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In my experiences with other bis.e.xual men, those lines were never drawn. Most of the men I've been with have just had very open s.e.xual att.i.tudes. They just did what felt good without a.s.signing a gender or stereotype to it."
Holden reached for his wine, downing half the gla.s.s, a sure giveaway to Garret that he was nervous. "You've been f.u.c.ked by men before." The words were a statement. Garret had already let Holden know that he wanted to be f.u.c.ked.
"Yes, I have had a.n.a.l s.e.x with men, both giving and receiving. It's a very intense experience on either end," he replied calmly, his eyes never leaving Holden's. "I have also had oral s.e.x with men, both giving and receiving. I've f.u.c.ked a lot of women too, in their p.u.s.s.ies, in their a.s.ses and in their mouths. I'm a hundred and twenty years old, Holden. I've had a lot of s.e.x in my life."
"I hear a but in there," Holden said, finis.h.i.+ng his gla.s.s of wine.
Garret nodded. "Because there is one. I may have had a lot of s.e.x in my life with both genders, and a number of species, but that doesn't mean I know what it's going to be like with you. Every person is unique, which makes every s.e.xual experience unique. And this isn't exactly about s.e.x. This is mating, Holden."
He leaned forward, his dinner forgotten, everything falling by the wayside in his need to explain how he felt to his mate. "I want to mate you, Holden. I want to touch you and be touched by you. I want to suck you and have you suck me. I want you to f.u.c.k me and, some day, I hope to be able to f.u.c.k you too. I know this is a lot to take in, but it's the truth. Already, I feel the mating bonds pulling at me, but more than that, when I see you working with your brother, when I smell your crisp lime scent, when I hear your laugh, I can tell that I am falling in love with you."
Holden blinked and sat back in his chair, his expression stunned. Irritated, Garret took a swallow of wine and tried to get a grip on his raging emotions. "I know it's quick, but I suppose that's because of the mating bonds. Still, I cannot deny what I feel. I'm beginning to love you and if this somehow doesn't work out and you walk away, it won't stop me from continuing to love you because Holden, I've never felt like this before and I don't think I ever will again."
Garret knew his voice shook with emotion. h.e.l.l, his whole body shook with the force of his confession. The feelings inside him were new and growing, but he was positive he'd fallen in love with Holden. The man was so beautiful, inside and out, that Garret couldn't help but love him.
Even if Holden hadn't been his mate, Garret had the sense that he would have fallen for him.
His eyes widened then as Holden pushed away from the table and stood up. Heart pounding with fear, he looked up into those golden eyes and let Holden see everything he felt in his heart.
He was Holden's. What the man chose to do with him now was anyone's guess.
Chapter Five
Holden's emotions were in turmoil. He and Garret had been at the resort for more than twenty four hours now, but at Garret's words, Holden's emotions became even more tumultuous.
The word love falling from Garret's lips had made Holden's heart contract in his chest. Holden realized the man spoke the truth. The mating bonds had been pulling at him too. If it weren't for those feelings, he didn't know if he could have come as far as he had in accepting Garret as his mate. Listening to Garret's words, that he'd f.u.c.ked and been f.u.c.ked, sucked and been sucked, and that he'd had s.e.x with women too, conjured images that set Holden on fire.
The moment Garret had said love, Holden knew that what he had begun to feel for Garret might be the same thing. The man's aesthetic beauty, his s.e.xy accent, the brilliant flas.h.i.+ng smile that seared it's way right down to Holden's toes...when combined with a rapier wit and sharply intelligent mind it was no wonder looking at him and smelling him turned Holden's insides to mush. And even worse than that, Holden had gotten an instant hard on when he'd seen Garret's clan mark, the dragon with the emerald in its mouth. To cover his reaction, he'd pushed Garret into the pool. Then, unable to stop himself, he'd dived in after him and come up from behind, stroking Garret's shoulder and instinctively pressing his hard c.o.c.k into the crease of Garret's a.s.s.
Now, looking down into Garret's worried eyes, he knew what was going to happen next even if Garret didn't. He wasn't sure yet how far he could go, or how much he could handle, but he knew he couldn't let Garret continue to think that he would turn away from him.
"Come here," he said softly, his eyes locked with Garret's.
When Garret cautiously got to his feet, Holden turned and walked into his bedroom. Behind him, he heard Garret's strangled gasp. He sat on the side of his bed and looked up as Garret hovered in the doorway, his luminous eyes dark with emotion.
"I said come here," he repeated, but this time he gestured to the s.p.a.ce in front of him. As Garret moved slowly toward him, Holden reached down and grabbed the hem of his t-s.h.i.+rt, pulling the s.h.i.+rt over his head.
Garret's eyes flickered, but he didn't say a word as he came to a stop, his knees brus.h.i.+ng Holden's. The touch, even between layers of denim, seared Holden. "On your knees," he murmured. "So I can kiss you."
The instant Garret knelt, Holden grabbed him by the back of the head, dragging him closer.
Garret's mouth opened beneath the onslaught of Holden's rough kiss. Never would he have kissed a woman like this, his tongue twisting insistently around the other man's, his lips hard and demanding. Garret's hands slid up the planes of Holden's chest, stopping to tease his nipples.
Holden knew his nipples were sensitive but Garret touching them was as if he'd been zapped by a cattle prod. Bolts of electricity crackled through his body and his dragon came to glorious life inside him, roaring with approval.
Holden pulled at Garret's t-s.h.i.+rt, sliding his hands beneath the material to touch the hot flesh beneath. He'd never touched a man s.e.xually before, didn't know what it felt like to stroke muscle and bone instead of soft curved flesh. Touching Garret set fire to his senses. His fingertips tested the texture of Garret's skin as he stroked his hands over rock hard abs and firm pecs. The hair roughened patches felt alien, though not in a bad way. Breaking the kiss, Holden stared at his mate for a moment. Garret's pale face had a slight s.e.xual flush and the pupils of his eyes had elongated. Holden figured his own irises were slits now too. Smoke curled around them, coming from both their nostrils. Reaching down Holden tugged Garret's s.h.i.+rt over his head.
"f.u.c.k. You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen," he muttered. "Your skin is like vellum."
He ran his fingertips over Garret's biceps. "So pale and the texture so smooth and fine, I just want to lick you."
"Then do it," Garret rasped. "Do whatever you want to me, Holden. I belong to you."
Holden shook his head. "No. This is a two way street, Garret. We're mates. We belong to each other." He drew a shaky breath. "I don't know how far I can go right now. Already everything feels so strange that I'm fighting the urge to run. But I want to be with you. I want to try."
Garret smiled then and Holden felt the odd sensation in his gut again. The man's smile did funny things to him that he couldn't put a name to. Garret stroked his hands over Holden's chest and shoulders, his fingers raising goose b.u.mps and setting Holden's senses on fire.
"Let's start easy then, why don't we?" Garret said quietly.
His hands stroked down Holden's ridged abdomen. c.o.c.k stiffening, Holden leaned back on his elbows, giving Garret a perfect view of the bulge behind his b.u.t.ton fly. Without looking away from Holden's gaze, Garret rubbed the flat of his palm over the ridge in Holden's jeans.
A low moan escaped Holden and Garret popped the b.u.t.tons of the jeans. He grasped the waistband of the jeans and Holden's briefs with his agile fingers and started to pull them down.
Holden hissed in a breath and Garret stopped, their eyes meeting.
"What do you want, Holden?"
l.u.s.t and fear warred inside Holden. There were other emotions too, but he didn't think he could go there at the moment. Not when his c.o.c.k was throbbing with need. He swallowed hard and gave voice to the visions inside his head.
"I want you to suck my c.o.c.k."
Garret's smile flashed out again, this time with a gleam of triumph in it. "Then relax. You've had b.l.o.w. .j.o.bs before. This isn't much different."
"A b.l.o.w. .j.o.b's a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b, isn't it?" Holden growled, just wanting the ache in his b.a.l.l.s to ease.
Garret winked at him. "Almost. There's something about the way a man sucks c.o.c.k that tells you he knows what you're feeling."
As Garret spoke, he eased Holden's jeans and briefs from his body, prodding him with a finger to the thigh to make him lift his hips. Naked now, his thick c.o.c.k curving toward his belly, pre-c.u.m already leaking in a steady stream from the wide head, Holden's breath came in rough pants. His dragon wanted him to shove his c.o.c.k at Garret, demanding he suck it, but Holden was cautious. Never having been with a man, he wasn't exactly sure what to expect. What he didn't expect was Garret to ignore his c.o.c.k and get to his feet.
He watched with wide eyes as Garret unzipped his jeans and slid them down his thighs. Then he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his briefs and pushed them down. Naked, his long, thick c.o.c.k bobbing as he s.h.i.+fted foot-to-foot, Garret's eyes were hooded, his expression guarded.
Holden gazed at the blue veined c.o.c.k and heavy b.a.l.l.s that made up Garret's genitalia. The urge to touch them grew inside him until smoke poured from his nostrils. Fear kept his hands on the bed though.
Holden spread his thighs, silently inviting Garret to touch him. With a little growl, Garret knelt on the floor at the edge of the bed, his shoulders pressing Holden's thighs wider. He blew a stream of warm air on Holden's b.a.l.l.s and they tightened.
"You manscape," Garret said in a low voice.
"Wax. Not all of it, just some. You do too," Holden grunted, l.u.s.t holding him in such an unrelenting grip that he could barely speak. In his head, he screamed for Garret to touch him, suck him.
"I will, Holden. I will. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone." Garret's words were as soft as the breath wafting over Holden's c.o.c.k.
As Holden watched, Garret cupped his b.a.l.l.s in his palm, kneading them with an expert touch. Holden groaned loudly as pleasure ripped through him. His eyes met Garret's. Slowly lowering his mouth to Holden's c.o.c.k, Garret swirled his tongue over the thick head, lapping up the leaking pre-c.u.m. Heart slamming in his chest, Holden gasped for air, as his whole body went up in flames. He sucked in a rough breath as Garret slid his mouth down over Holden's c.o.c.k, taking almost all of it. Garret's fingers curled tightly around the base and his other hand gently teased Holden's b.a.l.l.s and the crease of his a.s.s.
The hot wet suction of Garret's mouth on his c.o.c.k felt like no other b.l.o.w. .j.o.b he'd ever gotten. Holden s.h.i.+vered as Garret's tongue swirled and slurped around the thick head. The tip of his tongue teased the slit and flicked over the ridge before finding the spot that sent Holden into spasms of joy.
"Holy f.u.c.k! That feels so good!" he exclaimed, his hands reaching for Garret's head.
The texture of Garret's silky hair between his fingers was a counterpoint to the heated suction on Holden's c.o.c.k. He'd never had a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b be so perfect or feel so good. Garret knew exactly how to lick, suck, stroke in a rhythm that sent Holden's senses into a realm of pleasure he never knew existed. The tight wet heat of Garret's mouth was better than any p.u.s.s.y he'd ever f.u.c.ked and he knew without a doubt that he was going to make a total fool of himself by not lasting.
When Garret's fingers stroked over the tight bud of his a.n.u.s, Holden couldn't hold back a yowl of pure masculine pleasure. His whole body went rigid, his dragon clawing at him as smoke poured from his nose. Holden's eyes met Garret's as his b.a.l.l.s tightened painfully and he cried out, "Oh, f.u.c.k, Garret! I'm gonna come!"
Instead of backing off as so many women did when his e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n was imminent, Garret sucked him with renewed vigor. Again Garret stroked his a.n.u.s with a finger, this time pressing against it slightly as his thumb stroked over Holden's perineum. Fire exploded inside Holden and he groaned Garret's name as he came, his c.o.c.k pumping out more c.u.m than he could ever remember spewing before.
Garret sucked and swallowed, his velvety throat muscles ma.s.saging Holden's c.o.c.k as it jerked and twitched in his mouth. The sensation in his c.o.c.k and body was far beyond any Holden had ever experienced. Sweat shone on his skin, and his breathing was rapid and uneven. His muscles felt weak, and his whole body trembled in the aftermath of his o.r.g.a.s.m. Garret licked and sucked his way down Holden's now deflating c.o.c.k. When it popped free of Garret's mouth, the green dragon licked his lips in satisfaction.
"C'mere," Holden rasped, feeling weak and barely able to speak.
Garret knelt on the side of the bed beside Holden, his hard c.o.c.k jerking. Its head dripped pre-c.u.m. Holden reached up and pulled Garret down on top of him, his mouth seeking his mate's.
The feel of Garret's hard aroused body rubbing against his as they kissed made Holden aware of how far he had actually come in his acceptance of Garret. The feel of Garret's c.o.c.k rubbing against his naked thigh, the taste of his own c.u.m in Garret's mouth as they sucked each other's tongues sent l.u.s.t racing through him again even though he'd just come.
"Garret, I can't... I'm not ready to..." he stammered against Garret's mouth, trying to tell him that he wanted to help him come, but he wasn't ready to do what Garret had done to him. Just the thought of licking and sucking Garret's c.o.c.k aroused him, but fear held him in a steely grasp. He'd never done anything like that before, had never even thought about it, and thinking about it now terrified him.
"Sssh." Garret raised his head and smiled. Holden melted inside. When Garret smiled, the sun came out from behind a cloud.
Garret's hands stroked over Holden's body. "I know you're not ready. I can feel you trembling because I'm lying on you and touching you. This is all way too new."
The longer Garret lay on him, the more Holden began to relax even though he could feel his lover's thick c.o.c.k throbbing with arousal. He raised his hands and stroked them over Garret's shoulders and back, touching the clan mark in the small of his back. His mate sucked in a harsh breath and his c.o.c.k jumped.
"You like that," Holden murmured with satisfaction, touching the clan mark again.
Garret s.h.i.+vered and Holden clasped his arms around Garret's hard body, stroking him more boldly now. Garret began to moan and Holden kissed him again, their tongues tangling in a dance of seduction.
"G.o.ds, Holden. I want you so much. Just the touch of your hands on my skin is going to make me come," Garret groaned against Holden's mouth.
Holden pulled back from Garret's face slightly as an idea came to him. He smoothed his hands down over Garret's shoulders to cup his firm a.s.s. He might not know how to make love to man, but he knew how to touch a c.o.c.k. After all, he touched his own all the time. With only a slight hesitation, he reached for Garret's c.o.c.k, his fingers curving around its thickness, stroking slowly, the way he liked to stroke his own c.o.c.k. Garret's eyes went wide, the elongated pupils making his face seem even more l.u.s.t-ridden.
"You like this? You like me touching your c.o.c.k? Stroking you?" Holden murmured as he pressed his body against Garret's, his hand sweeping in long strokes over Garret's hot flesh. He could feel Garret trembling, feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he grew more excited.
Holden used Garret's free-flowing pre-c.u.m to slick up his fingers so they glided easily along the thick shaft. He brushed his mouth against Garret's in short, hot kisses that matched the strokes of his hand. He knew he had to be doing it right when Garret began to pump his hips into Holden's strokes. As Garret's rough breathing filled his ears, Holden kissed him harder, pinching his nipples as he continued squeezing and stroking his mate's c.o.c.k. Garret's whole body pressed against Holden's, his hips grinding into that fist. He nipped at Garret's lower lip and their gazes met and held.
Garret let out a long low moan as his hips pumped into Holden's hand faster and faster.
"Holden, I'm going to come!" he whispered roughly, his eyes wild.
Holden squeezed him harder, his fist moving in a twisting motion. "Come for me, baby. I want you to. Show me how much you want me," he said, feeling his heart race as Garret made a rumbling sound in the back of his throat. Every sound and movement Garret made turned him on. He felt like his skin was on fire.
Garret went rigid as Holden kissed him quickly then sucked at the side of his neck. "Oh, G.o.ds, I'm coming!" The thick c.o.c.k in Holden's hand jerked powerfully and he felt the hot splash of Garret's c.u.m against his lower abdomen. Garret shuddered, clutching at Holden's back with his hands, burying his face in his lover's shoulder.
"Oh, G.o.ds, Holden, I love you!"
The sound of Garret's words echoed in the bedroom. He shuddered and shook in Holden's arms as if his physical and emotional release had drained him. Holden cradled his mate against his body, stroking him soothingly and brus.h.i.+ng light kisses against his stubbled jaw. As much as Garret's words scared him, Holden knew they were the truth. The man had fallen in love with him. He knew that he felt something very deep and profound for Garret but he wasn't sure he could call it love. At least, not yet anyway.
Holden nudged Garret over on the bed and they sat up, watching each other speculatively.
Garret's eyes seemed almost wounded by his confession. In an effort to ease him, Holden touched the sticky c.u.m on his body, raising a finger to his mouth and tasting Garret's essence. Garret's eyes darkened.
"I don't want to hurt you, Garret. I'm going to try my d.a.m.nedest not to, but I can't say those words just yet, just like I'm not ready to suck your c.o.c.k or let you f.u.c.k me," Holden told his lover in a low, worried voice. "I need some time to get used to this. I want you. The G.o.ds know how much I want you and after what just happened between us, you should know it too. But it's new for me. And it's scary."
Garret leaned into Holden's body and kissed him lightly on the mouth. "I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put that pressure on you. I went crazy when you touched me."
Holden smiled. "I liked it. So far, I've liked everything we've done. But now, can we eat our cold dinner? I need some meat to jump start my metabolism and maybe then we can take another stab at this before we go to bed."
"We?" Garret's eyes looked at him questioningly.
Holden nodded and stood up, reaching to grab a handful of tissues from the bedside table. As he wiped c.u.m off himself, he said, "Yeah. You're my mate. And after the way you just sucked my c.o.c.k, do you think I'd let you sleep in the other room?"
That brilliant smile flashed out again and Garret stood up. "Shall we eat the cold food or order more?" he asked, happiness lighting his expressive face. Holden's heart turned over in his chest and he realized that he'd never felt quite this happy after s.e.x before. "We'll order more, and we can eat the cold food while we wait. I think I saw a microwave if we need it. We're dragons. The more meat the better. Fuel us and we can f.u.c.k all night," he joked.
"Promise?" Garret growled.
"Let's eat and then I'll show you that I don't say anything I don't mean," Holden told his mate, leaning over to give him a quick hard kiss.
Chapter Six.
Heaven had nothing on Holden Antaeus. The man had completely sent him round the bend with l.u.s.t and then satisfied it with the simple touch of his hand. Well, perhaps simple wasn't exactly the right word. What had happened between them in Holden's bedroom was complicated by emotions and mating bonds, confusion and fear. And not all of those things were on Holden's side. Garret had a full compliment of confusion and fear too. They just happened to be about different things.
Dressed only in their jeans, s.h.i.+rtless, barefoot, and commando, they wolfed down their cold prime rib as they waited for fresh steaks to arrive from room service. Garret tried not to think about what would happen after they ate. Antic.i.p.ation held him in a relentless grip that threatened to turn him into a babbling idiot at any moment. Somehow, he managed to keep himself together and focused on the information Holden gave him about the company.
Talking about Antaeus International was safe and innocuous. Except when Holden spoke, Garret found himself staring at the man's mouth, reliving how it tasted and what it felt like.
Unfortunately, his wandering thoughts seeped out no matter how hard he tried to contain them.
Even though Holden's demeanor remained the same, when room service knocked on the door, he shot out of his chair like a bullet from a gun.
Garret's appet.i.te waned a little. He really didn't want to frighten Holden off. Keeping himself under control was imperative. Holden's nervousness had to be overcome with patience and understanding. After all, in the s.p.a.ce of a day, he'd literally left one life behind for a new one. A life that included a mate and s.e.x with a man. Two things no straight man would be ready for so soon.
If there had been a way for Garret to get a better sense of where Holden's head was at, he would have felt a lot better about the situation. As it stood, trying to peek into the man's head when he was s.h.i.+elding hard against it would be an invasion of privacy and Garret couldn't risk the loss of trust that would occur if he tried. So he sat there at the dinner table, watching the room service waiters load the dirty dishes on a cart and set out the new plates of steaming food, all the while speculating on just what thoughts tumbled around in Holden's head.
When the waiters left, Holden returned to his seat, holding a bottle of wine. "You could just ask, Garret," he said in a mild tone as he poured two gla.s.ses of the ruby liquid.
"The things I want to know, I doubt you'd tell me," Garret replied honestly. "It's not just about what you think. It's about what you feel."
Holden nodded. "Forty eight hours ago I was f.u.c.king a woman and now I'm letting you suck my c.o.c.k and liking it." A deep sigh escaped him. "I'm no prude, Garret. I liked what you did to me. I liked what I did to you, as non-threatening as it was. I'm not comfortable with the full range of s.e.xual possibilities even though I've never thought of myself as a h.o.m.ophobe. I never thought in terms of 'them' and 'us' s.e.xually. So I guess what it boils down to is that I need to get comfortable with you, with the fact that you're my mate, with the fact that I'll be having s.e.x with a man for the rest of my life."
Garret shook his head. Holden had focused on the s.e.xual rather than the emotional. Finding your mate was about both, but the emphasis for Garret was not s.e.xual. He figured if they could accept each other as mates, everything else would fall into place. Holden kept bringing it all back to s.e.x, which told Garret that Holden's insecurities were all related to s.e.x with a man. A light bulb came on for Garret. He figured that somehow Holden thought that if he were to accept Garret fully as his mate and begin reciprocating s.e.xually, it meant he was gay. What it all meant to Garret was that his mate had some very narrow ideas about s.e.xual attraction, gender, and mating.