The Nanny Part 30

Jo frowned intensely, disturbed by the sight of his bruised back. "Not long now, I suppose," she said, her tone softer.

Josh nodded. "Why, thank you, Dr. Nanny. Can I go now?"

She nodded miserably.

"Night then," said Josh.

"Night."

Jo stared at the open page of her book while Josh left her room. And then, to the murmuring vibrations of him going to bed one foot away from her, she shut her book, lay back on her bed, and closed her eyes.

Chapter 17.

Sat.u.r.day morning, Vanessa woke to feel someone gently stroking her ear. She nuzzled closer. Slowly she opened one eye and saw Tallulah, thumb in mouth, staring deeply at her. Vanessa snuggled up against her baby.

"h.e.l.lo, Tallulah-mae," she whispered. "What are you doing in here?"

"Watching you," said Tallulah.

Vanessa smiled, inhaling her daughter's smell.

"Mummy?"

"Hmm?"

"Who's Anthony?"

Vanessa opened her eyes and edged away slightly. She blinked a couple of times to clear her cobweb brain. "Oh just some awful person Mummy's having to work with at the moment." She closed her eyes again.

"Were you having a nightmare?" asked Tallulah.

"Mmm," answered Vanessa. "Most probably."

"Is that why you were moaning?"

And, as if by magic, Vanessa was wide-awake. "Is Daddy making breakfast?" she asked her daughter.

d.i.c.k always did the early Sat.u.r.day morning s.h.i.+ft. He didn't mind because the TV channels had just woken up to the fact that dads were now involved in child care and so had started to screen sport, followed by children's TV hosted by nubile blond babes. Funny that, pondered Vanessa, curling up round Tallulah. No Love Boat and hunky male presenters in the weekdays for mums. Oh G.o.d, she thought, interrupting her own thoughts. She was so sick and bored and tired of being angry all the time. Why did these destructive thoughts circle like vultures in her head all the time? Why couldn't they just leave her alone? She didn't want to hate d.i.c.k. She didn't want their marriage to turn into one long blame-fest. She hugged Tallulah and kissed her baby neck.

"Is Toby up?" she asked, stroking Tallulah's hair.

"Yes," said Tallulah. "He's taken Josh to see the Lord."

"What? He's taken him to church?"

"That's what he said. Where everyone wears white together."

"Oh my G.o.d. They've gone to a church?" Vanessa was completely awake now, no going back.

d.i.c.k appeared at the bedroom door with a tray containing a cafetiere, half a grapefruit, a bowl of organic muesli with soya milk, a bowl of crunchy nutty chocolatey cereal with full-fat milk and a copy of the Observer.

"Breakfast in bed for two of my favorite women," he said, placing the tray on the chair at the end of the bed. "And certainly two of the most terrifying."

"Thanks, d.i.c.k," croaked Vanessa. "It would be absolutely marvelous if you could walk it an extra two feet so we don't have to get out of bed for our breakfast in bed."

"Of course, darling," said d.i.c.k, stepping back and picking up the tray again. He placed it on the bed. "Would you like me to oil your pillows while I'm here, too?"

"Has Josh taken Toby to a happy-clappy church?"

d.i.c.k frowned. "No, dear. To Lords to see the cricket. But I can see how you'd make the mistake."

Vanessa looked hard at her husband. "Thank you for bringing my breakfast and a stomach ulcer, darling. You do help."

"Pleasure, darling. I'll be off to do a hard day's work. Don't worry about me."

"I should think I'll be far too busy looking after all your children, including the ones that aren't mine."

"Bye then."

"Bye then."

d.i.c.k shut the bedroom door behind him, and Vanessa shut her eyes tight.

That afternoon Toby and Josh sat in Regent's Park together. Toby was now so tall he almost reached Josh's shoulders. One more growth spurt and he'd easily be taller than his big brother. He would never have the same brooding looks as Josh because he'd inherited his mother's coloring, but he did share Josh and d.i.c.k's handsome features, and at times, a fleeting expression-usually of bewilderment-revealed his genetic connection to the male role models in his life.

Josh kept sneaking sideways glances at his brother, trying to remember how he felt at that age. But he kept coming back to the same thing. When he was Toby's age, he'd already started eavesdropping on his father's telephonic trysts with his secretary, and the first signs of insomnia had kicked in.

He tousled Toby's hair.

"Don't!" said Toby, curling his lanky form into a semicircle. If he could, he'd have formed hedgehog p.r.i.c.kles on his back.

"Why?" asked Josh. "Too mature for it?"

"Nah. It's budgit, man."

"It's what?"

"Like, lame."

"Like lame?"

"Stupid."

"Ah! Stupid. Right."

Josh watched as Toby groomed his hair back into position. As Toby lay back and raised his face to the sun, Josh noticed a neat constellation of spots round his mouth. He didn't know when or how to approach the subject of Toby's phone call from school earlier that week, if at all. Toby had seemed fine today, and they'd sat together watching the cricket for about four hours without either of them saying anything about it.

"So," he said eventually, as indifferently as possible, "how's things?"

Toby's volume k.n.o.b went to mute. He turned his head away. "There's this girl," he forced out of his body.

Josh almost had to stop slapping himself on the forehead. Of course! Girls! Toby was thirteen years old-what had he expected? Here he was imagining it would be something between Mum and Dad, something he could perhaps help with, add his expertise to, but no. It was about girls. How could he tell his kid brother that he'd come to the last person on earth who could help him?

"Right," he said seriously.

"She's a ledge."

Josh frowned. A ledge? Was that a good thing? Or a bad thing? He racked his brains for what that word might mean, but kept coming back to a window ledge. Did Toby mean she was "on the shelf"? If so, did that mean she was the ugliest girl in the cla.s.s? Still, it seemed a bit cruel to describe a thirteen-year-old girl as on the shelf.

"A ledge," he repeated thoughtfully.

"Yeah," said Toby. "You know. A ledge. A legend."

"Oh right."

"Like, safe."

Nope. He'd lost him again. "Oh, like, safe," he repeated, hopefully.

Toby sighed heavily. "She's practically famous at school 'cos every boy fancies her."

"Ah, right."

"She asked me out to the cinema."

"Wow!" Josh slapped his brother on the back. "Look at you! My kid brother, eh? Can you give me some dating tips? I always go for the wrong type and am scared I'll end up alone. What do you suggest?"

"And now Todd Carter says he's gonna split my head open."

Josh stopped still. He stared at the gra.s.s. He wanted to kill Todd Carter but he knew that the little s.h.i.+t could probably wipe the floor with him. He thought long and hard. "Oh dear," he said weakly.

Vanessa and the children were eating ice cream for dessert. They'd enjoyed a lunch that had consisted entirely of additives, except Zak who had eaten four whole wheat digestives (albeit covered in golden syrup and chocolate b.u.t.tons). Oh well, thought Vanessa. It's only two days a week.

She was sitting on the floor with her children, watching a tape of Buffy when the front door slammed. Toby and Josh wandered into the room, glanced over and said h.e.l.lo. While Josh went to make a pot of tea, Toby stood behind them, casting a shadow over the happy scene.

Tallulah looked up at him.

"What are those things round your mouth?" she asked, pointing.

"Spots," grunted Toby, eyes on the TV. "You get them if you're good."

"Mummy," whined Tallulah, "I want spots."

"They'll come soon enough, sweetheart."

"I want them now."

"And then you'll get your girl's periods," continued Toby, "and you'll go all ugly."

"Thank you, Toby," said Vanessa.

"No you don't," corrected Ca.s.sandra. "Some women glow. I read it in a book."

"What book was that?" asked Vanessa.

"Yeah, the pretty ones glow," growled Toby. "You two will just go even uglier."

"Thank you so much, Toby," said Vanessa. "Don't you have anything to do, like strangle a hamster or something?"

Having successfully completed his task for the day, Toby joined Josh at the kettle.

Josh wasn't sure if he should say something to Toby about how being loathsome wasn't nice and how it wasn't actually Tallulah's and Ca.s.sandra's fault that his parents split up. He often found himself wondering if he should play the father figure or the friend to Toby. Could he be both? If he started telling Toby that sometimes he was a s.h.i.+t, would Toby then have no one to confide in? He decided to merge the two.

"Here you are," he said, handing Toby a cup of tea, "you little s.h.i.+t."

"Cheers." Toby grinned.

The front door slammed again and moments later Jo and Pippa wandered in, laughing and chatting, both in their gym kit. They'd been to an aerobics cla.s.s at Pippa's gym. Pippa had a.s.sured Jo that they would be able to stay at the back of the cla.s.s and muddle their way through it, but the instructor had insisted Pippa stand right at the front. They'd been compelled to behave and were both knackered.

And then they'd experienced the strangest coincidence. As they'd walked out of the gym, they'd found Gerry standing outside it, reading the timetable, which was pinned to the gla.s.s frontage. He appeared just as surprised to see them as they were to see him, and after a few moments' chat, they all went their separate ways. But it had left a nasty taste in Jo's mouth.

"Did you tell Nick we were going to the gym this morning?" asked Pippa.

"No idea," replied Pippa. "Why?"

"No reason." Jo stopped herself from letting paranoia settle under her skin. Maybe even in London, flukes like that did happen.

They'd planned to change here before spending the afternoon shopping in Crouch End together. Pippa wanted to buy something new to wear for their cinema date with Nick and Gerry, and Jo was happy to accompany her. She missed the shopping trips she used to go on with Sheila.

Toby and Josh, sitting at the kitchen table with their mugs of tea, stared openly. Jo had her hair in high, looped bunches, and there were dark patches of sweat in key areas of her body. Her cheeks were rosy, her eyes bright, and her lips ruby red. When Pippa caught Josh's eye, he looked down at his tea.

Pippa grinned. "Well, h.e.l.lo!" she greeted, hands on hips. "I love the smell of testosterone in the morning!"

Toby almost died there and then, but thankfully, Vanessa, blissfully unaware of any sort of tension other than family tension, b.u.t.ted in.

"Hiya," she said. "I let them watch Friends."

"Oh, right," said Jo.

"And eat chocolate," called out Tallulah. "One day I'm going to have girls' periods and spots!"