The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 32

INTRODUCTION, LETTERS OF. The introduction of one person to another by letter is as follows: The party introducing writes the name of the party he introduces upon his own card, and above his name the words: Introducing Mr. Wilson (his friend's name). It is then placed in an envelope and addressed to the person to whom the introduction is to be made. On the lower left-hand corner of the envelope, Introducing Mr. Wilson, is written, and given to the bearer unsealed.

The party to whom a letter of introduction is given should send it by mail to the party they desire to be introduced to, enclosing their own card with address, and then await invitation to call.

This is preferable to calling in person, as it may not be agreeable or desirable for the party to open and begin such an acquaintance.

In business introduction, such formality may be set aside.

If a letter of introduction is personally delivered, the party presenting it should also enclose card.

If the party called upon is not at home, the letter or card should not be left, but sent by mail or messenger.

The one giving another a letter of introduction may write to the friend explaining why it is done, who and what the party is.

If a man sends a letter of introduction to a woman, she should acknowledge it, and, if she wishes, invite him to call.

PARTY RECEIVING--WOMEN. The party receiving cards of introduction should call in person upon woman introduced; if unable to do so, a letter should be sent, stating reasons of inability to be present. A member of the family may make the call instead. It should be done within three days.

If not agreeable to receive party for any reason, a card may be sent or left. No personal visit need be made.

INVALID'S CALLS. A woman unable to call from sickness may have her calls made for her by her sister, or daughter, or some female relative.

INVITATIONS. Care should be exercised in inviting new acquaintances to breakfast, luncheon, or dinner, unless there are some particular reasons why they will be especially agreeable to those invited.

All invitations should be sent by mail.

Verbal invitations should be avoided as much as possible, and if a verbal one is given, it should be followed immediately by one in writing.

ACCEPTING OR DECLINING. Invitations to all entertainments, when answers are expected, should be acknowledged by a written letter of acceptance or regret. The answer should be sent to the person or committee issuing the invitation.

Invitations to dinners, musicales, weddings, and breakfasts should be answered at once, and those to b.a.l.l.s, dances, and receptions within one week.

Invitations to ordinary "At Homes," teas, or weddings, which do not include invitations to the wedding breakfast or reception, need no acknowledgment.

The invitations sent to a family--as, mother, or daughter, or several daughters-- may be answered by one person for all. But invitations sent to the men of the family should be answered by each man.

When it is found necessary to decline after accepting an invitation, a card should be sent the evening of the entertainment with an explanatory letter the day following.

b.a.l.l.s. Invitations to b.a.l.l.s or a.s.semblies should be answered immediately, and if declined the ticket should be returned.

DANCING. While a woman may accept or decline any invitation to dance, it is considered a discourteous act to refuse one man and to accept thereafter from another an invitation to the same dance.

WEDDINGS. Such invitations should be answered at once, except when the invitation does not include an invitation to the wedding reception or breakfast, in which case no answer is needed.

ADDRESSING. When invitations are sent to a husband and wife and daughter, only one envelope is needed, the daughter's name appearing under her parents. Separate envelopes should be addressed to two daughters--as, Misses Wilson.

Separate envelopes should be addressed to each son.

MEN. If an invitation is sent to a man, he should answer it himself; but if sent to a man and wife, the latter may answer for both.

TO CALL WITH CHAPERONE'S PERMISSION. If permission is asked, and if agreeable, a chaperone should invite a man to call upon her and her protege.

Every effort should be made to call at the specified time.

TO CALL ON WOMEN. If a woman invites a man to call without specifying the time, it is equivalent to no invitation at all.

TO CALL ON WOMEN THROUGH LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. If a man having a letter of introduction sends the same by mail to a woman, it should be acknowledged by a written invitation to call. If the person receiving the letter does not care to receive the party, a card is sent which ends the matter.

R. S. V. P. The use of these letters--standing for "Repondez, s'il vous plait" (Answer, if you please)--is decreasing. All invitations bearing these letters should be answered at once.

These may be used on invitations to ceremonious receptions, breakfasts, luncheons, dinners, and to meet a prominent person.

WIFE. When a husband and wife are invited to a dinner, and the former does not accept, the wife should also decline and give her reasons. The hostess can then invite the wife only, who may accept.

WOMEN. A young woman receiving an invitation to a man's supper, tea, or dinner, may accept, if she has the consent of her mother or chaperone, and is a.s.sured that a chaperone will be present.

WOMEN--THEATRE. Women receiving an invitation from a man for the theatre should have the consent of mother or chaperone, and when they accept, may, with propriety, request their escort not to provide a carriage unless full dress on their part is requested.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS--INVITATIONS.

AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL)--INVITATIONS.

AT HOMES.

See AT HOMES--INVITATIONS.

BACHELORS' DINNERS.

See BACHELORS' DINNERS--INVITATIONS.

BACHELORS' TEAS.

See BACHELORS' TEAS--INVITATIONS.

b.a.l.l.s.

See b.a.l.l.s--INVITATIONS.

BREAKFASTS.

See BREAKFASTS--INVITATIONS.

BRIDE.

See BRIDE--INVITATIONS.

CHRISTENINGS.

See CHRISTENINGS--INVITATIONS.

COTILLIONS.