The Jaded: Unveil Me Part 12

Jase groans and grips my hips, bringing me closer to him, which spurs me on more. I grab a handful of hair and yank his head to the side. He has scruff on his cheeks and neck from not shaving today and it feels f.u.c.king amazing against my lips.

"Jesus, I've missed your taste," I murmur against his ear, before taking a bite.

Reaching around, Jase grabs my a.s.s and starts to knead. My a.s.s cheeks tighten in response.

"It's only been since last night. That's not enough time to miss it." Jase moans.

I pull back from him and tilt his head so we're looking at each other. He really has no idea what he does to me. It's about time I enlighten him.

"Jase, as soon as your lips leave mine, I miss your taste. As soon as your touch leaves me, I miss the sensation. If we're not in the same room together, I miss your presence. I crave you all the time, baby. There's not a second that goes by that I don't want you, that I don't want your scent on me, your touch on me, or your eyes on me. There's never a time that I don't miss you."

I watch Jase, gauging his reaction to my confession. Every word I just told him is true. He has become such a pivotal part of me that, if I were to ever lose him, I'd lose parts of myself as well. He's burrowed himself so deep in my heart that he'd pull big pieces out with him if he left. And nothing or no one would be able to fill those gaps left behind.

As I stand there and watch Jase, his lips all of a sudden form a huge smile, showcasing his dimple. I'm just about to lean down and run my tongue along it when he says teasingly, "So, you like me, huh?"

I laugh at his ridiculous question and grip his hair tighter. "I'd say I more than like you," I tell him, and do what I wanted to do a minute ago and lick his dimple.

I pull back a minute later and rest my forehead against him. "Thank you for understanding about Ally. I know it's f.u.c.ked that I didn't tell you or the others, but I just couldn't find the right time."

"I get it, Andrew. I know why you couldn't and it's okay. But you don't have to go through that s.h.i.+t alone anymore. Let us be there for you. I don't have any experience with this, but I know it had to be tough holding it all in when you were around us. No more of that."

His words. .h.i.t home, because he's right, it has been tough not going to my friends when things started going downhill with Ally. Not being able to depend on them for support was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I may be a man and men are supposed to be able to handle hard situations, but I don't care how strong you are, no one can handle something like this by themselves. I had my mom, Becky, and Brent, but most times they weren't physically there.

"Mr. Donovan, are you ready?" the nurse says, as she comes back into the room.

I pull back from Jase and turn to face her. As she's standing there holding a clipboard, an orderly comes in behind her with a wheelchair.

I don't f.u.c.king think so.

"You can take that back, I don't need it," I say, gesturing to the wheelchair.

"I'm sorry, sir, but it's policy. I can't let-"

"I'm sorry too, but I'm not getting in that f.u.c.king thing. I can walk just fine on my own."

The good mood I had a moment ago because of Jase is quickly being replaced with irritation. First she took her sweet-a.s.s time and now she expects me to be wheeled around in that thing? Not f.u.c.king likely. I narrow my eyes at the nurse and watch as she swallows.

"Please, sir-"

"It's okay, Janet, let him be. He'll be fine," Dr. Adams says as she steps into the room.

With a thank you and a smile, Dr. Adams takes the clipboard from the nurse and dismisses her. Walking over to me, she hands me the clipboard. I sign my release forms and hand it back.

"How is she? Do you know if the dialysis worked?" I know I probably sound frantic, but I don't give a s.h.i.+t. This keeping me in the dark is driving me f.u.c.king bonkers. I spoke with Becky late last night, but haven't this morning.

"She's doing much better," Dr. Adams rea.s.sures me, and I sag in relief. "And the dialysis did work. Her kidney function has improved. We're giving her one more day just to be sure and to let her body recover some before starting the bone marrow transplant."

"Thank G.o.d," I mutter, and briefly close my eyes.

I feel Jase step up to me and rest his hand on my back. His touch gives me comfort.

I open my eyes and ask the doctor, "Can I see her now?"

She smiles and says, "Yes, I'll take you to her."

"I have family and friends here. I don't want to put too much pressure on Ally, but they're anxious to see her as well. When can she receive outside visitors?"

"As long as you keep it calm, she should be fine to see them now. Just don't overdo it."

I nod and Jase and I walk out hand in hand behind Dr. Adams. I need to call my mom and let her know she can come see Ally. I know she's been worried sick as well. I made her go home last night with the promise I would call her this morning with an update. After I speak with Becky and Brent and make sure it's okay, I'll call everyone back home and let them know they can come meet Ally for the first time. I'm a little nervous at the thought of them meeting her. Anyone would be nervous when they introduce their friends to a child they've kept a secret for years. However, the thought of knitting the two together has me excited and impatient.

We come to a stop at one of the doors, and Dr. Adams pushes it open for us to enter. I take a deep breath and pull Jase in behind me.

The first thing I see is Brent hunched over in a chair in the corner, asleep. When he hears movement, he jerks awake, looking first at Jase, then at me. I don't really pay him any mind because my eyes have moved to the bed. Becky is lying on the edge of the small mattress, her hair hanging off the side. I can't see her face or Ally because her back is blocking our view.

With my heart in my throat and fear at what I'll see, I slowly walk around the bed and get my first glimpse of Ally.

My breath whooshes out at the frail body I see lying in bed. It's only been a couple of days since I saw her, but she seems even smaller now. Ally's always been big for her age, courtesy of my genes, but now she looks underweight and so fragile, like the smallest of movements will break her. Her arms are thin and her face gaunt. The beanie she's wearing doesn't hide the fact that her hair is gone. She has dark shadows under her beautiful eyes. There's a bandage on the lower portion of her neck with a tube sticking out and she has several catheters in her hands and arms.

It breaks my f.u.c.king heart to see her like this. I want to fix everything that's wrong, but I can't. Being helpless is one of the worst feelings in the world.

Ally is reclining against a couple of pillows, playing a handheld video game. When she sees me, a gorgeous smile crosses her face and it nearly brings me to my knees.

"Uncle Andy," she says happily, her eyes lighting up. Her voice doesn't sound as strong and cheerful as normal.

Becky jerks awake. "What's wrong?" she asks, looking disoriented. It only takes her a second to realize everything is okay and see me standing by the bed. Her eyes flick to Jase standing behind me before returning to mine.

"Sorry, Mom," Ally says with a frown.

"It's okay, baby," Becky leans downs and kisses the top of Ally's head. "Hey, you two."

Grabbing Jase's hand, I step closer to the bed. "Hey, skittles. How're you doing?"

She puckers her lips into a pout and says, "I'm okay. I feel better today."

"That's great, precious," I sit on the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle her any. "I came to see how you're doing and introduce you to someone."

She looks behind me at Jase and then back to me, brows pulled down. "Is it him? Is that Jase?"

I turn to Jase and see surprise on his face. I may not have told my friends about Ally, Becky, and Brent, but they know all about my friends. It was only a couple of days ago that I told Ally about Jase. She was excited about meeting him.

I pull him closer. Once he's standing beside me, I tell Ally, "Yeah, this is my good friend, Jase. Jase, this beautiful girl is Ally."

Ally watches him for a moment, before smiling and saying shyly, "h.e.l.lo."

I fall a little more for Jase as he lowers himself to his knees beside the bed, so he and Ally are face-to-face.

He gently grabs her hand and brings the back of it to his lips, placing a light kiss there. "Hey, sweetie. It's an honor to meet you."

She giggles her little girl laugh at his n.o.ble gesture.

I look over at Becky. She has her hand at her mouth, but I can see the corners tipping up into a smile. She has tears in her eyes.

"Do you like Skittles, Jase?" Ally asks, and I have to stifle a laugh. I know exactly where this is going.

"I do," he responds, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Do you think you can talk Uncle Andy into getting me some?"

Releasing Ally's hand, Jase brings the tip of one finger up to his lips and gives it a tap.

"Hmm... I don't know if I can do that," he says, causing a frown to appear on Ally's face. "But you can have this bag if you want."

Surprising us all, Jase brings out a sharable-size bag of Skittles from the pocket of his cargo pants.

The frown on Ally's face is quickly replaced by a breathtaking smile, and I want nothing more than to kiss Jase senseless for causing it.

Before handing the Skittles over, Jase says, "You have to ask your mom if you can have them first."

Ally nods vigorously and turns to her mom. "Can I, Mom?" she asks hopefully.

Gazing at her daughter with affection, she pats her cheek and says, "Let's wait and ask the doctor before you eat any, okay?"

"Okay." She turns back to Jase. "Thank you!"

"You're very welcome, sweetie," Jase says, and stands up.

Brent walks over, and I introduce him and Becky to Jase. All four of us sit and talk for a while about nothing in particular, trying to avoid the elephant in the room. Ally needs as much normal as she can get. She entertains us with silly little stories, making us all laugh and eat up her attention.

After a while, Ally's eyes start to droop. Leaning down, I place a kiss on Ally's forehead. "Get some rest, Skittles. We'll be back later today, okay?"

"Love you, Uncle Andy," she mumbles, already half-asleep.

"Love you too, Ally," I tell her, my voice thick.

I let Becky and Brent know that Jase and I will be staying in a hotel close by, in case they need anything or something happens. I've already cleared the time off with Jaxon. He understood my need to be close to Ally. Not to mention, I'm under doctor's orders to not work for the next three days.

Becky and Brent walk us to the door. I turn to them before walking out.

"I've told the rest of my friends. I know they're anxious to meet Ally and you two. If she's up for it later, would it be okay for me to bring them by?"

Becky comes up to me and engulfs me in her arms, squeezing the life out of me.

She has tears sliding down her face when she pulls back. After quickly wiping them away, she says, "Yes, please bring them. We want to meet all of your friends. We've heard so much about them it feels like I already know them. And I know Ally will love meeting your friends as well."

Stepping up beside his wife, Brent reaches out to shake my hand. "Your friends are our friends, Andrew. You've done so much for us and there's no way we could ever thank you."

I nod, knowing I would do it all over again.

After Jase gets a tearful hug from Becky and a handshake from Brent, we leave the hospital. I have to force myself to walk forward and not turn around and go back, but I know there's nothing else we can do right now. We all have to hope and pray everything turns out okay.

Andrew Jase and I are in the Waffle House down the road from the hospital having lunch while we wait on our crew to get here. I called them a couple of hours ago to see if they wanted to meet Ally. Just as I expected, they were excited about the idea. They should be here soon.

A sense of relief washes through me at the thought of no longer keeping Ally a secret. I hated lying to my friends. The guilt ate at me every day. But now I have to deal with the feelings of not having Ally with me all the time. When I first agreed to donate sperm to Becky and Brent, I was happy to help them. I still am happy that I helped them. I wouldn't change that for anything. But once she came along, I immediately fell in love with her and wanted her for my own. I know she'll never truly be mine to raise, but I can't help but wish she was. She's not really my daughter, but I still refer to her as such.

I was able to keep the feelings at bay when everyone back in Jaded Hollow didn't know about her, because it was easy to distract myself. In order to keep up appearances, I had to distract myself. Now that everyone knows, those feelings have free rein. It helps some knowing I can see her anytime I want. Becky and Brent know my feelings, as I've never kept them secret. They understand and give me free rein to see Ally as much as I want. They know I would never try to take Ally away or jeopardize her happiness. She's where she should be.

Mom came by earlier after visiting the hospital. She stayed in the same hotel Jase and I did, but decided to head home. She works at the only pediatric clinic in Jaded Hollow and couldn't afford to take time off work. She did say she'll be back every day after work, and if she was needed for anything else to let her know.

"I have a question," Jase says, interrupting my thoughts.

He's leaning back in his seat with an arm casually thrown over the back. His hair is in a low ponytail with a few strands loose. I watched this morning as he pulled it back without care. I like that he doesn't care if every hair isn't in place.

"What's up?" I ask, and pick up my lukewarm coffee.

He doesn't speak right away, but instead looks at me with his brows pulled down, like he's contemplating whether or not he should ask. This makes me curious. What could have him so undecided?

"How did you donate your sperm to Becky and Brent?" he asks, throwing me for a loop. This is one question I didn't expect him to ask. I knew it would come up eventually, but not yet.

"The one girl I had s.e.x with?" He nods at my reminder. "That was her."

Jase's eyes flash with surprise. "And Brent was okay with you having s.e.x with his wife? Why not do the whole artificial thing they do nowadays?"

"This was before Brent's promotion. He was just an a.s.sembly line worker and the pay was terrible. They couldn't afford artificial insemination. It was their only choice at the time. They struggled with the decision, thinking Brent would never be at ease with his wife sleeping with another man, but also refusing to give in. They had been let down so many times before and when they found out Brent was sterile, they were devastated. It took them years to get up the courage to ask me. They said I was the only one they felt comfortable enough asking, because of my s.e.xual preference. They knew I would never develop feelings for her, or her me."

That was one conversation that I never thought I would have. To say it was uncomfortable is an understatement. Not so much on my part but on theirs. I've always been open about my s.e.xuality. Talking about s.e.x comes naturally to me. It's a part of human nature. What's to be embarra.s.sed about?

At first I was worried Brent wouldn't be able to cope with the thought of Becky having s.e.x with me, but he was adamant he would be fine.

"What did..." Jase's voice is hoa.r.s.e and he stops to clear it before continuing, "How did it happen?"

I don't know if Jase is uncomfortable with this part of the conversation or slightly turned on. He doesn't seem like the embarra.s.sed type, so I'm thinking it's the latter. My d.i.c.k twitches, which surprises me because of the current situation. Jase does that. When I'm with him my mind is occupied with other things, making the bad disappear.

"Does that turn you on, baby, thinking about me and a woman?" I ask in a low voice.

"Anything to do with you and s.e.x turns me on."

I quirk my lips up when his eyes heat. His a.s.s is mine tonight when we get to the hotel. He better prepare himself for the f.u.c.king of a lifetime. We've had s.e.x every night since the first time I took him. It may sound ridiculous, but I think I'm going through Jase withdrawal.

Getting back to the question at hand, I tell him, "It was all very sterile feeling mostly. Becky and I both knew what we were there for. It was nothing more or nothing less than that."

"And Brent? Where was he? In the living room while y'all got it on in the bedroom?"

"Actually, yes, he was. We all debated whether he should be in the room with us, but decided against it. It would have made it weirder having him there. We weren't in there long, both wanting to get it over with. I left afterward and didn't hear from them for a few weeks. Later Becky told me that Brent withdrew a bit from her, but they eventually worked through it. I understood his need for time and s.p.a.ce. It couldn't have been easy knowing his wife slept with another man."

Jase doesn't say anything for a few seconds, processing my words.

"And she got pregnant the first time?"