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Chapter Nine.
Lexa was too stunned to move for several moments. Everything had happened too fast for her mind to process it at one time and her first thought was that Gabriel had hit her in a fit of anger. The ferocious snarls of the large cat and his wild dance on Gabrielas chest penetrated the fog of confusion, however, and she leapt to her feet without a.s.sessing her personal damage, racing back and then freezing for several critical moments while she tried to a.s.sess the situation.
Gabriel had managed to pull his club from his belt, she saw, but head caught the large cat with both hands as it pounced and she could see it was all he could do to hold the cat at bay as it snarled and snapped, surging toward his face in an effort to maul his face and vulnerable throat with its wicked teeth.
Lexa whipped a look around for a weapon. Seeing nothing promising, she grabbed at Gabrielas club, only to discover it was still trapped in his hand that was gripping the catas throat. There was nothing else, though, and she wrenched at it until she finally managed to dislodge it. She very nearly broke Gabrielas grip in the process, but although she noticed, she was focused on a counter attack. As soon as she had the club firmly in her grip, she commenced to pounding on the catas head with it. That didnat seem to have any other effect than to make it harder for Gabriel to evade the catas teeth and to make the cat writhe and twist more furiously.
aLexa!a Gabriel bellowed. aDonat help!a Ignoring the order, Lexa merely changed targets and began to beat the cat across the shoulders and back with the club. When she saw that wasnat having the desired affect either, beyond wearing her out and making the cat more furious, she stepped back to a.s.sess the situation.
That was when she focused on the catas a.s.s. The cat was crouched on top of Gabriel, itas a.s.s in the air. The animalas swinging b.a.l.l.s caught her attention first, and then the exposed r.e.c.t.u.m as it whipped its tail furiously. She looked down at her weapon, saw the tip narrowed down almost to a point, and rammed the point at the catas r.e.c.t.u.m. Her aim was dead on. The tip penetrated the catas a.s.shole. The cat leapt upward with an earsplitting scream, tore free of Gabrielas grip, and charged off into the darkness, wrenching the club, which was wedged in his a.s.shole, from Lexaas grip.
Fortunately, it lost the club.
Panting for breath, Lexa leapt over Gabriel to retrieve it. When she decided the cat had had enough and wasnat coming back, she rushed back to Gabriel. aHow bad are you hurt?a she gasped.
Gabriel had already pushed himself upright and was examining his injuries. He was cut and bleeding all over from the catas claws. aCould be better,a he muttered and then looked up at Lexa. aCould be worse.a He frowned and extended his hand. aThe trida.a Lexa blinked at him. aWhat?a aThe weapon you were clubbing the cat with,a he said dryly.
aOh!a She laid it across his palm.
He shook his head. aItas against the law to touch the weapon of a Lawgiver.a Lexa gaped at him, feeling a surge of fear. aBut a. I didnat have nothina else a.a Gritting his teeth, he got to his feet, clearly in pain. aYouare lucky you didnat accidently activate it.a He frowned, examining the weapon. aIt should have jolted you when you touched it. The weapon is calibrated to my DNA.a At that, Lexa looked down at her stinging palm and saw that it was burned. Gabriel was studying her when she looked up again. aI guess I was too excited to notice.a He frowned. aI guess thatas what convinced the cougar to leave,a he said slowly, clearly confused.
aI donat know. I shoved it up his a.s.s and he screamed and took off.a Gabriel gaped at her in disbelief. aYou did what?a aI shoved the point up his a.s.s.a He stared at her blankly a moment longer and then abruptly burst out laughing.
Stunned, Lexa merely stared at him at first, but the sound of pure amus.e.m.e.nt was infectious. She felt her lips curl upward in response and then she thought about what shead done and she started laughing, too. aGuess he didnat like n.o.body messing with his a.s.shole.a Gabriel let out a fresh roar of laughter at that, holding his stomach. aStop! Iam in too much pain to laugh.a That comment sobered Lexa. She frowned at him worriedly. aWe need to do something about those scratches and bites. They get infected real easy.a Gabriel shrugged dismissively. Turning, he headed toward the pool. Lexa followed him, too worried about his injuries to pay much attention to what he was doing a at first. When she saw head peeled away his formfitting suit from his upper torso, however, she halted abruptly.
She didnat know whether to be disappointed or relieved when he left it at that, left the upper part dangling and crouched to scoop up water. He hissed as he poured the water over the cuts from the catas claws and she felt a flicker of sympathy but the truth was she was far too fascinated with his bare flesh to really think about much else.
She crouched beside him, watching him for a few moments. He flicked a glance at her and then, frowning, ignored her. The muscles beneath his skin rolled and bunched with his movements, fascinating her. She began to feel the urge to touch them to see what it felt like.
For a few moments desire warred with fear and then curiosity won out. Scooping up a palm full of water, she poured it over one of the claw marks on his bulging upper arm and then coasted her palm and fingers lightly over his skin.
It felt amazing to touch him. It made her belly do all sorts of strange things.
He stiffened, flicking her a sharp look and Lexa jerked her fingers back reflexively. A muscle tightened in his jaw. aI donat need help.a She felt her face redden at the rebuke. Shooting to her feet, she rushed blindly back to the campsite in complete disorder and scrambled into her pallet. Her heart was still beating frantically in her chest. She wasnat sure if it was from fear or something else, but she thought it was a combination of fear and that something else. She was embarra.s.sed, too. She was fairly sure that he knew shead been more focused on touching him than helping. Underlying all of that, though, was an odd sense of hurt.
She examined the sense of hurt since she didnat want to probe her reaction to touching him too deeply and realized that she didnat feel wounded by his rejection of help so much as she was hurt by the sense that he considered her foul in some way and her touch revolted him.
She didnat have to search hard to figure that out!
As cool and distant as he was most of the time, there was an underlying aura of contempt. He didnat just exude confidence. He exuded disdain and revulsion toward humans in general a"not her in particular, but it was clear that he lumped her in with all the others.
And why wouldnat he? She was nothing special, no different, really, than any of the others.
She was almost sorry shead helped the a.s.shole!
The spark of anger didnat actually ignite, but it was potent enough to chase away most of the hurt.
Rolling over, she curled into a tight ball, snuggled under her thin blanket, and closed her eyes resolutely. He was nothing special himself, she told herself. Shead touched him. His skin felt pretty much like human skin. The flesh was hard beneath and silky smooth to her palm and fingertips, but that really wasnat so different either. Ralph was hard like that a in places, his arms anyway.
So he had wings! He was a stinking angel-demon!
Not that he actually stank. He actually smelled good. But they didnat belong here. None of them. Theyad just come from the stars and taken over and it wasnat theirs to take over. That was why everybody else hated thema"well mostly. They hated them because they were scared of them, too.
She shouldave just let the cat bite his head off! Then she couldave gone back to her old lifea"which wasnat great but it wasnat that bad either. How stupid was it that shead helped the b.a.s.t.a.r.d when she didnat even know what sort of evil things he might have it in his head to do to all of them?
He claimed his people were going to help them, but how much of that could she really believe?
For all she knew, they might eat humans! It was obvious Gabriel thought of them as nothing but animals.
And head laughed at her effort to help, she recalled abruptly, feeling suddenly ashamed and embarra.s.sed.
Lexa wasnat happy when Gabriel approached her, but she held her ground instead of leaping to her feet and running.
She was sorry shead been so stubbornly determined to prove she wasnat afraid of him when he crouched in front of her and held out his hand. aLet me see your hand.a She eyed him distrustfully. aWhy?a His lips tightened. aWounds can get infected really quickly here and humans donat seem to fight them very well. Let me see the burn.a Reluctantly, Lexa held her hand out. She figured she might as well because he looked determined and he might deign to touch her if she refused.
He studied her palm without touching her and then reached into a pocket and withdrew a small vial. Removing the top, he caught her wrist with his free hand and then tapped a little of the contents onto her palm.
It burned like holy h.e.l.l! Lexa sucked in her breath at the unexpected pain.
To her surprise, he blew on it, cooling the burn. aItall only sting a minute. Donat wipe it off. The pax will prevent infection.a Blinking back the tears that filled her eyes, Lexa flicked a glance at his face. She discovered he was watching her and for a long moment his gaze snagged hers. aWhat you did last night a. That was a brave thing. Stupid, but brave. Thank you for helping. But donat ever do anything like that again.a Lexa blinked at him. Her face had already started reddening from what she thought was a reminder of the incident by the pool. It took an effort to change gears when she realized he was talking about the attack. She didnat know how to take his commentsa"as praise or a rebuke. It sounded like both.
She felt like agreeing with him that, yes, it had been stupid. She shouldave let the cat eat him, but she decided against it.
aSorry, now, that you didnat just let that cougar eat me?a he asked, amus.e.m.e.nt threading his voice.
A chill went through Lexa. She wondered again if he could read minds.
He looked like he might say something else. Instead, he straightened abruptly, capped the vial and shoved it into his pocket again.
Lexa focused on her palm, but the pain was already subsiding and, to her surprise, the burn wasnat nearly as red as it had been before.
They had wondrous things, the angels, whether it was magic or not.
It was a d.a.m.ned shame they were such a.s.sholes!
Gah-re-al thought it had probably been one of the worst mistakes head ever made when head followed Lexa to the pool and then stayed to watch her bathe. It made no difference that head followed her because head believed she meant to slip away. That had been reasonable motivation for following her to start with. It also hadnat been a mistake to stay when head seen what her intention was since she was under his protection and it was immediately evident that she was deafened to danger by the rush of water or she wouldave heard his approach.
Watching her had been the mistake. He couldave stood guard and protected her without actually watching her. He should have retreated when he saw her intention and merely kept an eye open for any threat.
Instead, head allowed himself to become distracted, to become so deeply enthralled that head been as blind and deaf to danger as she had been and that might easily have gotten them both killed. Head given in to temptation, telling himself that it was nothing more than a natural urge for any male to want to look at any naked femalea"primitive or nota"a natural curiosity to see how different the human female was from the females of his own species. He hadnat had a woman in a while, after all, hadnat had the time to appease his natural urges.
Head already been far too interested in her for his comfort, though, and watching certainly hadnat squelched his interest. Why he was interested when he certainly shouldnat have been, he didnat know. He wasnat inclined to examine a physical attraction to a woman. He was attracted or he wasnat. If head been no more than mildly curious, though, he knew he wouldnat have watched her as he had. Once head seen that there was no difference between a human woman and an udaia"beyond the fact that humans were flightless, which he already knewa"he wouldave dismissed her and retreated.
If head had any sense he wouldnat have studied her so raptly anyway, he thought derisively.
Before that incident, though, he was fairly certain head had his libido firmly in control and his interest was more curiosity than l.u.s.t, more a product of having gone too long without a woman than a particular interest in her. Since then, he hadnat been able to convince himself it was anything else.
Head spent a long, miserably uncomfortable night trying to reason the l.u.s.t away and he was hornier now that he had been when head started trying to banish the images planted so firmly in his head.
And for a primitivea"a human female!
A female so emaciated from semi-starvation that he shouldave been repelled even if she hadnat been a human female!
He supposed the truth was that head begun to see her in a totally different way as soon as shead told him everyone believed she was his woman. From that moment, even though head been outraged at the suggestion, head stopped thinking of her simply as an aliena"a s.e.xless creature that he was obligated to protecta"and seen her as a woman. Head had to discipline his thoughts over and over since then, but he thought head been completely in control until shead fired his imagination by asking him why a woman would want him to f.u.c.k her. Head wanted to show her then and every time head looked at her since head been tempted to broach the subject again to see if he could convince her to let him show her.
Watching her bathe had just made him more fixated on f.u.c.king her.
Stupid move, really stupid!
Evidently, she wasnat particularly attracted or interested in learning why, he thought irritably. Shead been careful to keep her distance since, and not just physically. He didnat think that it was just his imagination that shead seemed to be losing her distrust, seemed to be warming toward friendlinessa"something he hadnat wanted to promote anyway!
It had occurred to him when head followed her to the pool and found her bathing that she might have orchestrated the entire situation, that she might not have been oblivious to his presence, but the look on her face when shead discovered him had pretty well squelched that fantasy. She not only hadnat been aware, she hadnat been happy to discover head seen her everything. Shead looked appalled not seductive.
His just deserts, he supposed, for leaping to the conclusion that she was as manipulative and calculating as Maya!
It was unfortunate that head been too p.i.s.sed off about the cat attack to seize the moment when shead touched him. He thought that had been more sympathy for his injuries, though, than s.e.xual interest and head been in no frame of mind for seduction!
Which was a great pity because he was fairly certain she wasnat going to give him another opportunity!
He shouldave been relieved by that realization. He didnat need the kind of complication in his life that was likely to arise from that sort of liaisona"if he should achieve it. But he was just too p.i.s.sed offa"and h.o.r.n.ya"to feel any sort of relief.
In the ordinary way of thingsa"before shead met Gabriel, at any ratea"Lexaas mind was usually preoccupied with food and water and how to get both as she trekked across the land. Almost from the beginning of their march, however, shead been preoccupied with Gabriel himself. Before the attack shead been focused on watching for an opportunity to escape and anxiety about his plans for them, but mostly her own hide. After the attack, shead been preoccupied with her fascination with him as a man. The incidents the night before and that morning before theyad gathered their belongings and resumed their journey had successfully thrown her into more conflicting emotions, though, and she was so deeply engrossed in untangling her contradictory thoughts and feelings that she barely noticed her surroundings.
The rebuff when shead touched him stung more than she would ever have admitted to a soula"more than she wanted to admit to herselfa"but it was the source of a good bit of anger. She thought most of that was anger directed at herself and mostly from embarra.s.sment. She didnat think she wouldave been quite as mortified if not for the fact that she suspected he knew why shead touched him. Maybe she would still have been discomfited and angry about the rejection, but she would have at least had the comfort of knowing he had been unaware. She didnat even have that, though, and that magnified her anger and humiliation.
If head just left it at that, she thought she wouldave been far better off. She couldave convinced herself that she hated him and she didnat actually find him attractive at all. He was an a.s.shole and that tarnished his physical perfection to such a degree that it basically nullified it.
But, no! He couldnat even do that! Head felt compelled for some reason to act concerned about her and had even unbent so far as to actually thank her for helpinga"even while head f.u.c.ked that up by, basically, reminding her that he didnat need her help or appreciate it.
She didnat understand him at all, but she thought she needed to pound it into her head that he was as contemptuous of her as he was all the other humans. He tolerated her presence only because he was doing his job. He didnat want her as his woman. He didnat even think of her as woman. He despised humansa"and that included her.
Unfortunately, it was really hard to focus on building up a wall of defense, on convincing herself that she despised him when shead spent so many days fantasizing about the man a because shead already more than half convinced herself that he was interested in her as a woman. That attempt at self-defense was made more difficult by the images that kept flickering through her mind and refused to be banished, images of how head looked with the moonlight glistening on his damp skin. Because every time those pictures rose in her mindas eye, she felt the same breathless excitement/fear shead felt then, when shead struggled to get up the nerve to touch him, as if she was standing on the edge of a cliff and felt some unseen force pus.h.i.+ng her to take the leap.
She couldnat leave it alone no matter how many times she brought her thoughts to a halt and redirected them. She kept worrying it over like an aching tooth. He was like the dancing light of a campfire, fascinating, mesmerizing, tempting her to try to get closer and closer even though she knew she was going to get burned if she got too close.
It dawned on her after a while, when shead exhausted herself going back and forth with aI hate him, I hate him nota what the other thing was that made her keep going over and over the memory of the attack.
There hadnat been anything but moonlight to illuminate the scene, but she had good night vision and she finally realized when she allowed her mind to focus on the attack itself that shead seen the cat that had attacked Gabriel better than shead thought she had at first. Well enough that the asomethinga strange about it finally hit her.
The cat was sleek and strong and well fed.
Most of the animals she saw looked like the people she encountereda"skinny and underfed. Like it was for her, survival was a constant battle. There never seemed to be enough food and there was always so much work that needed to be done to get it that there was no filling out the bones.
So where had the cat come from that it looked so well fed?
Emerging from her focus on her thoughts after a while, Lexa scanned the terrain around her. Was it pure imagination, she wondered, or was there a lot more green than she was used to seeing? Less bare, scarred dirt?
Pausing after a few minutes, she moved away from the group and crouched down to examine a patch of green. It wasnat moss as shead thought, which was most of what she generally saw that was green. Instead of the afurrya mat, this was tiny, thin blades. Frowning in confusion, she glanced around from her lower vantage point and saw that even what at first appeared to be bare patches of dirt had tiny green sprigs.
They werenat all the same. There were different shades of green and some of the blades werenat long and thin but more rounded and shorter.
Different plants, but all young and just sprouting from the soil.
It reminded her of Siras fieldsa"except he never managed to get so much to sprout and his was confined to narrow rows.
A shadow fell over her and she looked up to discover that Gabriel had come to stand over her.
Irritation flickered through hera"and discomfort.
Ignoring her frown, he crouched beside her. aThe new seedlings are sprouting,a he said with satisfaction.
aThese were planted?a Lexa asked in surprise, immediately forgetting her discomfort and anger that he seemed to watch her so closely.
Gah-re-al sent her a look of surprise. aYouare familiar with planting?a It was actually insulting, Lexa thought with fresh anger, that he thought she didnat know anything at all! aSir planted things,a she said stiffly. She decided not to elaborate. He hadnat had nearly this kind of success and she wanted to put Gabriel in his place, not reinforce his conviction that humans couldnat do anything. aSo your people planted this?a she asked when he looked like he might pursue that line of questioning.
Something flickered in his eyes. aThey spread the seeds. Theyave been genetically altered to adapt to the conditions. This world has had a drastic climate change since those plants grew here naturally.a He lifted his head, surveying the terrain. aFrom what we can determine.a Lexa wasnat certain she understood much of what he was talking about, but it triggered a memory from her childhood. aSir said it was different after the bomb.a He sent her a sharp glance. aBomb?a Lexa shrugged. aThey didnat know what it was. n.o.body saw it, n.o.body that lived anyway, that Iave ever heard. Sir said his parents thought they had dropped the bomb, though.a aThey who?a She shrugged again. aJust they. His parents never told him who atheya were. They werenat even sure that was what happened, but there was fire and then the sky was full of clouds and the sun could barely s.h.i.+ne through at all and thatas when everything began to die and there only seemed to be one seasona"winter.a aa.s.suming it actually was his parents and not his grandparents a two generations a more or less,a he said speculatively, then added with conviction, aIt wasnat a bomb.a Lexa frowned. aHow do you know?a aAny bomb capable of so much destruction would leave enough radiation to make this a completely dead world. Nothing would grow for hundreds or thousands of years a if ever again. There are areas with elevated radiation but nothing significant enough to make the bomb theory work.a He looked down at her, studying her speculatively. aYour fatheras parents told him about it?a Lexa wasnat sure she liked his interest. The questions made her uneasy, mostly because she could see it wasnat idle curiosity. aYes.a aSo he was born after?a She was sure of that point. She shook her head. aHe talked about aaftera, but he remembered abeforea. I was born aaftera.a aHow old a? Do you know how old he was?a Lexa stared at him blankly, trying to figure out what he was talking about.
aHow many years since Siras birth when it happened? How many since his birth would Sir be now?a aBirthdays?a Lexa asked when the mention of his birth triggered a memory.
Gah-re-al struggled for a moment to come up with the reference and finally recalled that it was their word for each anniversary after their birtha"at least the builders had. So maybe that was why Lexa seemed different than the others? Maybe her father had been descended from the builders just as the man she called Sir seemed to have been? aYes.a aHe had ten birthdays before. He used to talk about the birthdays. He said they were pretty and they tasted wonderful. They put candles on them and set them on fire.a Gabriel stared at her blankly, confused when head thought moments before that he knew what she was talking about, but although he knew that the old ones had celebrated births and anniversaries of them, nothing shead said seemed to coincide with anything head learned. She seemed to be talking about a thing rather than an event.
After a few moments, he realized it was a dead end anyway. She didnat seem to understand the correlation between birth anniversaries and age. He might as well take a wild guess himself.
Not that he supposed it mattered a great deal. Head been told to get as much information as he could so that the khabler, the archeologists, could crosscheck it against the data they were collecting and the theories theyad come up with, but wild speculation was as useless as their theories.
aIs your fathera"Sira"still alive?a Lexa felt a jolt go through her at the question. Partly that was because it triggered a flood of memories shead tried very hard to block from her mind. Mostly, though, it was because it struck her abruptly that there was more than idle curiosity behind the questions. He was looking for information and she was suddenly uneasy about his motives.
Not that there was anything he could do to Sira"she was certain he was dead. And for all she knew the man whoad fathered her was, but the fact that head asked seemed to indicate that hea"meaning the angel-demonsa"was looking for others and she wasnat about to help them, not when, regardless of what shead been told, she had no certainty of why they wanted to track all of her people down. Finally, she merely shrugged.
aYou donat know? Or you donat want to say?a He hooked a finger beneath her chin and forced her to meet his gaze when she didnat answer. She struggled to a.s.sume the blank mask she always wore when any show of emotion was liable to set Ralphas temper off.
Not that looking perfectly blank ever really made him happy.
It didnat satisfy Gabriel either. After a moment, he released her, rose to his full height and strode away.