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"Try it now, la.s.s," he said, turning his back to me. I had to stand on my tippy toes to reach his neck, but I reached around in front of him with my dagger and just as I was about to make a tentative practice strike, he reached up and grabbed my wrist, jerking it hard and pulling me around to face him. "Now what do ye do, la.s.s?" he questioned, squeezing my wrist painfully, causing me to drop the dagger in surprise.
Adrenaline coursed through my veins and my heart beat faster. Devon loomed over me and yelled, "Nae what do ye do?" his brogue thick, his grip on my wrist painful. I did the only thing that I could think to do. It was a matter of instinct. I brought my knee up hard and kneed him in the b.a.l.l.s with all of my might. He released my wrist and doubled over in pain. A look of shock overtook his face. Caught up in the moment, I took his advice and ran like h.e.l.l. I then realized that this was just practice, and I had just kneed my teacher in a most sensitive area.
"Oh my G.o.d! Are you alright? I'm so sorry!" I pleaded, rus.h.i.+ng back to Devon's side.
He held out a hand, palm out, pus.h.i.+ng me away. He wheezed, turning away and slowly straightening to his full height. He exhaled sharply and then turned back around. My face must have been the color of the blood that once again saturated his white s.h.i.+rt. I was embarra.s.sed beyond belief.
His eyes met mine and he smiled a somewhat painful smile, still breathing heavily as he recovered from my unexpected blow. "That's a braw la.s.s," he said, smile broadening across his face. "That is exactly what ye should have done. It's just that I didna actually expect ye to carry though with it," he chuckled, coughing slightly as he struggled to regain control.
"I'm so sorry, Devon! Are you alright?" I said, wanting to die from embarra.s.sment.
"I'm fine. I've been better, but I'm fine. Honestly, I'd fancied that ye might someday touch me there, but that's not exactly what I had envisioned," he admitted brazenly.
Oh my.
I knew that my face had turned a whole new shade of crimson. The man had openly admitted his attraction to me and I was taken aback by the boldness of his statement.
Saving me from responding to his comment, he gingerly regained control and jumped back into his teaching. "There's one more thing that ye must ken about fighting with a dirk. I want ye tae ken what it feels like when ye hit bone so that if ye get the chance for a second attack, ye can adjust and meet yer mark." He walked over towards a towering pine tree and ordered me to follow. "Strike this tree with all yer might, and ye'll ken what it feels like to land a blow against solid bone."
I settled the dirk in my hand and adjusted my grip. "How hard?" I asked, unsure of what exactly he wanted me to do.
"As if yer life depended on it. As if ye meant to kill a man."
I drew the dirk back and stabbed the tree with all of my might, burying the tip of the dirk into the flesh of the tree. Pain reverberated through the bones of my arm, causing me to release my grip on the dagger and yelp with the surprise of my pain.
"Now pull out yer dirk," Devon demanded. "If yer lucky enough to get a second attack, ye must be ready. Don't be stunned by the pain, expect it."
I reached up and pulled the dagger from the tree, wiggling it to release it from its wooden entrapment. My arm was numb and tingly, still not yet recovered from the initial pain of the blow.
"Why didn't you tell me it would hurt like that?" I said angrily, glaring up at him.
"Because ye wouldna have used all of yer might. I wanted ye to ken what it feels like so if need be, ye'll be prepared for a real fight."
"Obstinate man! You could have at least warned me!" I said, gingerly rubbing my sore arm. I smacked him playfully on the bicep, noticing that it really did hurt to use my arm.
He smiled radiantly at my reaction. He was so beautiful and when he smiled at me like that it unnerved me.
I can't think when you look at me like that.
Nodding in approval and looking quite pleased with himself, Devon sheathed his dirk and ended my lesson.
"Now ye've kicked me in the ballocks and taken a needle to my skin, but I feel better knowing that ye might be able to protect yerself if need be. The dirk is yers to keep, have it with ye always, tucked into yer garter." Apparently, Devon was ending my lesson, feeling that I had accomplished enough to get me by for now.
"I'm not wearing a garter," I said truthfully. The garment seemed useless, and I much preferred having my legs bare under the voluminous fabric of my dress.
"Christ woman," he muttered under his breath. "It's as if ye were sent here tae taunt me, tae drive me mad. No wearing a garter?" he said shaking his head in dismay, raking his hand through his dark hair. Put it in the pocket of yer dress then, but carry it with ye always."
He walked back towards the horses and busied himself with readying them for the ride back to the keep.
"Thank you," I said simply.
He froze, stopped what he was doing and turned around to face me. "I'll no have ye left unprotected again. If I canna protect ye myself, which I fully intend tae do, I must be certain that ye can take care of yerself."
I was struck by the possessiveness in both his statement and the tone of his voice. I felt his gaze settle on my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and my pulse quickened along with my breathing. His eyes were intense, desire clouding them as he openly looked at my body. I held his gaze, challenging him.
"I am not yours to protect." I said, thinking of how hard I had fought to be a free woman, only to feel myself becoming trapped again by my feelings for Devon McClain My statement was a futile attempt to deny my attraction to this alluring Highlander. Truth be told, I wanted nothing more than for Devon to protect me. I wanted to feel safe and indulge in the new feelings that he stirred deep within me.
"At least ye might be able tae do it on yer own then," he said, untying the tether that bound the dapple horse to the saddle of his stallion. He tossed me the reins of the dapple mare and effortlessly mounted his own horse. He spurred the stallion into motion and headed back towards the keep, leaving me to wrestle with not only my conflicting emotions, but the fact that I had no idea of how to get onto a horse, let alone ride one.
Devon avoided me like the plague for the next two days. It was agony. I saw him several times as I went about my business at the keep, each time he thoroughly ignored me, pretending as if I was not even there. His rebuff stung, but I knew that removing the temptation provided by his presence allowed me to focus on what I needed to do. I needed to escape this place before I was found out to be a fraud. I lived in constant fear that visitors to the castle would turn out to be relatives of the real Katherine Berks.h.i.+re and that they would expose me for what I was: an impostor. I had resolved that it would be better to devise a plan to leave the McClain keep and the rouse of safety that it provided. Now all I had to do was come up with this marvelous plan for my escape, which was proving to be much more difficult than I had expected.
I needed to figure out just exactly where I would go when I left the castle. I needed to plan quickly, because I feared that I wouldn't get away with posing as Ms. Berks.h.i.+re for much longer.
"Ye fancy her, do ye no?" Leti asked as she settled down into the seat on the bench next to her brother. The tables and benches had been moved to the edges of the great hall to allow room for music and dancing in the center of the room. Devon sat scowling, watching the merriment, taking deep draughts from his mug of ale, and watching Kate.
"I'd like to tup her, if that's what ye mean," he said, making a mental note of how beautiful, how alluring she looked tonight. Watching her twirl through the crowd on the arms of his clansmen, jealousy flared as he watched one warrior laugh and whisper honeyed words into Kate's ear.
"It's more than that, I can tell. I've never seen ye look upon a la.s.s in such a way. She intrigues ye," Leti called him out.
Devon resigned to be more careful. He would need to be much more careful, given that his sister had picked up on his interest in the la.s.s so easily. He hadn't imagined that it was so obvious. Devon could not afford for Collin to come to the same realization as his sister had.
"The thought of her warming my bed intrigues me," he said, denying that there was anything more than a physical attraction that he held for her. "If Da were not already dead, I a.s.sure ye that this h.e.l.lcat would have been the death of him when he tried to bed her."
"I'd rather not think about that," Leti said, looking away and swirling the wine that filled her gla.s.s as the color rose in her face. Devon knew that his prim and proper sister would drop this inquisition when he turned the topic to love making. It was a topic that she was both unfamiliar with and embarra.s.sed about.
The song came to an end and Devon watched as the lively dancers began to move from the floor, headed towards the tables for refreshments before the next song would begin. The musicians struck up the first notes of a song with a quick beat and ale mugs were slammed back onto the tables as the dancers fled back to the floor. Kate's hand was grabbed by a young man named Gavin, and he pulled her smiling behind him out onto the floor.
An attractive flush had spread over her cheeks and as she was swept around the floor, she giggled and smiled at Gavin. This was enough to make Devon steaming mad. He watched from his seat on the bench as Kate's auburn hair glistened in the firelight and her b.r.e.a.s.t.s bobbed seductively up and down. He decided right then that her dress was much too revealing. Each time she leaned over, her b.r.e.a.s.t.s almost spilled from the confines of her dress.
He hated the way that Gavin's eyes were upon her. He hated the way that she was smiling at another man. Hands way too low on her hips, on the precipice of resting on her bottom, Gavin leaned forward and whispered something into Kate's ear, which caused her to put a hand to the pale skin of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s and giggle. Devon fought the desire to kill Gavin right there on the dance floor.
Kate was so d.a.m.n beautiful it pained him. He had no claim to her. She should have been his father's bride, but still he wanted her. She deserved better. Better than him and better than he could ever provide for her. Let her go, he thought to himself. Forget her, he commanded himself.
Gavin held her too close during the dance, his desire for her was evident. Devon clenched his fists on the table, rage boiling within him. He watched as Gavin spun Kate to the rhythm of the music, twisting her so that her back was flush against his front. The he did something that nearly got him killed. He kissed her. Softly, right beneath her ear, he kissed her as he held her close.
Devon reacted in an instant, possessiveness overtaking him. He pushed back the bench, nearly unseating Leti, and sprung into action, ready to leap over the table and punch Gavin squarely in the face. It was Kate's reaction that stopped him, saving Gavin's life. Gavin's kiss melted the smile from her face and she froze. She turned and smacked him hard across the face, leaving him with a look of awe as she sauntered away.
The song ended and Devon stood, watching Kate slip through the crowd, hips swaying delicately as the threaded her way through the people and made her way out of the room. He noticed how the men in the crowd watched her as well, jealousy setting his blood on fire. At once, he was in motion, following her from the room. He would make sure that none of these would be suitors would bother her. He would make sure that she was safe whether or not she deemed his protection necessary.
He trailed behind her up the stairs, glancing quickly over his shoulder to ensure that none of the men followed her. He gave a glare to the crowd for good measure. If there was one thing that Devon McClain could be when he wanted to, it was intimidating.
My breathing was heavy and my skin was flushed from the exertion of dancing. It had felt wonderful to lose myself in the music, in the rhythm, to allow an array of men that I didn't know take control of me and spin me around the dance floor.
The sound of boots on the stairs behind me startled me and I turned around quickly, starting into the same pair of green eyes that I had noticed were watching me all night.
"What are you doing?" I hissed, surprised by the emotions that spilled forth when I finally came face to face with Devon McClain. He had gone out of his way to ignore me for the past two days and I just realized that this had infuriated me.
"Following ye tae yer room, tae be sure that ye get there safely." Devon said, scowling.
"I've told you once already that I am not in need of your protection," I said as I turned and stomped up the stairs.
"I don't think yer aware of just what ye need, woman," he murmured between gritted teeth. "The keep is not always a safe place for a la.s.sie to be unescorted at night, especially a la.s.s who has been using her womanly wiles on sae many men while dancing," he scowled as he followed me up the stairs.
"What are you talking about, Devon McClain? I most certainly was not using any such thing! I think that the only man that I should be worried about is you, you insolent b.a.s.t.a.r.d! It's a wonder that any man would dance with me when you were scowling in my direction all night!"
"I'll show ye what a la.s.s like you needs!" he said fiercely, as he trapped me in his embrace and drew me in for a lengthy, thorough kiss.
When his lips came down hungrily on mine, my resolve evaporated. I knew that I should be angry, should be resisting his advance, but I opened my mouth and welcomed his kiss. My body melted against his chest and my hands raked over his back and down to his taught waist. I kissed him back, tongue dueling with his and hated myself for allowing myself to respond so wantonly to this brute.
Devon broke the kiss, and continued, "What you need, la.s.s, is to be kissed fiercely, thoroughly and often by a man whose fire matches yer own."
My knees felt weak from our unexpected kiss and from the implications of Devon's words.
He wants me. I want him back.
I regained my composure and removed my hands from his back, still taken aback by how my body responded to this man while my mind screamed for it to stop.
"If I could reach my dirk right now, I would stab you in the liver," I spat, angry with myself for being so wanton.
"Nae, ye wouldna," he purred, caressing my hair which had become disheveled during the pa.s.sionate kiss.
"And how do you know what I would or would not do?" I demanded, straightening my spine and pus.h.i.+ng his hand away.
"Because ye liked it as much as I did," he whispered, taunting me. "Yer body responds tae me in a way that ye canna control, nae matter how hard ye fight it."
He was right. He saw through me like a pane of gla.s.s. I let my forehead fall to Devon's chest for a split second, accepting defeat and drinking in how good it felt to touch him. I reached up and kissed him on the neck, reveling in his masculine scent. "Good night, Devon McClain," I whispered as I slid from his embrace and slipped into my chamber.
The clunk of the deadbold being slammed into place made Devon laugh. She had admitted her attraction to him, a small victory. "Good night, la.s.s," he said and walked down the stairs, c.o.c.k painful and pulsing from his uncanny response to her. Small victories, he thought to himself as he tried to ignore what was going on under his kilt. She had admitted her attraction to him, and it was a small victory that he would accept.
Chapter Seven.
Every move that I made was watched. Around every corner was another guard or a housemaid, maintaining the rouse of a menial task around the castle. Windows were cleaned, stairwells were swept, torches were lit, but all the while, I felt their eyes upon me. Constantly watching, evaluating me, eyes boring holes in the back of my head. I was an outsider in more ways than they could ever understand and I got the feeling that outsiders were not trusted. I knew that Collin didn't trust me, and I a.s.sumed that the reason for my constant supervision was that he considered me to be a flight risk.
The gray skies and nearly constant drizzle of rain were starting to get to me, limiting my ability to work in the garden or walk the grounds of the keep. I needed something to keep myself busy with, something to pa.s.s the time. It was the quiet moments that were the worst for me. My mind was drawn as if it were a magnet, drawn back to my fear that my Father would find me and drag me back to my arranged marriage. This fear was compounded because I knew that the safety I enjoyed within the McClain keep was only temporary. It was only a matter of time until I would be discovered as an imposter, my rouse as Katherine Berks.h.i.+re was more dangerous with each pa.s.sing day.
It was hard to suppress the constant stream of thoughts that swirled through my mind as I tried to decide how to preserve my freedom. I knew that escape from the McClain keep would be necessary, but every time an opportunity arose, my escape was thwarted from a guard or a maid that had been placed to watch me.
I also knew that my father would not have just a.s.sumed that I had died when I jumped overboard and into the icy sea. He would have wanted to see my body as proof, not to help him grieve the loss of his daughter, but to ensure that his chance to ally with the McGregors was really gone. I knew that I was only a p.a.w.n in my father's greedy scheme, and not for a second did I believe that he cared about me. He only cared that I would bring him a blood tie to the McGregors, which would lead to the fattening of his purse due to the profitable trade routes that they guarded.
When my problems weren't controlling my thoughts, Devon was. As much as I had tried, I could not deny my feelings for Devon. I was tormented by the memories of his kiss last night outside of my chamber. b.u.t.terflies fluttered in my stomach each time I remembered how his lips felt over mine, how his body felt pressed against my own. I yearned for the safety that I knew that Devon could give me, but at the same time, every fiber in my being screamed at me to run, to escape. In the past couple of days, my mantra of escape had been gradually replacing itself with one of tentative acceptance. Maybe Devon was my best chance to protect myself from my father. Maybe he could help me.
I took a deep breath, holding it in my lungs before slowly letting it out. With the ident.i.ty that I had unintentionally taken on, I had been saved from marriage to the Laird of Clan McClain due to his untimely death, but I wondered how long I would be safe. I had overheard discussion of Kate Berks.h.i.+re's sizeable dowry, and I knew that Clan McClain was in need of finances. How long would it be before I was married to someone else so that the dowry could be collected?
I needed my full wits about me to play this game. I would not be a willing p.a.w.n in Collin's schemes to finance his petty wars and cattle raids. I had escaped my father's intention of selling me as a bride to McGregor to bring an alliance between our families, and I refused to fall into the same situation with Collin and his l.u.s.t for money.
If I was not able to find a way to escape, I could at least resolve to determine my own destiny in this strange new place. I scanned my meager list of acquaintances, looking for allies. I immediately knew that Leti was my best bet,and that her relations.h.i.+p with the Laird, her brother, might help. I needed to stay close to Leti, kindle our friends.h.i.+p and use it to my advantage.
With my new mindset making me feel a little more in control, I decided to implement this plan immediately. I walked a little taller from my chamber down the long hallway that lead to the great room, hoping to find Leti. After Brennan's return to the keep, Leti rarely left his side and was totally engrossed in nursing her betrothed back to health. I missed her company, missed having someone to share my day with. Most of the women in the castle still kept me at arms length, wary of my uncertain position with the Laird, refusing to talk to me unless it was absolutely unavoidable. My conversations with Leti had been so natural, so easy and full of laughter.
Now, I realized just how important my friends.h.i.+p with Leti might be in postponing an unwanted marriage. I needed her not only as a friend, but also as an ally against Collin.
I found them lounging on one of the settees next to the fire, holding hands and totally wrapped up in each other. Brennan was clearly on the road to recovery, his arm draped casually around Leti's shoulder as he held her close in the firelight. I watched as Brennan nuzzled Leti's neck and whispered something in her ear that caused her to let loose a familiar giggle. I felt like an intruder in their private bubble of happiness.
I turned heel and decided that tonight would not be the night to initialize my plan. Leti was busy and a true friend would not interrupt what she was currently occupied with next to the fire. I couldn't begrudge her the joy that she found in Brennan's return to health.
I reluctantly decided that maybe I could find solace in a book from Collin's library. I grasped the wooden banister at the edge of the large stone staircase that lead to the second level of the castle, thankful that after a week, I had finally learned to navigate the hallways and levels of the ma.s.sive castle without getting lost. Or, at least without getting lost very often.
I took a left at the top of the stairs and headed down the narrow pa.s.sage that led to Collin's private library. He was often found here during the day, overlooking figures and managing all aspects of the lairds.h.i.+p from his enormous oak desk. He had once offered me a book to read from his library, an offer that I had declined at the time, not realizing that the weather was about to take a turn towards rain.
"Ye f.u.c.king b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" Devon yelled, the sound of his fist striking something solid accompanied his exclamation. I recognized his voice immediately, although I had never heard it booming with such anger. I stopped in my tracks.
"Who's the b.a.s.t.a.r.d here, Devon? I ken that b.i.t.c.h of a mother of yours was already pregnant with ye when she wed my Father. That swiving b.i.t.c.h entrapped him and ye ken it!"
"He loved her and yer jealous of what they had together. I swear I'll kill ye if ye bring up my mother again." His voice was seething with rage. "I'll not do it, Collin. Ye canna force me tae marry her!"
My hand steadied my body against the cold stone wall. I was committed now. I feared moving back into the hallway because they might hear me, knowing that I was eavesdropping on a very personal conversation. I was frozen in place.
They're talking about me!
I had antic.i.p.ated that Collin would try to marry me off as soon as possible, but this was ridiculous. His father was barely cold in the grave and already he was intent on marrying me off so that he could claim Katherine Berks.h.i.+re's dowry.
"No, I canna force ye to it. However, I do have an alternate plan in case ye won't cooperate," Collin threatened. There was an underlying tone of challenge in his voice. "I've received a letter from Willis Cameron expressing his desire tae claim the la.s.s. He will pay for her hand, but not as much as her dowry would add to our coffers. I would gladly hand her over to Cameron, pain in the a.r.s.e that she is, if it were not for the dowry her father promised upon the confirmation of her nuptials."
"Have ye no shame?" Devon's voice was seething with anger. "Wedding her tae the Cameron is a death sentence. Ye ken what he did with his last wife when he tired of her," Devon warned, recalling the "accident" that befell Cameron's first wife when she fell out of the warlord's favor. "Collin, ye ken that Cameron is a wicked man. Think of Kate." Devon said, the tone of his voice more controlled now, trying to reason with his brother.
"I've no responsibility towards her other than tae secure her a marriage after Da's pa.s.sing. I have nae care for her feelings or best interest. We need the money from her dowry. I'd prefer that ye marry the la.s.s, as that would be the most profitable outcome for the Clan, but if ye refuse, I'll send her packing to the Camerons immediately."
A feeling of intense dread filled the pit of my stomach and I felt as though I might be sick. I fought every urge in my body that told me to run, to escape this fate. My mind forced my feet to be anch.o.r.ed to the floor and I fought against the bile that was rising in my throat.
"Ye ken that the Camerons have a price on my head, brother. If ye force me tae marry the la.s.s that Cameron wants for his own, that price will be tenfold. They will hunt me," Devon said matter-of-factly.
"I've made my decision. Ye shall marry Miss Berks.h.i.+re, or she goes to the Cameron. Protecting ye from the Camerons is no my concern."
"Ye ken full well that I can protect myself," Devon raged. "We are on the verge of war with the Camerons already and ye choose tae taunt their Laird by marrying the woman that he desires to his worst enemy. I see through yer plan, brother. If Cameron has me killed, yer life would be sae much easier."
"True," Collin sighed. "He might even take the wench off my hands when ye are killed, that is if he doesn't mind having yer seconds."