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I want to hit him.
Gwyn just laughs. "We can't share our secrets with every handsome boy who wanders up the trail." She puts a hand on his arm, claiming him. "But for you I might make an exception."
Austin lowers his eyes so his lashes nearly brush his cheek. "Is that so?"
I look out at the trees, doing my best to curb the tide of envy that rises in my chest. I have no claim on Austin here. I'm not even sure I have any claim on him in the present.
Gwyn glares at me over her shoulder. "She dresses to provoke. Perhaps you should see how far she means to push it."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I stare down at my jeans and bulky sweater. I am dressed for comfort, not seduction.
Gwyn's smile is smug. "The daughters of Danu are indebted to you. I am sure the G.o.ds will reward you." She winks at Austin and walks away.
Austin doesn't say anything until Gwyn disappears down the trail. "What was that about?"
"She knows about me?"
"She heard us talking. Don't worry about her. She's just a gossip. And it is not every day you meet a girl from the future who accuses you of murder."
"Did she tell you she thinks that killing her mother is not necessarily a bad idea?"
"No. Is that what she told you?"
"That girl has some serious issues." I can't believe she could seriously think about killing her own mother.
"I'm sure she was just trying to get your dander up. She's less than pleased that my attention has been diverted."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Austin moves a step closer, so close I can feel his body heat. "It means that since you appeared, I have been preoccupied."
"With what?" The words are strangled in my throat.
Austin lifts a hand to my cheek. "With a beautiful la.s.s from another time who is not meant for me."
"Remember that last part when you see me a few centuries from now."
The gold flecks in Austin's eyes radiate light. "Do you know me, then? In the future?"
I nod. His hand slides to my throat, gently. His thumb strokes the sensitive spot where my pulse beats. His lips curve into a crooked smile. "Ah. But do you know me?" His voice is laced with innuendo.
My pulse races against his thumb. "I don't think I'm supposed to tell you the future."
He leans closer so that if I stretched onto my toes our lips would touch. "I would very much like to know you now."
I freeze. On the one hand this is Austin. It's not like we've never kissed. On the other hand, we are strangers to each other in this place. I wish I knew the protocol for meeting the guy you are kind of seeing a thousand years in the past. Is this cheating?
What about the girl in the underworld? I step back.
He brings his hand to his side. "Forgive me."
"It's okay." I take another step away. "What are you doing here? At the ruin?"
"Exercising my horse."
"Oh." I don't know what I expected him to say. That he was looking for me? It shouldn't matter.
He raises an eyebrow, mocking me. Am I that obvious? Or does he just expect girls to throw themselves at his feet and wors.h.i.+p.
I turn toward the little wall. "I shouldn't be here."
Austin steps up behind me. "Yet you are." His breath whispers along my neck.
I spin to face him. "I think I'm supposed to stop you from killing Danu."
He holds up his hands in mock surrender. "You have succeeded then. I have no intention of killing anyone."
It can't be that easy, can it? And what does that mean for the future? "Just like that?"
"Just so." His eyes drop to my mouth.
I feel dizzy. Mist starts to curl around my feet. "I think I need to go."
"Perhaps you can give me just a little hope for the future?"
I reach for his hand, lacing our fingers together. "I know you," I say, and I wonder if it's true.
Austin blushes, and my heart melts with the blue sky as it turns to mist.
THIRTY-TWO.
"Just in time to practice," Sherri says from behind me. I gather Panda's reins and turn around to see Sherri and Liam riding up the trail on horseback. "Practice for what?"
Sherri swings off a large bay. "Liam wanted to run through some drills." She holds out her palm. A ball of blue fire dances along her fingers.
Great. Just what we need, Sherri burning down another hundred homes. "Easy on the fire."
Sherri laughs and hurls the fireball at a bush. It ignites and goes out just as quickly. "Everything here is soaking wet. It's perfectly safe. Come on. Try it. It's fun."
I put my foot in the stirrup and swing onto Panda's back. "Maybe next time."
Liam watches me from atop a dapple gray mare. "You need to be prepared to fight. You were useless yesterday."
I clutch the reins, trying to hide my shaking fingers. "I'll be ready when the time comes."
And you'll be the first one in my sights.
I ride past them, urging Panda into a trot. It's not until we get back to the barn that I let myself breathe.
I find Austin in the blue room. He looks up from a soccer game on the flat screen.
He removes a pair of black-rimmed gla.s.ses and takes in my riding clothes, smiling. "Are you ready to talk?"
"I just saw you again. A thousand years ago."
"And?" He looks expectant.
"And what?"
"I hope I was a gentleman."
"You remember it. All of it. You knew exactly who I was when we met at Blake's party. How come you never told me before?"
"This from the girl who told me absolutely nothing about what was going to happen in the future."
"You said you didn't think we could change anything."
"We can't."
I let out a growl of frustration. "What's the point of any of this then? So many people die."
"Everyone dies, Brianna. You want to know the meaning of it? It is love and heartache, art and science, dreams and sacrifice, all rolled up into one messy, tangled package." He walks over to me. "Take it from someone who was alive for thousands of years, yet never lived. Death is what makes life matter. Perhaps life can only be appreciated because it ends."
"You still don't know what to do with those human emotions, do you?"
He laughs. "Too much?"
"A little." It's all too much. Seeing Austin all those years ago. Before he became a killer. Before he made me one. "Tell me what happened."
He glances up at the screen. "Manchester tied it up just before the half."
"With Danu."
"Ah."
I wait, but Austin doesn't say anything. "Why won't you tell me?"
"You already know how it ends."
"That's not the same thing and you know it. You told me you weren't going to kill her and I believed you. Did I stop you? Is everything different now?"
Austin shakes his head. "Everything is as it should be."
"But I went back. I could change it."
"You tried."
"You remember? What did I try? Maybe there's still time for me to change it. To try something else."
Austin gets up and walks over to me. "Knowing doesn't help Brianna. It is just another burden to carry. No one wants to know how or when things end. It changes nothing and steals something even more precious. Hope."
"What's the point of my being there then?"
"Must you always have an answer?"
"Quantum theory allows for someone to change the past. For there to be paradoxes in alternate universes. I could change it."
"The past has already happened. Your part in it has been written, whether you've experienced it yet or not. Your energies might be better served planning for the future."
"You already know what happened."
He smiles. "I was there, remember?"
"Like it was this afternoon." I close my eyes, remembering. "You wanted to kiss me."
"I always want to kiss you."
"Not now." I open my eyes and Austin stands in front of me. "A thousand years ago."
"And did we kiss?"
I shake my head. "It was weird. It was you, but not you."
Austin leans toward me. "It was most definitely me."
"So you wouldn't be upset, if I kissed you, back then?"
"Did you want to?"
"Yes."
He takes my wrist and pulls me the rest of the way to him, until our chests are touching. "When I found you with Gwyn?"
"You remember the day?"
"G.o.d, you looked just as you do now, beautiful and wild." He raises his hand to my cheek. "I touched you here." He lets his hand slide down to my neck. "And here." Austin lowers his face until his lips nearly touch mine. "I wanted you nearly as much as I want you right now." "Nearly?"
"Very, very nearly." His breath mixes with mine, warm apples and spice. "Promise me something."
"What?" My stomach tightens into a ball of string.
"Next time, let me kiss you. Please."
"Are you sure?"
"G.o.d, yes." He smiles and steps away. "If you must know, your coming back did have a purpose." He looks down at the floor and rubs his eyes. When he looks up, there are traces of tears at the corners of them. "Those moments at the ruin?"
"Yes?"