The Exception: A Novel Part 33

She cant tell how much time has pa.s.sed when she discovers that her head has cleared a little. She is still lying on the sofa, but now she feels able to phone Henrik to ask if he can pick up the children today.

Without moving the rest of her body, Anne-Lise reaches out and takes the phone off the hook.

She can hear voices. Has Henrik come home while she was resting? Since her car isnt parked outside he wouldnt know that she is home already.

It is Henrik. At first she cant grasp what hes talking about. The other voice belongs to Nils, Henriks brother. She wants to say something but has an awkward moment trying to turn the phone around.

as if I havent told her that a hundred times already. To tell you the truth, its all been very tough going.

Nils sounds sympathetic. Henrik, I believe you.

A pause, but Anne-Lise is so baffled that she cant think of anything to say. What are they talking about?

But have you thought of speaking to her doctor? Nils adds.

We saw him together. And we agreed afterward to do what he advised. It went well. But shes refusing to see him again.

Nils sounds more serious than Anne-Lise had ever thought possible.

Henrik, you can always phone me. Remember that. And you can always drop by to talk to us, anytime. Stay the night if you like.

Henriks voice is dull. Well. Thanks. But there are the children.

Everything filters slowly through her headache.

She screams.

She runs.

She cannot endure the living room now but doesnt know where she wants to be. Shes in the hall but cant stand it there either.

Henriks footsteps are on the floor upstairs.

Anne-Lise runs around as a rush of thoughts overwhelms her.

Why should I have believed that they could bear to live with me? Im bursting with evil thoughts. All the time! How Ive kidded myself! Theyll have to move out. No, Ill have to move. They can have the house. Ill go away.

Henrik catches up with her in the kitchen. She has collapsed. He shouts: I didnt say anything bad about you! I didnt!

But now the rapist in the red tracksuit leaps out from between the tall rushes. He strikes me. He gets out his small black razor. He holds it against my neck and forces me into the bushes.

Henrik shouts: Anne-Lise, dont! Dont!

I must hit my face as hard as I can. I deserve to be punished because Im a horrible wife. Im a bad, bad mother.

The rapists pimpled face is grinning at me. I can see his small pointy teeth.

Henrik is holding my hand in his. I can hit myself with the other hand. He tries to grab it too, loses his balance, and falls over me. His belly on my head. His elbow between my legs.

He shouts: Anne-Lise, stop it! Stop!

He holds me around the chest. He has clamped my arms so I cant move them. He presses his cheek to mine. His mouth is close to my ear.

Hit Malene! Shes the one you should hit, not yourself. And Iben! Not yourself. Them!

iben.

chapter 34.

Something glitters on the wall at the other end of the hut when it catches the feeble light of the oil lamp. It is the sh.e.l.l of a dead beetle. At first Iben thought the creature was alive, but time has pa.s.sed since then.

For thirty-five hours or thereabouts she has been looking at the s.h.i.+ny black sh.e.l.l of the beetle. She has touched it and then tried to sc.r.a.pe it free from the walls cementlike mixture of mud and cow s.h.i.+t.

Iben is the only one of the prisoners who hasnt thrown up. She is only suffering from the diarrhea and the fever. Under normal circ.u.mstances they would never have touched the water in the hut, which is kept in calabashes and old plastic bottles.

One of the hostage takers is called Omoro. He has come along to crouch by her several times, asked her if she is very ill, and prayed for her to get better soon.

Through the fever haze she has heard him argue again and again that it was essential to capture them. His tribe must chase the SEC out of the slums of Kibera.

No one contradicts him but still he repeats himself. Look, we are not criminals. That is not what we are! He sounds unhappy.

Iben cant make out his features in the darkness.

Omoro is the man with the machine gun who sat next to the driver in the SECs white truck. Now that he is walking about she notes that he is tall and well built. The lower part of one of his ears is missing.

The fever makes it hard for Iben to think of a reply to his insistent questioning.

Please, can you not see that we are right to do this?

She watches the lamplight flicker across the blade of the knife that rests across his thighs. An awful stench fills the enclosed darkness of the hut. The hostage takers wont let their prisoners out except when they have to go in the muddy trench just outside the door and, with the sickness, all four hostages are having to go several times an hour. Roberto doesnt always get there in time. Once he didnt even get up off the mud floor he was too weak but tried to clean up after himself with a handful of straw. There are more flies and insects crawling about in his corner than anywhere else.

They all s.h.i.+ver, because the night is cold and they are wearing only their T-s.h.i.+rts and trousers. Soon the sun will rise and its furious heat will make the air in the hut even denser.

Iben is lying on her side. She is very still, but now and then she stretches out her index finger and pushes at the beetle, as if it were a b.u.t.ton and pressing it could stop something from happening. She knows that the others are awake too, but none of them speaks.

She has never felt fear like this. It is not like a sudden shock, a pa.s.sing state. The hostages could be taken out and shot in five minutes, or in ten, or in fifteen. Half a night has pa.s.sed, but the shots might still be fired at any time. Nothing changes. There is no letup in the awareness of danger, only increasing fear.

The fever makes Iben limp and exhausted, but even so, she only manages to sleep for short breaks. The others have had a worse time of it, though. Yesterday she had to clear away what Roberto had thrown up when he was groggy with fever. It seems that the Luos regard her as stronger than the rest and now they turn to her when they need to address the captives.

What does this mean for her chances of survival?

Four other aid workers from another section of SEC had been taken not that long ago. The negotiations to free them had ground to a halt and the hostage takers decided to shoot one of their prisoners, and then one more, before they agreed to let the other two go.

Who from their group would the Luos pick first? Would it be the prisoner whom they regarded as the strongest?

But she couldnt have left Roberto to lie there in his own vomit. Something had to be done. They all have to keep drinking because they are losing fluid fast, but it has meant that their only alternative to thirst is to continually boost their gut infections.

She washed the vomit off his face and helped him out of the hut when he had to go out to the trench. Cathy and Mark, who are partners back home in Illinois, held each other close all through the first evening, whispering how much they loved each other. Now they lie apart without moving, staring into the air or at the wall. Iben isnt sure how ill they really are. Their stillness could be a strategy theyve worked out to keep the guards from getting angry with them. On the other hand, it could be instinctive. Shock and fear might have paralyzed them, not illness.

Iben must have slept after all, because the next time she looks at the doorway, light glimmers around the edges of the cloth covering. The windowless hut is always filled with darkness. Only the s.p.a.ces around the cloth allow air in. The shafts of sunlight hurt their eyes whenever someone pushes the cloth aside to get to the latrine.

They hear men walking past the hut. Many men.

Their movements seem calm and n.o.body is shouting, so presumably the huddle of dwellings is not under attack.

None of the prisoners has said out loud When will they kill us? or Who will be killed first?

From the beginning, Iben has thought that they will hold back from killing the hostages they like best, which means its important to build a personal relations.h.i.+p with as many of them as quickly as possible. The trouble is, it is hard to seem congenial to a gang of hostage takers when you are weakened by diarrhea, fear, and lack of sleep.

The men out there are singing hymns.

The prisoners eyes were covered when they were driven to this place, but on her trips to the trench Iben has calculated that their hut is part of a group housing about twenty people. All of them seem to be men. There are definitely no children.

Iben recognizes many of the hymns from her fathers two LPs, sung by an English church choir. He played them every Christmas.

They sing harmonies in their deep voices, sounding surprisingly organized, as if a conductor were leading them. Iben decides to join in their singing. At the end of each hymn, she repeats one of the verses loudly. She wants to make sure that the men outside can hear her.

It works. She had felt certain religion would be their soft spot.

Now Odhiambo, one of the guards who wasnt present at the hostage taking in Nairobi, comes in to fetch her. They dont want to prevent a believer in Jesus from taking part in their service.

Iben hasnt eaten for more than twenty-four hours, but she doesnt feel hungry. Her fever is going down a little. She is strong enough to walk straight, even though her legs still feel shaky, and if she squints her eyes she can stand the piercing sunlight.

She is outside. A warm wind flutters in her filthy clothes. The smells are not like the stench of the hut. Here is light to see by. Here are colors and trees.

The men have formed a loose circle. These fifteen or so men should care a little more for her once this service is at an end. They start singing again.

Cross of Jesus, cross of sorrow, Where the blood of Christ was shed, Perfect Man on Thee did suffer, Perfect G.o.d on Thee has bled!

O mysterious condescending!

O abandonment sublime!

Very G.o.d himself is bearing All the sufferings of time!

Iben can smell the bush around them. It smells of dry, crumbling wood.

She steals a quick glance at the Luo mens weaponry. They all seem to have machine guns as well as knives and all within reach. They must fear an attack from outside the village, because they cant possibly think any of their prisoners has the strength to fight off the guards and run away into the wilderness?

An older man leads both the singing and the reading of lessons. He wears black nylon trousers and a chain around his neck with an amulet knot.

Perhaps illness has weakened Iben, because the sound of these grave, wors.h.i.+pful voices touches a raw nerve and the singing moves her deeply.

Frail children of dust, and feeble as frail, In Thee do we trust, nor find Thee to fail.

Or is it because she has been forced to stay in the dark for so long? She manages to blink the tears away from her eyes. Something has gripped her, perhaps a combination of the singing, the words, and being able to look far into the distance.

Maybe these baobab trees are the last natural thing I will ever see, she thinks.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free Thine own from Satans tyranny; From depths of h.e.l.l Thy people save, And give them victory over the grave.

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

The prayers between the hymns are more difficult to follow, but Iben mumbles her own words in Danish. Here, outside in the light, she can see how depressed the men are. No one knows how this will end. After all, two of their friends have already died.

The moment the service is finished, Iben begins to speak warmly about the injustices done to the Luo tribe. Thinking ahead, she had reasoned that this would be her best chance of being allowed to remain outside for a while. And, maybe, to get to talk to someone.

Five of the men gather around her. They all agree and work themselves up into quite a state. Having to take hostages to make their point troubles them. Iben asks Omoro directly if he was a friend of the driver who died yesterday.

Yes. She asks about the friends.h.i.+p.

The others are still listening. Iben tries to be genuinely amicable toward all of them. She feels herself turn white, but perhaps they wont notice. If the men know whats good for them they will pack her off to the hut again. Letting her get this far shows how inexperienced they are.

Iben remembers that the first time the Hamburg reservists were ordered to kill the inhabitants in a small Jewish town, each man in the battalion had to escort one Jew to the place of execution in the forest. Once there, he had to shoot the prisoner and then return to get another Jew. These minutes alone with the victim, walking along the forest path, maybe exchanging a few words, were enough to make it much harder to kill, and many had given up. Others were plagued by terrible nightmares afterward.

The battalion officers quickly learned to plan the killings differently. At later ma.s.sacres, the soldiers never had a moment alone with the Jews. The rule was to make the victims seem like one large, anonymous horde. The German concentration camps were run on the same principle. Shaved, starved, and filthy, the prisoners were bound to be less unsettling to the German camp staff because the inmates seemed not quite human, and this made it that much easier for the camp guards to get on with their work.

Iben knows full well that the brief interlude outside the hut has made it that much harder for these men to kill her. For the moment she feels satisfied with herself.

A short, gray-haired man with scars across his cheeks comes up to her. He says something in Dhuluo that might well mean that she must go back into the hut. Odhiambo says something in reply. What he says includes the name Phillip, and at the mention of this name the scarred man glances quickly at Iben to check if she has noticed.

Iben knows the importance of keeping her expression blank. Phillip is an unusual name for a Luo, which makes it easy to work out that they are discussing Dalmas Phillip. Although a fairly minor Luo chief, he is much talked about as one of the most active fighters against the Nubians. He is also said to have raped many Nubian women, despite being more than sixty years old.

Iben finds it impossible to completely hide her reaction. The man registers the instant s.h.i.+ft in her face. It ruins everything. They cant let her live if she knows the ident.i.ty of the leader of the whole hostage operation. Iben is suddenly aware of how tired and weak she is. She slips back into the darkness of the hut and, curling up in her place, she cries.

Cathy mumbles words of comfort, but Iben senses a new reserve among her three fellow prisoners. Of course they too can see that the risk of being first in line for execution increases for them the better Iben gets along with the men outside. But then, what can they say? Iben could easily argue that a good relations.h.i.+p with the guards could very well save all of them.

Cathy keeps repeating that they will make it, they will survive. It is the same mantra that Iben has been repeating to herself endlessly over the last two days.

Meanwhile Iben has worked out a twist to the scenario. If the Luos simply wanted to drive the SEC out of Kibera, shooting in the general direction of aid workers would have been quite enough. Considerations of employee security would be sufficient reason to make them close their local office. The Luos risky decision to kidnap four SEC workers might mean that they want much more. The leaders of the operation may well be angling for a large ransom payment, for instance. And Omoro, Odhiambo, and the others would almost certainly know nothing about it. In any case, the SEC would never give in because the result would only lead to more kidnappings and, in the long term, cost more lives.

Iben hasnt told the others of her suspicions, but now she cannot resist telling them that the guards know that she recognized the name of Dalmas Phillip.

This silences Cathy.

Iben tries to rest on her patch of uneven hardened mud. She scratches at the beetles back and tries to make herself dream about Denmark. A muscle in her stomach cramps. It isnt painful, but her entire abdomen twitches.

Only three years earlier she was an ordinary student. At this time of day shed have been sitting at home reading. A smell comes back to her, the scent of printers ink and coffee that filled the rooms of her female friends when they met to discuss books.

Cathys voice pulls her out of her dream. Look, SEC will have to get in touch with our emba.s.sies. And if the diplomats threaten to stop development aid, then all of a sudden Arap Moi and the police will be on our side. And then theyll find us. The oil lamp is close enough to Cathy to illuminate the imprint on her cheek of the rough floor. And when the police come to free us and attack everyone out there, it wont matter if you know about Dalmas Phillip.