Princess Diaries Series: Forever Princess Part 20

And why should he? It's not as if there's anything to be jealous about. Michael doesn't like me like that, despite what Dad-and Tina-might think. I'm sure he just donated the CardioArm to be nice.

And Micromini Midori...the fact that he sent her to teach the surgeons how to use it? That doesn't mean she and Michael aren't going out. It just means they're in such a stable relations.h.i.+p that they can be away from each other for weeks at a time and it doesn't bother them a bit.

What am I blathering about? Who cares if Michael and Micromini Midori are dating? I'm wearing a promise ring from another guy! To whom I am going to lose my virginity after the prom this coming Sat.u.r.day! What is wrong with me?

Really-What IS wrong with me? I shouldn't even be thinking about any of this stuff! I have a French final in fifteen minutes!

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE FACT THAT MICHAEL SENT A CARDIOARM TO THE ROYAL GENOVIAN HOSPITAL?????.

And I can't stop thinking about him for even one second, and I'm due to lose my virginity to my boyfriend after the prom in four days (three if you don't count today)????

Wednesday, May 3, French final Mia-Are you done with the final? T Yes. That was horrible.

I know! What did you get for number 5?

I don't know. Future perfect, I think. I don't remember anymore. I'm trying to block it out.

Same here. So. I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but what are you going to do about Michael, and the fact that he did what he did? Because, no matter what you say, Mia, you can't deny-no guy is going to send a CardioArm to the country of a girl he doesn't like.

See, I knew this was going to happen. Tina takes everything and wraps it up in silver tissue paper and puts a big bow on it and calls it Love.

And I'm supposed to be the romance writer.

He doesn't like me! Not like like me. He just did it to be nice. For old times' sake. I'm sure.

Well, I don't see how you can be sure when you haven't even spoken to him about it. Have you spoken to him about it?

Well, no. Not yet. I'm not sure I'm going to, either. Because, in case you don't remember, Tina, I'm promise-ringed to someone else.

That doesn't give you the right to be rude! When someone goes to all the trouble of donating a CardioArm to your country, the least you can do is personally thank him! Although that doesn't mean you have to sleep with him, or anything. I'm sure Michael isn't expecting anything like that. You could kiss him though.

Oh my G.o.d.

Whose side are you on, anyway, Tina? J.P.'s, or Michael's?

J.P.'s, of course! Because that's who you've chosen, right? I mean...haven't you? It would be pretty weird if that's NOT who you've chosen, seeing as how you're wearing his ring, and plan on spending the night with him on Sat.u.r.day.

Of course I chose J.P.! Michael broke up with me, remember?

Mia, that was almost two years ago. Things are different now. You're different now.

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP SAYING THIS?.

OH MY G.o.d YOU GUYS I JUST GOT OUT OF MY LAST GERMAN FINAL EVER! No more German finals ever! At least for me! I think in college I'm going to take Spanish because then I'll be able to order more things when I go to Cabo for break instead of just tacos.

------------- Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device Lana, don't you think Mia should call Michael to thank him for donating a CardioArm to the Royal Genovian Hospital?

Whatevs, she should just call him because he is HOT like a red-hot chili pepper like the kind I'll be learning about when I start taking SPANISH instead of GERMAN!!!!

------------- Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device See? Mia, just text Michael. Thank him for what he did. That's not hurting J.P. I mean, you already met with Michael and didn't tell J.P. And okay, maybe Michael did it because Lilly told him what she overheard us saying in the bathroom. But chances are he was going to send it anyway. So just call him.

You think he sent it because Lilly told him she overheard me say I still like him? I'm going to be sick!!!!!

No! I said MAYBE that's why he did it!

OH MY G.o.d that IS why he did it! I know it! Oh my G.o.d. OH MY G.o.d!!!!!!

Look, I'm sure that's NOT why. But...you should call him and find out.

Wait a minute...I'm going to Genovia for break from now on. I should take French next year. What's French for tacos?

------------- Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device When I go to college the first thing I'm going to do is pick out all new friends. Because the friends I currently have are psychotic.

Wednesday, May 3, 4 p.m., limo on the way to

Grandmere's condo at the Plaza

Sebastiano has picked out a half dozen gowns from his latest collection for me to try on to wear to the prom, and I'm meeting him at Grandmere's to check them out.

I have a feeling they're going to be horrible, but I guess I shouldn't be so judgmental. I really liked the last formal gown of his that I wore (to the Nondenominational Winter Dance my freshman year. Can it really have been so long ago? It seems like yesterday). Just because Sebastiano's selling his stuff at Wal-Mart doesn't mean it's going to be awful.

Anyway, I've been writing and deleting texts to Michael the whole way up in the car. I've been trying them out on Lars. (He thinks I'm nuts, clearly. But then, what else is new?) It's really hard to capture just the right casually breezy, yet still warmly sincere tone.

Lars thinks I should go with this: Dear Michael, I can't tell you how surprised yet pleased I was to hear from my dad today about a certain delivery that arrived at the Royal Genovian Hospital. You can't even begin to imagine what you've done for him and for the people of Genovia. Your generosity will never be forgotten. I would so like to thank you in person on their behalf (when you have time).

Sincerely,

Mia

I do think this has just the right polite yet friendly tone. It's the sort of thing a girl who is promise-ringed to someone else could send and not have misinterpreted. Or have intercepted by the paparazzi and get herself into trouble.

I added the stuff about meeting in person because...well, it just seems like you should thank someone in person for a gift that cost over a million dollars. Not because I want to smell him again. No matter what Lars thinks (I really wish he wouldn't eavesdrop on all my conversations. But I guess that's one of the hazards of guarding someone).

I'm going to hit SEND before I chicken out.

Wednesday, May 3, 4:05 p.m., limo on the way to Grandmere's condo at the Plaza Oh my G.o.d! Michael got the text and texted me back already! I'm freaking out. (Lars is laughing even harder at me but I don't care.) Mia, Would love to see you "in person." How about tonight?

Michael P.S. No need to thank me on behalf of your father or Genovia. I only sent it because I thought it might help out your dad in the elections, and that, in turn, would make you happy. So you see my motives were completely selfish.

Now what do I do????

Lars has no answer for me. Well, he does, but it's completely unreasonable. He's like, "Call him. Go out with him tonight."

But I can't go out with him tonight! Because I've got A BOYFRIEND! Plus, I've got J.P.'s play tonight. I promised I'd be there to support him.

And I want to be there for J.P. Of course I do. It's just that- What can Michael mean, his motives were entirely selfishly motivated? Does he mean what Lars says he thinks he means, that he only sent the CardioArm because he likes me?

And wants to get back together?

No. That's not possible. Lars has spent too much time in the desert sun, setting off explosives with Wahim. Why would Michael want to get back together with me, when I am so obviously a crazy person? I mean, when we were together last time, I went positively Britney on him. I can't imagine any boy would ever sign up for a second helping of that.

Even though, of course, like Dad said, I have grown up a lot since then....

And we did have a nice time at Caffe Dante. But that was just an interview.

Oh! But he did smell nice! I don't suppose he thought I smelled nice, too?

I've got to check with Tina...even though she's nuttier than I am, if you ask me.

But never mind about that. I'm forwarding his text to her...And, dang, we're at Grandmere's now, I've got to go endure trying on clothes for hours. Who has the patience for fas.h.i.+on when all THIS is going on?

Wednesday, May 3, 8:00 p.m., the Ethel

Lowenbaum Theater

It's really very hard to write in here since the lights are down and J.P.'s play is going on. I'm doing this, in fact, by the glow of my cell phone.

I know I shouldn't be writing in my journal at all-I should be paying attention to the play, since the senior project committee is here (and so are J.P.'s parents, as are all our friends who didn't stay home to study for finals), and I should be trying to look like I support J.P., and all.

But I just have to write more about Michael's e-mail.

Because, of course, I couldn't keep it to myself. I had to show everyone at Grandmere's.

Grandmere said it just proves that Michael harbors une grande pa.s.sion for me. She says a million-dollar piece of medical equipment as a gift isn't quite as romantic as a three-carat diamond and platinum promise ring.

"But," she went on, "the fact that Michael donated it without your having asked for it is rather extraordinary. I'm starting to wonder if I wasn't wrong about That Boy after all."

Honestly, I nearly fainted on the spot. I have NEVER heard Grandmere say she was wrong about ANYTHING!!!!!

Well, hardly ever.

Anyway, this was such a startling thing to hear coming from Grandmere's lips that I nearly tumbled off the stool Sebastiano had me standing on while he stuck pins into the gown I was modeling. He said, "Tsk, tsk, tsk," and asked me if I wanted to be stuck all over like a porcupine.

Only, of course, Sebastiano still hasn't grasped the basics of the English language, so he just called it a "porc."

"G-Grandmere," I stammered. "What are you saying? Sh-should I give Michael another chance? Should I give J.P. his ring back?"

I swear my heart was slamming so hard inside my chest, I felt like I could hardly breathe as I waited for her reply. Which is weird because it's not like I particularly VALUE advice from Grandmere, as she is, in fact, a certified lunatic.

"Well," Grandmere said, looking thoughtful. "It is a terribly large ring. On the other hand, it's a terribly expensive piece of medical equipment. But you can't wear a robotic surgical arm."

See what I mean?

"I know what you should do, Amelia," Grandmere said, brightening. "Sleep with both of them, and whichever young man performs better in the boudoir, that's the one you keep. That's what I did with Baryshnikov and G.o.dunov. Such lovely boys. And so flexible."

"Grandmere!" I was shocked. I mean, seriously: How evil is she? How could we even be of the same bloodline?

Honestly, I don't consider myself a prude. But I think you should at least be in love with someone before you do that with them (something I have tried unsuccessfully to impress upon Lana. Oh, and my grandmother).

Anyway, I told her not to be stupid, that I'm not sleeping with anybody. Mia Thermopolis's Big Fat Lie Number Nine.

But what am I going to do? I've gotten a confirmation e-mail back from Tina. (She's here tonight with Boris. But, of course, we can't talk about it. Not with J.P. around. Oh, and Boris.) She thinks Michael's note meant what Grandmere thinks it did (but who even counts what Grandmere thinks, as she's clearly unhinged): Michael really did send the CardioArm for me. ME!

Tina says I've got to write him back and truly make some kind of arrangement to see him in person. Because, as she just texted from her seat: You can't leave Michael hanging. He could just be flirting with you...but I doubt it. He went to a lot of trouble to send that CardioArm...not to mention Micromini Midori along with it.

And the only way to find out what's really going on with him is to see him in person. You'll know when you look him in the eye whether he's playing or for real.

This is serious, Mia: You could find yourself TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS!!!!

I know you're probably really upset about this, but is it wrong that I for one find it VERY VERY EXCITING????? Okay, I'm sorry, I'll stop bouncing up and down in my seat. Someone in the next row just shot me a very annoyed look, and Boris wants me to pay attention to the play now.

I'm glad someone's happy about it, but I personally am not. I honestly don't know how it happened. How could I, Mia Thermopolis, go from being the most boring person on the planet (except for the princess thing), who has basically never left her house for the past year and a half because she was always working on her senior project, a history on Genovian olive oil pressing, circa 12541650 (and, okay, it was really a historical romance novel, but so what?), to a girl who is being sought after by two highly desirable men?

Really, how????

And, according to my best friend, what I'm supposed to do about it is arrange to meet the one to whom I am not engaged-to-be-engaged....

But how can I arrange to meet Michael now, knowing my weakness for him-especially the smell of his neck-when he might possibly like me-enough to send my country a CardioArm (and someone to teach our surgeons how to use it)?

I can't do that to J.P. J.P. has his faults (I still can't believe he hasn't read my book), but he's never met his exes behind my back (not that he has any exes, besides Lilly). He's never lied to me.

And admittedly, I don't think that whole Judith Gershner thing is as big a deal now as I used to, considering it all happened before Michael and I ever went out. I never did flat out ask Michael if he'd ever been with anybody else before me, so, technically, it's not like he actually lied.