The Shades Of Time And Memory Part 43

Tyson screwed up his nose. 'No, we can't. It's a mad idea. We don't have enough control.'

'What are you talking about?' Cal asked.

'You'd better tell him,' Moon said. 'Perhaps he can help us.'

Cal listened to the story of the previous night's events carefully. He did not interrupt. At the end of it, Tyson laughed uncertainly and said, 'so, what do you think of that?'

'I think,' Cal said, 'that you performed a rather bizarre method of contraception.'

'But reality changed,' Tyson said, 'like it does for Kamagrian and hara.'

'Conception is like that,' Cal said. 'I know, because I experienced it when Terzian and I conceived you. I'm not sure ending it so abruptly was the right thing to do. You must let me examine you, Moon.'

'But we didn't want a pearl,' Moon said, instinctively drawing up his legs against his chest. 'It wasn't intended, and conceptions don't happen any other way, do they?'

'Tell that to your friend, Aleeme,' Cal said. 'You and Ty clearly have intense feelings for one another, and the fact that you've applied a weird kind of Tantric discipline to the slow fire of your mutual desire is obviously what opened the seal. I doubt it will happen again. I doubt even more that you can use this phenomenon to access the otherlanes. How I wish you could!' He put a hand on Tyson's shoulder. 'I'm glad you two have got over your difficulties. At least something good is happening.'

'So, we do nothing about Aleeme,' Moon said. 'We just wait. And then we might be too late.'

'I didn't say that. I just need to think about it.' Cal sighed. 'There is something else...'

'What?' Tyson asked.

Cal glanced at Moon. 'Your hura-brother Abrimel has allied with Ponclast. It's not exactly widely advertised, but Kyrotates knows.'

'He told you a lot,' Tyson said.

'He did. He is an anxious har. And I used my wiles on him. I doubt he'll even remember much of what he told me, but I left him happy. It was the least I could do.'

'Do the Gelaming know about Abrimel?' Moon asked.

'Kyrotates doesn't know that. I will visit him again, but I'll have to be careful. He's no fool. The next time we meet, I won't be able to question him in the same way. Now the haze is deteriorating. We can speak on this no more. You had better get ready for work. Any chance of breakfast, Ty? I need to eat.'

Tyson went out into the courtyard to rebuild the fire, while Cal insisted on examining Moon's body. 'There doesn't appear to be a great deal of harm done,' he said. 'But don't ever do that again, Moon. There are ways you can end aruna when you feel that kind of fire building up. Don't wait until the last minute and tear yourselves apart.'

'At the time, it felt as if it was meant to be,' Moon said. 'It felt so right. Then I just knew what was happening, and I also knew it was something neither of us wanted not then.'

'I told Ty to train you. Clearly, he is not doing a very good job. I can advise you both. We will speak later.'

Cal went outside to help Tyson and Moon sat with his chin resting on his knees for some minutes before dressing himself. He thought Cal was missing something. There was more to what had happened the previous night than it appeared. He just wished he knew what it was.

Chapter Thirty-Six.

Pellaz decided that what he did with Galdra was Grissecon rather than aruna. It didn't involve love or antic.i.p.ation, or guilt or heat. Emotions had to be put aside. It was easier that way.

On the evening following his strange discovery of an unmapped inner world, after a long day's ride with his mind in turmoil, Pellaz met again with Tharmifex and Ashmael in his pavilion. He invited nohar else to the meeting, not even Galdra. The pavilion smelled musty to Pellaz, as if a trace of his aruna with Galdra clung to its fabric. He sat on the edge of his bed and couldn't stop thinking of himself lying there with Galdra inside him. Sometimes, when he thought this, Galdra had Cal's face.

Tharmifex and Ashmael were oblivious to Pell's inner wrangling. Perhaps they couldn't see it. Ashmael would never feel like this. His life included a string of conquests: a trail of sad ghosts, blue beside the roadside, who wondered what they'd done wrong. Ashmael went cold on hara very easily. As for Tharmifex, he was a contained individual, who appeared never to have been young, although like all hara he was incapable of looking old. He had a chesnari at home, who other hara rarely saw. Pellaz doubted the word chesna could really apply to Tharmifex. If Pellaz should speak his mind now and reveal the chewed up contents of his heart, both Tharmifex and Ashmael would look confused; they wouldn't understand a word of what he said. They were, however, extremely interested in what Pellaz had learned about the cauldron of creation. So he talked about that, as if it was a real place, and to get there didn't involve walking a path that was strewn with jewels and sharp stones. Ashmael was especially excited when Pellaz told him Lileem had mentioned his discovery could, in some way, be used as a weapon.

'It will be similar to what Swift and Seel did the last time we took on Fulminir,' Ashmael said, 'except you will have the might of dehara such as Aruhani and Agave behind you. You must experiment with this phenomenon intensively. By the time we get to Fulminir, you have to be able to wield this power properly.'

'We must conduct a formal Grissecon,' Tharmifex said. 'I'm sorry, Pell. I hope that isn't distasteful to you, but we should observe the phenomenon, tune into it, seek an objective view. I also think that the next time you attempt this procedure, experienced hara, including Nahir Nuri, should be in attendance.'

'Who do you want present?' Pellaz said. His voice sounded like a clear, cool stream in his own ears, when it should be a squeak or a shriek. He felt himself being Tigron, this functional thing that had no heart. He wished Rue was with him.

'Ourselves, obviously,' Tharmifex said, 'and Velaxis, if you have no objection. Also the Kakkahaar. Perhaps even the Kamagrian, Tel-an-Kaa, because of the parage Lileem's involvement. What do you think?'

Pellaz nodded slowly. 'Very well. I would like Vaysh and Terez to be with us too.'

'Of course. What about tomorrow night?'

'I'll tell Galdra.'

Tharmifex hesitated. 'Pell, I'm sure you know the Hegemony's opinion of Galdra. Your experiences with him have confirmed our hopes concerning his potential. I want you to think about the future. I know this might not be the right time, but events are moving quickly. Galdra is with you. Cal is not. You and the Freyh.e.l.lan are achieving wondrous things together. He could be Tigron.'

'Galdra does not seek that position,' Pellaz said. 'I'm not sure I'd want it for him either, whatever the circ.u.mstances. You are right. Now is not the time to talk about it.'

'At least the matter is out in the open,' Tharmifex said. 'I hope you'll give it some consideration.'

'I will.'

Once Ashmael and Tharmifex had left, Pellaz put his face in his hands and sat that way for half an hour.

The Grissecon took place in a woodland glade some miles from camp. Ashmael placed heavy security around the area, so that no curious hara could observe the event. The evening was warm and the presence of the forest very close, as if unseen spirits were drawn to the spot to witness what would happen. Tall ancient oaks stood watchfully over the proceedings.

Tel-an-Kaa had agreed to be present, since Pellaz had explained to her that Lileem was involved. 'It does not surprise me,' Tel-an-Kaa said, 'Lileem was always destined to do something extraordinary. What would you like me to do to help?'

'Simply be present and alert,' Pellaz said. 'Be open to subtle nuances in the ether. It's possible Lileem might make contact again.'

'I'll do what I can. This Grissecon business is...' she smiled, '... all very new to me.'

'I hope it won't discomfort you,' Pellaz said. 'To be honest, it's new to me too.'

'Are you sure you want me there?'

Pellaz sighed deeply. 'No. The thought of an audience does not delight me. But it makes sense. I'm sure once we're in the ritual, it'll be different.' He hoped.

Of course, Lileem's connection with the proceedings was also of great interest to Herien and Rarn har Kakkahaar. Herien asked if they might attend the Grissecon, and Pellaz hadn't the heart to refuse him. At Tharmifex's suggestion, Lianvis would lead the ceremony, no doubt in typically flamboyant Kakkahaar style, with Herien and Rarn acting as his officials.

Just before sundown, everyhar gathered at the designated site, where Lianvis manipulated the energy in the environment to create a temporary Nayati. The witnesses stood around him in a circle, adding their intention to his.

Throughout the day, Pellaz had wondered whether he and Galdra would be able to repeat the experiment in front of observers, especially those who were little more than strangers to him. They would have to adopt the traditional postures of Grissecon, which created an experience very different to the relaxed spontaneity of natural aruna. Pellaz knew hara performed these public ceremonies all the time and he'd witnessed quite a lot of them himself, but he still found it difficult to imagine that soon he'd be doing it himself. He didn't really know what Galdra thought about it, because he hadn't asked. Galdra had simply agreed to take part because Pellaz wanted him to. But, despite his avowals of unconditional love, Pellaz wondered whether Galdra saw the Grissecon, performed in front of high-ranking Gelaming, as a way to stake a legitimate claim on the Tigron. Now, as Pellaz stood at the edge of the circle, wearing only a light Kakkahaar cloak around his body, he imagined a moment in the future, which he feared would come too quickly. He saw Galdra at his side in the Hegalion, their union signed and sealed. And Cal would not come, because he never did, not when he was needed.

Pellaz was jolted back into the present by the arrival of Tel-an-Kaa at the site. She gave him a smile that was full of kindness and understanding. Her being was geared towards soume far more than hara like Ashmael and Tharmifex could ever even imagine. Pellaz was sure she picked up on some of his confusion, and understood only too well its cause. He wondered how she would feel having to view the intimate procedure of Grissecon. The Kamagrian were far more private about aruna than Wraeththu were.

Ten minutes before the opening ceremony was about to begin, Lianvis approached Pellaz and Galdra, carrying two small pottery flasks. 'Pellaz, you look tense,' he said.

'I'm fine,' Pellaz said, but he could tell from Lianvis' expression that the Kakkahaar could see right through him.

Lianvis held out the flasks. 'This is a Kakkahaar narcotic,' he said. 'We use it often for Grissecon. Drink it and I promise you that you'll forget about the rest of us in seconds!'

Pellaz drank it gratefully, only the desire for oblivion giving him the strength of stomach not to vomit it back up immediately.

Galdra took his share and grimaced. 'You make this from ground up corpses, don't you!' he said, handing his flask back to Lianvis.

'Only human ones,' Lianvis answered, deadpan.

Pellaz couldn't help but laugh at the expression on Galdra's face. 'He's joking,' Pellaz said. Then paused. 'You are joking, aren't you, Lianvis?'

The Kakkahaar smiled. 'Relax; let it do its work'.

After only a few minutes, a tide of tranquil well-being coursed through Pell's mind and body. He was hardly conscious of anyhar but Galdra and himself. Lianvis' potion had smothered all the hot, itchy and uncomfortable feelings in Pell's heart. All he wanted to do now was go back to the new realm he had discovered. He was no longer remotely self-conscious.

The Kakkahaar uttered the final invocations to create the ritual s.p.a.ce, and Lianvis gestured for Pellaz and Galdra to come forward into the centre of the circle. Pellaz took off his cloak and handed it to Herien, as did Galdra. Pellaz could feel how chill the night air was, yet it was not uncomfortable. His body was hot. He and Galdra went the centre and sat crossed legged opposite each other. They joined hands and concentrated on connecting their natural energy. The circle of witnesses chanted softly and rhythmically and Pellaz could feel the vibration of it swirling round them, enclosing them in a cone of power. The witnesses were no longer separate individuals, but simply a s.h.i.+eld of protection.

Through intention alone, Pellaz made himself soume and Galdra made himself ouana. When they were ready, Pellaz lowered himself into Galdra's lap. Galdra felt icy inside him, burning with a cold fire. He opened the soume energy centres one by one: it was almost effortless. When the sixth opened, Pellaz was filled with the vision of an iris-like door spinning open, and he was sucked right through it. This time, he made sure to hook his will around Galdra's essence and drag him with him.

Stay with me! he hissed in Galdra's mind. Don't wander.

It was not a place of darkness. Pellaz found himself in a temple of radiance. He realised that Galdra was within him. They were sharing an etheric body.

What is this place? Galdra asked.

I don't know. It's different. It's supposed to be the cauldron of creation. Lileem said I should call upon a dehar, and my instinct would be to call for Aruhani or Agave, as Ash suggested. But this is not a temple to either of them. It's more like Miyacala's.

Then change it.

Or maybe I should call on Miyacala.

They were surrounded by impossibly tall columns of a glittering crystalline substance that pulsed with rings of energy. Ahead, was a vague suggestion of a flight of steps, although it was difficult to perceive things properly. Pellaz walked towards the steps and it seemed to take an eternity to reach them, as if they drew away from him as he approached them. He formed the shape of Miyacala's name in his mind and then the steps zoomed towards him, gathered him up, and he was running up them, into another eternity.

You were right, Galdra said.

At the top of the steps was a platform, in the centre of which was a tall golden tripod. Steam or incense curled up from the shallow dish it supported. The floor appeared to be constructed of opal tiles. Shuddering drapes framed the platform, hiding whatever lay beyond it from view.

Pellaz stood before the tripod and raised his arms. I call upon the dehar, Miyacala, master of initiation and of the mysteries. Miyacala, I command you to come to us now! Bring us the light of your knowledge. Astale Miyacala! Extend your hand. Astale!

An intense white flame spurted up from the golden bowl, then subsided. Once it had died down, Pellaz saw a tall form standing opposite him on the other side of the tripod. His long platinum hair hung around him like a cloak. His eyes were white orbs, but a star blazed upon his forehead. He raised his left hand and a star blazed there also.

Greetings, Miyacala. Pellaz bowed to the dehar respectfully.

Greetings to you, Pellaz har Aralis and to you also, Galdra har Freyh.e.l.la. You are welcome in the Nayati of Initiation. You are expected here.

Are you akin to the sedim, Miyacala? Now, Pellaz and Galdra spoke with one voice. There was no division between them.

No, the dehara are of Wraeththu. We are yours and you are ours, yet there is no owners.h.i.+p. We are not of the powers beyond. We are your ultimate potential, for you created us.

We have need of your brethren, Aruhani and Agave.

They are aware of this need. They await your word, once you pa.s.s beyond this threshold. You need all of us. We are all soume, we are all ouana. We are warriors and mystics. We are seers and kings. We are healers and a.s.sa.s.sins. Lunil of the blue fire wields the power of the lunar sphere of every realm. Aruhani is the destroyer and the creator. Agave is the flame of many suns. I am the light of knowledge, the truth of all matters, before which hara of unlighted minds would lose their sanity.

Will you grant us initiation, Miyacala?

That is my function in this instance. The dehar reached into one of his sleeves and drew forth a crystal blade that danced with sparks of light. Come to me. A new inception.

Miyacala extended his left arm, pulling back the sleeve of his robe, and cut himself with the blade. Pellaz approached the dehar, who was several feet taller than he was. A milky, glowing substance dripped from the wound in Miyacala's arm. To Pellaz, it appeared much like the combined essence of two hara after aruna. He held out his arm. Miyacala took it and drew the blade down the inner forearm. Its touch was incredibly cold, as Galdra's ouana-lim had felt earlier, but it did not hurt. Shockingly red blood sprang from the cut, and splashed down upon the opaline floor. Miyacala took Pell's arm and pressed the wounds together. Pellaz could feel the glacier burn of the dehar's essence pouring into him. He could feel it transforming him.

Then he was rus.h.i.+ng through a vortex, bodiless, no more than a ball of energy. Impossible scenes flashed past: cyclopean cities of obsidian stone, impenetrable abysses, endless oceans of liquid metal. Pellaz wanted to cry out in stark terror but had no voice. He knew these sights. He had seen them before, at the time when his first physical body had died and his soul had been sucked through the ethers at Thiede's command.

Don't be afraid.

Galdra's presence.

I am dead.

We are not. Ride it, Pellaz. Make it yours. Follow me.

I will.

Galdra looked deep into the magical myths of his hara and plucked from them an image he liked. Now, they were a winged being, soaring between immense cliffs. Their wings beat monstrously, slowly, with great power. Pellaz had never felt such a sense of freedom and strength. They had no arms, only batlike wings, but long legs they held out behind them, which terminated in birdlike claws rather than feet. They had a tail, like a lion's. They flew towards a golden light, which as they drew nearer, illuminated a landscape of marvellous beauty. In some ways it was stark, just barren black rocks and cliffs, but the pure b.u.t.tery radiance transformed it. There was a huge stepped pyramid ahead of them and they alighted on the platform at its summit.

In the center of the platform was a square opening in the floor, where steps could be seen leading downward. Pellaz and Galdra began to descend them. The walls on either side of them were veined with searing gouts of dark red light. The air was warm and smelled of cloves and frankincense. They had entered the temple of Aruhani.

The dehar awaited them in a garden at the bottom of the steps. Impossibly, it was open to the air, even though it was in the centre of the pyramid. Pellaz had never beheld, even in his wildest visualizations, so strange a garden. The plants were of the darkest hues: indigo, black and crimson. Fleshy flowers, the size of cartwheels, exuded a perfume of jasmine and rot. Thorned vines snaked across the black earth beneath their feet, writhing like serpents.

Aruhani sat cross-legged upon an altar of jet. He was of normal harish size: a beautiful creature with black skin, whose only garment was his abundant braided hair that covered him like a shawl. The soles of his feet were dyed red with ochre. He did not speak, but held Pellaz with a smoking gaze. Pellaz was silenced in the dehar's presence. His power was primal, far more unnerving than Miyacala's. Where Miyacala was thought and knowledge, Aruhani was pure feeling and instinct. He was the harish equivalent of the darkest of the mother G.o.ddesses of ancient human cultures. As Pellaz watched, Aruhani uncrossed his legs. Multi-coloured vapour steamed out of his soume-lam. In this way, he gave birth to his brothers, Lunil and Agave, who took on solid form and stood beside the altar, the dehara of the blue and red fire.

We are with you....

Pellaz had no time to commune properly with these incredible beings, for the scene exploded before his eyes, shards of colour flying past and through him. In moments, he was back in the real world, shaking against Galdra's chest, sweat pouring off him, his head aching like a cauldron of destruction never mind creation.

Lianvis came forward with Herien, both carrying cloaks, which they draped around the bodies of Pellaz and Galdra. Pellaz lifted his head to thank them, but the words were silenced in his throat.

Beyond the circle of hara, Pellaz saw immense shadowy forms. Fifteen feet high, their arms crossed over their b.r.e.a.s.t.s, but carrying weapons of war: dehara. More than four, a myriad. Galdra saw them too, Pellaz could tell. The witnesses stood with closed eyes, perhaps still lost in the last wisps of visualization, perhaps as a mark of respect to those who had conducted the Grissecon. It seemed they did not perceive the incredible throng around them.

'We brought them through with us,' Galdra said softly.

'Who needs mysterious allies from another realm?' Pellaz said. 'Galdra, we can make our own.'