Mail-order Bridegroom Part 32

"I'd give it my best shot. We don't live like you. We live quietly within

our means. Besides, if she wanted to, she could take another job. Somethinginteresting, part- time.""Like what?" Marsh asked bluntly."Your mother is excellent at running a large house but she's had no experience in the work force.

Unemployment is running high and she's not the right age. You must realise

she wants to be independent. Life is a lot different for her these days,Rosa. You should check that out. "Roslyn took a deep, calming breath."No, thanks, Marsh. Charming as you undoubtedly know how to be, my mother is still your servant.""We don't use words like that anymore, Rosa," he said crisply."Haven't you learned?""My mother might appreciate that. / don't." She shrugged."I've carved out a life for myself. Marsh. A good life. I've bought a house and I have a secure, rewarding career. At this point I'm reasonablyhappy when happy is a mighty big word. It would be foolish and dangerous toallow myself to be drawn back to Mac.u.mba."

"Yet you loved it," Marsh said, his expression faraway.

"There were times you were extravagantly happy. No one saw the magic of

Mac.u.mba more than you. You knew all its secrets. You were addicted to thelife, Rosa. That can't have changed."There was so much emotion in just being in the same room as him, Roslyn felt stifled."I've confronted that realisation. Marsh, but I've had to remove myself fromthe scene of so much pain and humiliation. Most of all, I've removed myselffrom you. You wounded me more than anyone.""You were a child, Rosa." His voice reflected a bitter regret."Old enough to give you pleasure."Her arrogant Marsh visibly winced."You wanted me as much as I wanted you.""Yet you drove me away!"

"I had to!" Air hissed through his teeth."It was a dangerous situation. The timing was all wrong. You were sixteenand I wasn't truly adult, either. Violent delights have violent ends, sothey say, Rosa. How could I take you" -- "You did take me!" she cried, hervoice rising pa.s.sionately.

"I haven't forgotten. I was a savage then and wild for you. No one knew

better how to tempt me.""Of course!" She threw up her hands in disgust. "Woman, the eternaltemptress. Woman destroying a good man's willpower. I know what I did.Marsh. How I acted. I abandoned myself to a fiery relations.h.i.+p.

But I paid for it. G.o.d, how I paid for it. Afterwards you made sure I waskept out of the way. Mac.u.mba shut its doors. You started wooing a wholestring of suitable girls. You even went to infinite pains to make sure Iknew. Well, it didn't take me long to overthrow the old idolatry.Everything I felt for you sickened and died. You used me and I let you. Iacknowledge that. But all that is left is remorse. "

"Then it must be pretty powerful," Marsh challenged her bluntly."You'd rather hate me than love anyone else."The truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth.It cut straight to Roslyn's heart. She sprang up, in her agitation knocking her coffee so that some of the hot liquid splashed across her hand.

Instantly the fine skin turned red.

"For G.o.d's sake!" Marsh moved like lightning, overcoming her resistance and drawing her to the kitchen sink. He ran the cold water and held her hand under it. "Why do you fight me all the time? Fight yourself?" There was an angry, haunted look on his face.

"Maybe conflict is my natural milieu." His skin on hers was sending little tingles up her arm.

"Quiet, Rosa. Quiet." With infinite gentleness he dabbed a paper towel to her hand, miraculously as ever, concerned for the delicacy of her skin.

Put your hat on, poppet, and keep it on How often had she heard him say that and adoringly obeyed? She felt such a longing for him; for the best days of her life, she almost cried out. The old magical link was running between them. Indestructible. She could see it in his eyes; echoes of a pa.s.sion that had caused nothing but upset and pain.

His nearness was intoxicating, trapping her. She wanted to touch him. hold him. take him to her breast.

"Rosa?"

He had broken her heart once. He would do it again.

Come to me, Rosa, my little love I The way he had talked to her! The world of ecstasy and wonderful dreams! What she had felt for him was a flame that had never gone out.

"Look at me," Marsh urged.

"The pain will go away if you let it."

It might have been the devil himself at his most seductive and charming. A younger Marsh had been a tempestuous lover. Now he was beguiling her with such tender depth in his voice.

A fierce quaking gripped her. She could not move or speak. She knew it for what it was. An erode spell. Under compulsion she raised her mouth and, as if at a signal, a look of triumph blazed into his eyes.

"My beautiful Rosa!"

He was drawing her closer and closer, filling her with a consuming pa.s.sion.

She made no outcry. Lean, caressing fingers bent her head back over his arm.

Gentle, but insistent. No guilt at all at having her at his mercy. He was looking at her with such a mixture of feelings.

Conquest? Oh, yes!

Possession? Why not? Wasn't she Rosa, his little captive love? It was her special role to please him.

This was the stuff of her dreams. The nighttime visions that fanned the terrible storms in her. She didn't realise it, but her knees had buckled so badly he was forced to take her weight.

A single lock had fallen away from his ink-black hair, lying in a crisp curl on the polished bronze of his forehead. His eyes were achingly blue, like the sky over the desert.

"Rosa. Oh, Rosa," he whispered, looking--could it be possible? --vulnerable.

It was all that she needed. She had waited a long time for this.

Pride and resolve streamed into her. She went as rigid as a statue, revenge burning fiercer than love. Once she had been a wild thing in his arms.

Young, . untamed, clamouring for the rapture he had shown her ; one perilous, desert night. Now she was breaking his power.

Exorcising him and the terrible fascination that; had bedevilled her for so long. : "Let me love you," he begged, frustrated by her withdrawal His free hand had found the curve of her breast, I cupping it. An ancient ritual that dredged up an invol- I '1 untary moan. Eddies of dark pleasure begancascading in, lapping at her willpower."What is it?" he asked urgently."Trust me, Rosa."

Trust him when he had dealt her such a terrible blow? Was he mcuT!Was she'i The tenderness was no more than a manifestation of his mastery. Anangry little sob escaped her and instantly he buried her open mouth beneathhis.

Fever and delirium. All it had ever been. Trying to resist Marsh was like

getting caught in a rip-tide. She would never have her freedom.Loving him, hating him, gave meaning to her life. For the moment shesurrendered while ecstasy was repossessed.

"Rosa!" His low, agonised whisper came against her throat.

"Don't tremble like that. I don't mean to" -- At that she jerked her headback."You do mean to!" Her voice cracked with emotion."As soon as you touch me, you mean to. You think I'm still a Faulkner possession. You can have me any time you choose.""That's not true!" He denied it vehemently."If it were, why haven't I laid a finger on you in years?""Because I've taken good care you don't!" She stared up at him, her arousal equal to his own."Good grief, Marsh, don't you know how I hate you?""Hate me?" He almost spat it out."Hate me, love me, what's the difference? h.e.l.l, I even like your kind of hate. You're a lost soul, Rosa, but you won't let anyone save you."

"Not you I was your unquestioning victim once. Never again. I won't doanything to have you. Contrary to your expectations.""Don't say any more, Rosa." There was a warning sparkle in his eyes."But there is more," she continued, quite unable to stop.

"I'm fearful of coming to Mac.u.mba. I've said it's because of your extendedfamily, who, with few exceptions, treated me and my mother like asub-species. They took the view, of course, that they didn't have to botherthey heads over the servants. But really, it's all to do with you. I don't give a d.a.m.n about them and their place in the sun. You knew I was in love with you, long before I knew what being in love was. You were a G.o.d to me.Surely you saw that? The sun danced in the heavens every time you smiled at me. You had such powers. I placed all my trust in you. My life. If youlooked into your soul, you would know that you had the power to destroy me."

A tremendous tension was all around them. His blue eyes glittered like gems.

"You, Rosa?" he returned scornfully.

"You call yourself a victim? You're strong and you're clever. You've foughtyour way out of a background you apparently detested. You were always tooproud.

Too ready to see insult where it wasn't really intended. So people arecareless, insensitive? They don't always intend to wound. You've been as toey as a boxer since you were a child. If you imagine I've treated youbadly, how do you think you've treated me? I'm sick to death of your bittertongue. The way you want to lash me whenever I come near. I let you go. I had to. Both of us were thrown into a terrible, painful situation. The timing couldn't have been worse. So I was weak, with; no thought in my headbut having all the beauty and innocence you offered. I've suffered for it. Don't think I haven't. There's heartache and regret in every corner of mymind. If you loved me, / wors.h.i.+pped at your altar. There was no limit to mypa.s.sion. But it was wrong and ] audacious. It had to stop. " < "="" so="" youcould="" feel="" virtuous="" again?="" in="" control?="" "="" ros="" lyn="" stared="" into="" his="" eyes,="" saturated="" in="" their="" blue="" ness="" "besides,="" the="" scandal="" might="" have="" travelled="" far="" and="" wide.="" the="" heir="" to="" mac.u.mba,="" sir="" charles="" and="" lady="" faulkner's="" adored="" only="" son="" having="" it="" off="" with="" the="" housekeeper's="" daughter.="" my="" G.o.d,="" who="" of="" the="" elite="" could="" grapple="" with="" that?="" grounded="" in="" conservatism="" and="" doing="" the="" done="">

Marsh's striking face tightened.

"As far as I remember, correct me if I'm wrong, the housekeeper's precious daughter did everything in her considerable power to delight me. Venus herself couldn't have been more alluring. You held me in your palm, yet you insist on playing the tragic victim. You always were a great one for histrionics. These past couple of years you've never let me near you. But you won't let go, either. What is it, the G.o.ddess syndrome? Believe me, I'm at the end of my tether. What is it you want, Rosa? Spell it out.

Marriage?"

' For a moment Roslyn looked as though the sky had fallen in on her.

"Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that," she said finally.

"What did you expect?" he demanded.

"A lifetime of being my mistress?"

She visibly paled. Her nerves were worn ragged.

"For a while... nothing... more. I was crazy with love for you. So young, so ardent, I couldn't hold back. We had unforgettable times. Secrets between us, but it's long gone. You hurt me too much and I can never forgive you.

Right or wrong, that's the way it is. I can't even bear to be in the same room as you. "

"What about the same bed?" he asked on a hard rasp.

She shook her head.

"We never shared the same bed."

"Only the two of us locked under the desert stars. So what does it all mean? Liv has to suffer, too?"

Roslyn turned away, looking her strain.

"We've been over and over this. Marsh. Even for my mother I can't walk back into the lion's cage."

He looked over at her, his blue gaze detached, even distant.

"Not even as my wife?"

CHAPTER TWO.

shock immobilised her. Her heart rocked wildly, then seemed to shudder to astop."I know," he said flatly."It didn't sound romantic." In fact he was looking at her like a long-time opponent who had thrown down a challenge.

"Maybe these last years have beaten the romance out of me.

At any rate, I'm serious. "

Roslyn, for all her intelligence, was looking as though she was having

extreme difficulty tracking the conversation.

"You're serious?"

Her voice came out oddly pitched and full of confusion.

Marsh's brief laugh conveyed anything but humour. "Why the h.e.l.l are you

looking so stunned? For my sins, I am.""Sins? Atonement? You must be mad!"He nodded in perfect agreement."For better or worse, you're the woman I want.""Pa.s.sion, Marsh. Nothing more." Her tone was pained and very subdued."I wouldn't knock the pa.s.sion if I were you," he said sardonically."In my experience it's pretty rare. I've never had a woman raise such h.e.l.l in me. You've brains, courage, toughness. I admire your style. I even admire your wild nature though you do your level best to keep it under wraps.Under that satin skin lurks a primitive."

"Takes one to know one," she retorted instantly, but still in that subduedtone. Her eyes scanned his face, marvelling at the precise arrangement offeatures that made it so compelling.

"This is madness, Marsh. You made your decision. So did I. They can't be

unmade. Why, if your parents were still alive, you'd never propose such athing."He hated that. How he hated that, for his eyes flashed blue lightning."I could have sworn you knew me. Now I realise you don't.I've never proposed to a woman in my life, but if I had, no one would have prevented the marriage. No one runs me" " So you say! " She reacted

fierily.

"Times might have changed, but your family didn't change with them. They believed in the old feudal system."