A Star Looks Down Part 23

Are you staying here?

' He shook his head.

"No, I shall drive to my own home, just this side of Utrecht.

' "Is that where you work?

William said something about Leyden.

' "I work there too sometimes, but mostly at Utrecht.

Go to bed now, Elizabeth, I'll be over in a few days to see how you're getting on.

' Her face lit up.

"Oh, will you?

That'll be super.

Is it far to Utrecht?

' "No--just over an hour's run if you keep up a good speed.

You shall come and see my home one day, dear girl.

' She glowed at the very idea.

"Oh, may I?

I should like that, you see it's nice to know where you live and what your home's like and.

' she stopped and went on lamely: "When you remember people--when you think of them.

' "And will you think of me, Bern?

' She stared up at him, her pansy eyes wide.

"Oh, yes, more than I. .

' A look of utter shock crossed her face.

"Oh, I am a fool," she said in a stunned little voice, and turned and ran for the stairs.

He caught her easily enough before she was even half-way up and without a word sat her down on a tread and lowered himself to sit beside her.

"Will you tell me, or shall I tell you?

' he asked gently.

"No--' her voice was quiet too but rather high.

"Don't you see, if you don't talk about something, you can pretend it isn't true.

' She made this childish remark without looking at him and so missed the tender amus.e.m.e.nt in his eyes; a smile which tugged at the corners of his mouth as well when she went on, with a fine disregard for what she had just said: "I believe it happens a lot, this--this situation-at least, it does in books.

' The amus.e.m.e.nt was there, but he kept his voice placid.

"And you think that if we ignore this--er--situation, it will go away, as it were?

Is that what you want, little Partridge?

' "Yes--and I wish you would not call me little Partridge in that way, it--it makes me feel.

' She gave up the rest of what she was going to say, although her voice was still nice and steady, even though her awakened heart gave a sickening lurch at the very thought of him going out of her life for ever just when she had, as it were, discovered him.

All the same, she would have to get things straight.

"T've not been in love before," she told him.

"Once or twice I thought I was, but that's quite different, isn't it?

But I'm a sensible girl, you know, with no time to moon around, so there's--there's no harm done," she swallowed bravely, 'and of course it's quite different for you--you must have loads of girlfriends; William has a different one every week.

' "William," said the profess or with some asperity, 'is a dozen years or more younger than I. ' "Oh, I know, but you're very good-looking and successful and a famous surgeon, and so--so nice.

The girls at St Elmer's were quite turned on--you only had to lift a finger.

' "Contrary to your mistaken reading of my character, my girl, I am not in the habit of chatting up the birds.

' "Well, I don't suppose you have a great deal of time, do you?

' she agreed soberly, unaware of his silent amus.e.m.e.nt.

They sat without speaking for a few minutes; the profess or seemed content to say nothing and Beth wanted only to go somewhere nice and quiet and have a good cry, but she was a tidy-minded girl and she wasn't sure that she had made herself quite clear.

"I think," she began again, 'it would be best if we forgot this conversation, don't you?

' "I have a rententive memory," interposed her companion meekly.

"Well, I can't help that," she replied, nettled, 'and it can't be all that difficult for you; it isn't as if that is, you don't really fancy me, do you?

It's only because we've seen rather a lot of each other just lately and you've not seen any other girls.

But we're not likely to see much of each other, are we, and I'm only here for a week or two.

' "You consider me quite unsuitable, little Partridge?

' "Not you me, but you don't have to worry about that.

' "Ah, no.

You are very sensible; you have already told me so.

' The trouble was that he was so very easy to talk to; she was pouring out her thoughts and feelings like water from a bucket when she should have hidden them behind a sudden headache or something.

Instead of which she had actually let him see that she was in love with him.

Well, if he had been surprised, so had she.

She pulled herself together and said again: "You must have any number of girls.

' The profess or hid a smile.

"Oh, I have, Elizabeth, I have.

Safety in numbers, so they say.

' "Well, then.

' But she couldn't go on, her throat was thick with tears and there was really no need to say any more; she had made her point.

It was quite a relief when the profess or, not looking at her, said cheerfully: "Go to bed, Beth.

You have told me twice that you're a sensible girl and wish to forget this whole conversation, so let us do just that.

' He got up and pulled her to her feet.

"Off with you!

' She flew upstairs, not looking back, because if she did she would have flown down again straight into his arms and suffered the bitter humiliation of knowing that he was being kind to her because he felt regret for something which had actually been no fault of his.

He hadn't encouraged her, she sobbed to herself as she got ready for bed, not once; he had been friendly and kind, and if she hadn't been such a little fool she would have known that she was falling in love with him and done something about it.

Exactly what, she had no idea.

CHAPTER EIGHT.

viewed in the early light of the morning, it was a nightmare; Beth went hot and cold just thinking about it.

What must he have thought of her, letting him see so easily that she had fallen in love with him?

True, she had done her best to put that right, hadn't she, but thinking about it, she wasn't sure if she had succeeded.

But there was nothing to do about it now; she would have to stay until Mevrouw Thor becke had found someone else or felt well enough to cope herself, because she had promised that she would, and if she kept out of his way it might not be too awful.

The thought depressed her.

It was fortunate that the very nature of her work kept her so busy that she had very little leisure in which to ponder her situation.

The children wouldn't be going back to school for another few weeks.

Beth wasn't sure why; something to do with their father returning, she supposed, so in the meanwhile she controlled their natural exuberance to the best of her ability, taught them English; regular lessons in reading and writing each day, and accompanied them to the heated swimming pool at the bottom of the garden and, a little 170 apprehensively, swam with them.

They were all very good at it, even Alberdina, and Dirk, for one, made no secret of his scorn at her efforts to keep afloat.

She found this a little hard to bear, but since their little adventure in the Cheddar Gorge, he had persistently cold shouldered her, although he was always polite now; unnaturally so for a boy of ten, she considered--never smiling at her, never admitting her to the close friends.h.i.+p she enjoyed with the other children.

She tried to be philosophical about it; children were as ent.i.tled to dislike people as grown-ups, only they had started out on such a good footing and she had no idea why it had gone wrong.

They went cycling too, and here she was able to hold her own with her charges, as they sped along the paths beside the main roads, with Dirk always in the lead, and herself bringing up the rear, with a hand on Alberdina's small shoulder to steady her on her own miniature bike.

And in the evenings, when the children were in bed, she sat with Mevrouw Thor becke, talking about clothes or watching television, and sometimes, when Mevrouw Thor becke was bored or depressed, Beth sat down at the grand piano in the enormous bay window of the sitting room and played little bits of anything that came into her head.

She played rather well, and her companion, nicely soothed, would frequently confide her small worries to her.

Beth listened silently, nodding her head from time to time and making soothing sounds as she played; she liked the other girl; they were as different as chalk from cheese and the profess or's sister was undoubtedly spoiled and lazy, relying upon her husband for just about everything, and when he wasn't there, her brother, but she loved her children dearly and from what Beth could make out, adored her husband.

It must be wonderful to be cherished like that, thought Beth, who hadn't been cherished for a very long time, and sighed as she brought her music to a halt and suggested a game of cards.

The profess or came on Sat.u.r.day morning, looking tired and driving a magnificent Aston Martin Lagonda.

He suffered his small relations' rapturous greetings with calm, attended without fuss to several household matters which his sister a.s.sured him were pressing, nodded casually to Beth when he met her, and declared his intention of going sailing for the greater part of the day, and if the children wished to accompany him they were free to do so.