The Baroque Cycle - The Confusion Part 50

"Have I gotten her general drift-that she wants me to swim through crocodile-infested waters to retrieve the masts?"

"The judicial machinery here is not well-developed," Dappa announced. "There is only one sort of trial: and that is Trial by Ordeal."

"I'm being put on trial trial here? For what offense?" here? For what offense?"

"For offenses you might might commit in the future-which is to say that your honesty is being tried. Sometimes this might mean walking across fire. Other times, the defendant must swim through crocodiles. It is said to be an astonis.h.i.+ng thing to watch-which may account for the custom's perpetuation. I can supply all manner of lurid detail later, after you have survived-" commit in the future-which is to say that your honesty is being tried. Sometimes this might mean walking across fire. Other times, the defendant must swim through crocodiles. It is said to be an astonis.h.i.+ng thing to watch-which may account for the custom's perpetuation. I can supply all manner of lurid detail later, after you have survived-"

"If I survive, you mean!" I survive, you mean!"

"But for now, would you please do something do something!?"

As the Queen had begun flinging her lethal jewelry about, half a dozen Nayars had vaulted aboard the boat and trained loaded blunderbusses upon the other members of the Cabal. They could do nothing but sit tidily on their benches, like churchgoers, and watch Jack. Looking at them Jack was struck-and not for the first time, either-by the fact that, ever since Cairo, all of them had tended to look to Jack to take action. In other lives or other circ.u.mstances they might've been doers of deeds and leaders of men. But put 'em all together, pose 'em a problem, and they'd all turn their eyes Jack's way to see what he was going to do.

Which (come to think of it) had probably been noticed by Queen Kottakkal-so wise in the ways of men crowded together on armed Vessels, so backwards in her approach to judicial proceedings-and probably accounted for that it was Jack, and not van Hoek, or Moseh, who had been chosen to undergo the Trial by Ordeal.

The others followed his lead because of what he had done in Cairo. And Jack had done that deed because the Imp of the Perverse had somehow tracked him down in the Khan el-Khalili and convinced him that, rather than let the Duke live, and accept the perfectly reasonable deal that he was holding out, it would be better to slay him, and bring down consequences on himself and the others.

Everything that had happened since had been born in that moment. All of this Jack understood well enough. His only difficulty, just now, was that the said Imp had not followed him out as far as Malabar-or if it had, it had been waylaid by pirates and was now chained up in some dusty 'stan and being put to work (one could only suppose) getting rag-heads to do rash and imprudent things. At any rate the Imp was absent. And Jack-who at earlier times of his life would have dived without hesitation into the river-was strangely fixed to the spot, as if he were an old banyan-tree that had sunk a million roots into the earth. There were so many things to be said in favor of not not attempting to swim through crocodiles that he simply could not move. attempting to swim through crocodiles that he simply could not move.

His comrades sat meekly in the Queen's boat, staring at him. Jack loved certain of those men as well as he'd ever loved anyone, not counting Eliza. But various experiences of war, mutilation, slavery, and Vagabonding had made him into a hard man. He knew perfectly well that any galley chosen at random from the Mediterranean would contain a complement of slaves every bit as deserving of freedom as van Hoek, Moseh, and the others, and that none of them would ever be free. So why swim through crocodile-infested waters for these?

His sons were on the boat. Jimmy and Danny were not even looking at him. They were affecting boredom, convinced he would fail them, as always.

Enoch was on the boat, too. One day, Enoch would escape from Malabar. It might take a hundred years, but Enoch would escape and return to Christendom and spread the tale of how Jack Shaftoe had lost his nerve in the end and consequently spent his last years as a hermaphrodite b.u.t.t-slave in a heathen paG.o.da.

Jack noticed, as if from a distance, that he was sprinting down the river-bank.

The masts had a bit of a head start. Jack's path was eventually barred by mangroves, which formed a sort of living breakwater at the edge of the village. But there was a way through it, a path that people took over exposed roots and through brackish sumps, to get to the edge of the river where they would collect fish with nets or spears. Jack detoured through a cane house, s.n.a.t.c.hing a couple of chickens as he ran across the yard. Too, a piece of bamboo caught his eye. It was rumored that you could wedge a crocodile's jaws open with such a thing and so he grabbed this and tucked it under his arm.

Then-moving as fast as a man could over wet slick tree-roots with one chicken-neck clenched in each fist-he picked his way out to the river-bank just in time to see the masts gliding by. They had reached a place where the river widened and slowed, and dropped silt on its bottom to form a submerged bar. Jack was praying that the masts would get hung up on this. But of course Queen Kottakkal's minions had put floats around the masts to make them ride high in the water and prevent it from happening.

The masts were ten yards away, moving at a fast walking pace. The intervening water was murky and still, broken only by nostrils and eyeb.a.l.l.s, some of which were disconcertingly far apart. Jack estimated the number of animals at somewhere between eight and a dozen. They had observed him, and were beginning to cruise in his direction.

This was more or less how the Queen had planned it. In a few moments the masts would clear the bar and take to the harbor waters, which were much deeper and choppier. Jack could not swim in those waters; to stop those masts he had to make his move here here in the shallows, and in the shallows, and here here was where all of the crocodiles lurked. was where all of the crocodiles lurked.

As an experiment Jack flung one of the chickens out. It did not fall nor fly, but wandered through the air for a while, then snagged a wing-tip in the water and plowed to a stop. Its head came up once to squawk. Then the surface was broken by an upper jaw about the size of a tavern bench. Jack only glimpsed it. The chicken vanished like a candle-flame thrust into water.

Like Frenchmen, crocodiles were what they were, and did what they did, and saw no point in making pretenses or apologies, and therefore possessed a sort of aplomb that Jack found admirable in a way. He wished only that G.o.d would send him some more mammalian enemies. Though, come to think of it, nothing was more evident than that Queen Kottakkal was a mammal-unless it was that she was his enemy, too. So perhaps it was a distinction without a difference.

The only plan Jack could conceive of was to throw the other chicken in another direction and divert the crocodiles' attention long enough to make a dash for it. And this required s.h.i.+fting his burdens from hand to hand-the second chicken went to his right, the bamboo pole to his left. This was when he first became aware that the pole in question had a barbed metal head on one end. It was a fis.h.i.+ng spear. A rope was trailing from the other end-Jack had been dragging it behind him, without knowing he was doing it, during his run through the swamp. Now he gave it a hard jerk. The knot at its far end (intended to keep the rope from slipping out of a fisherman's hand) bounced off a mangrove-root and came flying towards him. Jack dropped the spear and s.n.a.t.c.hed the knot out of the air. Ten seconds later it was noosed round the neck of the second chicken. He now tossed the chicken into a momentarily crocodile-free zone about halfway between him and the masts. The crocodiles naturally converged on that place, their warty backs lifting the surface of the water without breaking through. Jack took advantage of this to jump down into the water, wade forward several steps (it came up to mid-thigh), and fling the spear in a high arc over the masts. It landed flat in the water on the far side of them. Or Jack guessed as much from the sounds made-he could not linger to watch its trajectory, because two crocodiles were already climbing over each other to reach him. Jack scampered back up onto mangroves and drew his sword before turning around.

The second chicken had long since been swallowed, without any tedious chewing, by a big croc. The rope was still attached-it ran up the crocodile's gullet, out of its mouth, and several yards across the water, over the mast-raft to the floating spear. As the masts moved downstream, the spear was dragged backwards across them, and inevitably the barbs in the spear-head snagged in some of the ropes binding the raft together. As to what happened inside of the crocodile's gut when the rope went taut and tried to pull the chicken out, Jack could only speculate-and as to what was going on in the mind of the chicken chicken (which might be in some sense still alive), that was a matter for metaphysicians. The outward result was that the masts stopped moving and the crocodile became highly annoyed. Jack supposed that a very big and old crocodile must take a certain pride in his work, viz. swallowing and digesting whatever came along, and that an attempt to revoke a meal by yanking it out must be viewed, by such a Reptile, as a very serious affront. In any event it led to an amount of thras.h.i.+ng. And that led to a bit of good fortune Jack had not really looked for: All of the other crocodiles seemed to hear or feel this commotion and made it their business to get there as fast as they could-which was disturbingly fast. (which might be in some sense still alive), that was a matter for metaphysicians. The outward result was that the masts stopped moving and the crocodile became highly annoyed. Jack supposed that a very big and old crocodile must take a certain pride in his work, viz. swallowing and digesting whatever came along, and that an attempt to revoke a meal by yanking it out must be viewed, by such a Reptile, as a very serious affront. In any event it led to an amount of thras.h.i.+ng. And that led to a bit of good fortune Jack had not really looked for: All of the other crocodiles seemed to hear or feel this commotion and made it their business to get there as fast as they could-which was disturbingly fast.

Jack, anyway, was not slow to take advantage of this, the only opportunity he was likely to get. He waded halfway to the masts and faltered when he felt the river-bottom falling out from under his feet, and the current trying to sweep his legs. His boots and weapons would make swimming impossible. He kicked off a boot, and was about to abandon it when something prompted him to turn around. Nostrils were headed his way. He flung the boot towards them and it vanished as quickly as the chickens had. A few moments later, the second boot joined it. Now Jack pulled off the belt that supported his sword and scabbard. The belt he flung at the crocodile; it paused for one heartbeat to consume it. The sword he flung at the mast-raft; it had the good grace to stick there. The scabbard he made as if to throw at the crocodile. Watching him through bulging slit-pupil eyes, it opened its mouth to catch it; but Jack held on to this morsel, turned it vertical, and shoved it between the crocodile's jaws.

Now this turned out to be nothing more than a brief annoyance to the animal, and not the show-stopper Jack had been hoping for; but as Jack had demonstrated in diverse settings, sometimes it sufficed to be annoying. It took a few moments for this crocodile to shake the scabbard loose, and in that time Jack divested himself of his clothes. While another crocodile was swallowing those, naked Jack was swimming to the masts. While the two crocodiles were fighting over precedence, Jack was climbing onto the masts and retrieving his sword. A smaller crocodile came towards him with shocking speed, as if it were being towed on a rope behind a fleet s.h.i.+p, and made it halfway up onto the fore-mast on sheer momentum. Jack nearly took its head off and it fell into the water and became food for other crocodiles. Another stroke of the Janissary-blade severed the rope of the chicken and set the masts adrift again. The raft slowly began to move, and soon eased over the bar and into the harbor, spinning slowly in some vast unseen vortex.

The Queen's boat was waiting there, and with a couple of throws Jack was able to get the line over to his comrades, who proceeded to reel him and the masts in like a fish.

Jack sensed that he was already badly sunburnt; yet the equatorial sun was a soothing balm compared to the glare of Queen Kottakkal.

"I perceive the wisdom of your tradition, O Queen," Jack said as his mast-raft was brought alongside the royal barge, "for not one man in a thousand could survive the trial you set for me there. Andas near as I can make out, one in a thousand is the normal proportion of honest men in any group..."

But here Jack's oration was rudely interrupted by screams from nearly every man on the boat. He turned around to see a giant crocodile, twenty feet long if it was an inch. It was not so much climbing onto climbing onto the masts as the masts as thrusting them below thrusting them below the surface of the water with its weight, and then gliding up over the submerged wood. This meant that it was advancing toward him. But then suddenly it was raining Shaftoes as Jimmy and Danny vaulted down between Jack and the reptile, each gripping a boat-paddle, and began waving these in the animal's face. It proceeded to chew its way up the wood as if the oars were breadsticks, and was well on its way to having Jimmy and Danny Shaftoe for lunch, and Jack for dessert, when the Nayars up on the boat opened fire with their blunderbusses. the surface of the water with its weight, and then gliding up over the submerged wood. This meant that it was advancing toward him. But then suddenly it was raining Shaftoes as Jimmy and Danny vaulted down between Jack and the reptile, each gripping a boat-paddle, and began waving these in the animal's face. It proceeded to chew its way up the wood as if the oars were breadsticks, and was well on its way to having Jimmy and Danny Shaftoe for lunch, and Jack for dessert, when the Nayars up on the boat opened fire with their blunderbusses.

A moment later the Malabar skies were split open by a long rippling train of explosions. Jack looked across the water to see the new s.h.i.+p obscured in a bank of gray smoke, and light jabbing out of it in all directions: The eager crew had misunderstood, and were firing a full salute to their approaching Queen and their s.h.i.+p's officers. Jack felt the masts bob upwards under his feet, and glanced over to see quite a bit of blood where the crocodile had been.

The guns of Queen Kottakkal's castle were firing a salute of their own now, and the Queen was ascending to the top of her barge to accept all of these honors. She had been overtaken by events, which happened to all monarchs; but like a good monarch she knew when to accept the strange verdicts handed down by Fortune and by crocodiles.

JACK, IN A BORROWED Nayar loincloth, raised the Champagne-bottle over his head and drew a bead on the s.h.i.+p's bowsprit. "In the name of whatever pa.s.ses for sacred in this h.e.l.l-hole, I christen thee Nayar loincloth, raised the Champagne-bottle over his head and drew a bead on the s.h.i.+p's bowsprit. "In the name of whatever pa.s.ses for sacred in this h.e.l.l-hole, I christen thee Eli Eli-"

Halfway to its target, the bottle slapped into the suddenly out-thrust palm of Enoch Root.

"Don't name it after her," he said.

"Why not? That has always always been my plan." been my plan."

"Do you really think it will go unnoticed? The lady is in a delicate position...even the figurehead bears a dangerously close resemblance to her."

"D'you really suppose it'll matter matter?"

"This s.h.i.+p is not destined to remain in Malabar forever. One day she will find her way back to some Christian port-and there are very few Christian ports left left where Eliza is not, in some sense, embroiled." where Eliza is not, in some sense, embroiled."

"Well, what the h.e.l.l should we name it, then? Electress Sophie? Queen Kottakkal? Electress Sophie? Queen Kottakkal?"

"Sometimes it is better to be indirect...then each and every one of those Ladies can suppose suppose that the s.h.i.+p is that the s.h.i.+p is really really named after her." named after her."

"Not a bad idea, Enoch...but what does each of those three Ladies have in common?"

"Wisdom. Wisdom, and a kind of strength-a willingness to put her wisdom into effect."

"Say no more," Jack said, "I have seen the very Lady in plays." Then, turning his attention back to the s.h.i.+p: "I christen thee Minerva Minerva." A moment later French wine was fizzing on his sunburnt flesh, and the cannons were firing all round. Dappa was translating all to Queen Kottakkal, who looked Jack in the eye and smiled.

Book 5

The Juncto

The Thames FEBRUARY 1696.

"A GREAT HEAP OF CORD-WOOD GREAT HEAP OF CORD-WOOD and kindling, saturated with oil, was found on the brink of the cliff at Dover," a.s.serted Roger Comstock, Marquis of Ravenscar and Chancellor of the Exchequer, "ready to speed the news of his majesty's a.s.sa.s.sination across the Channel." Seated in the (more desirable) forward-facing bench of the boat, he held his head high, and gazed down the Thames as if combing the skies above the Nore for encrypted smoke-signals. and kindling, saturated with oil, was found on the brink of the cliff at Dover," a.s.serted Roger Comstock, Marquis of Ravenscar and Chancellor of the Exchequer, "ready to speed the news of his majesty's a.s.sa.s.sination across the Channel." Seated in the (more desirable) forward-facing bench of the boat, he held his head high, and gazed down the Thames as if combing the skies above the Nore for encrypted smoke-signals.

"It speaks well of the Jacobites that they have at last got their signals worked out," was all Daniel had to say. "They have used up half of France's wine and firewood celebrating false false reports of William's demise." reports of William's demise."

Roger sighed. "You are as ever a fount of treasonous raillery. It is well that we meet on a water-taxi, where the only one who can overhear us, does not speak a word of English." This a playful dig at the c.o.c.kney manning the oar. If Daniel had made the same jest, he'd have been pitched overboard, and the waterman would have been acquitted, at the Old Bailey, on grounds of All Too Understandable Righteous Fury. Somehow Roger said it with the wink that was as good as a one-pound tip.

"When we parley in a coffee-house," Roger went on, "I flinch whenever you get that look on your face, and part your lips."

"Soon I shall follow that other Seditious Libeller, Gomer Bolstrood, across the sea, and your flinching days shall be at an end." Daniel, seated in the backward-facing seat, gazed wistfully toward Ma.s.sachusetts.

"Yes, so you have been claiming, for the last ten years or so-"

"Closer seven. But to play fast and loose with quant.i.ties numerical quant.i.ties numerical is, of course, a perquisite-some would say, a necessity-of your office." Daniel rotated his head a few degrees to the left and nodded in the direction of Westminster Palace, still and for the next few seconds visible around the elbow of Lambeth. This was a reference to the Exchequer, an avalanche of ill-considered additions to the river-ward side of the same Palace. It was there that Daniel had gone to meet Roger, and thence that they'd departed on this boat a few minutes ago. is, of course, a perquisite-some would say, a necessity-of your office." Daniel rotated his head a few degrees to the left and nodded in the direction of Westminster Palace, still and for the next few seconds visible around the elbow of Lambeth. This was a reference to the Exchequer, an avalanche of ill-considered additions to the river-ward side of the same Palace. It was there that Daniel had gone to meet Roger, and thence that they'd departed on this boat a few minutes ago.

Roger turned around, following Daniel's gaze, but too late.

"I was looking at your Place of Business," Daniel said. "It seems to have disappeared behind all of those immense stacks of rotting timbers that have acc.u.mulated there in recent years, along the Lambeth river-bend, in consequence of that no one can buy anything because there is no money."

Roger blinked very slowly, once, which was a way of letting Daniel know that the jab had quite wounded him, but that the victim was in a forgiving mood.

"I should be ever so much obliged," Roger said, "if you would attend attend to the very important news I am projecting in the general direction of your b.l.o.o.d.y ears. Forty men-gentlemen and t.i.tled n.o.bility of England, for the most part-gathered yesterday on Turn-ham Green to fall upon the King of England, on his way back from hunting, and murder him." to the very important news I am projecting in the general direction of your b.l.o.o.d.y ears. Forty men-gentlemen and t.i.tled n.o.bility of England, for the most part-gathered yesterday on Turn-ham Green to fall upon the King of England, on his way back from hunting, and murder him."

"Say, speaking of b.l.o.o.d.y ears-"

"Yes! He was among them."

People hated listening to Daniel and Roger converse, for they'd known each other much longer than was decent, proper, or good for them, and so were able to communicate in a stunted zargon of private allusions. b.l.o.o.d.y ears b.l.o.o.d.y ears was here a reference to Charles White, the Jacobite Tory who had made a habit of biting Whigs' ears off, and (or so 'twas rumored) later displaying them, in private, to like-minded friends, as trophies. was here a reference to Charles White, the Jacobite Tory who had made a habit of biting Whigs' ears off, and (or so 'twas rumored) later displaying them, in private, to like-minded friends, as trophies.

"In Calais, in Dunkirk," Roger continued, "you'll see s.h.i.+ps crammed with French troops, waiting only for that signal-fire to blaze up before they set sail."

"I see that you are furious. I understand why. If I am not not, it is only because this is all so b.l.o.o.d.y repet.i.tive that I can scarcely believe I am hearing it! Did we not go through this already?"

"What an odd reaction."

"Is it? I could say the same about the b.l.o.o.d.y money money. When are we to have money, Roger?"

"Some, Daniel, would say that the regrettable phaenomena to which you allude were consistent, consistent, or or persistent, persistent, or or constant constant menaces to our liberties as Englishmen, and thus naturally to be confronted and subdued with manly vigor. For you to roll your eyes in this way, and deride them as merely menaces to our liberties as Englishmen, and thus naturally to be confronted and subdued with manly vigor. For you to roll your eyes in this way, and deride them as merely repet.i.tious repet.i.tious-as if you were watching a play play-is very strange."

"That is why I am getting ready to excuse myself, and go out to the lobby for air."

"The lobby is some labored metaphor, here, for Ma.s.sachusetts Bay Colony?"

"Yes."

"What makes you suppose Ma.s.sachusetts will seem any less repet.i.tious? The news that I get from there is just one b.l.o.o.d.y Indian-raid, and Mather-tirade, after another."

"I shall be able to pursue work there, of an altogether novel character."

"Yes-so you keep telling the Fellows of the Royal Society-all two dozen of us."

"The correct figure is nearer eight eight dozen. But I take your meaning. We dozen. But I take your meaning. We have have dwindled. It is all because of Want of Novelty. I mean to fix that." dwindled. It is all because of Want of Novelty. I mean to fix that."

"Here is novelty for you: When you come in sight of the French naval base at Dunkirk-"

"That is the second second time you have spoken to me as if I were about to go on a voyage to France. What is troubling your mind, to inspire such phant'sies?" time you have spoken to me as if I were about to go on a voyage to France. What is troubling your mind, to inspire such phant'sies?"

"Troubled mind or no, I am, am I not, the sole benefactor and Chairman of the Court of Directors of the Ma.s.sachusetts Bay Colony Inst.i.tute of Technologickal Arts?"

"Sir, I am not aware that the said Inst.i.tute has even been Inst.i.tuted yet. But if it had, had, you'd be the Prime Suspect." you'd be the Prime Suspect."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes."

"It follows that I am ent.i.tled to some say in how the sole employee goes about his work-do you not agree?"

"Employees get get paid paid. They get paid money. money. Of which there Of which there is is none." none."

"You are really the most exasperating chap. How have you spent the past fortnight?"

"You know perfectly well I've been up at Cambridge helping Isaac clean out his lodgings."

Roger affected astonishment. "I say, that wouldn't by any chance be Isaac Newton the savant-?-! Why ever is he leaving Cambridge?"

"Coming down here-finally-to run the Mint," Daniel allowed (this had been in the works for years; the Realm's political complications, and Isaac's mental disorders, had made it slow).

"They say he is the most brilliant fellow who ever lived."

"He would give that distinction to Solomon; but I am with you, sir."

"My goodness, do you suppose he'll be up to the task of stamping out a few bits of metal?"

"If he is not fettered by Politicks Politicks."

"Daniel, you offend me. What you have just said amounts to a suggestion that the Juncto is politically incompetent. May I remind you that Recoinage has been approved-by Commons as well as Lords? So we shall only have to put up with this rubbish for a little while longer." The Chancellor of the Exchequer reached into his shoe and pulled out a wad of Bank of England paper money he'd stuffed into it to keep his feet warm, and waggled it in the chilly air for emphasis. Then-disgusted by the sight of it-he chucked it over his shoulder into the Thames. Neither he nor the waterman looked back.

"That was a foolish and profligate waste," Daniel said. "We could've burned it to keep warm."

"Tally-sticks make more heat, guv'nor," volunteered the waterman, "and they are circulating at a discount of forty percent."

"Isaac will be sworn in at the Mint at the beginning of May," said Roger. "It is now February. How shall we occupy ourselves between now and then? Your intention is to carry forward that Comenius-WilkinsLeibniz Pansophic Arithmetickal EngineLogick MillAlgebra of RatiocinationAutomatic ComputationRepository of all Knowledge project, is it not?"

"We need a better name for it," Daniel conceded, "but you know perfectly well the answer is yes."

"Then you really had ought to go have a chat with Leibniz first, or do you disagree?"

"Of course I don't disagree," said Daniel, "but even if money existed in this Realm, I should not possess possess any, and so I had not really considered it." any, and so I had not really considered it."

"I found some old louis d'or, louis d'or, pre-debas.e.m.e.nt, in a sock," Roger confided to him, "and should be pleased to advance them to you, while we wait for Isaac to stoke up the Mint." pre-debas.e.m.e.nt, in a sock," Roger confided to him, "and should be pleased to advance them to you, while we wait for Isaac to stoke up the Mint."