The Bodyguard's Return Part 14

She was determined to get some s.p.a.ce from him. "Look, all I plan to do for the next couple of days is go into the newspaper office then back home again. You've gone above and beyond for me and I appreciate it. But, let's be real, we have no idea when we'll have some answers about what's been going on and I certainly don't expect you to be my bodyguard for the rest of my life." She certainly knew better than to expect him to be anything to her for the rest of his life.

"You're right," he said after a moment of hesitation.

She sighed in relief. If he'd fought her on her decision to halt his bodyguard duties she wasn't sure she'd have been strong enough to hold her ground.

"You'll let me know if Dalton discovers anything else?" she asked.

"Of course," he agreed.

She opened the truck door and started to step out, but paused as he softly said her name. "If you get nervous or scared or something doesn't feel safe to you, you know I'm just a phone call away."

"I know that," she said, then slipped from the truck, wanting to be away from him before she said or did anything stupid.

Joshua watched her until she disappeared through Winnie's front door, then he backed out of the driveway and headed home.

He felt bad. He felt really bad. He knew he'd broken something between them and that no matter what happened in the future nothing would ever be the same where the two of them were concerned.

The closer he got to home, the heavier the weight of depression descended upon him. No matter how much he told himself Savannah meant nothing to him, that she'd been a diversion from reality, he knew he was lying to himself.

The s.e.x between them had been amazing, but that wasn't the only thing that drew him to her. She was intelligent and funny and had a warmth about her that drew people to her. But, he wasn't ready for somebody like her in his life. He wasn't ready for any woman in his life.

As he turned onto the West property, he thought about going back to the cabin. He knew the place would smell like her, that her scent would linger in the bedroom, amid the sheets.

d.a.m.n, he couldn't remember the last time he felt so confused, so unsure of his actions and emotions. She'd twisted him up inside in a way n.o.body had ever done.

Instead of driving by to get to his cabin, he pulled up out front of the big house and parked. For the first time since he'd returned from New York, he didn't feel like being alone. Judd and Jessie greeted him like old friends, following close at his heels as he went up the porch.

He entered the house and headed directly toward the kitchen where he found Smokey seated at the table, a ranching magazine opened before him.

"Hey, Joshua. What are you up to?" The old man closed the magazine and leaned back in his chair.

"Not much. Where's everyone else?" Joshua sat in the chair opposite Smokey.

"Your dad decided to call it an early night and has already gone to his room, and I think Meredith went out to the stables. You want something to eat? I've got plenty of leftovers from dinner."

"No, thanks. I ate at the cafe a little while ago."

"Where's your sidekick?"

"I left her at Winnie's."

"So, what's on your mind, son? You got that look in your eyes like you need to talk."

Joshua smiled and shook his head. Smokey knew him better than anyone, just like Smokey knew all the West kids inside and out. He'd always been able to tell if one of them needed to talk, had always known if one of them had burdens that needed to be shared.

"How about a drink?" Smokey got up and went to one of the cabinets and pulled down a bottle of whiskey. He poured them each a healthy splash of the liquor, then added a couple of ice cubes to each gla.s.s and rejoined Joshua at the table.

"Thanks." Joshua wrapped his hands around the gla.s.s. "I'm thinking about working again for the business."

"It's about d.a.m.n time," Smokey exclaimed. "I don't know what took you so long to make up your mind."

"I don't know. I guess I needed to sort things out in my head."

"It's in your blood, Joshua. You were born to work for Wild West Protective Services."

Smokey's words shot right to the heart of Joshua's insecurities. "That's what bothers me," he confessed after a moment of hesitation. "The idea that the job is there for me because I was born a West, because it's what the West boys do and it has nothing to do with my capabilities."

Smokey stared at him for a long moment, then took a drink and set the gla.s.s back down. "What's the matter with you? Do you really think your father would encourage you to come back to the business if you weren't capable?"

"Maybe," Joshua replied faintly, the single word deepening Smokey's scowl.

"h.e.l.l, he loves that business almost as much as he loves you kids. Do you really think he'd jeopardize the company reputation by putting you in position as a bodyguard when you aren't qualified?"

Smokey got up and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the countertop and carried it back to the table. "d.a.m.n boy, what did that time in the city do to you?"

He poured himself another shot of the drink and eyed Joshua intently. "If your daddy had any question about your ability as a bodyguard, he'd put you to work as a bookkeeper or a ranch hand. He would never risk anyone's life by a.s.signing a bodyguard who was inadequately trained, or physically and mentally unprepared."

Smokey's words found the tightness that had been in Joshua's chest for the past couple of weeks and eased it. In his heart Joshua knew the old man was right.

Wild West Protective Services had a stellar reputation. His father had worked most of his life to build a company that was known not only in the United States but worldwide for its security and capability.

Smokey was right. If Joshua wasn't good enough, he'd be the last man his father would want working for him, no matter how thick the blood they shared.

Joshua stared down into his gla.s.s. "It feels like failure, coming back here, coming back into the family fold. But I missed you all more than I thought I would." He hadn't realized how heavy the burden of feeling like a failure weighed on him until he'd spoken the words out loud.

"Since when is it a failure for a man to know where he wants to spend his life and who he wants around him? h.e.l.l, Joshua, it isn't a weakness to need the people you love. It isn't a weakness to surround yourself with people who love you."

Smokey held his gaze intently. "Does this have something to do with that red-haired chatter box?" Smokey asked. "She got you twisted up inside and doubting yourself?"

"No, it has nothing to do with her." He couldn't help but smile at Smokey's characterization of Savannah. He took a sip of his whiskey and relished the slow burn down to the pit of his stomach, then continued. "It's just that everything has always come easy for me. I don't feel like I've ever had to really prove myself or my worth."

Smokey grinned, the gesture lifting his white grisly eyebrows. "You're right. You were plumb spoiled by everyone and that's a fact. All of us catered to you, you being the youngest and all. You didn't have to work real hard to feel special." Smokey took another swallow of his drink. "Maybe we should have made it a little harder on you, but I suppose there's worse things than being surrounded by people who dote on you."

"Yeah, like having n.o.body who dotes on you." Once again his thoughts turned to Savannah. What would it have been like to be raised by people who never spoke of your worth, who never made you feel special?

He suspected in most cases it could destroy a person, but in Savannah he sensed a deep well of strength, a core of ident.i.ty that nothing and n.o.body could shake. He respected that in her.

He was also surprised to realize that it bothered him more than a little bit that she so easily had dismissed him, that she'd seemed perfectly content in keeping their relations.h.i.+p nothing more than a mutual l.u.s.tfest.

"What else is on your mind?" Smokey asked, breaking into his thoughts.

There was no way in h.e.l.l Joshua was going to confess that a woman he'd known only two short weeks was messing with his mind. Instead he found himself telling Smokey everything they had learned that afternoon and about their interview with Sheila.

"Have you talked to Ramsey about all of this?" Smokey asked, his grizzled eyebrows pulled together in a deep frown.

"Some of it, not all of it. I plan on meeting him first thing in the morning to fill him in on everything." Joshua finished the last of his whiskey, then leaned back in the chair. "Whatever this is about, Sheila Wadsworth is in it up to her neck."

"Sheila Wadsworth doesn't have the imagination or the guts to orchestrate what you think has been happening here," Smokey scoffed. "She might be in on it, but I'd bet you my good leg that she's only a grunt. Somebody else is in charge. Somebody here in town."

"And that's who I want. I want the man who is responsible for Charlie's death, for all the deaths that resulted in the sale of that land." A hard knot formed in his chest. "I'm hoping Dalton can find out something about the MoTwin Corporation. I want to know who's running it and what they intend to do with the land."

"If what you believe is true and all those men were murdered, then I'd guess this job is too big for Ramsey, too big for any of the local people to handle. Maybe it's time to get in touch with the FBI."

Joshua sighed. "You're right about this being too big for the local law. Unfortunately, right now all we have is supposition where those deaths are concerned. Knowing what's happening and proving it are two different things. And it's not against the law for a corporation to buy land. Until we have some sort of proof, I doubt if we could get the FBI interested."

"Maybe not officially, but you know we've got some contacts there we could call, some markers that could be cashed in," Smokey reminded him.

Joshua nodded and stood. Certainly over the years of working a variety of bodyguard duties, they had all run into FBI agents. In fact, Dalton had become particularly close to one, a man named Alex Bailey.

"I'll give it a couple of days and see what Dalton can find out about MoTwin, then I'll talk to him about him speaking to that buddy of his in the FBI."

"Sounds like a plan," Smokey replied.

"I guess I'll head back to the cabin. Thanks for the drink and the conversation, especially the conversation."

Smokey grinned. "h.e.l.l, boy, I didn't tell you anything you didn't know deep in your heart. I'll let you tell your daddy that you're coming back into the fold."

Joshua nodded, then turned and left. A few minutes later he unlocked his cabin door and went inside, instantly a.s.sailed by the scent of Savannah that lingered in the air.

It was a good thing that she'd released him from his bodyguard duties, he told himself. She'd been right. It might take some time to get to the bottom of things and he couldn't spend every minute of every day for the rest of his life in her company.

He wasn't even sure the two attacks were related to what was happening in Cotter Creek. If what they suspected was true and men had been murdered to get to their land, then why had the person who'd attacked Savannah in her bedroom not killed her?

Why had she just been beaten up rather than shot or stabbed? While the thought made his blood chill, it also gave him pause. If the attacker had been part of the land deal, then certainly another murder wouldn't have made much difference in the grand scheme of things.

He sat at the table and pulled his cell phone from his pocket. As he had almost every evening for the past week, he punched in Lauren's phone number. He still couldn't quite let go of the possibility that Lauren was here in town, that she was behind the attacks.

It rang three times, then she answered. He was so stunned by the sound of her voice, for a moment he couldn't find his own voice.

"h.e.l.lo? Is somebody there?" she asked.

"Lauren, it's me, Joshua." He sat up straighter in his chair. So, she was still in New York. But had she been there on the night that Savannah had been attacked? Or had she been here in Cotter Creek, exacting some sort of sick revenge on him?

"Well, well, a voice from the not-so-distant past. What do you want, Joshua?"

"I've been trying to call you for the past week."

"I took a week-long cruise, went to the Bahamas and basked on the beaches. The best thing I ever did for myself. Why have you been trying to reach me? Are you still out there in Oklahoma?"

He couldn't very well tell her he'd suspected that she might have followed him to Cotter Creek and terrorized Savannah. "Yeah, I'm still here. I just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay. The last time I saw you things got pretty ugly."

There was a long silence, then she sighed. "I'd like nothing better than to forget that night at the restaurant. I'm not proud of the way I acted, Joshua. All I can say now is that I'm sorry and I wish you the best of everything."

He believed her. He had no real reason to, but he believed that she'd been on a cruise and the only thing she wanted was to forget her bad behavior, forget him. He suddenly realized that maybe she wasn't the only one who needed to apologize.

"Lauren, I'm sorry for the way things worked out."

Again there was another moment of silence before she spoke. "It's not your fault you didn't fall in love with me," she replied softly. "But, let me give you a little unsolicited advice, Joshua. Don't sleep with a woman and before you're even out of her bed tell her how much she doesn't mean to you. It makes her feel stupid and worthless, and no woman in the world deserves to feel that way."

A vision of Savannah exploded in his head. Was that how he'd made her feel when he'd reiterated that he wanted nothing from her moments after they had made love?

"Thanks for the advice," he said aloud.

"Goodbye, Joshua. Please don't call me again. I'm moving on with my life."

Before he could reply she'd hung up. He replaced the phone in the cradle thoughtfully. He wasn't sure what bothered him more, the fact that he might have made Savannah feel worthless and stupid, or the knowledge that Lauren wasn't responsible for the attacks on her.

Chapter 13.

It was just after nine when Savannah decided to call it a night and go to bed. Winnie had retired a half hour earlier, and for the past thirty minutes Savannah had been sitting alone at the kitchen table.

The sharpness of her heartache surprised her. She'd never expected anything from Joshua and the fact that he'd really offered her nothing shouldn't be so painful. But it was.

Falling in love with him had been the last thing she'd expected, the last thing she'd wanted. But he'd snuck into her heart when she hadn't been looking.

She should have known the moment she met him that he was trouble. She should have never enlisted his aid in her investigation. And yet she knew if she hadn't they wouldn't have discovered everything they had.

She got up from the table and moved to the kitchen window and stared outside. It was an unusually dark night with no moonlight piercing through thick clouds. The darkness mirrored her mood.

The ring of the phone made her jump. She hurried to answer before the blaring noise disturbed Winnie.

"Savannah, it's Sheila...Sheila Wadsworth."

Any weariness Savannah might have felt shot away. "Sheila, what's up?" she asked.

"We need to talk. Just the two of us." Tension was evident in the woman's voice.

Savannah clutched the phone more tightly against her ear. "Just tell me when and where."

"In thirty minutes at Big K's Truck Stop out off old Highway 10. You know the place?"

"Yes," Savannah replied.

"Please, come alone and don't tell anyone you're meeting me. I'm putting myself at risk. I trust you, Savannah, but I don't trust anyone else and you shouldn't either."

"Okay, I'll see you in thirty minutes," Savannah confirmed.

Sheila hung up before Savannah could say another word. Savannah quickly grabbed her purse and her car keys and after scribbling a quick note to Winnie to let her know she'd gone out, Savannah left the house.

It would take her all of the thirty minutes to get to Big K's Truck Stop, which was a good twenty or thirty miles south of Cotter Creek.