Let Me Be The One Part 4

"Did he hurt you, Vicki?"

She shook her head, but wouldn't meet his eyes. "I made a big mistake with Anthony by focusing on him instead of moving my own career forward. I'm not going to be stupid enough to let a relations.h.i.+p sidetrack me again." She shrugged as though it was all just water under the bridge. "I'm fine, really. Chalk it up to being young and stupid."

"This is me you're talking to," he told her in an echo of what she'd said to him a few minutes earlier. "Just because we didn't see each other for too many years doesn't mean I didn't think about you all the time. I'm still your friend and you can still tell me anything."

"I know. It's just-" She licked her lips and took a breath. "I'm not trying to hide things from you, Ryan. Especially after what you did for me tonight. Ask me anything and I promise I'll answer. Better than I have so far."

d.a.m.n it, he didn't want to hurt her more by opening up old wounds. "Tell me about your sculptures. What are you working on right now?"

The relief on her face was palpable and even though he knew there was more to the story with her ex-way the h.e.l.l more, and most of it likely to p.i.s.s him off and make him want to hunt the guy down-Ryan was glad when the darkness left her eyes.

"I've been working on a piece called Overflow. I don't know if you remember, but I was always so inspired by water. How it feels. How it moves. The way light and color play off it."

Some of his favorite memories as a teenager were of the two of them going hiking out along the wetlands at night. No matter how cold it was outside, Vicki always had to put her hands in the water. He'd known just how much she'd love his view of the ocean, and he'd always hoped he'd get a chance to show it to her in person.

He scooted his chair back and reached for her hand to pull her off the bar stool and out the French doors in his living room. "Of course I remember. Which is why I'm taking you outside to catch the last of the sunset on the beach."

He grabbed a thick, oversized beach towel from a storage container on the deck and headed down the stairs after her. She'd kicked off her heels on the deck, and her bare feet and legs were gorgeous as she made her way down the staircase from his house to the beach below. When she got to the bottom, she gave a happy sigh.

"I love the feel of sand between my toes."

It was the most natural thing in the world to wrap his arms around her from behind. She was stiff for a moment, before she finally relaxed into him and leaned her head back against his chest.

"This is what I've been working on," she said softly. "I've been trying to sculpt water."

"Sounds amazing."

"More like crazy, but I can't stop wanting to do it anyway."

The wind blew the ends of her hair against his face and the sun was just falling behind the waterline. In that moment Ryan wanted her more than he ever had, with her soft curves in his arms, her pa.s.sion for her art pulsing just as strong as her heart beating beneath his forearms.

"I can't wait to see it."

"It doesn't look like much yet. Just a bunch of blobs I'm hoping it will actually come together at the end. Cross your fingers for me, will you?"

He could feel her being pulled toward the ocean and said, "Go do it already. I know you're dying to get your hands into the water."

She laughed as she pulled him toward the surf. The wind blew her dress against her figure and he was pretty sure he'd embarra.s.s both of them when she finally noticed the effect she was having on him.

"You're the only one who doesn't think I'm weird for doing this."

She hissed as she walked into the cold water, but it didn't stop her from bending down to put her hands into it.

Ryan had already taken off his shoes in the house, but he didn't bother rolling up his jeans before moving beside her and doing the same thing.

"I guess that makes both of us weird, then. Because I've done it ever since, you know."

It had been a way to remember her at first, but then he'd realized she was right: The water did feel different every single time.

She shot him a surprised look before looking down at his hands and saying, "Funny, I never really thought about the fact that both of us use our hands for our jobs."

Under the water, he reached for her and took her hand in his. Her eyes met his in surprise, but she didn't pull back. Instead, she closed her eyes and he knew she was taking in the way their connection changed how the water moved around both of them.

It was one of the best sunsets he'd ever seen, but Ryan couldn't tear his eyes away from Vicki. He stroked his thumb across her palm and she s.h.i.+vered.

Too soon, she slid her hand out of his.

"My hands and feet are numb already," was her excuse as she moved away from him to head for dry land.

He'd dropped the towel onto the sand when they'd arrived, and after she sat down on it, he sat behind her so that she could lean into his legs the way they had so many times before as teenagers, sitting out and watching the stars blink over the wetlands.

It had killed him to keep things platonic back then, but even though he was supposed to have more control as an adult than as a h.o.r.n.y teenager, it was just the opposite.

"This is exactly what I needed." She turned her face to smile at him and he was a breath away from kissing her when she said, "Thank you for still being the one friend I can totally relax with."

It didn't take a genius to hear what she was telling him, loud and clear: I need you to be my friend, Ryan. Nothing else.

So despite how badly he wanted her, Ryan knew he would never forgive himself for being like all the other guys who had wanted something from her...and had taken it from her without thinking about anything but their own needs and desires.

She yawned and leaned back into him. "You know, I've never been much of a sleeper, but the last few nights were really bad with all those c.o.c.kroaches at the motel waiting for me to fall asleep so that they could come out to feast on me."

Her words had grown fuzzier and fuzzier as she spoke and he wasn't surprised when, a few minutes later, she fell asleep in his arms. It was hugely tempting to stay like that with her, to listen to her soft breathing, to memorize the feel of her beautiful curves against him...and to pretend that she was more than a friend.

Biting back a curse, Ryan easily lifted her up to carry her to the guest bedroom. Her legs were soft and smooth against his arm where her dress hiked up, and the feel of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s against his chest, her hips against his groin, made it difficult for him to think clearly.

Somehow he made it up the two flights of stairs without giving in to the urge to kiss her gorgeous lips, but he barely bit back a needy groan when she turned her face into his neck and he felt her warm breath against him.

He was breathing hard by the time he made it to the guest bedroom. Not because of her weight-he had a good foot in height on her-but because of the fight to control his arousal.

At last, he laid her down on the bed, her beautiful hair falling across the pillows as she immediately moved to curl up on her side.

Knowing he was going to spend the rest of the night wis.h.i.+ng he could be there wrapped around her, Ryan barely trusted himself to stay in the bedroom with her for another minute, let alone touch her again to get her under the sheets so she wouldn't wake up cold.

But even as he was pulling back the covers and getting ready to slide her beneath them, he knew she wouldn't be comfortable sleeping in her form-fitting dress. It was going to have to come off...which meant he was going to have to stop being a jacka.s.s and remember how to be her friend.

One who just happened to want her like crazy.

Ryan was famous for his steady hands, and for the fact that nothing riled him. But tonight, just the thought of undressing Vicki had his hands shaking like a blade of gra.s.s in the breeze.

He thanked G.o.d that her zipper was on the side of the dress so he could reach it without having to touch her too much. As he slowly pulled it down, he was torn between wanting her to wake up and praying she'd stay asleep.

What would she think if she found him undressing her in the dark bedroom without her consent? Would she slap him and throw him out?

Or would she tell him to finish the job by taking off her underwear, too, and then invite him to press kisses to the skin he'd just uncovered?

By then the zipper was down, but he wasn't doing his control any favors by letting his mind wander into fantasyland when he still had the dress to slide off her incredible curves.

You can do this, Sullivan.

He'd learned early on, when the game stakes were high and it came down to him on the pitcher's mound, how to shut down everything but the one thing he needed to focus on: making enough good pitches to strike the batter out.

Tonight, that focus was entirely on getting out of the guest bedroom without kissing Vicki. Or stroking his hand over the curve of her breast. Or waking her up and begging her to let him make love to her.

Her dress was made of smooth fabric and it didn't take more than a couple of slow tugs on the hem to get it to slide off. His jaw dropped at the sight of her in a strapless bra and lace panties, both of them red. The bold color looked like fire licking across her pale skin.

He knew it was wrong to stare at her like this, while she was asleep and he was all but drooling. Knowing he still needed to get her under the covers, Ryan tried to get a grip, and swore he almost had it when she stirred slightly, just enough that he was utterly mesmerized by the way her b.r.e.a.s.t.s moved beneath her bra.

Hard past the point of comfort-way past-he gave himself sixty seconds to get her under the covers and himself out of the room.

Steeling himself for the touch of her soft skin beneath his hands, he gently lifted her from the bed again before putting her back down on the sheet. And as long as he blocked out every ounce of sensation, if he didn't make the mistake of smelling her hair, or getting too close to her luscious mouth, he might be able to get out of the bedroom in one piece.

He had almost pulled his arms from her when she suddenly said his name in her sleep, pressed her lips to his neck, and tightened her hold on him as if she didn't want to him to leave.

Ryan went completely still, everywhere-apart from his erection, which was throbbing painfully against the zipper of his jeans. His hands started moving with a mind of their own down her back, over her hips. When she moved closer to him instead of farther away, he almost gave in to the need that hadn't just been eating at him from that first moment he'd seen her with James at the Pacific Union Club.

It had been eating at him since he was fifteen years old.

Ryan didn't just want Vicki anymore. He needed her. With a desperation he'd never felt before for anything or anyone but her.

Black and white turned into a dirty shade of gray as the urge grew bigger, stronger, and he teetered between right and wrong. And in the end, it took every ounce of self-control he possessed to gently lay Vicki back against the pillows and cover her with the sheets.

She trusted him, enough that she'd actually fallen asleep in his arms down on the beach. He'd never forgive himself if he selfishly took advantage of her sleepy vulnerability.

Especially when she'd just made it perfectly clear to him at dinner, and then again on the beach, that she needed him to be her friend.

And only her friend.

After leaving her alone and soft and perfect on the bed, instead of going to his bedroom where he knew he wouldn't sleep worth a d.a.m.n with Vicki only a wall away, he headed for his home office and picked up the phone.

"Hey, Rafe, it's Ryan."

His cousin worked as a private detective in Seattle. Ryan always made sure Rafe had killer tickets when they played in the northwest.

"Need some pointers for the game tomorrow?" his cousin joked.

"Not tonight," Ryan replied.

Realizing he wasn't calling to shoot the breeze, Rafe said, "What's wrong? Is everyone in SF okay? Your mom doing all right?"

"They're all good. Great, actually. I'm calling for a friend of mine. I need you to dig up the dirt on one of her colleagues."

"Sure thing. What's the name?"

Ryan spelled it for him.

"I'll hand over any info as soon I get it," Rafe promised him.

A female voice sounded in the background and Ryan said, "Thanks for your help. You can hang up and roll back on top of her now." The phone went dead immediately, his cousin obviously eager to do just that.

Ryan pulled out some new endors.e.m.e.nt contracts that could have waited. A few hours later, when he couldn't put off going to bed any longer, the situation was just as he'd figured it would be. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Vicki in her s.e.xy red lace panties and strapless bra, reaching for him and pressing her lips against his.

At five a.m., he finally gave up and went to take a cold shower. One that wasn't even close to cold enough.

Chapter Five.

Vicki would have happily remained under the softest sheets she'd ever slept in, had it not been for the incredible smell of bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen.

How long had she been asleep? She couldn't remember heading to bed...or, she thought as she looked across the room and saw her dress draped carefully over the arm of a chair, taking off her dress for that matter.

Oh G.o.d, she thought as she felt her face heat up, had Ryan undressed her last night? She had a vague memory of being in his arms, with her arms around his neck, and his skin warm beneath her lips.

She gasped aloud at the horrifying thought that she might have thrown herself at him, her gasp turning to a moan at the even more horrifying realization that if she had, the solo state of her bed and the intact state of her underwear meant he certainly hadn't taken her up on it.

Her heart was pounding hard as she stripped off her underwear and got into the shower. The water pressure from the multiple expensive showerheads running down the wall from her head to her calves was heavenly, but she could hardly enjoy it while worrying about what she had-or hadn't-done to Ryan last night.

She knew he'd be a total gentleman about her throwing herself at him...but that didn't mean she wouldn't forever be hugely mortified about it.

Not able to stand not knowing what had happened for another second, she quickly dried off, slicked her hair back into a ponytail that she'd pay for later when the top of her hair was flat and the bottom looked like a bunny's tail, and threw on a pair of fatigue-print capris and an army-green tank top. Her heart thudded as she made her way down the hall to the stairs.

At the stove, Ryan's back was to her, but as soon as he heard her footsteps, he turned and said, "Perfect timing. Breakfast is almost up."

She carefully studied his expression for any awkwardness, but he looked just as easygoing as always. Relief flooded her at the desperate hope that she hadn't made a complete idiot of herself last night.

Still, the near miss was a very good warning to remember to keep her guard up around Ryan. The last thing she wanted to do was make him uncomfortable in any way. Especially after he'd rushed to her rescue last night and was now letting her crash at his oceanfront mansion.

"Was the bed okay?"

He handed her a plate full of bacon and eggs and toast, and her stomach grumbled in appreciation. "Between the bed and the shower and now breakfast, I'm not sure you'll ever figure out a way to get me to leave."

She'd meant it as a joke, but he didn't so much as smile at her. "Sounds good to me."

Her skin tingled under the intensity of his gaze and she sternly told herself to snap out of constantly fantasizing that there was something more behind his words than there actually was. Still, she needed to make absolutely certain that she hadn't crossed the line last night.

"I feel really bad about falling asleep on you last night. You know what a lightweight I am, especially after a few sleepless nights at Roach Central Station."

He sat down at the breakfast bar beside her and poured them both coffee. It smelled like heaven, but she was still too churned up over being this close to him to do more than cup the mug in her hands.

"My ego will get over it eventually," he joked, but a moment later she was surprised to see her easygoing friend look a little bit nervous. "I didn't think you'd be comfortable sleeping in your dress, obviously."