"No," I said. After that we didn't talk again for a while.

"You leave places abruptly," he observed, finally.

I shrugged. "I have bad manners."

"Manners are overrated."

"Yours are good."

"You don't know me very well," he said, and put his arm around me. Next thing I knew he was kissing me.

We had stopped just in the rim of light from a street lamp, so our faces were half-bright, half-shadowed. I didn't wrap my arms around him, but I didn't pull away either, until I felt him start to.

My first kiss.

I found it a bit hard to breathe during it. It was equally hard to breathe after.

"You're right," I managed. "That was pretty rude."

His cheeks burned red instantly, and he blinked hard twice. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm...I'm sorry."

"No. I was just making a...That's not...Don't be," I said. "Except for the...I don't think red is your color, lipstick-wise."

His fingers flew up to his lips and rubbed until all traces of the kiss were obliterated. "Yeah, well..." he started.

I turned away. He wasn't going to reject me, either. No way, not tonight, and not right after being the first boy to ever kiss me. "I should get back," I said, and started walking back toward the party.

He caught up by the corner. "You're pretty fast," he said.

"No," I countered. "Just quick."

"Can I call you?" he asked, producing his cell phone out of his pocket and handing it to me.

"My phone is dead," I said, keying in my number. "Either that or possessed by the devil."

"Right," he answered, taking the phone back and pressing one b.u.t.ton. "Either that or you just gave me a fake number. Let's see."

I felt my phone vibrate in my clutch, so I dug it out and answered, turning my back to him. "h.e.l.lo?"

His back pressed up against mine as he said, "I guess you didn't lie."

"I never lie," I lied.

"Me neither," he said. Lied? How to know?

We leaned against each other and didn't say anything for a couple of breaths. Eventually I thought, Somebody has to say something Somebody has to say something, so I asked brilliantly, "How's it going?"

"Hard to say," he said. "There's this girl...I just kissed her?"

"Yeah?" I said, feeling the giggles rise in my throat.

"And I can't tell if it was the right thing to do or the stupidest thing ever."

"Did she kiss you back?" I asked.

"Um," he said. "I think so."

"Do you want to kiss her again?"

He breathed out, or maybe laughed one ha ha, and whispered, "Yes."

"Why?"

"Why?" His back pulled away from mine. I cursed silently, a nice variety of curses and self-criticisms, in the two seconds it took him to go on. "Um, I don't know. Because it was...nice? And she's smart, independent, funny..."

"...-looking?"

"No," he said immediately. "She's gorgeous. I just don't know...if..."

And then, nothing. I turned around to see what he was doing when I couldn't stand waiting anymore, and he was standing there with questioning eyes, his phone down at his side. I lowered mine, too, took two steps toward him, and got my second-ever kiss.

14.

WHEN T TY AND I I WALKED WALKED back into the party holding hands, everybody turned to look at us. His hand was kind of sweaty, which sounds gross but it wasn't. The guy who had sat on my leg accidentally a few days earlier yelled, "Ty! Where were you, man?" back into the party holding hands, everybody turned to look at us. His hand was kind of sweaty, which sounds gross but it wasn't. The guy who had sat on my leg accidentally a few days earlier yelled, "Ty! Where were you, man?"

"Out," Ty said.

The guy looked at me and, grinning, said, "Oh. Hi. I'm Emmett."

"Allison," I said.

A light dawned behind his cute, scrubbed-looking face. "The governor!"

"Right," I said. Ty squeezed my hand.

Even after Roxie came over to us and grinned at me, Ty and I kept holding hands. Even after Jade huffed past us, followed by Serena, with their eyes not quite averted, we didn't let go. Not until Roxie looked at her watch and gasped that her housekeeper would be waiting at the corner, then chugged her beer and tossed the cup in the trash can, did we let go.

"I'll, uh, call you," Ty said.

"Good," I answered, and followed Roxie out into the cool night.

He didn't call.

I kept my phone in my hand all night, and must have checked it a hundred times, a thousand.

When it rang at 11 a.m. my heart almost flew out through my mouth, but it was just my mother asking where I was. I told her I was still at Roxie's and I would be home soon and no, I didn't have much homework. It was weird to have her want so many details.

My phone was silent from then until after dinner. Poor Phoebe had gotten roped into going fis.h.i.+ng with Dad. She had been kind of abandoned by me and Quinn all weekend, I realized, as I watched her pus.h.i.+ng her food around the plate with her fork, looking bereft, alone, and seasick no matter how much we complimented her on the deliciousness of the bluefish. She had always seemed so happy and cute before; it was kind of heartbreaking to see her in such a weird funk. It made me want to do anything to cheer her up. So what if boys she didn't even like and had never kissed called her all the time and the one boy I had ever really liked or kissed was totally blowing me off?

Hmm. I had lost track of why I was trying to make myself be sweet to Phoebe. As I cleared my plate, my phone rang.

I vowed that if it was Tyler, I'd be nice to Phoebe for the rest of my life. Or at least the rest of the week.

I closed my eyes and took a breath before I looked and saw it was Roxie. Instead of saying h.e.l.lo, I groaned.

"Well," she said. "That answers my first question."

"How am I going to deal with school tomorrow?" I moaned, heading upstairs.

"He didn't say he'd call today today," Roxie said. "He might have meant during the week. He looked really happy, standing there holding your hand."

"Really?"

"I swear it," she said. "You are the cutest couple."

"You are the best friend," I said, and my stomach sank.

"Do you think I should like Emmett?"

"Do you?" I asked, surprised. Emmett was sweet, but not especially gorgeous. When I'd liked him, I was embarra.s.sed about it.

"Kind of," Roxie whispered.

"Yes!" I shouted, surprising us both. Quieter, I added, "But only if Ty still likes me."

"It's a deal," Roxie said.

"I was just kidding. You should so like him, if you like him."

"Hey," Roxie said. "I am a big believer in solidarity."

"Ungh," I managed.

Not noticing my tumble into despair, Roxie went on. "Anyway, Ty is going to be head over heels for you tomorrow, so it's not much of a sacrifice on my part. Do you know that this is the first weekend since we moved here that hasn't completely sucked for me? And right when I got rejected from my favorite magazine. Go figure."

"Yeah," I said sinking further down in the devil's seat, feeling bad about myself in every conceivable way.