The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 41

REPORTERS AT WEDDINGS. If such is the wish of the family of the bride, the best man attends to the reporters, and furnishes them with the names of groom, bride, relatives, friends, description of gowns, and other suitable details.

RESIDENCE, CHANGE OF--WOMEN. After a change of residence, the cards of the entire family should be sent out as soon as possible.

RESTAURANTS. If at a table, and a woman bows, the man should rise and bow in return. If a man is one of a party sitting at a table, and a woman with her escort stops to pa.s.s greetings, he should rise and stand until they depart.

One man introduced to another who is surrounded by male friends should rise to acknowledge the honor of the introduction.

When a man is with a woman he should exercise great care in recognizing male acquaintances who may be in doubtful company.

He should avoid being in such company himself when in such places.

Smoking in restaurants is a general custom.

The rules of the house govern this.

All fees to the waiters should be paid by the one who pays the bills. If a woman is paying her own bill when with a man, it is in order for her to fee the waiter.

RIBBONS AT CHURCH WEDDINGS. One way of distinguis.h.i.+ng the pews reserved for the family, relatives, and dearest friends of both families is the placing of white ribbons at the dividing pews. Before the arrival of the bride, the ushers, in pairs, at the same time, untie these ribbons, and stretch them along the outside of these pews, and thus enclose the guests and bar further intrusion.

If these ribbons are used, it is a good plan to enclose in the wedding invitation a card giving number of pew.

The advantage of not using ribbons is the avoidance of any possible discrimination.

RICE AT WEDDINGS. The throwing of rice is to be discouraged; but if it is to be done, the maid of honor should prepare packages of rice and hand them to the guests, who throw it after the bridal couple as they leave the house for their wedding trip.

RIDING.

MEN. When riding with a woman, a man should always a.s.sist her both to mount and to alight, even if a groom is present.

It is customary for the woman to set the pace, and for the man, who always rides on her right, to accommodate himself to her-- trotting, galloping, or walking his horse as she may do.

He should always be ready to open all gates for her, and to do all things that will make the riding pleasant for her. If at a fox-hunt, this would mean that he must be ready to sacrifice much of his personal pleasure that she may enjoy herself.

DRESS. There is a perfectly well-accepted dress for men who ride in the park, though it is open to elderly men to wear clothes less p.r.o.nounced.

The correct dress is full riding-breeches, close-fitting at the knee, leggings, a high-b.u.t.toned waistcoat, and a coat with the conventional short cutaway tails. The hat is an alpine or a derby, and the tie the regulation stock. These, with riding-gloves and a riding-crop, const.i.tute the regular riding-dress for a young man.

A man should always consult his tailor, that the dress in all its details may be strictly up to date.

WOMEN--DRESS. There is a well-prescribed riding-dress for women as for men. The habit of dark material, with skirt falling just over the feet when in the saddle, and the close-fitting waist, with long or short tails, together with the white collar and black or white tie, const.i.tute the regulation dress.

The derby hat is smaller than formerly.

Gloves of a dark color and a crop with a bone handle are always in place. Any jewelry, save that which is absolutely necessary, should be shunned.

In summer it is permissible to modify this costume.

As in the case of a man, a woman should consult a tailor of good practical experience, that her costume may be in the correct style.

RING, ENGAGEMENT. See ENGAGEMENT RING.

RING, WEDDING. See WEDDING RING.

RISING FROM THE TABLE. The signal to leave the table is always given by the women, and the men rise to let the women pa.s.s. At a formal dinner the signal is given by the hostess.

SALT is best taken up with the tip of the knife.

SALTED NUTS are eaten with the fingers.

SEAT OF HONOR is at the right of the host.

SECOND HELPING. At formal dinner parties, luncheons, and breakfasts, second helpings are never offered by the host or hostess, and should not be asked for by the guests. This is only permissible at a small dinner party or at the daily family meal.

Of course, this does not apply to a second gla.s.s of water, for which the guest asks, or for wine. It is the duty of the waiter to see that the guest is constantly supplied.

SECOND MARRIAGES. See WIDOWS--WEDDINGS.

SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE. See AGRICULTURE, SECRETARY OF.

SECRETARY OF COMMERCE. See COMMERCE, SECRETARY OF.