The Far Side Of Forever Part 5

All the stupid ones can do is leam one or two very simple spells, and then spend the rest of their lives coasting on the reputation of being a witch or a magician. The real trouble

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comes when one of the stupid or lazy tries to do something beyond them. They establish a weak or useless hold on some dangerous entry, for example, then either get sucked into it or let out things that don't get along with our kind of life. It's pure h.e.l.l getting a mess like that straightened out again, especially if they happen to get sucked in and leave the entry behind them. People without the Sight can't See the entry, and end up getting sucked in right behind the bungler."

"To disappear forever from the world they know," he said with a shudder he made no attempt to hide. "Truly is there a dark side to this thing called magic."

"Only if you go at it stupidly," I said, looking around at the cool, green woods we were just entering. "There are some people, without the Sight, who make a wrong dis- tinction between white magic and black magic. They don't understand that the Sighted arc otherwise no different from me unSighted, some bright, some stupid, some decent and some warped by something inside them. What the warped try to do is use magic to advance themselves according to their own peculiar values, but they try to do it in a way that doesn't match reality. They See what me rest of us See, but the vision doesn't suit them so they try to tell themselves they're Seeing something else. When they be- gin describing that something else in a spell, the spell and me reality don't quite match up, but they're using very precise language that brings them a lot of power. We've discovered that that power-changes-the reality of what the warped one is looking at, but not the way normal magic changes things. To change something into something else is easy, but only if you have a sure grasp of what that something is to begin with; you're accepting its reality and working from there. To alter that reality to begin with is not black magic but something else entirely, and the sub- stance for the change has to come from somewhere other than thin air. The only place for the substance to come from is the warped one's own body, and that's where it does come from. They force reality to change to their view of it, but pay a terrible price for the accomplishment.

Every use of that kind of power diminishes them, but most 49.

of them won't admit it until mere isn't enough left of them to save."

We were both silent for a while after that, the darker woods a fitting backdrop for the dark subject we'd been discussing, the happy chirps and squawks and chitterings all around both incongruous and at the same time warm- ing. Physical dark can never be as bad as the dark of the mind, and after the while pa.s.sed Kadrim Harra took a deep breath of the sweet air we rode through.

"And the spells which you spent me darkness learn- ing?" he said, bringing his attention back to me. "As spells are merely descriptions of that which you see, for what reason did you need to leam of what is not yet before you?"

"The purpose of speaking a spelt is to gather power over the thing you're describing," I said slowly, trying to keep from confusing him. "If I can See something I can describe it in the language of spells, and if I speak the spell I have power over it. The problem is, although I can feel the power someone has or has used by speaking a spell, I can't See the spell itself-at least, not most spells.

If I can't See a spell sent to attack us, I can't defend against it, nor can even the strongest wizard alive. The only thing i can do is leam certain general defensive spells, which describe conditions rather than solid objects.

Developing those spells took a lot of time and a lot of dangerous work by very powerful wizards, and they must be learned exactly right or they won't work-or, worse than that, they'll work wrong. I could build us a house in the middle of these woods right now without any trouble at all, but I've Seen houses and can speak the spell without the least danger. UnSeen spheres and platforms and things are another matter entirely, so you can be sure I won't use those spells unless I absolutely have to."

"A wise precaution," he agreed with a distracted nod, again thinking about what he'd been told. "No man of sense will use an untried and undependable weapon, save that his life hinges upon that use. These spells of protec- tion which were taught you-the wizard spoke them to you so that you would know them? Over and over till they were yours?"

SHARON OREEN.

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"Of course not," I answered with a laugh, seeing it would take some time before he absorbed all the details of what magic was about. "If Graythor had spoken the spells he would have invoked them, and then we would have spent the night surrounded by invisible spheres and walls and platforms. He had me leam them from his red Grimoire."

The blank look I got then made me feel annoyed with myself, mainly for forgetting how little he knew about magic, but also for the tiredness that was weighing me down. I'd need to gather strength and alertness before the morning was even half over, something I hadn't thought would be necessary quite so soon. Maybe I was getting to be older than I thought.

"A Grimoire is a book of spells, and each wizard puts together his or her own," I explained, tossing my head to get the hair back over my shoulders. "Some of them are like Graythor's, simply written in the language of spells to be used by anyone with the Sight, but some are more involved- Spells that are written down deal with things that can't be Seen, and not all wizards are willing to share the work of decades with anyone who comes along. Those wizards disguise their spells to look like this language rather man the language of spells, and need a key before they can be read as spells. Those are usually also red Grimoires, but sometimes the same is done for safety purposes with black Grimoires."

Again the blank look, but this time I was expecting it.

Maybe it was lack of sleep rather than age after all.

"There are two kinds of spells concerning the unSeen,"

I said, this time consciously noticing that the two men ahead of us were glancing back to make sure we were still with the group. Rikkan Addis had done that a few times before, but then he did still consider himself leader of our expedition. "The first set of spells are like the ones I've learned, ones that have been developed and made reason- ably safe by wizards of power, spells that will work right if they're spoken right. The second kind of written spells are ones that aren't safe at all, ones that are speculation and have never been tried, ones that are tried but for some reason don't always do what they're supposed to, and ones 51.

that seem absolutely simple and safe, but will kill or erase anyone who uses mem. Spells like that are black magic, and are kept in black Grimoires, to let everyone know what they are, and to be in a handy place where they can be studied and tinkered with by any wizard who's grown tired of living. I don't ever expect to get that tired of living."

"Nor I,*' he said with a chuckle, also having noticed the attention from ahead, but making no effort to hurry us into closing the gap we'd let grow. "Life, I believe, is meant to be filled with enjoyment till it ends of its own self. At dinner last darkness, the wizard disallowed discus- sion upon the point of our former lives. Think you he meant the ban to continue for all of this journey?"

"If that's what he'd wanted, he would have said so," I answered with a shrug, wondering why he would ask that, "Or he would have used a spell to be sure no one could talk about themselves. Is there something about yourself that you wanted to say?"

"At the moment, no more man that 1 am a king in my own world," he said, his smile faint beneath those steady blue eyes. "It was you I wished to speak of, to learn what 1 might of one who deals so easily with that which others are unable to touch. Surely the power comes to you more swiftly and easily than to others."

"The power only comes to those who work hard for it,"

I said with just a small sound of ridicule, remembering he didn't really know about magic. "I've spent the last ten years slaving away studying with my foster mother, who was a wizard long before she ever found me. A wizard and a slavedriver, but if there's one particular reason I'm a sorceress now, she's it. She didn't have to take me time away from her own studies but she did, and always let me know how much she enjoyed it and how proud she was of me. I owe her more than I'll ever be able to repay."

"She must truly be a great woman," he said, somehow sounding as though he, a boy, was giving her, a wizard, an approval she might not ordinarily be ent.i.tled to. "You say that she is your foster mother, and that you were a foundling? Who, then, are the people of your blood?"

*'It would be interesting to know," I muttered, moving 52.

my eyes to the long gray mane bobbing in front of my hands. "My earliest memory is of the streets of Geddenburg, sleeping in deserted shacks, eating garbage, and begging coppers with me rest of the kids who lived in the alley- ways with me. I spent years among the street folk, eventu- ally moving up, like all the others in our pack, to stealing, but I wasn't very good at it. Morgiana caught me with a hand in her purse, tripped me with a spell before I could run far enough to lose myself in the crowds or alleys, then dragged me home with her. She'd known immediately that I was one of the Sighted, and wasn't about to let me disappear back into the gutter. As close as she could tell I was about twelve years old then, tall and thin and raggedy and filthy, and stubborn as a brick wall. I've always wondered where she found the patience to put up with me."

"Clearly she was able to see the woman you would become," he said in a way mat let me know those eyes were still on me. "Tall and slender, well-shaped and lovely, strong as well as powerful. Had 1 a sleeve, perhaps I would not escape as easily as 1 had thought."

"Oh, sure, lovely," I repeated sourly, reaching a hand out to stroke the gray mane I still stared at. "With straw- white hair and stupid-colored eyes and taller than almost any other woman except Targa Emmen Su Daylath. That was one of the reasons 1 was such a failure as a thief. A good thief is more like a ghost, never noticed by the target or mark, but how could anyone miss someone who looks the way I do? If I weren't so stubborn 1 would have changed myself years ago to something more normal, but I don't want to do that. Looking like something else wouldn't be me."

"And we must each of us be ourselves," he agreed, his voice now a murmur. "I am honored that you would speak to me so, sharing things which surely continue to give you pain. Perhaps later I, too, will share a thing which is not easily put into words."

"Only if you want to," I said, finally looking at him again. "You're very easy to talk to, but 1 don't happen to have that talent and I know it. And I'm also very tired and probably have talked too much. All my closest friends in 53.

the pack were male, but I haven't had a male friend since.

You don't mind being friends with someone older than you, do you?"

"No, it would please me if we were friends," he said with a sigh and the oddest smile, one mat made me think that for some reason he was laughing at himself. "One is never able to have too many friends." He paused a mo- ment then said, "What of suitors? You have said naught of them, yet surely there are many men who came to pay you court? You speak of yourself with odd disapproval, yet a man would need to be blind to see you as anything other than lovely."

"You sound like Morgiana," I told him, making a face at the nonsense he was trying to get me to believe. "If you mink you like me way 1 look, it's only because we've decided to be friends- She says it because she loves me, and love does weird things even to the Sight. And no, our doors haven't been broken down by droves of love-crazed men coming to beg for my hand. Oh, I guess a few sorcerers and one or two wizards have come calling the last few years, but Morgiana didn't like them any more than 1 did, and there must have been something wrong with them if they were coming after me. But what about you? You must have had hundreds of girlfriends back in your own world, especially if you're a king."

"Indeed, I have had all the women I could desire," he said, his smile widening to a grin. "Few as friends, yet did 1 nevertheless find the time most pleasant. Many fe- males seem to desire a king no matter the other qualities he may or may not possess. Afterward, they, too, were pleased."

"Well, I know what's going to please me," I said, glancing ahead to make sure we were still far enough back before looking straight at him. "If I tell you something, will you keep it just between us?"

"You would now share a secret," he said with another sigh, the grin having gone elsewhere- "Perhaps, after that, / would do well to speak more plainly- For the moment, you have my word that I will not repeat whatever is told me. What is it you would have me know?"

"Just mis," 1 said, deciding 1 didn't have the time to

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figure out whatever he was talking about. "I've already mentioned how important this quest is to me, so when I say I've decided to make sure it's run right, you won't be surprised. As soon as we pa.s.s through the first gate I'm going to take over as leader, and I want you to be my second in command.''

"You?" he said, blinking at me with the sort of incom- prehension he hadn't shown even when 1 was explaining about magic. "Our leader? Has the wizard not said that the man with glowing eyes is to be our leader? How do you mean to convince ..."

"Convince nothing," 1 interrupted, gesturing aside his objections- "Once I announce the change, he can either go along with it or go back where he came from. Even if he didn't agree, how could he stop me? Besides, I have experience leading, and who knows how much he has? I was leader of our street pack for almost two years before Morgiana found me, and I made a d.a.m.ned good leader.

And wouldn't you rather be second in command instead of just another member of the expedition?"

"At various times in his life, a man fmds me offer of position tempting," he allowed with a nod and a very bland look that somehow seemed to be covering amuse- ment. "There is still, however, the matter of the wishes of a wizard to consider. And this Rikkan Addis himself.

Should he leave us, we would be lacking his abilities when we arrived at our destination. Would you see our quest jeopardized through the lack of some necessary talent?"