The Foundling's Tale: Factotum Part 42

"Why, my brother Clog,

You're clever to flog

such nouse from a head full of clay!"

So hob Clog and hob Log

Ate quick at the jog,

While Nog and his meal strayed to play.

The eeker of Nog

Sunk squealing in sog

was forgot and remains so this day.

A less commonly known variation also includes these two additional didactic verses: Avoid hobs from bog

Keep clear of the sog

Daren't follow the eekerly way.

Walk safe with a dog

Take spurns on a slog,

Though behind walls 'tis best you should stay.

threwd watchful memory of the vitality and purity of the first days, dwelling in both untamed lands and-in varying degrees-in monsters themselves. Though it is rarely, if ever, officially acknowledged, land can return to threwd if left alone, this being known to happen even in neglected parkland copses right in the middle of some little-used city green or garden. See Book One and Book Two.

thrisdina also called tree-hair, an edible moss that grows happily from the very bark of trees, preferring threwdish environments. If water is available, thrisdina alone is able to sustain a person for a fair time, though you might get fed up with the dirty taste rather quickly.

thurifers large conical bra.s.s censers with a many-holed base and open at the top to allow the flow of air, stoked with coals and various burning repellents, typically hung above gates to add olfactory protection to the more physical barrier of the gates themselves.

ticket-of-leave men vinegaroons granted sh.o.r.e leave with a chit that states precisely the period of freedom granted to them and the vessel from which they come. This chit also gives permission to appropriate authorities to return said bearer to his vessel should he still be at liberty beyond the stipulated time.

tidal millwheels once a major source of enginry motivation for the mills using the action of wave and tide, although now their motions are a mere a.s.sistance to the labors of the gastrine works. Half obscured in their wooden housings and tall sea-paddle towers and jutting like great pegs from the water, each is connected to the land by an umbilicus of wooden chutes held aloft on trestled beams.

tocsin watchtower hung with warning bell common to many rural towns.h.i.+ps, the lookouts on watch for enemies both monstrous and human.

tortue among some dandidawdlers is the southern fas.h.i.+on of wearing neckerchiefs of excessive volume and "height," reaching up even under the jaw and ears.

transmogrificate to transmogrify, that is, to make a person into a lahzar.

trefoiled heart heart-shape with a reversed lobed leaf within it and meaning "stoutness" or "courage"; most commonly seen in the sigil of Naimes.

trestle stepladder made of two beams fixed in an A-frame with horizontal rungs set at intervals up it.

troubardiers most heavily proofed of all the pediteers, troubardiers don proof-steel armor and wield heavy, bludgeoning weapons to crack open their foe. In battle they walk at a measured pace, weathering all shots and blows until they close with the enemy ranks and wreak great harm. See Book One and Book Two.

tumblehome billet and infirmary for old, fully retired or infirm vinegaroons; paid for by annual subscription from every sailor's pocket, his pay and prize-money docked automatically. Such a fund is actually rather large, and you can be sure that the more dishonorable bureaucrats frequently siphon sums of the funds for their own ends.

Tungid viskiekduzar proper Heilgolundian name for fistdukes.

twenty sous just for the record, 20 sous is worth 320 sequins or 6,400 guise. This is all pure arithmetic, however, for in practice having 320 sequins is not quite the same as having 20 sous-though technically these are an identical amount. Folks consider the higher-denomination currencies as having greater value in themselves, so having sous is better than having sequins and far better than having guise, even by the bagful. Should you turn up, say, at your favorite wayhouse, perhaps the Frantic Mile on the way to Proud Sulking, where best board for a week is 1, 2, 0 (1 sou, 2 sequins, 0 guise), it might end up costing 400 guise or more if that is all you had, though the arithmetically proper amount is only 360 guise. Such practice is disallowed by law but is not strictly policed and, as it is founded in such old concepts of money in its various parts, some lofty modern edict is unlikely to alter it.

Two Sisters, the ~ * also the Twin Sisters, and among the more learned known as the Beladice; Radica and Dudica, twin girls and ancient citizens of a younger Brandenbra.s.s, they are famed for defending a stile of the city's outer defenses from a theroscading horde come to steal and eat the goats and cows and herders in pasture there. The name given to gates reputedly built on the very spot where they conducted their glorious defense, their statues above the gates of Brandenbra.s.s are sometimes referred to as the Beladice or the Sorori. This latter name comes from twin girls, Io and Ix, who are reputed to have helped the Attics mightily in an occasion of need, their names now given to the twin planets that circle closest to Eudops, the sun. * the western gate in the Broadwall, Brandenbra.s.s' outer curtain wall, possessing two lancet-arched tunnels each a hundred feet long that burrow right through the foundations of the fortress, with ironbound draws at both ends and a system of four portcullis to block and trap unwanteds within.

U.

undercrofts secret cellars and hidden buried places.

unperspicuous not possessing the heightened senses of a leer, or not being able to interpret the sensations that come through a sthenicon or olfactologue.

unsweetened refers to the fact that an edible sea-caught creature has not been previously dulcified; seafood brought straight from the water.

urchin(s) historied sources cite that urchins are specifically the more benevolent of the monster-lords, seeking to protect and aid everymen, with the wretchins being the more malevolent and the petchinins seeking to be left in peace to achieve their own ends. See Book One.

urticant(s) technical name for any stinging script such as the vast collection of repellents.

V.

vaingloria also called a fanfaronade or boasting-book; a collection of doc.u.ments stating a teratologist's merit. Much of the most glowing doc.u.mentation is written by panegyrists, pens skilled at turning, with a few clever twists of phrase, small courage into great feats and a little action into conquest. As an added glory, more successful teratologists will have ill.u.s.trations of themselves in action, or a study of the beast they slew, or both, drawn either from their own description or by an eager imagineer hired to sketch the drama after the event. Written papers commonly included in a vaingloria are as follows: * vaunts-private letters of satisfaction made out by pleased individuals seeking, in their enthusiasm, to enhance a teratologist's worthiness. If necessary these can act as proxy for a teratoid's head, when getting such an object back to the knavery is not possible or practicable; * panegyrics-boasts of feats commissioned by the teratologists themselves upon the slaughter of a particular beast and written by professional panegyrists. These are trained in penning the best-sounding boasts: not too much bl.u.s.tering, yet enough showing away to impress. Panegyrists are often asked to accompany a teratologist to see the victory for themselves so that they might write of it fully. If this is not possible, a panegyrist will want to see the head of the slain beast as proof at least and then pen a description of the chase from the teratologist's own account; * advocations-official certificates of merit, usually given upon the happy completion of a writ or singular.

vauqueline restorative draught for righting an imbalance of sanguine humours, given to those who have suffered the loss of much blood.

vent(s) in its most basic form, a cloth soaked in neutralizing potives typically called dotes and fastened about the neck to be pulled over the face as needed as protection against the poisonous gases of a skold, scourge, fume-exhaling monster or even the reek of the sea. Thin-worked leathers and other hides are also used in such a way and are called loup mielles; they make for better protection yet are more restrictive of breathing.

vin cheap, readily available wine.

vinaigrette tin, pewter or silver case often elaborately decorated or inlaid with precious items and used for carrying scented powders or ground perfumes to be sniffed or otherwise inhaled whenever any mephitic odor is encountered. Although in part such a practice is a missish distaste of bad smells, it has a genuine purpose, for ever since the advent of lahzars and the processes of surgery that make them, a common awareness of bad and contagious airs has proliferated. Therefore the sweetening of any foul stink is held to protect you from the contraction of many ailments frequent in squalid places.

vin-compte wine list and bill-of-fare combined, offered only at the best eateries and listing only the most expensive dishes.

vinegar pie pie made from the less useful bits of fish and eels and other edible sea animals, seasoned and spiced and cooked down into a stew and placed in pastry.

vinothe hard-water-strong drink-made of raisins fermented in a honey spirit, smooth in the mouth, sweet yet clear, like a breath of raisin-perfumed air. Originally from Turkmantine or some other Foul-side region up north, it was brought back to the Soutlands by wide-faring vinegaroons and happily accepted into their culture.

Violette Lune scourge teratologist of wide and violent notoriety, coming once from Tunes and given to wearing purple fascins and spectacles of the same hue.

vizer's h.o.a.rd vizers are semi-independent lords of Turkmantine border provinces. They are famous for possessing great h.o.a.rds of jewels and wealth by which they fund the armies that help maintain their semi-independence.

W.

weed-bunts small flat-bowed, sharp-prowed wooden sailers used by kelpmen to cut through and gather kelp, matted algaes and other sea weeds for either disposal or use, keeping common lanes clear of screw-fouling growths. A ubiquitous sight in any harbor, their operators labor in the hope that they might find some chance treasure churned up from the deeps by storms or the t.i.tanic struggles between the great beasts that dwell in the crus.h.i.+ng dark.

whip-stock long tail of hair completely bound in ribbon but for a small tuft at the end.

Whit, Greenleaf modern composer of Brandenbra.s.s continuing in the lively modes of Stumphelhose (which is why Rookwood confuses the two) despite a growing taste for more regal and somber music among the gentry.

Widden, the ~ originally one of the minor yet feared tribes of the Piltmen, they are now a violent and perpetually disgruntled group impatient for the return of Pilt greatness and independence. More a self-justifying rabble of brigands, their ideas far outstrip their actual achievements, and many who call themselves so are scarcely the heirs of Pilt glory at all.

wigbold(s) wit who prefers complete anonymity, refusing to make any signifying spoors or other marks and covering his or her telltale hair loss with all manner of wig-hence the name. Some wear pieces so outlandish they are a signifier in themselves; yet other wigbolds dress as normally as is fas.h.i.+onable, deadly lahzars walking about unheeded by the unsuspecting.

Windspect Folia small countenancy (the hereditary holding of a count) northeast of Coddlingtine Dell.

wine euphemistic name for the vinegar seas, from the notion of real vinegar coming from wine.

Wood Hole home to a mult.i.tude of out-of-the-way hamlets of hillvale goatherds, beekeepers, reticent peltrymen, parts-gatherers and other furtive souls that reputedly populated these ranges.

worm a wooden shaft about seven to nine feet long, ending in an iron "corkscrew" and used every half-a-dozen shots to pull out any debris left in the breech of a cannon that might otherwise foul the vent hole and prevent firing.

wretchin(s) the darkest of the monster-lords, actively seeking the destruction of everymen, often gathering about themselves hordes of lesser untermen like an army to hara.s.s and harry people. At certain times in history a single wretchin or-more often, a congress of wretchins-has managed to coerce enough of their brother monsters to pose a genuine threat to more than the pastoral fringes of man's domains. Often then, it is only the intervention of the urchins that has prevented utter ruin to some city or region.

writ public or bureaucratical version of a Singular Contract, posted by governmental agencies seeking a.s.sistance with a monster.

written pilot "map" made of written descriptions rather than diagrams or chartings and often a part of the paperwork of a writ or Singular Contract.

X.

Nothing for "X" now? Surely this is not possible!

Y.

yearnling someone who wants to and is preparing to become a lahzar. In their eagerness they can sometimes dress and mark themselves as if they already were, running the risk consequently of being accused as fakehands, false lahzars-everymen pretending to be ubelmen. Lahzars take very grimly to this, and some even go so far as to rough the offending soul-others even kill them!

Z.

zin cool, sharp white wine from the vineyards of the Basket of north-eastern Worms.

(What do you know, finally an entry for "Z"!) APPENDIX 1(A).

THE 16-MONTH CALENDAR OF THE HALF-CONTINENT ~WITH CHANGES TO MONTHLY ORDERS AS DECREED BY ORDER OF IMPERIAL BULL EW7~1601.

APPENDIX 1(B).