The Nanny Part 52

"So let's just forget everything I ever told you about him."

"Hmm."

"Let's all start with a clean slate."

Jo started playing for time.

"Wow," she said slowly. "I don't know what to say."

"You'll get loads more free time for practically the same money," urged Vanessa.

"You could get another job if you wanted, or take up some course or something."

Jo closed her eyes. "I always wanted to study," she said quietly.

"Excellent!" cried Vanessa. "Perfect!"

"Mm," said Jo.

"You must say yes," pleaded Vanessa. "The kids miss you so much. And so do we. d.i.c.k can't do it without you. It's a big step for him, he really wants to be the best father he can be. We've had a long chat, and we're going to make a fresh start."

Aha, thought Jo. It sounded like d.i.c.k had finished his affair and confessed all to Vanessa and this was their solution. It certainly sounded as though something had changed. "Okay." She grinned. "I'll do it. I'll come back."

She laughed at the sound of Vanessa cheering down the line.

"When?" asked Vanessa.

"When do you want me?"

"Tomorrow?"

Jo let out a quick guffaw. Then she decided that was a very good idea. And her mother could now walk up the stairs unaided.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said. "As soon as I can get there."

When Josh returned home that evening from his drive, the kids bombarded him with hugs and kisses and tried to shout over each other. d.i.c.k and Vanessa watched, smiling hopefully, from the conservatory sofa.

"Wait!" shouted Josh, Tallulah in his arms, Zak holding on to one arm, and Ca.s.sie on the other. "One at a time!"

They all shouted again.

"Ca.s.sie!" shouted Josh. "What the h.e.l.l's going on?"

Ca.s.sie jumped up and down.

"You did it! Jo's coming back! Tomorrow! You did it, Jos.h.!.+"

Josh looked up at Vanessa and d.i.c.k.

"Is that true?" he asked.

"Yes but we can explain," said d.i.c.k. "Full-time at first, but then part-time. Just to help me get into the swing of things. We weren't going to do it, but you'll hardly know she's here."

"Great," said Josh, shaking the children off him like rain off a raincoat. "Just great."

"I told her I was wrong about you," rushed Vanessa.

"I couldn't give a d.a.m.n what she thinks about me," said Josh quietly.

d.i.c.k and Vanessa nodded.

"I just think she's a..." He looked at three happy young faces and let his sentence hang in the air.

"Babe?" grinned Toby.

"Oh shut up, Tobe!" flashed Josh. "Why must you always say what you know people don't want to hear? Do you want to be disliked, is that it?" Toby went silent.

"I think Jo's almost as pretty as Mummy," said Tallulah.

"Anyway," said Josh, "I'll be moving out as soon as the flat's been cleared. I would move back to Crouch End, but my room's been rented out."

"We knew you'd be all right about it," said d.i.c.k.

"We wouldn't have done it otherwise," added Vanessa.

"Oh don't worry on my account," said Josh. "I couldn't care less whom you hire."

"Right," said Vanessa.

Josh gave a curt nod. "I'll be in my room," he said, and left them to their evening.

Jo stood for a while in the hall before going back into the kitchen.

"That was Vanessa," she told her parents as she sat back down at the table.

"Oh yes?" said Bill.

"They want me to come back as a full-time nanny first, but then part-time on practically the same pay. Which means I'll be able to support myself at university."

Her parents were quiet.

"When?" asked Hilda eventually.

"I'm going back tomorrow," said Jo. "If that's alright."

Hilda and Bill looked at each other.

"What you asking us for?" said Bill.

Jo sighed dramatically.

"You're a big girl now," he continued, taking another digestive biscuit. "You know what you want."

Hilda smiled. "Better pack," she said quietly.

"Tell you what!" said Bill. "After you've packed and we've washed up the tea things, let's all go down to the Witch's Arms to celebrate."

They stared at him.

"What?" he cried. "Anyone would think I had two heads or something."

They continued to stare at him.

"Alright," he said. "Let's not go, it's all the same to me."

Hilda got up to wash the tea things and Jo rushed upstairs to pack.

Chapter 25.

The next morning, Jo stood in her bedroom, checking her packing for the fourth time. This time there would be no farewell party at the station. There was no possibility that Shaun or Sheila would come to see her off-which funnily enough, just felt more honest than last time, not more sad-and she'd told her parents she'd be able to get the bus to the station because there was so much less to carry. They didn't offer to give her a lift. All part of them allowing her to be a grown-up, she a.s.sumed. She stared thoughtfully at her rucksack as if it might be able to add something useful to the conversation in her head. Instead she found herself remembering the last time she was packing, with the help of Josh, and thinking how different her life was then.

"All packed?" came her mother's voice.

"Think so," she said quietly.

Jo turned as she heard her father appear behind her mother. They looked nice together like that, framed in her doorway. She looked at them.

"I love you both, you know."

Surprised, touched, but most of all embarra.s.sed, her parents left her in peace. Jo smiled in some wonder. All these years, and the morning she leaves home she finally works out how to do it.

The journey to London was hugely frustrating. She hadn't remembered it taking this long. She sat in the train urging it to move faster, although she wasn't quite sure why. Every time she thought of the Fitzgeralds her stomach twisted. She tried to imagine how Josh had reacted when he'd discovered she was coming back. She tried to recall exactly what she'd said to him in the heat of the moment yesterday, but found it impossible to bring back the precise words. She started to consider the possibility that she might find it hard to be in his presence. When he was nice it was wonderful, but when he was the other Josh she found it painful just to be near him. Then she gave herself a stern telling-off. This was her dream come true, the job of a lifetime, and she wasn't going to let him spoil it for her. She would just have to cope with Josh Fitzgerald living in the room next door. It was only short-term, after all.

She had to wait four minutes for the High Barnet tube train, and she paced the platform impatiently. When the train arrived, she jumped on it and paced again. When she got out at Highgate Station, she found she was breaking into a grin as she walked along Southwood Lane, admiring the urban yet cosy houses. As she turned down the High Street her mind flipped briefly to Shaun and Sheila, and she waited for the pang. While waiting, she popped in at Costa Coffee and got herself an espresso. By the time she hit Ascot Drive she was practically running, and she rang the doorbell three times. At the familiar sound of stampeding buffalo, she started hopping from foot to foot.

The door opened wide, and there was d.i.c.k, surrounded by the children. Even the cats had come to see what all the fuss was about.

"h.e.l.lo!" he shouted.

"It's Jo!" yelled Zak. "Mummy! Lula won't give me back my-It's Jo!"

Tallulah raced up to her and gave her legs a big hug, her face nestling into her thighs.

Ca.s.sandra stood in the hall, leaning against the banister, a smile lighting up her face.

"I'm growing my hair to be like yours," she said, stepping forward slightly.

"Gimme a hug, gorgeous," said Jo. Ca.s.sie obeyed. Tallulah giggled, and they all squeezed tighter.

Zak took hold of Jo's hand. "I've got a new dinosaur," he announced, overjoyed that there was someone new to tell. "It's got green eyes and roars and moves its head like the real thing. Dinosaurs are extinct, I like your top."

"How's your mummy?" asked Tallulah, letting go of Jo's legs.

"Much better, thank you, sweetheart," said Jo.

Vanessa came into the hall. Jo braced herself and looked up. No Josh.

"Stop ha.s.sling the poor girl," Vanessa instructed the children. "Jo, welcome back. Please come in. Let me take your coat. Your room is all ready for you. Come and have tea. There's a surprise."

"We've got a cake!" exploded Tallulah.

"Well, there goes the surprise." Vanessa laughed.

They all followed Jo into the kitchen. No Josh.

"Go and put your stuff away, freshen up if you want, Josh is out," called out Vanessa as she set the table.

Jo walked into her room feeling excited and disappointed at the same time. The room was smaller than she remembered. She glanced over to the door separating her room from Josh's. So, she thought. He's out. She didn't know if she was relieved or insulted. All she did know was that she'd spent the entire journey being psyched up to seeing him, and her body was full of nervous energy with nowhere to go but her nerve endings. Mr. Bojangles had nothing on her. Then she heard the front door bang shut, and her nervous energy found its direction with impressive alacrity. She nipped into the bathroom.

Once inside it, she looked at herself in the mirror, tutted, and walked out again. As she did so, Josh walked into her bedroom. She stopped still. He stopped still. The room stopped still.

"I-" she explained.

"Don't mind me," he said, walking through to his room. "I'll be out of your hair in a sec, just forgot something." When he came back she hadn't moved.

"Well, I came back," she said, as he reached her door. "In the end."

He stopped and raised his eyebrows. "Mm?"

"I just...I hope it won't be difficult. For us-for you. I mean-"

"Difficult?" he laughed. "Why on earth should it be difficult?"

"Well, we...you know. I said things-"

He shrugged.

"And so did you," she said.

Another shrug. "So? No big deal. I'd forgotten all about it."