The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 25

FISH should be eaten with a fork held in the right hand and a piece of bread held in the left hand.

The bones should be removed from the mouth with the aid of a fork or with the fingers. If by the latter, great delicacy should be used.

FLOWER GIRL. The flower girls--one or two, as may be the case--follow the maid of honor up the isle and strew flowers in the path of the bride, who follows after.

In the procession down the isle they should follow the bride.

Flower girls and pages are not used now as much as formerly.

FLOWERS. Between friends, flowers may be sent as an expression of sympathy in either joy or sorrow.

BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wis.h.i.+ng to send congratulations after a birth, cards should be left in person or sent by a messenger. Cut flowers may be sent with the card.

BRIDE. If she wishes, a bride may present flowers to her bridesmaids, and also to the best man and ushers.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a good opportunity for the guests who desire to present flowers to the mother. This is not obligatory, however, and must remain a matter of personal taste.

CONDOLENCE CALLS. When making a condolence call upon a very intimate friend, cut flowers may be left in person or sent, together with a card, unless request has been made to send none.

DEBUTANTE. Friends should send flowers to a debutante at a formal tea given in her honor.

ENGAGEMENT. Flowers should accompany the greetings from the parents of the man to the parents of the woman.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS--FLOWERS.

GROOM. He pays for the bridal bouquet carried by the bride at the wedding ceremony, and, if he wishes, for the bouquets carried by the bridesmaids.

MEN. If well acquainted with a debutante's family, a man may send her flowers at the time of her debut.

After a slightly intimate acquaintance, a man can present flowers to a young unmarried woman as a token of sympathy either of joy or sorrow.

It is not usual for a man to send flowers to a woman who is a mere acquaintance.

b.a.l.l.s. It is permissible for a man, if he wishes, to send flowers to a woman he is to escort to a ball.

THEATRE OR OPERA. It is permissible, but not necessary, for a man to send flowers to the woman he is to take to the theatre or to the opera.

WEDDING TRIP. The best man should arrange beforehand all the details of the trip--such as the tickets, parlor-car, flowers, baggage, etc.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS--FLOWERS.

FORK AND KNIFE. See KNIFE AND FORK.

FORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

FORMAL DANCES. See DANCES (FORMAL).

FRUIT. All raw fruit, except melons, berries, and grapefruit, are eaten with the fingers.

Canned fruits are eaten with a spoon.

FULL DRESS. This phrase is now no longer in good usage, and instead should be used the term: "Evening Dress," which SEE.

FUNERALS. A member of the family, or very near relative, should take charge of the ceremony and direct the undertaker. A large funeral should be avoided, and the ceremony confined to the immediate family and nearest relatives, and, if possible, the service should be at the church.

All the details of the funeral should be carefully considered and carried out, with the ceremony started at the hour set, and with all appearance of confusion avoided.

It is not now customary to watch by the dead at night.

Funerals should be private, and only those intimately interested should be invited.

CARRIAGES. A carriage should always be provided to call for the clergyman and to take him from the church or cemetery back to his house. Carriages should also be provided to take the friends, mourners, and pall-bearers from the house to the church, and then to the cemetery and return. These are provided by the family.

DRESS. See FUNERALS--MEN.

EXPENSES. Though it is not customary for the clergyman in Protestant churches to expect or to receive fees for conducting funerals, yet it is in perfectly good taste to offer him a fee. In the Roman Catholic Church the rate of fees for funerals is fixed. There are, besides, fees for the s.e.xton, the organist, and the singers.

FLOWERS. The family, in publis.h.i.+ng notice of funeral, may add: "Kindly omit flowers."

However, in the absence of such a notice, at the public funerals of prominent persons elaborate designs may be sent. But at a private funeral, if flowers are sent, they should be choice and delicate.

The custom is growing of having fewer flowers, and it is no longer in good taste to have a carriage in the procession carrying flowers and set pieces. A good use of the large set pieces is to send them afterward to the hospitals.

If any flowers are laid upon the grave they should be those given by the nearest relatives.

INVITATIONS. A church funeral can be attended by any one, friend or acquaintance, and no slight should be felt at the non-receipt of an invitation. Those attending should take especial pains to be in the church before the funeral procession arrives, and that they do nothing to distract from the solemnity of the occasion.

Notice of death and date of funeral may be printed on heavy bordered cards, or on mourning paper, and sent to friends.

Sometimes a notice is written and sent to most intimate friends.

MEN--DRESS. A man should wear either a black frock coat or a black cutaway, with the necktie, gloves, and other parts of the dress as subdued as possible. Under no conditions should light ties or light-colored linen be worn.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS.

PRECEDENCE. At a church funeral the parents, arm in arm, follow the body of their child, and the children come next in the order of their age.