Across The Great Barrier Part 12

I WOKE THE NEXT MORNING TO BIRDSONG AND BRIGHT SUNs.h.i.+NE. The last I could remember of the dream was walking and walking, with the silver cord slipping through my fingers and disappearing behind me. I didn't remember getting anywhere, though I'd have sworn I'd walked a long way. That was dreams for you, I thought, and put it out of my mind.

That was the last time I had the drowning dream. Since it hadn't ended with me drowning and waking up scared to death, I didn't feel any urgency about talking to Professor Torgeson about it any longer. I might have talked to her, anyway, if one of the daybats at the menagerie hadn't hurt a wing and made things extra busy for the next couple of days. By the time things settled down, cla.s.ses had started and the professor was busy with her students. After a while, I forgot about it.

I didn't forget about practicing my Avrupan magic, though. At first, I only worked on the householding spells, because I had to do those for ch.o.r.es, anyway, so all I had to do was quit using Aphrikan magic to sh.o.r.e them up. I worked on one spell a day, so that I wouldn't get caught on account of doing my ch.o.r.es slowly and have to explain. By the end of the month, I had all my regular ch.o.r.e spells down cold, and I was starting in on things like the general storage spell that we only had to cast once or twice in a year.

What really surprised me was that getting the spells right was fun. Now that I was actually thinking about what I was doing, I could use my Aphrikan magic to sense where the spells were going wrong, and then figure out how to fix them. Even so, breaking the habit of using Aphrikan magic to force my Avrupan spells to work right was hard. If I didn't pay attention every single time I cast a spell, I forgot and did it the way I'd gotten used to. And every time I did that, it made it harder to remember the next time.

My Aphrikan magic was a lot better, too. I'd never been taught anything except world-sensing and foundation work, and I hadn't noticed much of any change in how I did those since Miss Ochiba left. Oh, they'd gotten a bit easier with practice, but that was all. Even so, I'd kept on with practicing my Aphrikan world-sensing every morning, just as I'd started doing out in the settlements. After that last dream, I started trying to keep my world-sensing up all the time again, except when I was doing Avrupan spells. It was a whole lot easier to do in Mill City than it had been out in the settlements, and a lot more comfortable, too.

That fall, my sense of the world opened up unexpectedly. Up until then, I'd only ever been able to sense my own spells clearly. I could tell when someone else was casting magic, and I could sense really strong spells like the Great Barrier Spell and the working that Wash had done at Daybat Creek, but that was about all. During the trip with Wash and Professor Torgeson, my world-sensing had gotten more sensitive a" I could feel everyday things that were farther away, and even things that were out of sight behind trees or rocks a" but as soon as I started using my Aphrikan world sense to learn my Avrupan spells properly, I started being able to sense other people's magic.

First I noticed that I could sense some everyday spells without particularly looking for them, the same way I could sense people and animals and chairs. Things like the fly-block spell, or the minder spell that Mrs. Callahan always put on the kettle of beans to make sure they didn't burn. The spells didn't stand out or seem unusual; they were just there. After a bit of work, I found that I could sense other folks' magic even when they weren't casting spells. I could feel a lot more normal-strength spells, too, and I could even tell a magical creature from a natural one without looking straight at them and concentrating. And I had less and less trouble keeping my world-sensing going.

The changes seemed important, but Wash was still out in the settlements and no one else in Mill City understood much about Aphrikan magic. I thought about writing to Miss Ochiba, but I hadn't seen her for nearly two years and I felt funny just up and writing out of the blue. So I wrote to William instead.

For once, William wrote back right away. He had a lot of questions, and every time I answered one batch, he sent me a letter with another set. He even asked Miss Ochiba a" I still couldn't think of her as Professor Ochiba. All he could tell me was that she'd looked very pleased when he'd talked to her, so I was probably doing something right.

Lan wrote, too, but not as often. He wasn't much interested in how my Aphrikan magic was going, really, though he tried to tell me I'd learn more of it faster if I got more schooling. He skipped right over the parts of my letters where I told him I was having to relearn all my Avrupan spells pretty much from scratch.

In October, the young mammoth in the menagerie got restless again. Professor Jeffries took to having some of his animal husbandry students come by to help with the calming spells, and one of them, Roger Boden, stayed even after November came and the snow fell and the mammoth calmed down.

Mr. Boden was a bit taller than I was, with red-blond hair, blue eyes, and a square, solid build. He was gentle and quiet, good with the animals, and always polite to me. He was also one of Professor Jeffries's favorite students, and he made me very nervous.

After all, I'd gotten my job by doing pretty much what he was doing: hanging about the menagerie and offering to help out and pestering Professor Jeffries with questions. Only there wasn't enough work at the menagerie to hire on another person, so if Professor Jeffries decided he wanted better help, he'd have to replace me. And Mr. Boden was better, by any measure; he was two years older than I was, a lot handier with Avrupan magic, and a lot more knowledgeable about animals, especially wildlife, on account of having finished two years at the Northern Plains Riverbank College already.

One afternoon, late in November, he came over as I was putting away the last of the spell-casting supplies and said, "Excuse me, Miss Rothmer, I was wondering a"

"Yes?" I said with a tiny sigh. I'd been looking forward to being done for the day, but Mr. Boden hardly ever spoke to me unless he needed something. "What can I do for you, Mr. Boden?"

"I, ah, was wondering a if you are finished for the day a" He hesitated. "If I might walk you to your home."

"Oh!" was all I could think to say for a good long minute. "I a" yes, I'm nearly done. That is a I would like that."

It was a gloomy, raw November day, all gray skies and bare trees. The air had a nip to it that promised more snow soon. We'd had two snowfalls already, early in the month, but neither had been much to speak of and they'd both melted off during the previous week's warm spell. It didn't feel like whatever was coming would be melting again until March.

The chill and the wind didn't make for much conversation. When we came to the front gate, he thanked me gravely for the pleasure of my company and went on his way, leaving me openmouthed in surprise. I went inside and thought very hard for the rest of the evening.

Mr. Boden walked me home again a few nights later. It wasn't long before he was accompanying me two or three nights every week as a settled thing, and I was pretty sure that it wasn't Professor Jeffries or the animals that kept him coming back to the menagerie, or at least, not only them.

It took me a time to get accustomed to the notion that Mr. Boden might be in the way of courting me. What convinced me was Allie's behavior. She was polite enough when he first started dropping in; after all, it was no new thing for us to have students from the college in and out of the house at all hours of the day. By Christmas, though, she was frowning at me and muttering whenever Mr. Boden's name came up in talk. Even Nan noticed, when she came by with her gifts for the family and stayed for dinner.

The three of us a" Nan, Allie, and I a" were in the kitchen, finis.h.i.+ng up the dishes. Even being a married lady with her own house wasn't enough to keep Nan from helping with ch.o.r.es when she was home. Nan asked how things were at the menagerie and winked at me, and Allie started right in muttering, and to my surprise, Nan rounded on her.

"You just stop that right now, Allison Rothmer!" Nan said. "Or do you want to end up like Rennie?"

"Like Rennie?" Allie said, looking startled and offended. She tossed her head. "Ha! I'm not stupid enough to run off with a Rationalist! I can do better than that."

"Maybe, but the way you're acting, you won't even find a gentleman to talk to, much less one willing to run off with you!" Nan said. "If it bothers you so much that Eff has a beau and you don't, go find one for yourself. Fussing at Eff won't help."

Allie stared at her for a second, then burst into tears. Nan rolled her eyes and went to comfort her. I hung back. I wasn't sure Allie would want me rea.s.suring her just then, especially if all her temper was on account of her being jealous of Mr. Boden and me.

Nan seemed to agree with me. She jerked her head toward the door. I nodded and slipped out. Luckily, Mama and Papa had gone into the study to talk, so I could get upstairs without them seeing. A long while later, Allie came up to join me and apologize.

Things were better at home after that, though Allie never did quite explain why she'd acted as she had. I wondered for a while if Allie fancied Mr. Boden for herself. I watched her carefully for a few weeks whenever he was around, and decided she didn't. It was more that she was three years older than me, and all of our older sisters were married. I think she felt like it should be her turn next, not mine.

When I finally figured that out, I felt more than a bit odd. Roger Boden had been walking me home from the menagerie and stopping in to have tea; it was a long way from that to getting married, I thought. It made me a little nervous around him.

It also made me think a lot. I liked Roger just fine, but I wasn't sure that I liked him the way Mama liked Papa or Nan liked her husband, Gordon. I certainly didn't like him enough to run off with, the way Rennie and Brant had, though when I thought about it, I couldn't see him ever asking me to do something like that. The question was, could I like him that way, and did I want to? He was an awfully nice man, and Papa and Professor Jeffries both spoke highly of his prospects. I could be happy with him, if I worked at it, and it wasn't like I had a lot of other suitors banging at our door.

But I wasn't sure I wanted to work at being happy with Roger. I didn't want to get married just because most of my sisters had. I'd had a taste of what things were like on the far side of the Great Barrier Spell, and that was what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. I still didn't know how I could do that, but I was pretty sure that marrying Roger wasn't the way to get there. And I wasn't ready to settle for second best.

Maybe if Nan and Allie hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have noticed what was going on until much later. Maybe by then I'd have fallen in love with Roger and decided he was first best after all; or maybe I'd have felt that I'd led him on and was obligated to marry him. That wasn't the way things worked out, though, and now I had to make a conscious decision. It would have been a lot easier if I could have just let things happen.

So I was downright skittish when, late in January, Mr. Boden asked if he could have a private word with me before our walk home. "Miss Rothmer," he began, "I wanted to tell you a that is, I wanted you to be the first to know that I have had some unexpected good fortune."

I relaxed considerably when I heard that. "Good fortune?" I said.

"Yes," he said. "Professor O'Leary was kind enough to recommend me to one of his colleagues at St. Edmund's, in Albion, for advanced study in applied metaphysics and esoteric geomancy, and not only have I been accepted, he's found me a sponsor."

Applied metaphysics and esoteric geomancy sounded plenty advanced to me, but what I said was, "St. Edmund's? In Oxford? That's one of the oldest schools of magic in Avrupa!"

Mr. Boden nodded. "It is a very great honor, and an opportunity I couldn't pa.s.s up."

"Well, of course you couldn't!" I said indignantly. "Who would expect you to?"

"I am very glad you feel that way." He hesitated, then went on. "I will be leaving in two weeks, and I'll be gone for a year. May I write you?"

"Um," I said. "I a" once in a while, maybe, just as a friend."

I maybe put a little too much emphasis on those last few words, because his face went still. After a minute he nodded slowly. "Yes, that would be best," he said thoughtfully. "A year is a long time; who knows what may happen?"

"Exactly," I said. I didn't mention that I kind of hoped he'd find a nice girl in Albion who'd suit him better than I would.

Roger Boden left Mill City two weeks later, and it was hard not to heave a sigh of relief to see him go. Winter was usually the slow season at the menagerie, what with so many of the animals hibernating, but that year I was busier than a hen with a double set of chicks. Most of the extra business was coming from Professor Torgeson. I'd been helping her out, off and on, ever since we'd gotten back from the settlements. One of the first things she'd done after we'd unpacked all our specimens was to send off a letter to a friend of hers back East, a Mr. Collingsworth, who worked in historical excavation for the Philadelphia Inst.i.tute of Magic. She'd told him about the stone animals we'd found, and how we'd found them, and she'd even enclosed one as a sample.

In early fall, she'd started getting letters back. First it was a note from Mr. Collingsworth, mentioning that he'd talked her news over with some of his colleagues. Then it was a couple of letters from other folks, asking for further details about the fragment or reporting on their initial study of the sample. They were all hugely excited by the find, and even though none of them was ready to say exactly what they thought it meant, they all agreed that people should know about it right away, so as to get as many more scholars and magicians and scientists in on helping them figure it all out.

In December, Mr. Collingsworth had an announcement published, telling about the stone fragments and how they'd been found. By February, when Mr. Boden left for Albion, Professor Torgeson was getting baskets full of letters every day, mostly from scientists and magicians who had questions or theories, or who wanted one of the stone animals so they could do some investigating of their own. That was when I started spending more time at her office, helping answer the letters. We didn't have enough stones to give one to everyone who wanted one, but the professor sent a few out to particularly well-known scientists and magicians.

The more pieces the professor sent out, the more letters she got back. Most of the scientists were just as excited as Mr. Collingsworth and his friends, but there were also quite a few who said it was all some kind of hoax. Some of them got downright nasty about it.

I was more than a little surprised by all the fuss. It wasn't as if the stones were any kind of threat to the settlers; they'd been lying there under the hill since long before the settlements went out that far. I was plenty curious about how they'd gotten there and what they meant, but I couldn't see any reason for people to be mean.

The letters kept coming. It got so I was having to spend all afternoon at Professor Torgeson's office answering letters, or she wouldn't have had time to teach. I received one of my own, from Lan, wanting to know all the details of how we'd found the stone animals and why the professor thought they were real animals that had been turned to stone and not fossils or duplications or some other fancy magical thing that I don't recall the name of. Then, early in March, Mr. Parsons from the Settlement Office showed up in person.

Mr. Parsons had replaced Mr. Harrison as the head of the North Plains Territory Homestead Claims and Settlement Office about three months before we'd left on our survey trip. Since the Settlement Office had pushed for the college to start the wildlife survey right away, Professor Torgeson had sent him copies of her official report as soon as she'd finished it, even before cla.s.ses started in September. She had a few choice things to say about how long it had taken Mr. Parsons to get around to reading it.

Somewhat to my surprise, Mr. Parsons didn't only keep his temper; he actually apologized and said he'd been wrong to take so long to go over the professor's report. Then he asked to examine some of the stone specimens for himself. He and the professor ended up having a long conversation about the stones, and she even let him look at one through a microscope. After he left, she said he seemed fairly sensible, even if all he was interested in was the stone animals we'd brought back.

A few days later, Mr. Parsons came back. He had a map with him, with all the settlements marked. The ones that had failed were in red, and there was a big crosshatched area showing where the mirror bugs had eaten everything away. He and the professor spent most of the afternoon talking about the plants and wildlife we'd found and where we'd found them, and arguing over what it all meant.

I thought Professor Torgeson would be furious by the time he left, but she was actually rather pleased with herself. I figured that meant she'd won the argument, but she said that Mr. Parsons had suggested sending a group back out to Daybat Creek, where we'd found all the stone animals, to collect some more specimens for study. It wouldn't be a proper historical excavation, just collecting pieces that were easy to pick off the ground already, so that we'd have samples to send to all the people who were asking for them. The professor sounded half disapproving and half glad when she said that.

Then she asked whether I'd come along. "I'd be greatly pleased," I said after I got over being stunned at being asked. Then I paused. "Mama will fuss about me going out West again, especially so soon. It may take me a couple of days to talk her around."

Professor Torgeson smiled. "It will be good to have you along."

When I got home after work, I found Mama in the attic with Mrs. Callahan, pulling out bags and trunks. Neither one took any notice of me, so I went looking for Allie.

"Eff!" Allie said when she saw me. "Thank goodness. You'd better start packing; we don't know yet when the train will be leaving."

"Train?" I asked as Mrs. Callahan banged down the attic stairs with a carpet bag on each arm. "Leaving? Allie, what on earth a""

Allie muttered something under her breath. "That dratted boy didn't find you, did he? I knew I should have come to tell you myself. There's been a huge accident out at Lan's college. Lan and a bunch of other students were badly injured and one of them was killed."

"Lan's a" what happened? How bad is he hurt?"

"Bad enough for them to send for Papa and Mama straight off," Allie said grimly. "They're taking you, too, because you're twins. Papa's down at the train station now, making arrangements."

Right then Nan came flying in the door. "Allie! Eff! What's happened? Are Mama and Papa all right?"

"It's not Mama or Papa," Allie said. "It's Lan." She went over the whole thing once more, which gave it a little time to sink in. Nan and I both had a lot of questions, but Allie didn't really know much more than she'd already said. Finally, she went and got the telegraph message, so we could see for ourselves what it said. She was right; there weren't many particulars. All it said was Accident at Simon Magus. Lan Rothmer hurt bad with seven others, one dead so far. Advise come East now. Ziegler.

Allie told us that Mama and Papa had talked about waiting a day or two for the mail train to bring a letter with more details, but they'd decided that it would be better to head East right away. Papa said that Mr. Ziegler, the dean at Simon Magus College who'd sent the telegram, was a reliable person and wouldn't have told them to come all that way if he hadn't thought there was reason.

Finally, Nan and Allie went to the parlor to figure out who they'd need to tell and when to write them. Robbie would find out when he got home; there was no sense in sending someone out to look for him, because his cla.s.ses were done for the day and he was probably somewhere with his friends. They'd wait a day or two before they wrote Rennie and Jack; since both of them were out in the settlements and mail would be slow getting to them, it'd be best to have as many details as possible before writing them. I thought about writing William, but the letter would go East on the same train as we did, so it made more sense to wait in case there was more news. When Allie started in on who they'd need to tell at the college and at church and how soon, I told them to make sure Professor Jeffries and Professor Torgeson got told right off, and to leave Professor Torgeson's note for me to add a line to, because I wanted to say I was sorry I wouldn't be able to go on her specimen-collecting trip after all. Then I went up to pack.

I didn't think about writing to tell Mr. Boden at all.

CHAPTER.

20.

MRS. CALLAHAN HAD LEFT A CARPET BAG BY MY BED. I CRAMMED A few underthings and an extra skirt and blouse into it any which way, then after a moment added my good Sunday dress, just in case. I didn't really know what I'd need. I hadn't been back East since I was thirteen. The last thing I packed was the broken-winged stone bird I'd brought back from Daybat Creek, so I could show it to Lan when he recovered. If he recovered.

I couldn't think. Twice, I found myself standing in front of the wardrobe, holding the door open and staring at my clothes without really seeing them. There was a hard lump in the middle of my chest that wouldn't go away. I didn't even try to tell myself that Lan was sure to be all right. They wouldn't have sent for Mama and Papa so urgently if they thought there was a good likelihood of that.

Dinner was cold meat and bread and cheese that Mrs. Callahan laid out for us to grab as we rushed around finis.h.i.+ng things up so that we could leave the next day. I didn't sleep well that night; I don't think any of us did. Mama had dark circles under her eyes when we caught the train in the morning. Papa just looked tired and strained.

It was a long, quiet trip. Mama held tight to Papa's hand for the first few hours; then she held mine. She went back and forth like that for most of the trip. None of us said much. The train still took nearly two full days to get from Mill City to Philadelphia, so it was late in the afternoon when we finally got off at the platform on Broad Street. As we waited for the porter to finish unloading our baggage, a young man came up to Papa.

"Mr. Rothmer?" he said tentatively. He looked relieved when Papa nodded. "I don't know if you remember me, sir. I'm Nicolas Petrakis; we met when you came to New Amsterdam two years ago. Dean Ziegler got your telegram and sent me to watch for you."

"Mr. Petrakis," Papa said. "How is my son?" That told me just how tired and worried Papa was; normally, he'd have made himself introduce Mama and me first, no matter what.

"Lan's still a" Mr. Petrakis hesitated. "a unconscious. He's in the Philadelphia Hospital, and he has the best doctors in Philadelphia," he added hastily. "I can take you there now, or a""

"Take us there now," Mama said before he could finish.

Mr. Petrakis looked at her and nodded. He and Papa exchanged a few more words, then we loaded our bags onto the carriage he had waiting and drove straight to the hospital. Mr. Petrakis told us where Mr. Ziegler had arranged for us to stay, and took our bags on for us while we went in to see Lan.

We didn't actually get to see him that day. Lan was in a private room in the Surgery and Magical Injuries wing of the hospital, and the doctors all thought he was still in too delicate a condition to have visitors, even us, though they did say we could come back in the morning. Mama was all set to spend the night in the waiting room, but Papa said there was no point in all of us getting more exhausted than we already were. She still wouldn't leave until she got the hospital people to promise to send a message right away if there was any change in Lan's condition. It wasn't until we got to the hotel that we found out any more about how it had all happened.

Mr. Petrakis was waiting for us with two men and a dark-haired, dark-eyed woman about five or six years older than me. "Miriam!" Mama said when she saw them, and hurried forward.

"Frank will be here tomorrow," Miriam said. "He had some trouble finding someone to take over his patients." I realized she must be my oldest brother's wife. I'd never met her; Frank had gotten married while I was still in upper school, and only Mama and Papa had come East for the wedding. Now that he'd finally finished all of his schooling and his apprentices.h.i.+p, he was a full-fledged medical magician at the New Amsterdam State Hospital, and already pretty important. There weren't all that many folks who took time to learn both medical and magical healing.

Mama gave Miriam a hug, and then we had a round of introductions. The bearded, brown-haired man was Mr. Ziegler, the dean of Simon Magus College, and the stern, thin-lipped man with the dark hair was Professor Martin Lefevre. As soon as we finished being polite, we went off to one of the sitting rooms to talk, and of course the first thing Papa wanted to know was what had happened.

"As far as we can determine, Professor Warren was demonstrating a series of mid-level construction spells for his soph.o.m.ore cla.s.s in comparative magic, and something went wrong," Dean Ziegler said. "The injured students are a bit vague as to exactly what, but it is clear that Professor Warren lost control. Mr. Rothmer managed to protect his cla.s.smates; I firmly believe that it is due to his quick action that the only serious injuries were to himself and Professor Warren." He gave Papa a solemn look. "Your son is a hero, sir."

Professor Lefevre snorted. "He shouldn't have needed to be. I'll wager anything you please that Warren was messing about with some of that Hijero-Cathayan foolishness he was so fond of."

"Yes, well, we shouldn't speak ill of the dead," Dean Ziegler said. "And after all, one would expect him to pay some attention to Hijero-Cathayan spells in a cla.s.s on comparative magic."

"A talent such as young Mr. Rothmer's shouldn't have been wasted in that man's cla.s.ses in the first place," Professor Lefevre went on as if Dean Ziegler hadn't spoken.

"If Mr. Rothmer hadn't been there, this incident would likely have been far worse," Dean Ziegler pointed out. "In any case, I expect that he'll focus on more traditional forms of magic after this experience."

Papa asked for more details about the spell they thought had gone wrong, and the conversation got technical. I stopped listening and started thinking about what Dean Ziegler and Professor Lefevre had said. Lan had written quite a bit about Professor Warren in his letters, and most of it hadn't been complimentary. I wondered what Lan had thought of Professor Lefevre. I couldn't decide whether Lefevre just disliked Professor Warren, or maybe Hijero-Cathayan magic, or whether he was like all the other folks who made a fuss over Lan for being a double-seventh son.

We didn't talk for much longer. Mama and Papa and I were real tired from the train, and Mama wanted to be at the hospital early in the morning. As soon as the three men from the college left, we went up to our room and fell into bed.

Frank arrived sometime in the middle of the night; he and Miriam were waiting for us when we came down to breakfast in the morning. Having a doctor with us helped when we got to the hospital. Even though Frank didn't work there, the doctors were a lot more willing to tell him what they thought, and they even took him in to see Lan. When he came out, he said that Lan was still unconscious, but they expected him to wake up soon and we'd all be able to see him then. Meanwhile, they only let Mama and Papa in for a few minutes.

We spent the rest of the day at the hospital. Lan didn't wake that day, nor the day after. The doctors frowned more and spent even less time talking to us, even Frank. On top of that, the newspapers got hold of the story and went on about Lan being a double-seven and a hero and saving fifty people from a deadly rogue spell, even though Dean Ziegler told us that there were only eleven students and Professor Warren in the cla.s.sroom at the time and n.o.body outside had ever been in danger at all.

So Lan had letters and flowers and gifts piling up from people we didn't even know, as well as letters from all the family, even the cousins and second cousins that Mama and Papa hadn't told yet because there wasn't much to tell. Miriam and I were the ones who ended up answering the letters. Miriam took the huge stack from the people we didn't know at all, and I took the giant one from the family. When your father is a seventh son, and most of his brothers and sisters married, there are a lot of aunts and uncles and cousins, and that was on top of Sharl and Peter and Diane and Julie and all the rest of my older sisters and brothers who'd stayed in the East.

I didn't mind writing my brothers and sisters, but I wondered a bit about the rest of the family. Most of them hadn't liked me much when I was little, and I hadn't seen any of them since I was thirteen. The one letter I was sure about was the one to William. I'd written him the day we got to Philadelphia, to tell him what we knew about Lan. He'd written back right away a" a short note to Mama and Papa saying how sorry he was to hear it and that he trusted things would work out well and he hoped we'd let him know when they did. There was also a letter to me that was a lot less formal and polite.

I never really believed everything Lan said about Professor Warren, he wrote, but I guess he was right after all. I don't know why Lan was taking that cla.s.s, anyway a" he doesn't have the temperament for Hijero-Cathay an magic. Write if you need to, but don't feel as if you have to. You have more important things to do right now.

I wrote him back right away, even though he'd said not to. It was the one letter I really wanted to answer. All the well-wis.h.i.+ng from other people was a nice distraction some of the time, but it got real wearing after a while, especially since we still didn't know if Lan would be all right. Writing William was a comfort, because I didn't have to watch what I said or pretend I was sure everything would be fine.

Pretending everything would be fine got harder and harder as the days went by and Lan didn't wake up. The doctors still wouldn't let us see him, except for Frank, and Mama and Papa for just a few minutes a day. Finally, five days after we arrived, Mama cornered Frank.

"I'd appreciate some more information," she told him, in that tone that said he'd better fess up right now, or else.

Frank sighed. "Mother a""