Chuck Klosterman On Rock Part 4

16. This is still a pretty excellent band name, all things considered.

17. The most interesting thing about Exit 99 was something that didn't happen in 1991: An unknown group scheduled a date to play there in the middle of the week, but they canceled at the last minute, supposedly because their debut alb.u.m was starting to get a little media attention and their itinerary was being reconstructed. This was a minor tragedy, since (a) the show would have probably drawn less than twelve people, and (b) the band was Pearl Jam.

18. This person still lives in Fargo, and he still ha.s.sles me whenever I go back. His zine was pretty great (or at least it seemed that way at the time). He had a feud with the band Orange 17, so he was consistently publis.h.i.+ng a list called, "Things I would rather do than see Orange 17 perform live." I particularly remember one of these lists, because #5 was, "See a movie with Forum Forum film critic Chuck Klosterman" and #6 was, "Have the worst s.e.x of my life, get AIDS, and die." This remains the most insightful literary criticism I've ever received. film critic Chuck Klosterman" and #6 was, "Have the worst s.e.x of my life, get AIDS, and die." This remains the most insightful literary criticism I've ever received.

19. This is the guy I sold my used CDs to. He would give me four dollars for almost anything, including reggae compilations. As far as I'm concerned, that qualified him as an expert on just about everything. He knew (and knows) a metric ton about music, but I think he eventually became a plumber.

20. f.u.c.k. I was a really, really wretched person.

21. Actually, they were.

22. What made Orange 17 awesome was how so many people in Fargo hated them for their success. This is a band who never made an alb.u.m, never went on tour, and never made any money. However, they once opened for Ted Nugent and Bad Company at the FarG.o.dome (they were the replacement for a national band who got sick). In a way, Orange 17 truly were a little ahead of their time; they loved hair metal ironically when absolutely n.o.body else did, and-had they emerged ten years later-I suppose they could have been a second-tier version of the Darkness. The band was also hurt by the fact that vocalist Karl Qualey-as mentioned above-looked too much like Kurt Cobain, and everyone thought he was doing it on purpose. In truth, it was just a weird coincidence. He really just needed a different barber.

23. And by "scary" I meant "bald."

24. Played the same songs, though.

25. I never saw this band, ever.

26. Inspired by Tiger Trap!

27. This was true. The drummer's last name was Jensen, and he (and his older brother) symbolized key elements of small-town, North Dakota basketball folklore: the n.o.ble tradition of high-scoring five-foot-six-inch jump shooters. These two Jensen brothers would come off the bench for Milnor, hide in the corner against zone defenses, and inevitably drain three or four 3-pointers every single night. It was profoundly frustrating for all their opponents, because those Jensen boys were short and slow and (kind of) chubby. But undersized fat kids often thrive on the hardwood floors of rural North Dakota. There was another school in a community called Marion, ND, that had two families with the surname Trapp (these families might have even been named "Von Trapp," although that might be wishful thinking on my part). This was a tiny town-maybe 250 people total-and their high school gym was the size of a four-car garage. It was probably only sixty feet long. As such, these Trapp boys-all of whom were under five foot eight-would regularly launch jump shots from half court in the middle of a game. This was impossible to defend, because your natural psychological instinct was not to cover any kid inexplicably shooting from beyond midcourt. The most talented Trapp was a c.o.c.ky, curly-haired fellow named Tori Trapp, and he averaged something like thirty-three points a game without ever going inside the lane. The summer after he graduated from high school, Tori Trapp made out with a girl at a keg party who would later become my girlfriend. I guess I have a lot of unresolved issues with this dude.

28. This was gleaned from their handwritten press release.

29. Now defunct.

30. As opposed to an Adult-Oriented Skater band (AOS).

31. For some reason, I really tried to ram this point home.

Q: You are given the chance to control what your legacy will be. You can't You are given the chance to control what your legacy will be. You can't specifically specifically dictate how you will be recalled by future generations, but You are given the chance to choose between two general idioms of legacies. dictate how you will be recalled by future generations, but You are given the chance to choose between two general idioms of legacies.

The first kind of legacy ("option A") would be that you lived your days as a good, honest person who worked hard and contributed to society. However, the limitation of this legacy will be that almost no one will know or remember this information (including future members of your own extended family). Most average people will never even know you lived.

The second kind of legacy ("option B") will be familiar to almost everyone in the world for centuries to come. However, this legacy will be extremely strange and neutral; it will be an obscure fact that has almost nothing to do with your tangible day-to-day life (the best comparison being the legacy of General Tso Tsungtang, an extremely gifted and successful military leader during the seventeenth-century Qing Dynasty who is now exclusively remembered as the namesake for the popular Chinese dish General Tso's chicken).

Which legacy do you want?

Singularity Remember Jessica McClure? That little Texas girl who fell down a well in 1987? She's seventeen now, and I'm a.s.suming she's pretty G.o.dd.a.m.n sick of people bringing that incident up. And I'm sure they do it constantly. I bet old friends call her and say things like "Oh, hi, Jessica. Funny story. Last night, I was listening to a Terence Trent D'Arby alb.u.m, and when I heard that song 'Wis.h.i.+ng Well,' I totally thought about the time you fell into that well, so I thought I'd give you a jingle." This is the kind of thing that happens when people a.s.sociate one event with your entire life.

I have a similar problem: everyone I've ever met seems to know that I like KISS. Everyone. I have come to realize that liking KISS will ultimately be the only thing anybody will remember about me. I have no doubt that if I died today, whoever was to engrave my tombstone would chisel something along the lines of Charles J. Klosterman 19722005: "He preferred Animalize Animalize to Lick It Up. Lick It Up."

The problem with being closely a.s.sociated with KISS (or with any singular ent.i.ty) is not that people know this particular fact. The problem is that people a.s.sume there are no other facts (about anything) that would possibly interest you. Acquaintances are endlessly telling me rudimentary trivia about KISS, which is a little hard to reconcile, since these same people inevitably tell me things they must a.s.sume I already know. For example, if someone is aware that I know which tracks on Destroyer Destroyer include uncredited guitar playing by d.i.c.k Wagner ("Sweet Pain," "Great Expectations," and "Flaming Youth"), why would this same person feel obligated to inform me that KISS is currently touring with Aerosmith? I mean, I get VH1, too. I own a microwave. I don't live at the bottom of a well. But these are the kinds of things people feel they must tell me. include uncredited guitar playing by d.i.c.k Wagner ("Sweet Pain," "Great Expectations," and "Flaming Youth"), why would this same person feel obligated to inform me that KISS is currently touring with Aerosmith? I mean, I get VH1, too. I own a microwave. I don't live at the bottom of a well. But these are the kinds of things people feel they must tell me.

Consequently, I was not surprised to receive somewhere between six and eighteen thousand e-mails the day after Gene Simmons announced that he was releasing a new solo alb.u.m next year and that one of the songs ("Waiting for the Morning Light") would be cowritten by Bob Dylan. This is significant news to someone like me, a longtime lobbyist for KISS songs that fall outside the conventional KISS paradigm. I'm a big supporter of the (highly Advanced) collaborations between KISS and Lou Reed on the 1981 concept alb.u.m Music from the Elder, Music from the Elder, a work that I consider the fourth-best KISS studio effort of all time. I do not find the Simmons-Dylan collaboration surprising. In fact, it shouldn't be surprising to anyone. Their partners.h.i.+p simply ill.u.s.trates that rock 'n' roll has reached its logical conclusion and no longer needs to exist. a work that I consider the fourth-best KISS studio effort of all time. I do not find the Simmons-Dylan collaboration surprising. In fact, it shouldn't be surprising to anyone. Their partners.h.i.+p simply ill.u.s.trates that rock 'n' roll has reached its logical conclusion and no longer needs to exist.

Here is the entire history of rock music, recounted in one paragraph: rock music did not exist until the release of Meet the Beatles Meet the Beatles in January 1964. From that time until 1970, the Beatles were simultaneously the most artistically gifted and commercially successful rock artists on the planet. Then they broke up. And at that point, rock split into two opposing ideologies; there were now two kinds of music. The prime directive of the first kind of rock was to be meaningful and important; the prime directive of the second was to entertain people and move product. The first category comprises elements (Springsteen, punk rock, early U2, Chris Carrabba, etc.) that followed a template built by Dylan in the 1960s. The second category comprises things (Elton John, disco, everything the Stones did post in January 1964. From that time until 1970, the Beatles were simultaneously the most artistically gifted and commercially successful rock artists on the planet. Then they broke up. And at that point, rock split into two opposing ideologies; there were now two kinds of music. The prime directive of the first kind of rock was to be meaningful and important; the prime directive of the second was to entertain people and move product. The first category comprises elements (Springsteen, punk rock, early U2, Chris Carrabba, etc.) that followed a template built by Dylan in the 1960s. The second category comprises things (Elton John, disco, everything the Stones did postSome Girls, Michael Jackson, et al.) that followed the path KISS chose when they formed in 1973. This era includes two exceptions, which are Led Zeppelin and Prince; everything else fits into either category A or category B. And that is the entire history of rock music, completely condensed into one paragraph. Michael Jackson, et al.) that followed the path KISS chose when they formed in 1973. This era includes two exceptions, which are Led Zeppelin and Prince; everything else fits into either category A or category B. And that is the entire history of rock music, completely condensed into one paragraph.

But now, that's all over. Rock 'n' roll has come full circle: the genre's most genuine, most credible individual has joined forces with the genre's most entrepreneurial, most self-consciously contrived individual. Rock 'n' roll has not been destroyed; it has been solved. This, of course, will make it significantly harder to put out a rock magazine, but I'm sure we'll think of something. Tune in next month, when this column will begin covering ... oh, I don't know. Maybe horse racing.

-SPIN, 2004

Oh, the Guilt 1 It's fascinating and stupid to watch adults destroy things on purpose. It's a sensation that applies to a mult.i.tude of stimuli: monster truck shows, the dynamiting of sports arenas, race riots, Van Halen's musical legacy, eggs, governments, and temporary G.o.ds. And guitars. Always guitars. You absolutely cannot destroy enough guitars within the course of your career; Pete Townshend tried, but that still didn't stop him from getting wrongly accused of pedophilia or thinking that "Squeeze Box" was clever. People wreck guitars to ill.u.s.trate how important guitars are supposed to be, aggressively reminding us that these are the machines that kill fascists. Sadly, this axiom has proven to be mostly inaccurate; according to the most recent edition of the It's fascinating and stupid to watch adults destroy things on purpose. It's a sensation that applies to a mult.i.tude of stimuli: monster truck shows, the dynamiting of sports arenas, race riots, Van Halen's musical legacy, eggs, governments, and temporary G.o.ds. And guitars. Always guitars. You absolutely cannot destroy enough guitars within the course of your career; Pete Townshend tried, but that still didn't stop him from getting wrongly accused of pedophilia or thinking that "Squeeze Box" was clever. People wreck guitars to ill.u.s.trate how important guitars are supposed to be, aggressively reminding us that these are the machines that kill fascists. Sadly, this axiom has proven to be mostly inaccurate; according to the most recent edition of the World Book Almanac, World Book Almanac, the number of fascists killed in guitar-related a.s.sa.s.sinations continues to hover near zero. the number of fascists killed in guitar-related a.s.sa.s.sinations continues to hover near zero.

"It seemed like Nirvana had had to smash their instruments," Mudhoney front man Mark Arm supposedly said about Kurt Cobain. "It was really dumb. A roadie would remove all of the mics from the drum kit so they wouldn't get hurt. What the f.u.c.k?" Arm was talking about the '92 version of Nirvana, a group who had not yet begun recording to smash their instruments," Mudhoney front man Mark Arm supposedly said about Kurt Cobain. "It was really dumb. A roadie would remove all of the mics from the drum kit so they wouldn't get hurt. What the f.u.c.k?" Arm was talking about the '92 version of Nirvana, a group who had not yet begun recording In Utero In Utero but who'd already begun to lose track of how rich they were. However, the band had been preoccupied with destroying their own equipment long before their fiscal windfall: Nirvana annihilated their set at a show at Evergreen College way back in 1988. but who'd already begun to lose track of how rich they were. However, the band had been preoccupied with destroying their own equipment long before their fiscal windfall: Nirvana annihilated their set at a show at Evergreen College way back in 1988.1 They would regularly wreck their own possessions while touring in support of They would regularly wreck their own possessions while touring in support of Bleach, Bleach, an alb.u.m that (initially) sold thirty-five thousand copies and only appealed to slow-witted stoners and big-picture A & R representatives. "When we started smas.h.i.+ng our equipment it was out of frustration, because I felt like we weren't playing very well," Cobain explained. "People expect it also. Give the kids what they want." an alb.u.m that (initially) sold thirty-five thousand copies and only appealed to slow-witted stoners and big-picture A & R representatives. "When we started smas.h.i.+ng our equipment it was out of frustration, because I felt like we weren't playing very well," Cobain explained. "People expect it also. Give the kids what they want."

This is true. This is true, sort of.

2 In Utero In Utero was the first alb.u.m actively promoted as a product I needed to buy was the first alb.u.m actively promoted as a product I needed to buy because because I was not going to like it. The wanting and the hating were somehow related. That's all I remember about waiting for the release of that record: Over and over again, I was informed about how much I was going to hate this alb.u.m and how I would never want to play it, supposedly because it would be so challenging and corrosive that it wouldn't sound like music. It would have no relations.h.i.+p to melody or metal or capitalism. There seemed to be a lot of people arguing about this possibility in public (and they were always the same people), and they would all inevitably say the exact opposite of whatever they had allegedly argued in the past (in fact, it always seemed like their contradictory statements could only be found retrospectively in the denials). Following a lead in the I was not going to like it. The wanting and the hating were somehow related. That's all I remember about waiting for the release of that record: Over and over again, I was informed about how much I was going to hate this alb.u.m and how I would never want to play it, supposedly because it would be so challenging and corrosive that it wouldn't sound like music. It would have no relations.h.i.+p to melody or metal or capitalism. There seemed to be a lot of people arguing about this possibility in public (and they were always the same people), and they would all inevitably say the exact opposite of whatever they had allegedly argued in the past (in fact, it always seemed like their contradictory statements could only be found retrospectively in the denials). Following a lead in the Chicago Tribune, Newsweek Chicago Tribune, Newsweek raised doubt over whether Geffen Records would allow the alb.u.m to be released as it was recorded. This was during an era when people still cared what raised doubt over whether Geffen Records would allow the alb.u.m to be released as it was recorded. This was during an era when people still cared what Newsweek Newsweek reported about rock music. The vortex of the controversy stemmed from Cobain's selection of Steve Albini as the reported about rock music. The vortex of the controversy stemmed from Cobain's selection of Steve Albini as the In Utero In Utero producer-an abrasive, ethical man whose legacy is built on crafting sonically authentic records that normal people hate. The word that kept being connected to the project was producer-an abrasive, ethical man whose legacy is built on crafting sonically authentic records that normal people hate. The word that kept being connected to the project was unlistenable unlistenable. The vocals were going to be "low in the mix" (which meant nothing to me at the time) and everything was apparently going to sound like the Jesus Lizard covering a Pixies alb.u.m inside MechaG.o.dzilla (except not good). Cobain insisted In Utero In Utero would sell "a quarter as much" as 1991's would sell "a quarter as much" as 1991's Nevermind, Nevermind, a nonarbitrary estimate that could be taken to mean Cobain figured 75 percent of his audience did not care about incendiary sonic experiences. "The grown-ups don't like it," he told Nirvana biographer Michael Azerrad, the a.s.sumption being that "the grown-ups" were the faceless executives at Geffen who had (somehow) hoped that Nirvana was going to bring in twelve new songs that sounded like Aerosmith's "Crazy." The accuracy of this a.s.sertion remains unclear. Later, in 1994, Cobain delivered an uncharacteristically lucid and relaxed interview to a French video outlet called a nonarbitrary estimate that could be taken to mean Cobain figured 75 percent of his audience did not care about incendiary sonic experiences. "The grown-ups don't like it," he told Nirvana biographer Michael Azerrad, the a.s.sumption being that "the grown-ups" were the faceless executives at Geffen who had (somehow) hoped that Nirvana was going to bring in twelve new songs that sounded like Aerosmith's "Crazy." The accuracy of this a.s.sertion remains unclear. Later, in 1994, Cobain delivered an uncharacteristically lucid and relaxed interview to a French video outlet called Metal Express Metal Express where he merely said, "I think the general consensus was that the alb.u.m may not sell as much, so they were concerned with that. But they never, ever once put any pressure on us. They just basically told us their feelings about the record. Most people don't like the record. A lot of my friends don't even like the record." He seemed intellectually satisfied by that distaste. And while I'm sure the label would have been happier if Cobain had written a bunch of power ballads and asked Bob Rock to make them sparkle, it's not like the grown-ups hammered him in the press-David Geffen personally called where he merely said, "I think the general consensus was that the alb.u.m may not sell as much, so they were concerned with that. But they never, ever once put any pressure on us. They just basically told us their feelings about the record. Most people don't like the record. A lot of my friends don't even like the record." He seemed intellectually satisfied by that distaste. And while I'm sure the label would have been happier if Cobain had written a bunch of power ballads and asked Bob Rock to make them sparkle, it's not like the grown-ups hammered him in the press-David Geffen personally called Newsweek Newsweek to complain about the accuracy of their report. My suspicion is that the label merely wanted an alb.u.m that large numbers of people might like, and they did not think such a desire precluded the band from making an alb.u.m that was valid. to complain about the accuracy of their report. My suspicion is that the label merely wanted an alb.u.m that large numbers of people might like, and they did not think such a desire precluded the band from making an alb.u.m that was valid.

But Nirvana (or at least Cobain, and possibly ba.s.sist Krist Novoselic) did not agree. They could not reconcile the dissonance between ma.s.s success and artistic merit; interestingly, they a.s.sumed combining ma.s.s success with with dissonance was the only way to salvage any merit at all. And this reality requires some very weird questions: Why did dissonance was the only way to salvage any merit at all. And this reality requires some very weird questions: Why did In Utero In Utero need to be conventionally "bad" in order for it to be exceptionally good? And-perhaps more importantly-why did that fraction of badness only matter if people knew need to be conventionally "bad" in order for it to be exceptionally good? And-perhaps more importantly-why did that fraction of badness only matter if people knew that the badness was intentional that the badness was intentional?

3 Nirvana began recording Nirvana began recording In Utero In Utero in February of 1993, the same month the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms raided the Mount Carmel compound in Waco, Texas, the home of self-styled doomsday prophet David Koresh and his disciples in the Branch Davidian cult. The raid resulted in the death of six Davidians and four agents, sp.a.w.ning a fifty-one-day siege that ended with over seventy people dying in a fire that was started (or inadvertently created) by a military a.s.sault on the compound, ordered by U.S. attorney general Janet Reno. This armed offensive against private U.S. citizens was seen as the last resort against Koresh and his followers after the ATF had run out of alternatives, one of which was bombarding the compound with high-volume recordings of rabbits being slaughtered. I have never listened to the sounds of dying rabbits, so I don't really know what that sounds like; I suspect the vocals are not low in the mix. "We will never know whether there was a better solution," Reno eventually testified in 1995, although one could argue that any solution that did not involve the government burning people alive might have been worth considering. in February of 1993, the same month the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms raided the Mount Carmel compound in Waco, Texas, the home of self-styled doomsday prophet David Koresh and his disciples in the Branch Davidian cult. The raid resulted in the death of six Davidians and four agents, sp.a.w.ning a fifty-one-day siege that ended with over seventy people dying in a fire that was started (or inadvertently created) by a military a.s.sault on the compound, ordered by U.S. attorney general Janet Reno. This armed offensive against private U.S. citizens was seen as the last resort against Koresh and his followers after the ATF had run out of alternatives, one of which was bombarding the compound with high-volume recordings of rabbits being slaughtered. I have never listened to the sounds of dying rabbits, so I don't really know what that sounds like; I suspect the vocals are not low in the mix. "We will never know whether there was a better solution," Reno eventually testified in 1995, although one could argue that any solution that did not involve the government burning people alive might have been worth considering.

Koresh was a provocative public orator who could quote any pa.s.sage of the Bible verbatim, instantly connecting it with whatever subject he happened to be discussing at the time. He had a lot of Cobainesque qualities: He had shoulder-length hair, played guitar, had a bad childhood, often complained of stomach problems, and had troubling taste in women. (He is alleged to have slept with a woman who was sixty-eight and a girl who was twelve, although the state of Texas never had enough evidence to press statutory rape charges. It should also be noted that neither of those females was crazy enough to let a total stranger suckle their nipples in a Wendy's.) Like Cobain, he became obsessed with guns, appealed to disenfranchised eccentrics who felt cast out by society, and played the central role in his own demise; unlike Cobain, he was dangerously self-confident and (at least a little) insane. Writing about Koresh for The Was.h.i.+ngton Post The Was.h.i.+ngton Post in the wake of the Waco disaster, neuropsychiatrist Richard Restack cited Karl Menninger's chief indicators of psychosis: "preoccupation with persecution, usually a.s.sociated with grandiosity; more or less continuous erratic, disorganized excitement accompanied by irascibility; bizarre delusional ideas coupled with obvious indifference to social expectations; and pervasive convictions of evil or wickedness in self or others." These were indeed the qualities of David Koresh, and the reason we cla.s.sify him as "insane" is because he cultivated those qualities himself. But those were also the core qualities of Cobain; the difference is that they were mostly manufactured by society (and were therefore real). Cobain trusted almost no one. He felt like people were viewing him as messianic; he thought they were searching for symbolism in his most minor actions. All of this was true. He was expected to entertain thousands of people in a cathartic, chaotic musical explosion and then answer inane questions about what that performance meant. He was a heavy drug user who could not comprehend why people liked his music, or even that he was under no social obligation to continue producing it. He saw "wickedness" in things that were not wicked in any significant way (the music of Pearl Jam, generally positive coverage in in the wake of the Waco disaster, neuropsychiatrist Richard Restack cited Karl Menninger's chief indicators of psychosis: "preoccupation with persecution, usually a.s.sociated with grandiosity; more or less continuous erratic, disorganized excitement accompanied by irascibility; bizarre delusional ideas coupled with obvious indifference to social expectations; and pervasive convictions of evil or wickedness in self or others." These were indeed the qualities of David Koresh, and the reason we cla.s.sify him as "insane" is because he cultivated those qualities himself. But those were also the core qualities of Cobain; the difference is that they were mostly manufactured by society (and were therefore real). Cobain trusted almost no one. He felt like people were viewing him as messianic; he thought they were searching for symbolism in his most minor actions. All of this was true. He was expected to entertain thousands of people in a cathartic, chaotic musical explosion and then answer inane questions about what that performance meant. He was a heavy drug user who could not comprehend why people liked his music, or even that he was under no social obligation to continue producing it. He saw "wickedness" in things that were not wicked in any significant way (the music of Pearl Jam, generally positive coverage in Rolling Stone, Rolling Stone, fraternity bozos buying his records at Target), mostly because the social role he was burdened to bear required that he remain inflexible about teenage ideals normal adults would never seriously consider. Koresh decided he was literally G.o.d. Cobain was told he was figuratively G.o.d. Taken on balance, which would make a man crazier? fraternity bozos buying his records at Target), mostly because the social role he was burdened to bear required that he remain inflexible about teenage ideals normal adults would never seriously consider. Koresh decided he was literally G.o.d. Cobain was told he was figuratively G.o.d. Taken on balance, which would make a man crazier?

4 It's hard to imagine any artist more shamed by his commercial success than Cobain, mostly because no one has ever made so much money by defining himself as anticommercial. There's a famous story about how Cobain was outraged at Courtney Love's decision to purchase a Lexus automobile; he forced her to return it to the dealers.h.i.+p so they could go back to driving a pre- It's hard to imagine any artist more shamed by his commercial success than Cobain, mostly because no one has ever made so much money by defining himself as anticommercial. There's a famous story about how Cobain was outraged at Courtney Love's decision to purchase a Lexus automobile; he forced her to return it to the dealers.h.i.+p so they could go back to driving a pre-Nevermind Volvo. After his suicide, that Lexus became wildly symbolic, a metaphor that confounds anyone who wasn't nourished by (or force-fed) punk rock idealism. I remember trying to explain this to a fellow newspaper journalist in 1998, a few days after the premiere of Nick Broomfield's doc.u.mentary Volvo. After his suicide, that Lexus became wildly symbolic, a metaphor that confounds anyone who wasn't nourished by (or force-fed) punk rock idealism. I remember trying to explain this to a fellow newspaper journalist in 1998, a few days after the premiere of Nick Broomfield's doc.u.mentary Kurt and Courtney Kurt and Courtney. I have slowly come to understand why my attempt at explanation was so unfathomable.

"Who the f.u.c.k cares if she bought a Lexus?" the reporter asked me. "He could afford it. It's just a nice car. Why should his wife have to drive a s.h.i.+tty car?"

"But it wasn't just a nice car," I said. "It was a Lexus. A Lexus Lexus. That's a specific kind of nice car. Everyone knows what owning a Lexus means. To Cobain, a lavender limousine would have been preferable to a Lexus, because at least that would have been gratuitous and silly. The limousine is aware of its excess; a Lexus is at ease with it. A Lexus is a car for a serious rich person. There are no ironic Lexus drivers, or even post-ironic Lexus drivers."

"But Kurt Cobain wasn't ironically rich," the reporter responded. "He was literally rich."

"Yes, but he got rich by being the kind of person who self-identified with the undercla.s.s. Owning a Lexus made him feel hypocritical."

"Well, a rich person who self-identifies as being poor is certainly more hypocritical than a rich person whose wife drives a Lexus."

I must admit, even at the time of this conversation, I did not totally buy what I was arguing. The idea of Kurt forcing Courtney to return that car made me like like Cobain more, but it also made him seem confused in an unknowingly solipsistic way. It's like when Oprah Winfrey creates a game show where the whole goal is to give money away to sycophantic strangers: It's an impossible act to criticize, because (of course) charity is wonderful. Yet there's something perverse about high-profile public altruism; it always feels like the individual is trying to purchase "good person" status with money they could never spend on themselves, anyway. Oprah is doing something good, but not necessarily for the motive of goodness. And the motive matters. The situation with Cobain and the Lexus was both similar and different: He was trying to retain "real person" status by Cobain more, but it also made him seem confused in an unknowingly solipsistic way. It's like when Oprah Winfrey creates a game show where the whole goal is to give money away to sycophantic strangers: It's an impossible act to criticize, because (of course) charity is wonderful. Yet there's something perverse about high-profile public altruism; it always feels like the individual is trying to purchase "good person" status with money they could never spend on themselves, anyway. Oprah is doing something good, but not necessarily for the motive of goodness. And the motive matters. The situation with Cobain and the Lexus was both similar and different: He was trying to retain "real person" status by not not spending the money he was convinced he did not deserve. But that makes no sense. A "real" real person lets his dippy wife buy a Lexus when he has the GNP of Mexico in his checking account. No one in suburban Seattle was going to see Cobain behind the wheel of a used Volvo and forget that he could buy a better car; he merely looked like a millionaire trying to convince people that he still wanted to be the kind of guy who refused to buy a Lexus. Which is very, very different than simply not wanting one. Which he obviously realized, which is why he felt so awful. spending the money he was convinced he did not deserve. But that makes no sense. A "real" real person lets his dippy wife buy a Lexus when he has the GNP of Mexico in his checking account. No one in suburban Seattle was going to see Cobain behind the wheel of a used Volvo and forget that he could buy a better car; he merely looked like a millionaire trying to convince people that he still wanted to be the kind of guy who refused to buy a Lexus. Which is very, very different than simply not wanting one. Which he obviously realized, which is why he felt so awful.

In Utero sounds like what it is: Guilt Rock. sounds like what it is: Guilt Rock.

4A The most mind-bending episode in the history of the ABC program The most mind-bending episode in the history of the ABC program Lost Lost is the finale of its third season, mostly because it's the first time the show deviated from its pattern of using the narrative device of the flashback (which provided clarity as to who individual characters truly are) and started to employ flash-forwards (which usually serve to make the motives and machinations of the plot all the more twisted). The third season ends with the story's overt protagonist and failed savior, Dr. Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox), desperate and paranoid at the airport, pleading with his love interest Kate (Evangeline Lilly) about how they must return to the mystical island from which they escaped. Jack is racked with remorse and culpability over what has transpired on the island; he has become alienated from everyone in his life, addicted to drugs, and suicidal. He cannot move beyond the singular experience that has come to define everything about his ident.i.ty. And how do we know this? Well, partially because this is what he says. But also because-earlier in the same episode-Jack drives around Los Angeles aimlessly, wearing sungla.s.ses and listening to "Scentless Apprentice" a decade after its release. is the finale of its third season, mostly because it's the first time the show deviated from its pattern of using the narrative device of the flashback (which provided clarity as to who individual characters truly are) and started to employ flash-forwards (which usually serve to make the motives and machinations of the plot all the more twisted). The third season ends with the story's overt protagonist and failed savior, Dr. Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox), desperate and paranoid at the airport, pleading with his love interest Kate (Evangeline Lilly) about how they must return to the mystical island from which they escaped. Jack is racked with remorse and culpability over what has transpired on the island; he has become alienated from everyone in his life, addicted to drugs, and suicidal. He cannot move beyond the singular experience that has come to define everything about his ident.i.ty. And how do we know this? Well, partially because this is what he says. But also because-earlier in the same episode-Jack drives around Los Angeles aimlessly, wearing sungla.s.ses and listening to "Scentless Apprentice" a decade after its release.

In Utero sounds like what it is: Guilt Rock. sounds like what it is: Guilt Rock.

4B In between In between Nevermind Nevermind and and In Utero, In Utero, Nirvana released a B-side collection t.i.tled Nirvana released a B-side collection t.i.tled Incesticide Incesticide that contained Cobain's finest first-person narrative ("Sliver"), a great Vaselines cover ("Molly's Lips"), two semi-okay originals ("Dive" and "Aneurysm"), something called "Aero Zeppelin" (which doesn't sound like Aerosmith or Led Zeppelin), and a bunch of other songs I never listen to. The most interesting aspect of the record is the unorthodox liner notes, written by Cobain and printed in a thick, zine-like font. In later pressings of the record, Geffen discontinued these notes, which was both a wise and tragic decision. They open with Cobain telling a protracted story about how he was able to have an old alb.u.m by the Raincoats mailed to him from London, and how this experience made him "happier than playing in front of thousands of people each night, rock-G.o.d idolization from fans, music industry plankton kissing my a.s.s, and the millions of dollars I made last year." He goes on to talk about how his wife has been persecuted for choosing "not to function the way the white corporate man insists" and how she is preyed upon by an "army of devoted traitor women." He tells a few people to f.u.c.k off for thinking he's "naive and stupid" (not sure who he means here), compares his band to Cheap Trick and the Knack, and poses a request to his fans: "If any of you in any way hate h.o.m.os.e.xuals, people of a different color, or women, please do this one favor for us-leave us the f.u.c.k alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records." that contained Cobain's finest first-person narrative ("Sliver"), a great Vaselines cover ("Molly's Lips"), two semi-okay originals ("Dive" and "Aneurysm"), something called "Aero Zeppelin" (which doesn't sound like Aerosmith or Led Zeppelin), and a bunch of other songs I never listen to. The most interesting aspect of the record is the unorthodox liner notes, written by Cobain and printed in a thick, zine-like font. In later pressings of the record, Geffen discontinued these notes, which was both a wise and tragic decision. They open with Cobain telling a protracted story about how he was able to have an old alb.u.m by the Raincoats mailed to him from London, and how this experience made him "happier than playing in front of thousands of people each night, rock-G.o.d idolization from fans, music industry plankton kissing my a.s.s, and the millions of dollars I made last year." He goes on to talk about how his wife has been persecuted for choosing "not to function the way the white corporate man insists" and how she is preyed upon by an "army of devoted traitor women." He tells a few people to f.u.c.k off for thinking he's "naive and stupid" (not sure who he means here), compares his band to Cheap Trick and the Knack, and poses a request to his fans: "If any of you in any way hate h.o.m.os.e.xuals, people of a different color, or women, please do this one favor for us-leave us the f.u.c.k alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records."

There is, certainly, a lot of obvious weirdness to this letter, most notably (a) it's hard to imagine too many Nirvana completists self-identifying themselves as women-hating racist h.o.m.ophobes, regardless of how true that designation might have been, and (b) it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to tell people not to buy your alb.u.m by including that message inside inside a shrink-wrapped CD. Kurt did not seem to have a very good grip on the return policies at most mainstream music outlets. But hey, it was December of 1992. Who could cast such stones? Nineteen ninety-two was the absolute apex of the PC era: The s.e.xy goofs in Sonic Youth were writing entertaining songs about Anita Hill while lots of ponytailed boys in English 301 were trying to get laid by demanding the elimination of schoolyard dodgeball (granted, these events may not have been a shrink-wrapped CD. Kurt did not seem to have a very good grip on the return policies at most mainstream music outlets. But hey, it was December of 1992. Who could cast such stones? Nineteen ninety-two was the absolute apex of the PC era: The s.e.xy goofs in Sonic Youth were writing entertaining songs about Anita Hill while lots of ponytailed boys in English 301 were trying to get laid by demanding the elimination of schoolyard dodgeball (granted, these events may not have been directly directly connected, but I think you know what I mean). Writing liner notes about how people needed to give more respect to your overbearing wife was simply what "enlightened" artists were doing at the time. n.o.body should hold this against him. But there is at least one line from his manifesto that still strikes me as meaningful: "I don't feel the least bit guilty for commercially exploiting a completely exhausted Rock youth Culture because, at this point in rock history, Punk Rock (while still sacred to some) is, to me, dead and gone." connected, but I think you know what I mean). Writing liner notes about how people needed to give more respect to your overbearing wife was simply what "enlightened" artists were doing at the time. n.o.body should hold this against him. But there is at least one line from his manifesto that still strikes me as meaningful: "I don't feel the least bit guilty for commercially exploiting a completely exhausted Rock youth Culture because, at this point in rock history, Punk Rock (while still sacred to some) is, to me, dead and gone."

So tell me this: In the scope of your lifetime, how many people have you known who said they didn't feel guilty about something you never accused them of doing you never accused them of doing? And-if and when this happened-how often did the expression of their nonguilt only serve to prove the complete opposite of what they literally said?

This record came out three months before Nirvana began recording In Utero In Utero. This is not a coincidence.

5 How good was Nirvana? Generally, we accept that they were the best commercial rock band from a specific era of rock . . . but were they How good was Nirvana? Generally, we accept that they were the best commercial rock band from a specific era of rock . . . but were they great great? In 1998, VH1 surveyed a s.h.i.+tload of unnamed musicians and industry insiders and asked them to rank the one hundred greatest rock artists of all time. The top five were the Beatles, the Stones, Hendrix, Zeppelin, and Dylan. Nirvana placed forty-second, but they were the only "modern" band on the entire list ("modern" meaning that their entire body of work was produced within the same decade as the poll). If this same poll were conducted today, I suspect Nirvana would still hang in the top fifty, but they would certainly not rank any better and might even drop a few spots. The release of the 2004 Nirvana box set With the Lights Out With the Lights Out somewhat validated the criticism Nirvana skeptics had been levying for years-the group simply did not produce enough material to warrant canonization. somewhat validated the criticism Nirvana skeptics had been levying for years-the group simply did not produce enough material to warrant canonization.

This, however, seems wrong to me. I look at canonized rock bands the same way I look at canonized U.S. presidents. Even if America lasts ten thousand years, the list of our greatest presidents will never change; it will always include Was.h.i.+ngton and Lincoln and Jefferson.2 They created the specific criteria for how we cla.s.sify "greatness" in a president. To say a president is "great" is to argue that he (or she) is exhibiting leaders.h.i.+p and judgment that's reminiscent of George Was.h.i.+ngton, which means that no new president can ever be as great as the person he (or she) is rewarded for emulating. Franklin Roosevelt is now included on the list of canonized presidents, but he cannot be on the same level as Lincoln; his greatness emerged from showing Lincolnian resolve during a period of twentieth-century crisis. They created the specific criteria for how we cla.s.sify "greatness" in a president. To say a president is "great" is to argue that he (or she) is exhibiting leaders.h.i.+p and judgment that's reminiscent of George Was.h.i.+ngton, which means that no new president can ever be as great as the person he (or she) is rewarded for emulating. Franklin Roosevelt is now included on the list of canonized presidents, but he cannot be on the same level as Lincoln; his greatness emerged from showing Lincolnian resolve during a period of twentieth-century crisis.

In the same way, the canon of rock 'n' roll is already set in concrete. Nirvana can't be as great as the Beatles or the Stones, and neither can anyone else; the greatness of any modern act is measured against what the Beatles and the Stones have come to represent as ent.i.ties. But the reason I still think Nirvana warrants inclusion among the greatest bands of all time is because they established a new kind of band. They were the first rock group of the media age that was (a) regularly defined as the biggest band in the free world, while (b) using their espoused hatred of that designation as the princ.i.p.al means for their on-going success. Every band that becomes megasuccessful ultimately feels trapped by that adulation; the sensation of self-hatred is common among artists. What made Nirvana different was how that overt self-hatred defined the totality of their being. It was their princ.i.p.al aesthetic. They always seemed like a group that was producing popular culture against their will. This notion is something they invented accidentally, so all future bands that mine this worldview can only hope to replicate what Nirvana already popularized. As such, they are in the canon (on the JV team, but still).

2A In Utero In Utero opens with Dave Grohl tapping his sticks together three times before the rest of the band strikes a dissonant, awkward chord, which-now, and maybe even then-seems like a band taunting all the people who wanted to like this record for nonmusical reasons. And there were opens with Dave Grohl tapping his sticks together three times before the rest of the band strikes a dissonant, awkward chord, which-now, and maybe even then-seems like a band taunting all the people who wanted to like this record for nonmusical reasons. And there were a lot a lot of people like that; regardless of Cobain's alleged obsession with the pop world thinking his alb.u.m would be terrible, just about everyone who bought it immediately liked it (or at least claimed that they did). The mainstream reviews were positive: four stars in of people like that; regardless of Cobain's alleged obsession with the pop world thinking his alb.u.m would be terrible, just about everyone who bought it immediately liked it (or at least claimed that they did). The mainstream reviews were positive: four stars in Rolling Stone, Rolling Stone, eight out of ten in eight out of ten in NME, NME, an "A" from Robert Christgau at an "A" from Robert Christgau at The Village Voice, The Village Voice, and a ranking of third in and a ranking of third in Spin Spin's 1993 alb.u.ms of the year list (behind Liz Phair and Dr. Dre). It was platinum by Thanksgiving. More interestingly, the pre-release rumors about how difficult In Utero In Utero was supposedly going to sound had the opposite impact-people felt smart for enjoying a "difficult" record and were reticent to complain about its abrasive nature. A similar thing happened to Radiohead when they put out was supposedly going to sound had the opposite impact-people felt smart for enjoying a "difficult" record and were reticent to complain about its abrasive nature. A similar thing happened to Radiohead when they put out Kid A Kid A in 2000: The alb.u.m's prerelease coverage so vociferously insisted that anti-intellectual audiences would not understand in 2000: The alb.u.m's prerelease coverage so vociferously insisted that anti-intellectual audiences would not understand Kid A Kid A that people were terrified to admit being bored by that people were terrified to admit being bored by any any of it. of it.

Within the critical circles I inhabit (and certainly within the critical circles I do not), it has become common to hear people argue that In Utero In Utero is superior to is superior to Nevermind Nevermind and that the pop-metal sheen on songs like "On a Plain" and "Lithium" made the earlier effort seem craven and clinical. and that the pop-metal sheen on songs like "On a Plain" and "Lithium" made the earlier effort seem craven and clinical. Nevermind Nevermind was cool to kids who were not. This is a pretty ridiculous criticism, but-somewhat sadly-that ridiculous critic was the straw man Cobain was most concerned about. And that concern is not sad because of how it affected the alb.u.m, because the alb.u.m still turned out pretty good. It's sad because it ill.u.s.trates Cobain's darkest, most depressing artistic weakness: He could not stop himself from caring about people who would only appreciate his work if he were a mainstream failure, just like they were. And that was never going to happen, because true genius is commercially uncontainable. was cool to kids who were not. This is a pretty ridiculous criticism, but-somewhat sadly-that ridiculous critic was the straw man Cobain was most concerned about. And that concern is not sad because of how it affected the alb.u.m, because the alb.u.m still turned out pretty good. It's sad because it ill.u.s.trates Cobain's darkest, most depressing artistic weakness: He could not stop himself from caring about people who would only appreciate his work if he were a mainstream failure, just like they were. And that was never going to happen, because true genius is commercially uncontainable.

By and large, Nevermind Nevermind and and In Utero In Utero are not as different as Cobain had hoped: The songwriting is pretty similar ("Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Rape Me" are essentially identical, both sounding like Boston's "More Than a Feeling"). The meaningful difference is that on are not as different as Cobain had hoped: The songwriting is pretty similar ("Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Rape Me" are essentially identical, both sounding like Boston's "More Than a Feeling"). The meaningful difference is that on Nevermind, Nevermind, the talent is top loaded and a.s.sertively present (the "talent" in this case being the melody and the drumming). On the talent is top loaded and a.s.sertively present (the "talent" in this case being the melody and the drumming). On In Utero, In Utero, the talent is still there, but it's buried under three meters of abstract credibility. All things considered, Albini actually did a wonderful job the talent is still there, but it's buried under three meters of abstract credibility. All things considered, Albini actually did a wonderful job3 of keeping the song structures as dynamic as they deserved, especially since (a) he always takes his cues from whatever the band claims to want, and (b) the band actively wanted to make a record that sounded awful to their pre-existing fan base, or at least to anyone who thought the drums on of keeping the song structures as dynamic as they deserved, especially since (a) he always takes his cues from whatever the band claims to want, and (b) the band actively wanted to make a record that sounded awful to their pre-existing fan base, or at least to anyone who thought the drums on Dr. Feelgood Dr. Feelgood sounded boss. The recording process took six days. (In an interview with sounded boss. The recording process took six days. (In an interview with Perfecting Sound Forever Perfecting Sound Forever author Greg Milner, Albini a.s.serted, "If your record takes more than five or six days to make, it's bound to suck.") Compared to the theoretical rawness Cobain claimed to desire, author Greg Milner, Albini a.s.serted, "If your record takes more than five or six days to make, it's bound to suck.") Compared to the theoretical rawness Cobain claimed to desire, In Utero In Utero merely sounds less rea.s.suring and less immediate than any musical product that's ever sold five million copies. Still, Albini became the fall guy for why merely sounds less rea.s.suring and less immediate than any musical product that's ever sold five million copies. Still, Albini became the fall guy for why In Utero In Utero seemed so self-absorbed with its own coolness, probably because-unlike 99 percent of record producers-he was actually famous enough to publicly criticize. Gold Mountain Entertainment, the group that managed Nirvana, tried to blame Albini entirely. seemed so self-absorbed with its own coolness, probably because-unlike 99 percent of record producers-he was actually famous enough to publicly criticize. Gold Mountain Entertainment, the group that managed Nirvana, tried to blame Albini entirely.

"He is G.o.d, and he knows what's good," Danny Goldberg said sarcastically during the prerelease melee. Goldberg was the founder of Gold Mountain. "And if the artist doesn't like it, he is somehow selling out because they don't agree with his personal vision. Steve Albini takes the position that anything he thinks is good is good. He's David Koresh."

3A It is difficult for me to write objectively about Koresh. It's difficult because I cannot see any framework where he and his followers were not murdered by the U.S. government (or-in the absolute best-case scenario-driven to commit ma.s.s suicide). In 2000, I (along with two other It is difficult for me to write objectively about Koresh. It's difficult because I cannot see any framework where he and his followers were not murdered by the U.S. government (or-in the absolute best-case scenario-driven to commit ma.s.s suicide). In 2000, I (along with two other Akron Beacon Journal Akron Beacon Journal reporters) spent a month reinvestigating the 1970 national guard shootings on the campus of Kent State University, a chapter in American history that is universally seen as a political tragedy. And it was. But I must admit that what happened at Waco seems worse. Kent State is tragic because four innocent people died while peacefully protesting an unpopular war. It was the result of underprepared national guardsmen responding extemporaneously (and poorly) in a situation where they felt physically threatened. May 4, 1970, was the single worst day of a mostly horrible era. But what happened on April 19, 1993, was bigger. It wasn't four people who died-it was seventy-six. And those seventy-six were hiding in a bunker, cut off from the media, and threatening no one. There was nothing spontaneous about it; the federal government had been thinking about this for over a month. The Branch Davidians were essentially executed for being weirdos. reporters) spent a month reinvestigating the 1970 national guard shootings on the campus of Kent State University, a chapter in American history that is universally seen as a political tragedy. And it was. But I must admit that what happened at Waco seems worse. Kent State is tragic because four innocent people died while peacefully protesting an unpopular war. It was the result of underprepared national guardsmen responding extemporaneously (and poorly) in a situation where they felt physically threatened. May 4, 1970, was the single worst day of a mostly horrible era. But what happened on April 19, 1993, was bigger. It wasn't four people who died-it was seventy-six. And those seventy-six were hiding in a bunker, cut off from the media, and threatening no one. There was nothing spontaneous about it; the federal government had been thinking about this for over a month. The Branch Davidians were essentially executed for being weirdos.

I realize Koresh was f.u.c.king crazy. I'm not denying it. He was f.u.c.king crazy He was f.u.c.king crazy. Though the child-molestation stuff has never been verified, I don't doubt it. The fact that he believed he had to sire twenty-four kids so that they could rule the world seems like a creative way for a psycho to meet girls. Anyone who reads every line of the Bible as non-metaphoric text has limited credibility. So I realize he was f.u.c.king crazy. But our government does not typically kill people for being crazy. In fact, the reason they killed Koresh was because a minority of the population in Waco thought he was sane. And I know I probably shouldn't write "They killed Koresh," because no one will ever know who started the fires inside the Waco compound (academic Kenneth Newport has written extensively about how he believes the fires were set by the Davidians themselves, since this behavior falls in line with their belief system). That will always be the central question to this debate, and it's significantly more than a minor detail. But in ways that are more meaningful, it almost doesn't matter at all.

The U.S. Treasury Department reviewed the Waco disaster in 1999. One of the reviewers was Henry Ruth Jr., who had served as a prosecutor in the Watergate trial. "At least part of the ATF's motivation," said Ruth, "even if it never rose to the surface of discussion, was to enforce the morals of our society. To enforce the psyche of right thinking by retaliating against these odd people." That, ultimately, was the crime committed by the Branch Davidians: oddness. And they weren't even that odd: One of the Davidians was Wayne Martin, one of the first African-Americans to graduate from Harvard Law School. A common misconception about the Davidians was that they were all separatist Texans, probably because the only voice ever a.s.sociated with the cult is Koresh's drawl; the community was, in fact, remarkably international. Moreover, their unifying element does not strike me as unreasonable: They thought the world was ending. Which is not necessarily a ludicrous thing to believe-at some point, the world is is going to end. I'm not sure why someone would a.s.sume that's going to happen sooner than later, but I also have no f.u.c.king idea why the government would care if a hundred Texans were betting short. The ATF claimed the Davidians were stockpiling guns, a claim that is both true and absurd; the reason the Davidians stockpiled weapons was because they made money by buying and selling them at gun shows, one of the few ways they could make money without holding jobs in the outside world. The idea that these self-interested Bible scholars were h.o.a.rding weapons in order to going to end. I'm not sure why someone would a.s.sume that's going to happen sooner than later, but I also have no f.u.c.king idea why the government would care if a hundred Texans were betting short. The ATF claimed the Davidians were stockpiling guns, a claim that is both true and absurd; the reason the Davidians stockpiled weapons was because they made money by buying and selling them at gun shows, one of the few ways they could make money without holding jobs in the outside world. The idea that these self-interested Bible scholars were h.o.a.rding weapons in order to attack the rest of America attack the rest of America only proves that no one in the government (or the media) tried to understand those people at all. Granted, some of the weapons were illegal. That's true. They did have some AK-47s in the mix. But perhaps they thought they needed a few a.s.sault rifles, because perhaps they thought the FBI would drive tanks into their homes and fire tear gas at their children while broadcasting the phrase "This is not an a.s.sault" over an intercom. Maybe they thought the government would shoot at them from helicopters and burn them alive. They were, after all, insane. only proves that no one in the government (or the media) tried to understand those people at all. Granted, some of the weapons were illegal. That's true. They did have some AK-47s in the mix. But perhaps they thought they needed a few a.s.sault rifles, because perhaps they thought the FBI would drive tanks into their homes and fire tear gas at their children while broadcasting the phrase "This is not an a.s.sault" over an intercom. Maybe they thought the government would shoot at them from helicopters and burn them alive. They were, after all, insane.

I'm not going to attempt to prove that the FBI actively ignited the fires at Waco or consciously vented the compound to accelerate the speed of the blaze. Those arguments can be better understood by watching the William Gazecki doc.u.mentary Waco: The Rules of Engagement, Waco: The Rules of Engagement, the best resource for what (probably) happened that day. I'm actually going to go the other way on this; for the sake of argument, I will accept Joseph Biden's take on the Waco holocaust: "David Koresh and the Branch Davidians set fire to themselves and committed suicide. The government did not do that." This is quite possibly false, but I will accept it. And I will accept it because if it is true, it changes nothing. If he destroyed himself and his followers, he did so because life convinced him that he was right about everything (and that this event was the best resource for what (probably) happened that day. I'm actually going to go the other way on this; for the sake of argument, I will accept Joseph Biden's take on the Waco holocaust: "David Koresh and the Branch Davidians set fire to themselves and committed suicide. The government did not do that." This is quite possibly false, but I will accept it. And I will accept it because if it is true, it changes nothing. If he destroyed himself and his followers, he did so because life convinced him that he was right about everything (and that this event was supposed supposed to happen). He was being the person he had to be. And while that's a doomed perspective for anyone to embrace, it's certainly not uncommon: Koresh merely picked the wrong myths to believe unconditionally. to happen). He was being the person he had to be. And while that's a doomed perspective for anyone to embrace, it's certainly not uncommon: Koresh merely picked the wrong myths to believe unconditionally.

1A A lot of my favorite bands habitually wrecked their s.h.i.+t. Paul Stanley smashed a guitar at the end of every Kiss concert (they were specifically modified to self-destruct on impact). Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue always smashed his ba.s.s, whipping it by the strap like a Jamaican farmer flogging a goat. When Guns N' Roses went on A lot of my favorite bands habitually wrecked their s.h.i.+t. Paul Stanley smashed a guitar at the end of every Kiss concert (they were specifically modified to self-destruct on impact). Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue always smashed his ba.s.s, whipping it by the strap like a Jamaican farmer flogging a goat. When Guns N' Roses went on Headbangers Ball, Headbangers Ball, they ended their segment by destroying the entire MTV set. This kind of thing was not uncommon and never unexpected. And because it happened during the 1980s, the meaning of such behavior was specific: It proved that your band was successful. Metal bands did not smash guitars as an extension of chaos or rebellion-they smashed them to prove they could easily buy more. It wasn't a punk move. It was an antipunk move. That's why I liked it. they ended their segment by destroying the entire MTV set. This kind of thing was not uncommon and never unexpected. And because it happened during the 1980s, the meaning of such behavior was specific: It proved that your band was successful. Metal bands did not smash guitars as an extension of chaos or rebellion-they smashed them to prove they could easily buy more. It wasn't a punk move. It was an antipunk move. That's why I liked it.

The Clash smashed their instruments for political freedom, but also because it made for excellent photo opportunities. For years, the indie art rockers in . . . And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead destroyed their equipment at the conclusion of every single show, mostly to make people wonder how in the h.e.l.l they were able to afford doing so without selling any records. When Nirvana was new, audiences were shocked when they destroyed their stuff-that was pretty much the only stuff they had. By the time they were touring in support of In Utero, In Utero, people were equally shocked if they walked off the stage without Kurt diving into the drum kit like Walter Payton on third and goal. Near the end, it was widely known (or at least universally suspected) that Sub Pop founder Jonathan Poneman was mailing Cobain innumerable p.a.w.nshop guitars that he could