The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 5

She would naturally do so when the request is for a near relative, or the betrothed of the one making the request.

A man should never ask for an invitation to a ball for another person, except for his fiancee or a near relative.

A woman may ask for an invitation for her fiance, a brother, or a male friend of long standing, or for a visiting friend. She should take care that she does not ask it for some one known to the hostess and whom the latter does not desire to invite. No offense should be felt at a refusal save, possibly, in the case of a brother, sister, or fiance.

INVITATIONS GIVEN BY A NEWCOMER. When a newcomer in a neighborhood desires to give a ball but has no visiting list, it is allowable for her to borrow the visiting list of some friend. The friend, however, arranges that in each envelope is placed a calling-card of her own, so that the invited ones may know that she is acting as sponsor for the newcomer.

INVITATIONS ANSWERED. Every invitation should be answered as soon as possible, and in the third person if the invitation was in the third person. The answer should be sent to the party requesting the pleasure, even if many names are on the invitation.

When a subscriber to a subscription ball invites a friend who is a non-subscriber, she encloses her card in the envelope, and the invited friend sends the answer to the subscriber sending the invitation.

INTRODUCTIONS. When a man is introduced to a woman at a ball, he should ask her for a dance.

MEN AT. Courtesy toward his hostess and consideration for his friends demands that a man who can dance should do so.

To accept an invitation to a ball and then refuse to dance shows that a man is lacking in good breeding.

A man finding few friends at a ball should ask some friend, or the hostess, to introduce him to some women whom he can invite to dance.

It is an act of discourtesy for a man not to request a dance of a woman to whom he has been introduced.

A man escorting a woman to a ball should agree where to meet her after they have each left their wraps at the dressing-rooms. It may be at the foot of the stairway or near the ball-room door.

It is now no longer customary for the man and woman to enter arm in arm, but for the woman to precede the man, and together they greet the hostess. It is for the hostess to merely bow or to shake hands, and the guests follow her lead.

A man should see that his companion's chaperone is comfortably seated, and then ask his companion for a couple of dances, and, with her permission, introduce other young men, who should ask her to dance.

Such permission is not usually asked if the man is her fiance, a near relative, or an old friend.

It is strictly the woman's prerogative to decide to retire, and no man should urge or hint to a woman to retire earlier than she wishes.

MEN--CARRIAGE. A man asking a woman to accompany him to a ball should call in a carriage for her and her chaperone.

MEN--DRESS. Men wear full evening dress in summer or winter, city and town.

Gloves of white dressed kid should be worn at all b.a.l.l.s.

NEWCOMERS. See b.a.l.l.s-INVITATIONS GIVEN BY NEWCOMERS.

PATRONESSES. See PUBLIC b.a.l.l.s--PATRONESSES.

TIPPING SERVANTS. Only at public b.a.l.l.s is it customary to give a tip to the men and women in charge of the cloak-room.

SUPPER. Usually a buffet supper, being more easily handled and arranged for. Supper at tables requires many servants, much preparation, and great care.

WOMEN AT. A mother should attend b.a.l.l.s with her daughters, going and returning with them, and if she is not invited, they should decline the invitation. The father can act as escort if need be.

After greeting the hostess and guests, the guests pay their respects to the head of the house if he is present.

Taking leave of the hostess is unnecessary.

It is no longer customary for a couple to enter arm in arm, but for the woman to precede the man. A mother, elder sister, or married woman takes the precedence over a daughter, younger sister, or unmarried woman.

If not at once asked to dance, a young woman should take a seat by her chaperone.

It is bad taste to refuse a dance with one man and then to dance that same dance with another.

Both the hostess and the women wear their most elaborate costume for such an entertainment- decollete, short-sleeved, and a long train.

For a less elaborate affair the costume may be plainer.

b.a.l.l.s, a.s.sEMBLY. See a.s.sEMBLY b.a.l.l.s.

b.a.l.l.s, COSTUME. See COSTUME b.a.l.l.s.

b.a.l.l.s, DEBUT. See DEBUT b.a.l.l.s.

b.a.l.l.s, PUBLIC. See PUBLIC b.a.l.l.s.

b.a.l.l.s, SUBSCRIPTION. See SUBSCRIPTION b.a.l.l.s.

BANANAS. The skin should be cut off with a knife, peeling from the top down, while holding in the hand. Small pieces should be cut or broken off, and taken in the fingers, or they may be cut up and eaten with a fork.

BARON-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: My Lord, and ends: I have the honor to be your Lords.h.i.+p's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable the Baron Wilson.

A social letter begins: Dear Lord Wilson, and ends: Believe me, my dear Lord Wilson, very sincerely yours.

The address is: To the Lord Wilson.

DAUGHTER OF. See DAUGHTER OF BARON.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF. See WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF BARON.