Heidegger's Glasses_ A Novel Part 11

He thought about trying to play another game, then noticed two pieces of paper he'd found in the main room. One read: Who in the h.e.l.l is bothering to write to us? Who in the h.e.l.l is bothering to write to us? The other read: The other read: If Lodenstein thinks this is all horses.h.i.+t why does he go along with imagining Goebbels? If Lodenstein thinks this is all horses.h.i.+t why does he go along with imagining Goebbels?

Both sounded like La Toya. He folded them and saw light in pale bands through the oblong windows. It was already dawn. He'd slept only three hours.

He was picking up another rose when he heard an engine roar into the clearing and boots crack the ice. The door to the shepherd's hut opened, and Lodenstein felt wind and cold weather on his face. Then he saw Stumpf tiptoeing past his room, holding his boots. Lodenstein walked over the smashed ivory box and experienced a moment of piercing repulsion, a sense of visceral recognition that happens after someone who's familiar has left and then comes back: all the things he'd done to airbrush Stumpf were out of reach.

Stumpf didn't know he was being watched. It gave Lodenstein vicious pleasure to put his hands around Stumpf's thick neck.

You evil f.u.c.ker, he said. I should shoot you in front of everyone.

Please, said Stumpf, in a wheezing voice. I didn't do anything.

Then why was Mikhail unconscious? And why are the gla.s.ses gone?

A terrible thing has happened, said Stumpf. Yes. Terrible.

What in G.o.d's name are you talking about?

Please don't shoot me, said Stumpf.

What happened?

I don't want to tell you.

Stumpf's eyes were points of dread in his enormous face. Lodenstein's stomach lurched.

What did you do? he said.

You don't want to know. Believe me.

You have to tell me.

I can't.

I have to know.

Stumpf looked down. Tears fell in the crevices of his face.

I promised to take Heidegger to Auschwitz, he said.

What?

I have to take Heidegger to Auschwitz.

Lodenstein pushed Stumpf against the wall so hard the bread Elfriede gave him fell from his pocket. Lodenstein picked up the bread and ground it into Stumpf's face. Then he pounded Stumpf's chins and neck and heavy shoulders and slammed his head against the wall as if he could pummel out everything Stumpf had done.

I can't believe you're real. You f.u.c.k up everything you touch, he said.

Stumpf began to wail.

Heidegger is a living link! he sobbed. A living link to the Compound!

Don't bother to spell it out. You've told me enough.

But Stumpf spelled everything out: How Elfriede Heidegger had made him peel potatoes. How Martin Heidegger had made him walk in the Black Forest. How planks could have fallen on his head. How he'd had to sleep behind a stove. How he'd brought the wrong gla.s.ses. How Mikhail's letter had fallen in the soup.

He went on and on until Lodenstein put his hands around Stumpf's neck with such force his chins rose around his face.

I want you to tell me about Elie, he said.

They don't know anything about Elie.

But Lodenstein knocked him to the floor again, and Stumpf's teeth cut his lips, oozing blood.

Tell me, he yelled.

Stumpf wiped the blood with his sleeve.

They know about Elie, he said.

Dear Cipriana,People are stealing shamelessly from each other-not just food, but shoes and coats. Still, every day I save a little more bread for you. Please come talk to me.Love,Mirella Lodenstein hit Stumpf on the mouth where it was already cut, oozing more blood. Then he shoved him down the incline into the mineshaft. When it thudded to the earth, he threw Stumpf to the ground and pounded on the door of Mueller's old room.

Let me in, he shouted to Elie. You have everything to lose if you don't.

Elie unlocked the door and shrouded her face with her hair so Lodenstein couldn't see she'd been crying.

Tell me something, he said. How many lives would you risk to save a child?

None, said Elie.

But you did, said Lodenstein. And now Heidegger has to go to Auschwitz.

I don't understand.

Ask Elfriede Heidegger. She says you're a little tart.

Elie flinched.

She doesn't know me.

Yes, she does. How many Polish women in Freiburg got her recipe for bundkuchen?

What do you mean?

I mean Stumpf told her your name.

Elie took off her scarf and wrung it as though it were a neck.

How could he do that? she shouted.

Because he's Stumpf, said Lodenstein. And you've set him up to do everything he's so good at.

I wish I'd changed my first name too.

Are you insane? Your name's not the point. You went behind my back twice. And now we're all in trouble.

Stop.

Why should I? I always stop. From asking what you do to get people across borders. Or why the SS are so nice to you.

I don't want to hear anymore.

You have to.

Elie went outside and sat on one of the wrought-iron benches. Lodenstein followed her.

You flirt all the time, he said. With forgers. With bakers. With anyone who could help.

Elie began to cry.

I told you I was going to see Heidegger myself, she said.

And then what were you going to do?

Manage it, said Elie. She heard her voice reverberate throughout the Compound. It sounded hollow, like a voice from the dead.

You mean manage Martin Heidegger, who loves the Reich but p.i.s.sed them off so much the Gestapo's watching him? You mean manage Elfriede Heidegger, who doesn't like you at all? You mean getting her to go to Auschwitz to pick up Asher Englehardt the way you'd pick up someone at a train station?

You're relentless, said Elie.

So are you, said Lodenstein.

It was barely six in the morning. The Scribes woke up and listened with concern. Mikhail Solomon opened his door.

You better come inside, he said. And for G.o.d's sake, talk quietly. You'll wake Dimitri.

Elie and Lodenstein sat far apart on velvet chairs. Mikhail touched the welt on his forehead. Talia looked at her hands.

Did any one of you ever think about how dangerous this was? said Lodenstein quietly, noticing Dimitri asleep on the couch.

We did it to save Maria, said Mikhail.

You knew I'd get her if you asked, said Lodenstein.

That doesn't matter, said Elie. I would have brought Heidegger the right gla.s.ses.

Who gives a d.a.m.n about the right gla.s.ses? said Lodenstein. You had no business messing around. Besides, Elie, if you were going to manage everything, why didn't you write the f.u.c.king letter yourself?

I don't know enough philosophy to mess it up, said Elie.

Ah! Our linguist from Freiburg. Why bother to write a letter at all? Why not just talk to Elfriede Heidegger?

Because it got involved with saving Maria, said Elie.

That's ridiculous, said Lodenstein. Stumpf's a fool. So now Heidegger knows about Elie.

My G.o.d, said Talia.

What else did you expect? said Lodenstein. And there's even more: Stumpf's promised Heidegger he can see Asher at Auschwitz.

But that's not possible, said Mikhail.

But he has to, said Lodenstein. Because if he doesn't, Elfriede Heidegger will tell Goebbels that he knows about the Compound. Did you ever think that almost sixty lives were at stake? Or who would have to fix this?

No one answered. Mikhail and Talia reached for cigarettes.

While they smoked, the crescent moon made its last mechanical descent-the gears creaking and groaning like a giant in agony. Lodenstein walked to the window and wondered if everyone woke up to a life they hadn't chosen or whether he was the only one who'd been singled out. Was this a punishment for joining the Party without giving the matter much thought? Or for not helping Elie with Heidegger's gla.s.ses in the first place? No matter. He kicked an ottoman and left the room. Elie followed.

Where are you going? she said.

To see Goebbels, he answered.

You can't. It's too dangerous.

I have to, Elie. They know your name.

But Goebbels is crazy.

You should have thought of that sooner.

Lodenstein went to the mineshaft too quickly for Elie to get in, locked the door to their room, and played Imaginary Thirteen and Half & Half. A few Scribes were in the clearing, and he didn't want to run into them in the SS uniform he had to wear for trips to Berlin. So he couldn't leave and felt imprisoned, as if time was solid, and he was standing next to it. He played more solitaire and got perverse satisfaction when Elie tried to open the door.

It's dark, she said. You can't drive there at night.

Of course I can, he said.

Gerhardt, please. I'm sorry I started this.

It's about saving you now. And everyone else in the Compound.

He pushed away the clutter and managed more solitaire. It was awkward on the floor, but he viewed the upturned furniture as a token of his anger and felt setting it right would be a concession-especially to Elie if she saw he'd straightened the room.

Near midnight he put underwear, socks, his gun, and playing cards into a duffel bag. He checked for bullets, knotted the black SS tie, considered taking the compa.s.s, decided not to, then rummaged in the trunk for the rose Elie gave him when he asked her to sleep upstairs again. He found it by the broken wool carder-soft, fragrant, like a rose in a summer garden. He held it for a moment then pushed it to the bottom of the trunk. But within moments he was rummaging again. The rose was still perfect when he found it, buried under photographs, clocks, and lamps. He picked it up and put it in his pocket.

Dear Dasha,We have no thought of our lives, anymore. We can't let our children, our friends, our husbands, our wives, remember us as going under.Love,Nicolai Gerhardt Lodenstein let himself out of the shepherd's hut a few minutes after Mikhail and Lars came back from the watchtower. There had just been a snowfall, and his boots carved a path-one he hoped Elie would see in the morning. A week ago she'd taken his jeep to buy cigarettes and left a red scarf on the seat. He threw it next to his duffel bag. Then he began to drive on the long, narrow road.

The fresh snow was piled in drifts, and every few minutes he had to get out and shovel a path. He shoveled angrily, lifting huge mounds of snow and throwing them into the forest. While he shoveled, he remembered Elie parodying the n.a.z.i salute when he began to throw their dresser drawers on the floor for the second time. She had kicked s.h.i.+rts and camisoles and said he was a f.u.c.king n.a.z.i. He'd overturned the mattress again and told her she was lucky because only a f.u.c.king n.a.z.i could fix this mess. The images exploded along with regret: He should have let Elie in when she cried outside the door. They should have made love. Suppose he didn't come back? Suppose he never saw her again?