The Nanny Part 56

"No. What?" Jo concentrated hard.

"Well, what usually happens in something like this is that the reason you can't make up is because you can't say the one thing that will sort it all out."

"What's that?"

"That you fancied him rotten but were not going to chuck your boyfriend because he was your safety net. It doesn't mean you're a p.r.i.c.k-tease, it just means you're mad about him."

Jo clenched Pippa's hand tight and nodded.

At precisely the same time, Josh Fitzgerald was discovering the efficacy of the office grapevine. Half an hour earlier he'd resigned. Now at the watercooler he was being congratulated by a bloke he'd only had a nodding acquaintance with in the lift.

He went on to spend the rest of the afternoon answering questions about his future plans, questions posed by everyone from the sandwich boy to his biggest rivals. Most of the office were as delighted for him as they were for themselves. He wasn't going to a better job in one of the top five firms, he was choosing to drop out of the race, and they were all man enough to congratulate him on taking a risk they'd never be stupid enough to take themselves.

Josh saw behind their smiles and was glad because it reminded him why he was leaving. And he was grateful to have so many people choking up his day because it took his mind off other things.

That night he went out for a drink with some mates to celebrate. By the time he got home, amply drunk, Vanessa and d.i.c.k were alone in the kitchen.

"Have a good evening?" asked Vanessa.

"I got rat-a.r.s.ed," said Josh. "So it was good enough for me."

"Don't wake Jo up when you go to bed," said d.i.c.k. "She's only just turned off the light."

Josh nodded slowly, turning slightly to her door.

"Fancy joining us for a nightcap?" asked Vanessa.

"Why not?" he said. "Give her time to fall asleep so I don't wake her."

"Ah, that's good of you," said Vanessa.

Josh shrugged.

"She got the interview for her course," said d.i.c.k, pouring him some wine.

"Did she?" asked Josh, taking his gla.s.s and downing most of its contents. "Great." He nodded firmly.

"And she's moving out," said Vanessa.

Josh nodded again and downed the rest of its contents. He held out his gla.s.s for more.

"How come she's moving out?" he asked.

"She's going to move in with Pippa," said Vanessa.

"When?"

"Next week. Said she just needed a change. Shame."

"Maybe we've been taking advantage of her in the evenings," said d.i.c.k.

"Oh hardly," countered Vanessa. "Anyway, while she's here she might as well take part in the family."

"Exactly," said d.i.c.k. "Now she won't be here, she'll have her evenings to herself. Probably be able to start dating again. She can hardly do that when she's stuck here helping us."

They continued their discussion, hardly noticing Josh.

"Right," he said suddenly. "Night all."

"Night," whispered d.i.c.k and Vanessa, as he opened Jo's bedroom door.

He closed the door behind him and tiptoed through the pitch-black into his room, the sound of Jo's breathing telling him she was out cold. Once inside his room he fell flat on his futon, where he considered the pros and cons of walking past her sleeping form to brush his teeth.

"I think it's a shame," Vanessa told d.i.c.k, leaving her gla.s.s in the sink. "I thought we'd all just started to get used to each other."

d.i.c.k turned off the lights as they left the kitchen.

"Well, she won't be needed as much once I've finished sorting out the shop for Josh." He yawned.

"Yes, but that won't be for a couple of months yet," said Vanessa, following him up the stairs. "He'll still need you there in the day."

"I know. But in the evenings I'll be home. I don't blame her at all." He turned off the landing light and followed Vanessa into their room.

"I'm rather hurt actually," admitted Vanessa.

d.i.c.k put his arm round his wife. "Don't be," he said.

"Okay."

They kissed, then drew apart, fingertips touching as they wandered into the bathroom.

"Any news from the headhunters today?" asked d.i.c.k.

Vanessa shook her head. "I think it may prove more difficult than I thought. Companies are so much smaller than when I was last looking."

They stopped at their his-and-her sinks and looked at each other in the mirror.

"Are you unhappy there?" asked d.i.c.k.

"No," allowed Vanessa. "But I would rather be somewhere else."

"You don't regret taking on this responsibility? I can always-"

"No," she interrupted. "It's my turn to be doing it because I have to. You've done that for long enough."

d.i.c.k watched her as she tried to put her thoughts into words.

"I think I understand more how you were feeling about your work," she said. "I don't have a choice anymore. My job isn't a right, it's a responsibility. It was before-we needed both our incomes-but to me it didn't feel like I had to go in every day, it felt like I wanted to go in every day, because..." She smiled and shook her head at herself. "Because I had a husband. I had an economic safety net. I hadn't realized how much of a difference that made to me, psychologically. It meant I had the luxury of seeing my career as something to fulfill me, not as something to feed my family."

d.i.c.k nodded. "If you want me to get a part-time job-"

"No," insisted Vanessa. "You need to be with the kids, and they need you, and I want you to be happy. It's just...it's just different now."

"What if you can't find another job?"

Vanessa shrugged. "I'll stay where I am. Once I've exhausted all the options I'll have a word with Max, ask for a raise, see what happens."

"There's no rush financially, is there?"

She shook her head. "No. No."

"And your home life should improve. You won't be squeezing the supermarket shop in your lunch hour anymore. Or sorting out the kids in the morning. You can focus on your job, quality time with us, and relaxation."

They smiled at each other.

"We'll get there," said d.i.c.k.

"I know," said his wife.

It was a long night. By the time Josh had finally fallen into a fitful sleep, Jo was wide-awake, considering the pros and cons of moving in with Pippa. By the time she finally fell asleep again, Josh was wide-awake, considering the pros and cons of tiptoeing near Jo's sleeping form, getting himself another drink, and tiptoeing back past her sleeping form. By the time he finally fell asleep again, Jo was wide-awake, considering the pros and cons of knocking on Josh's door and apologizing for slapping him. By the time she finally fell asleep, Josh was wide-awake again, considering the pros and cons of tiptoeing past Jo's sleeping form, having a quick cold shower, and tiptoeing back past her sleeping form. By the time he finally fell asleep again, Jo was wide-awake, considering the pros and cons of knocking on Josh's door, opening it wide enough for her to be able to see him properly, and telling him that she didn't appreciate him always thinking the worst of her. It was hard enough moving out from home-not that he'd know, of course, still living at home-and she didn't need him making it even harder by being so cold with her. By the time she finally fell asleep again, Josh was wide-awake again, considering the pros and cons of tiptoeing past Jo's sleeping form and just taking it from there. By the time he fell asleep again, Jo was awake again, considering the pros and cons of knocking on Josh's door and just taking it from there.

Only moments before Mickey's white-gloved short hand reached the six, they were both out cold.

Later that day, while making the children tea, Jo's mobile rang. She read Gerry's name on it, and made a noise between a scream and a groan. Right, she thought, stirring their pasta sauce. I need to clear this up. She closed her eyes and pictured Josh's reaction to the last time he called.

"Gerry!" she cried more angrily than she'd intended. "Again!"

"Hi," said Gerry slowly. "Shall I call back later?"

"No! I think we have to talk."

"Actually I'm not sure I've got time."

"But you phoned me."

"Yep, but something's just come up."

"Gerry," she began.

"Another time perhaps-"

"I will say this only once," she continued. "I like you. You are really nice. But I do not like you in that way. I was lonely and depressed and trying to prove to-"

"I'll call back at a better time-"

"I do not, repeat not, want to go out with you."

"I think the line's going a bit-"

"I don't fancy you, Gerry."

There was silence from the other end. She closed her eyes.

"Of course you don't," soothed Gerry.

"Thank you."

"Not now. It's a bad time."

"No!"

"I can wait."

"Gerry!"

"Woman's prerogative and all that."

"What?"

"We all know women change their minds a lot," he said good-naturedly. "That's how come they're so clean!"

"Gerry-" she said over his laughter.

"Listen, my mum refused my dad ten times before she said yes."

"Gerry! You're not listening."

"Mind you, she knew her mind over the divorce."

"Gerry, listen to me carefully. The womb does not take up brain s.p.a.ce. They are in completely different places."

"Eh?"

"I know my own mind."

There was a pause. "Right."

"And I really like you, but I don't fancy you now, and I never will."

Another pause, during which Jo was cringing at the cruelty of her words. "Right."

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

"You did actually, yeah."

"Well, I'm really sorry about that. Maybe I like flirting as much as any red-blooded adult. I was very, very grateful to you for being so nice to me, but-"

"Ah s.h.i.+t!" he cried. "Not 'nice.' Don't call me 'nice.'"