Sun And Candlelight Part 11

She loves them dearly, spoils them utterly and can no longer cope.

They need kind authority, understanding and someone to confide in and

love.

' "Why not you?

' Her voice was a little sharp.

"T am not a woman.

I love them, make no mistake about that, but there are so many things I

cannot do or say which a woman--a mother--can.

' Alethea opened her mouth ready to utter the telling remarks she had a mind to utter, but she had no chance. The door opened again and Sue came in, hesitated, said: "T'll bring in the coffee, shall I?

You too, sir?

' and retreated.

"T.

' began Alethea, and was interrupted once more, this time by one of the

nurses, who asked in a scared voice if she could go to coffee and then turned and ran, and this time Mr van Diederijk leaned one vast shoulder against the door jamb.

"T'll leave you to think it over," he said placidly.

"There are no strings attached, my dear.

As I said, I don't want a wife, I've had my fill of loving," his placid

voice was suddenly bitter, 'and that I think will suit you.

I shall enjoy your companions.h.i.+p and be proud to have you at my table.

' He was at the door when she cried: "But it's so drastic!

' "Yes?

But surely better than staying here for ever, eating your heart out

while you preserve an indifference torn in shreds each time you meet Penrose.

And you meet half a dozen times a day, do you not?

' He didn't wait for her to answer, but went away, shutting the door very quietly behind him.

Alethea sat very still after he had gone, staring down at her folded hands.

She was still staring at them when Sue came in with the coffee tray. "You look as though someone has. .h.i.t you on the head with a hammer," observed that young lady.

She looked a little anxiously at Alethea.

"T say, nothing's wrong, is it?

I mean, on the ward?

' "No--everything's fine.

' Alethea summoned up a smile.

"It wasn't anything to do with the ward.

' And Sue forbore from asking any more questions.

Sister Thomas was a poppet, but she had an air of reserve, even with

those with whom she worked, which prevented prying, and when she

broached the subject of the new batch of student nurses expected on the ward the next day.

Sue followed her lead and they talked of nothing else.

Alethea got through her busy day, plagued by the tiresome thought that Mr van Diederijk had left her to think his preposterous idea over and hadn't said more than that.

How long would it be before he turned up again, wanting to know her answer?

And did he imagine that it was something she could make up her mind about in an hour or so?

Not, she reminded herself peevishly, that she had any intention of even considering such a ridiculous suggestion.

She proceeded to consider it for the rest of the day and far into the night and at last fell asleep, declaring that he was either mad or playing some trick upon her.

She was aware as she closed her eyes that neither of these suppositions held an atom of truth.

It seemed that Mr van Diederijk's idea of leaving her to think it over was a timeless one; she saw nothing of him for the rest of that week, at the end of which she flounced off to her grandmother's for her days off in a quite nasty temper so that Mrs Bustle took her severely to task for glowering at her and taking no interest in the rhubarb jam-making, declaring that such tantrums belonged to childhood when they would have been suitably punished.

And as for Mrs Thomas, she waited patiently for her granddaughter to tell her whatever was on her mind and causing her to be so unlike her usual serene self.

And sure enough, when Alethea returned from shopping in the village and found that Mr van Diederijk had telephoned to say that he would be down to drive her back after lunch the next day, she could contain herself no longer; she dumped her basket on the kitchen table and went in search of her grandparent.

Mrs Thomas was sitting in the back porch, knitting, but she put it down as Alethea joined her and said: "Yes dear?

' in an inviting voice.

"Granny," began Alethea, "T want to talk to you.

' "Yes, my dear, I thought perhaps you did.

It's about Mr van Diederijk, I take it?

' "How did you know?

I've never said.

' Mrs Thomas looked smug.

"Exactly, Alethea.

You have my full attention.

' Her grandmother heard her out without interruption.

Only when Alethea had come to an end did she say: "I'm sorry, darling,"

and then: "You like Mr van Diederijk?

' Alethea examined her well-kept hands at some length, frowning

fiercely, and muttered: "Yes.

' "And you are sure in your heart that this Nick does not love you?

' "Oh, yes.

I'm sure of that.

Granny.

' Her voice was steady, but try as she might she couldn't keep the

bitterness out of it.

"You must decide for yourself, Alethea, you know that, don't you?

' She paused.

"He will expect an answer tomorrow.

' "Probably he will, but since he merely told me that he would leave me

to think it over, I don't see why he should expect an answer just when he wants it.

' She added loftily: "After all, it was rather like a business deal.