Long View - Zelde M'Tana Part 35

High-pitched, he spoke. "Having studied under Captain Parnell for some months, I am now ready to a.s.sume his position." Then he laughed, and two of his officers followed suit.

With no memory of getting up, Zelde stood over the man. "Talk s.h.i.+t about me all you want, Harger. But put any more onto Ragir Parnell, you better have your knife out! You'll need it."

Dopples motioned at her, but before he could speak she was back in her chair.

Torra reached both hands to squeeze one of Zelde's. Dopples slapped his chair arm.

273.

"Harger-in my own quarters I'll see courtesy, or you leave. Is that clear?"

Red-faced, Harger said, "I didn't mean-"

"Then the matter is dropped. Zelde?" She nodded. Not that she was forgetting the insult-but this was Dopples' show. He said, "Harger ill.u.s.trated the problem, though. Zelde M'tana is fit to be officer or Captain of any s.h.i.+p- except this one."

Zelde looked to him. "You don't say that because I'm any kind of threat to you. So why do you?"

Like a schoolchild, Lera Tzane raised a hand. Dopples nodded, and she said, "It's because you came out of cargo and advanced past ratings who wanted promotion.

And they do think it's because you were with Parnell. When you were Third Hat, and Acting Second, they could take it. Captain, they can't."

Zelde shook her head. "You was in line-you turned it down. If you hadn't of done that-"

Again, Dopples' palm slapped down. "We're not talking blame-I'm not, at least- we're talking about now. You've agreed that, s.h.i.+p's shares or not, I'm better qualified to command." She nodded. "And since you were Captain- and still are, until landing-I don't think you can revert to Second. Because a lot of people won't let you."

She thought of Sam Dargan. "Because I've had to use authority I won't have, then-I'll get pushed at. That what you mean?" She shrugged. "I can take it, Dopples."

The man shook his head; he looked unhappy. "You can, yes. But the s.h.i.+p can't.

There's been too much trouble already."

She felt her face go stiff, like wood. "What you want me to do-go unrated? Or back to cargo, maybe? I-"

His hand moved to push the words away. "Nothing like that, Zelde. I propose that we-the whole s.h.i.+p-buy out your command shares. And you get off at Fair Ball, hold- ing enough wealth to buy a good berth on some other s.h.i.+p, when it comes there. A fresh start." He smiled. "I'll write you one h.e.l.l of a good reference-because that's the kind of job you've done."

Others argued; in the shock of it, Zelde couldn't keep track. Dopples called a vote. She didn't notice who voted 274.

which way-she was looking down at the deck, but not seeing it. She heard him say, "Then it's five to three in favor, M'tana abstaining as indicated." And Lera's voice: "I'm sorry, Zelde-but he's right."

Dopples again. "There's a problem." Is that right? "Your shares, Zelde-buying you out will leave the s.h.i.+p about fifty thousand Weltmarks short, dealing for fuel and cargo. I-"

She found herself standing, not sure who to face. So she faced the door and moved toward it. "Why don't you pa.s.s your f.u.c.king hat? I need to p.i.s.s, anyway."

She would have slammed the door, but her hand missed it.

She locked herself in quarters and poured bourbon to her gla.s.s's brim-but after one swallow and another sip, she sat and looked at it. Could have used some ice, but too much work, getting it. When the knock came, she first ignored it and then shouted, "Stay the h.e.l.l out!" Whoever. . . .

"Zelde-it's Torra. Please-"

Oh, what the h.e.l.l? She let Torra in, and got hugged-not kissed, though, because she turned her face away-and then was sitting while Torra held her. "Zelde?"

"Oh, Utie-s.h.i.+t!"

"He's really trying to do what's best, Zelde-Dopples, I mean."

With a shudder, Zelde sighed. "Yeah, I know. But-" "Come back, won't you? And give him a chance?" "What for? He's got it all working. I don't need it." Torra tightened her hug. "He needs you." "To chop my own head off? Why should I?" Gently, Torra Defose shook her. "Not that-not at all. It's to set the terms-which does have to be done before we land."

"He can do it himself-like the rest of it." A hand under Zelde's chin brought her head up. "He won't, though." Serious, Torra's face was. "Unless you agree-and understand what you're agreeing to-Dopples will let the whole thing go hang. And the s.h.i.+p can't afford that."

So, She took a swallow-and one more-of bourbon, then went and filled the gla.s.s with ice. "All right. Let's go."

275 Going into Dopples' quarters, Zelde looked straight ahead-not at any face. "You throw a lousy party, Dopps, when I got to go get my own drink." Where she'd sat before, she sat again. "Now where was we? Something about fifty thousand Weltmarks?" How much of her shares that was, she didn't know. But d.a.m.ned if she'd ask-not if it put her off the s.h.i.+p barea.s.s.

"Well-" Before, Dopples had been right on top of stuff; now he didn't sound sure of himself. "That amount is what's giving us trouble, buying you out. And I know how you feel. I-"

"No such a thing, do you know!" Her voice grated. "I come back on account of Defose says I should. So get to what counts."

"Yes." She didn't look up, but she knew how his face would be-and mostly, she quit being mad. "Forget the fifty thousand, Zelde-you'll get your full due. The only place we can short ourselves is fuel, but with a judicious choice of destination-"

Without intending, she threw her gla.s.s. Missed him, but not by much. "Cut the s.h.i.+t!" Surprised, she saw him grinning. She said, "How much of my shares is that fifty thousand?" Then, trying not to let on how much she didn't know, "Nearest percent, I mean."

Going by Dopples' face, she hadn't fooled him any. "Twelve, a little under. A considerable portion, I grant you."

She thought fast. "But I can afford it. I'll give you the fifty thousand."

She saw Harger smile; he tipped up his belt-hung figure machine and punched b.u.t.tons. "By the Agowa formula-"

"Stuff your formula in your ear, Harger! Yon don't get any. This is my free gift- right?" Dopples nodded. "Then it goes where I say." She looked around, at all of them. "I take care of my own. Four thousand, each, to Turk Kestler and Rooster Hogan. Then, by the Agowa ratios-you figure that part, will you, Dopples?-the rest to the Control Hats, only. Lera Tzane, Gilman Charvel, and Torra Defose." She looked at Dopples. "They're short on shares for their rank-you're not. You see?"

The man nodded. Harger tried to argue-and Zelde saw Juvier make his boss shut up-but Dopples adjourned the 276.

meeting. Soon-but not soon enough for Zelde-the others left. Except Torra; looking uncomfortable, she stood to one side.

Zelde went to her. "Torra, where you stay tonight is your business. But right now I got to talk to Dopples. Alone."

When the woman had left, Cyras Adopolous sat like a statue. "Something more on your mind, M'tana?"

"One question. You wanting me off the s.h.i.+p. Anything about Torra, would that be?"

The way his face went, she knew she'd guessed wrong. He said, "I expect that she'll probably go with you. But you realize-Zelde, the s.h.i.+p comes first."

That instant, she loved him all the way. But, except to reach out a handshake, she didn't move. "I should of known, Dopps. Had to ask, though. Well-" A lot she'd like to say, but no way to say it; she shrugged. "Good luck to you-and to the s.h.i.+p."

She let go of his hand: time to leave. Then she turned back. "You decide yet, what you'll name it? None of my business, but I'd like to know."

At first he didn't look like talking; then he said. "I have a name in mind, yes.

Strike Three." He touched her shoulder. "If you don't understand, it's too long a story." She stood, puzzled. He said, "This much, then. Three turnovers of command. And now the s.h.i.+p is out-out free."

"If you say so." She made a salute-wave and got out of there.

In quarters, she saw Torra sprawled naked across the bed. She had a gla.s.s of whiskey-dark, no ice in it. Half full, it sat. Her eyelids twitched once-the only sign that she might have heard Zelde come in.

Zelde cleared her throat. "How come you're the boozer around here?"

Squinting, picking up the gla.s.s, Torra sat up. "Why should you have the monopoly? Maybe things hurt me, too."

Might's well be drunk, as the way I am. Zelde poured a gla.s.s for herself and took a good slug, and began getting out of her clothes, laying them across a chair. "All right. Let's talk."

Torra said nothing. Zelde sniffed. "Lots of help, aren't 277.

you? It's my a.s.s that got bounced off the s.h.i.+p. You didn't listen?"

Torra sat her gla.s.s down-too hard; it sloshed over, a little. She curled one arm over her face. "Zelde, I-"

And of a sudden, Zelde knew. "You're staying on with Dopples." Silence. "Can't blame you, I guess. It's just that-oh, p.i.s.s on it!" She ran into the bathroom, slammed the door hard, locked it. Lose everybody, all at once!

But, like it or not, that's how it was. So she came out to where Torra Defose lay, curled up facing the wall, and said, "So I wasn't fair. But turn over and talk now, or get your a.s.s the h.e.l.l out."

Eyes wide. Torra looked up. "You do understand?"

"Like h.e.l.l I do."

Torra reached to grip Zelde's shoulders. "Do you think I want to lose you?" No answer to that; Zelde waited. "You went up this s.h.i.+p like a squirrel up a tree.

There'll be other s.h.i.+ps for you-and other people." Shuddering, she sighed. "Dopples needs me-just as Parnell needed you. He has no one else."

And me? She began to pull away, but Torra sat up and leaned to hold her close, cuddling her head against her chest. "It'll be all right, Zelde. You'll see. I-"

Things blurred for Zelde; she felt her mind closing down-and she fought it. She tore loose from the older woman and stood, panting. No! Not this time! She shook her head unti l her vision cleared, and managed to say, "No, don't-" She backed away, seeing Torra look hurt and puzzled. When she could talk, she said, "Not mad at you. Don't give me comfort, is all." And not sure why she said it-except, seemed like she had to.

Quiet-voiced, Defose said, "Everyone needs comfort sometimes, Zelde. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Headshake. "Not that, either. It's just-I-" But she couldn't explain; she didn't know. Zelde put a grin on her face and hoped it worked; she was breathing better now, anyway.

Now she went to Torra and pulled her up standing and hugged her; she did the hugging, so that was all right. "All right, Torra. I'll take that, what you said about you and Dopps, for later. This minute, though-any reason why we got to let now go to waste?"

278.

Maybe it was their last time, Zelde thought-maybe not. Either way, though-for sure, they weren't wasting it.

As at Terranova, Lera Tzane landed the s.h.i.+p. Dopples was sitt ing backup: on Lera's other side, Zelde played figurehead and no more. n.o.body had announced anything, but she felt that everyone knew she wasn't really Captain now-or even part of the s.h.i.+p. When the landing checkout was done, she got up to leave.

Dopples said, "If you're not in a hurry-"

"Happens I am, that."

"The local bigwigs will be boarding, to greet us. Stay and get introduced. There's no point in your debarking like a tourist, not knowing any of the people who can be of use to you."

Against hurt and anger she thought, He's trying to help. She tried to smile, couldn't, and shook her head. Then she said, "All right-I guess I can stand it if you can. How soon?"

He told her. She had time to visit quarters first. There, she looked at what she'd planned to take with her-twice as much as she could carry, and for this she wouldn't ask help. So she unpacked, and sorted through again. Souvenirs of Parnell-how many had to do with her! They'd never exchanged gifts; all that his things could mean to her was that in her memory he mustn't die. Looking through all of it, trying to decide, she hardly noticed that she had to wipe her eyes a lot.

At the end she kept a few pictures, a blazoned scarf- things like that. She'd already set aside what could revert to the s.h.i.+p, and she added to that lot. The rest of it-valuable, maybe, to his fami ly if he had one-but no chance in time or s.p.a.ce that it could ever reach them. Crying openly now and not bothering to hide it, she put all that was left over into the disposal bin.

Ragir, love, I'm sorry-here, there's not a way to do you right.

One last look around quarters, then she carried her gear to the galley-a good place to leave it while she met the groundhogs.

Hungry, of a sudden, she picked up a tray and went to the service counter. But from behind her, Lera Tzane 279.

called. "Don't bother. Dopples is putting on a spread for the locals; we can eat there."

Why not? She followed Lera to Dopples' place. The group was smaller than she expected-from Engineering, only Harger, and neither Charvel nor Defose were there. Just the four of them, plus groundsiders.

The "local admiral" was older than his voice sounded, either on-screen or in person. He'd been tall once; now he stooped. Captain Cannes, his name was-but captain of what, n.o.body said.

Marisa Hanen, Cannes' a.s.sistant, stood as tall as Zelde and bulked wider-but not much of her size looked like fat. She had blue eyes in a round face, and wispy blonde hair above a very high forehead. She spoke in a soft, clear voice and shook hands firmly.

Dopples saw everybody fed, all right, and added three bottles of Terranovan wine.

He and the visitors carried most of the talk; Zelde didn't much put her mind to it, unti l he said, "Zelde M'tana, over here-she's leaving the s.h.i.+p, so we're buying out her shares. Captain Cannes, do you have any particular advice for her, while she's on Fair Ball?"

Fingers worrying his fringe of white hair, the old man looked at her. "Between s.h.i.+ps, will you be? Or planning to stay? 1 began here myself, that way, some years back. Decided I was getting too old to play tag with UET any longer, and set up here with the proceeds from my s.h.i.+p's shares. But-if you don't mind my saying so- you seem a little young, yet, to do that."

I like this one. "I'm between s.h.i.+ps, if I can find one to buy into." He looked puzzled; she said, "Captain Adopo-lous told you, over the screen, 1 caught command at a troubled time-him down hurt, and all. Put some noses out of joint, I guess. Now he's up to it again, I'd be trouble, staying on. So I'm not."

He asked what her shares came to; the answer made him whistle. "We have to credit Weltmarks at standard-only sound basis for trade. But three hundred and fifty thousand-strictly on paper, bringing no real wealth to back it-you splash that into our local economy all at once, and we'll have problems."

She didn't know what to say. Dopples cleared his throat. "It's buying into a new s.h.i.+p that Zelde wants to do. But I was hoping you might advise her on short-term invest- 280.

ments-very liquid-to provide living expenses while she's here."

Captain Cannes' expression relaxed. "Oh, surely. The most convenient, likely, would be short-term loans to the Port Authority itself-payable on demand if you'd accept, partially, commodities in lieu of credits. Since fuel's a commodity and the Port controls it, you'd have no problem in dealing with any s.h.i.+p. Not that we get many here. You could be in for quite a wait."

Marisa Hanen leaned forward. "Ms. M'tana-what sort of accommodations, living arrangements, did you have in mind?"

She didn't know! Except on the s.h.i.+p, she'd never lived anyplace at all, on her own.

Just with the Kids. What . . . ?

She saw Dopples cover a smile. He said, "s.h.i.+p's people aren't used to thinking in groundside terms. What would you recommend?"

Scratching at her hairline, the big woman made a pout- for a moment, she looked like a fat baby. "There's an inn, a little this side of town and toward Main River. It serves meals-and has a few small units behind the main building, complete for cooking. Either doing your own or paying the help to do for you." Now she smiled.

"Or would you like to stay with me for a few days, while you look around and decide?"

Wouldn't know how to act! "I do thank you, Ms. Hanen-but I expect I better start right out on my own. You see?"