When All Hell Breaks Loose Part 23

Various forms of stored food: (from left to right) Pasta, dried fruit, canned food, MREs (meals ready to eat), freeze-dried and dehydrated food in single-serving foil packets, whole grains and legumes, and dried food in nitrogen-packed #10 can.

Cook stove options. The small fold-up stove in front uses hexamine or other fuel tablets for fuel. Notice the coffee-can cook pot on the far left with bailing wire handle and tinfoil lid.

No conventional kitchen stove? Not a problem with a handy dandy two-burner camping stove.

Preparing to break-in a Dutch oven with its first meal in the backyard.

Picture perfect pots; one sporting a genuinely jamming Ace Frehley (my boyhood hero) rubber ducky. Note the metal loop on the lids for securely tying them down, with or without survival ear inside, when needing to hit the road.

1 Bright ideas to light up your life! The blue LED flashlight in the middle has its own solar-panel charger built in, thus it never needs conventional batteries. Note that extra batteries are stored within their original package.

2 Lovable lanterns. The white gas (middle) and propane (right) models smell and get hotter than h.e.l.l when lit. Use caution, common sense, and serious ventilation if you dare use them indoors. The battery-operated lantern on the left is the only safe lantern of this variety for use indoors.

3 Curious candle collection. The big green one in the back, through a combination of poor design and cheap wax, sucks as the flame tunnels into the candle as it burns, hiding the flame before it finally puts itself out. The "t.u.r.d"-shaped candles in the front are handmade from beeswax and bear fat with a hand-twisted, two-ply wick made from a dogbane plant (Apocynum cannabinum).

4 Two "lights" for the price of one by using a mirror. Horrid, jail jumpsuit orangecolored candles can be bought cheaply in after-Halloween sales.

5 Smaller oil lamps give off a surprising amount of light. "Gla.s.s wicks" ensure worry-free operation for years.

6 Oil lamps, just like grandma used.

7 Homemade oil lamp made from a tuna can, cooking oil, and a wick created from a strip of paper towel.

8 Candle lanterns. Notice the homemade one in the center created from a gla.s.s food jar, wire for hanging, sand, and a candle.

1 Cute but "ho-hum" chemical light sticks before boiling.

2 Bright. . .

3 Brighter. . .

4 Brightest!

5 Heated sticks kick out a fierce amount of light, at the expense of longevity.

Piece of resin-saturated wood (pitch stick) propped open into four p.r.o.ngs to allow for greater oxygen when lit and burning.

Awesome aboriginal candle. Raw pitch wood (from a conifer) is below. Notice yellowish color at far left.

Ready to roll. The "single-shoulder" carry allows the pack to be dropped from the body very quickly.

The "double-shoulder" carry is similar to a modern backpack. This method is more comfortable for longer treks.

Improvised fabric backpack with gear.

When the pack is "closed," this side will be in contact with your body. Stuff sacks allow you to carry odds and ends in an organized fas.h.i.+on without losing them from the pack. Water bottle weight is counterbalanced on either side.

Long live the wheel! Don't let an addiction to petroleum dumb you down when needing to transport the goods, human or otherwise.

Help with "getting out of dodge" while keeping your hands free: conventional backpacks, day packs, f.a.n.n.y packs, and portable shelter options (tents and tarps).

1 "Taking out" the pantry rodent raider. Urban deadfall trap made from a book, two pencils, dental floss, a match, and a s.h.i.+sh-ka-bob skewer.

2 Two raisins skewered on bait stick serve as an incentive.

3 Commercial traps set in a rodent run. The mousetrap in the middle, baited with peanut b.u.t.ter, can be modified like the rattrap at right using a piece of whatever to improvise a "death paddle," allowing the animal to trip the trap by scurrying across its surface; no bait needed.

1 Five-star survival cuisine: mouth-watering rat on a platter with colorful garnish.

2 Welcome home, honey!

3 You'll dazzle after-disaster dinner guests with your succulent mouse on a stick. Watch 'em beg for the recipe!

4 Eating what bugs you. A hopper-ka-bob, fresh off the grill.

Got rats? Watch the wee ones squeal with delight when playing fas.h.i.+on with their dolls using the pelts from your kills. Surviving in style for the "nuclear family"!

Light my fire! A few of the more common ways to achieve ignition. Unfortunately, the white-tipped strike-anywhere matches in the Prince-approved purple match safe are slowly but surely disappearing from the market due to federal regulations. Thanks for keeping us safe, guys!

A bevy of commercial technical tinders and other things that burn. Tinders are typically used to help ignite fuel, wet or otherwise, when using meager ignition sources. Other than my homemade tinder described in 98.6 Degrees: The Art of Keeping Your a.s.s Alive!, my favorite is the Fire-Up brand in the middle.

Extreme close-up of using 0000 steel wool and batteries to create heat.

Notice the tinder bundle made from juniper bark and dryer lint.

The "glowing snake" of steel wool at the bottom will be quickly put into the tinder bundle and blown into flame-a harmony of heat/ignition, fuel, and oxygen.

Robbie Rubbish homemade sleeping bag created from barrel liners, duct tape, and newspaper.

Keeping in touch with updates from authorities with a hand-crank powered AM/FM radio.

Emergency potties in the garage ready for deposits. Notice sc.r.a.p lumber as an improvised toilet seat.

end.