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"Monsieur Visconti, how could you offer such an insult to my dead husband's honor? Trade, indeed! Think of your mother when you say a dreadful thing like that," I said, in my best owlish-old-lady manner.
"The rest," he announced, "I will tell her in secret, since it is not my business to embarra.s.s venerable ladies. But from the lineaments of your face, Madame la Marquise, I will give you a warning: Beware the company you keep."
"Ah," sighed the onlookers, deeply impressed.
"And be careful of accepting food and drink from strangers." Well, that's pretty general, I thought. A triumph for Visconti. Now he won't be angry. Then he stood up and leaned across the little table and whispered in my ear:
"Little minx, I haven't the heart to give you away. I think I'm half in love with you already. And as a rule I prefer tall, golden-haired women, I'll have you know. But you-you're as bold a little girl as any cavalier who ever tried to seize a throne."
I could feel the blush spreading under my white powder and hear the company shout with laughter, thinking he had made an indecent proposition.
"This is a wicked world, a world of sinners nowadays," I cried, shaking my tall walking stick at Visconti.
"Why are old people always so ill-tempered?" he asked with a lazy smile. "Of what use is an alchemical remedy for the skin if there's none for bad humor?"
I told a number of fortunes that night and recommended to the mother of a girl who'd been gotten pregnant by her lover just before her engagement to the man the family had chosen that she go and consult with La Voisin. Just exactly what my patroness did with cases like that I didn't know, but I had begun to suspect of late that it might involve more than doling out talismans and powders made of dried pigeons' hearts. But just what went on with the tense, pale, masked women who avoided one another's eyes in her waiting room I could not imagine.
At the end of the evening, the Duc de Nevers had a purse of silver pressed on me in appreciation of my services. The servant who delivered it wanted some, Rabel wanted some, but there was still a tidy bit left, especially because I had tucked half of it away before he counted it. I wasn't surprised at all when I received a message a week later to attend Madame la Marechale de Clerambaut, the governess of the children of Monsieur, the King's younger brother, and an astrologer of some repute, at the Palais-Royal.
"I am tired of black," I said to myself as I looked in the tiny square of a mirror on my dressing table that evening. Tired of playing at being an old lady, tired of peering in the water gla.s.s until my eyes ached, tired of telling lies. I could be pretty, I thought, if I had a dress the color of springtime. The right dress-yes. Cut just so, to show an embroidered petticoat, but hide my shoes. These ladies of fas.h.i.+on, they weren't all so pretty, most of them. It was the clothes they had. And I looked almost straight, maybe even entirely straight in the dim light of the single candle that stood on the table beside the mirror. I wasn't that thin; I wasn't that small. Not really.
Now is the time I miss Marie-Angelique most, I thought. "You actually want a new dress, Sister?" she'd say. "Oh, do let's go look at the fas.h.i.+on drawings at Au Paradis on the Pont au Change. And they have the prettiest linens there, all made up. When I'm rich, I'll have a dressing gown from there, in that lovely painted Indian cotton, and some little velvet slippers just like I saw in the boutique across the way." Even without money, she lived for shopping. If I were with her, I'd feel the fun and excitement of new things and forget metaphysical worries. "Sister, you fret too much. A nice pair of earrings always makes a girl feel entirely new," she'd say if she were with me now. Maybe there was something to Marie-Angelique's philosophy of life, after all. I imagined her at home, playing the clavecin, admired by men. How lucky to be born beautiful, to have the luxury of carefree happiness.
The fatigue of an evening of readings made my bones feel all watery. I took a spoonful of my sleeping medicine and stared into the mirror again. Beware, said my mind. Remember the witches' warning. If you lose control of the images, they will possess you, and you will lose your mind. In the depths of the gla.s.s, figures seemed to be moving unbidden. But still I didn't look away. I wanted to drown myself in the shapes that had appeared. I could see Lamotte, sitting in his s.h.i.+rt on the side of a ma.s.sive, brocade draped bed. His s.h.i.+rt was open at the neck, and I could see the white skin across his collarbone, the pulse of blood at his neck. He leaned forward and took off the s.h.i.+rt. G.o.d, he was beautiful. The fine dusting of hair across his chest, its rise and fall as his breath moved in and out. I put my face closer to the mirror, fogging it with my own breath. There was movement in the bed, and I could make out a strange woman's white arm, a round shoulder, a tumble of pale hair. Why did I need to know this? Is this how the images brought destruction, by breaking one's heart with the knowledge of what one was?
I could feel the tears making tracks through the heavy powder on my face. Had I frightened him that day, being too clever? Had he ever meant anything more than condescending gallantry, the way he had charmed me? Poor plain sister, what else could it have been? You were never anything but a means to get to the beautiful, unreachable face he saw in the window. Suppose I saw him again and I looked like a queen? Suppose I did get a poudre d'amour from La Voisin and put it in his cup? Suppose I laughed and chattered about charming nothings and rolled my eyes, like other women-oh, suppose on, Genevieve, you fool. Andre Lamotte will never be yours, no matter what you do. I took another big spoonful of the cordial, and the image vanished.
"Madame." Brigitte stood at the door, waiting to help me undress. The rows of tiny b.u.t.tons, the pins in the bodice, the heavy hooped petticoat were impossible to negotiate alone. At last we were down to the steel corset, the front, flat filigree, hinged in the middle, the back, rods and laces to the neck.
"Brigitte, unlace it. I want it off."
"But, Madame, you have been tightening it every week."
"Off, I say, or I will die. I must be myself again, no matter what it costs." When she had it off, the thin s.h.i.+rt beneath showed the marks of rust where my sweat had eaten at the merciless steel.
"Oh, my G.o.d, help me!" I cried, as I collapsed onto the floor. The steady support of the steel had caused the muscles of my torso to lose all their strength. I could not stand or sit upright. I had the backbone of a worm. Brigitte, her eyes wide with alarm, called for her mother, and together the two women managed to drag me to bed. There I lay, staring at the ceiling in the dark, as the fever rushed through my body in fiery waves, and mad images of past, present, and future swarmed like hobgoblins in the air.
"I've seen snails with more backbone." I was having a strange dream. La Voisin, thousands of feet tall, was towering over my bedside in her dusty traveling cloak and wide, plumed gray hat. "No sooner do I return on the diligence from Lyon than I discover that all h.e.l.l has broken loose. La Filastre has held back money. Guibourg is raising his fee. Who does the man think he is? It is I who send him his business! And that ungrateful Le Sage is trying to steal my clients for himself. At least La Pasquier has kept her good sense, I said to myself, only to discover that you are rolled in a ball dying of fever from unrequited love. Surgeon, how many more bleedings to reduce the fever?"
"Another one ought to do it," I could hear the answer from somewhere far away.
"Good. Take it from the heel this time. I don't want her wrists marked." I could feel the bedclothes being lifted up, and hear other people moving in the room. "And now, Mademoiselle, the name of this man who robs me of my investment?"
The dream was very strange. I was not in my bed at Madame Bailly's. "Where am I?" I thought I might have said.
"Don't begin to annoy me with the remembrance of the trouble I have had getting you here without that police snoop of a widow knowing where you were going. The name, the name, Mademoiselle. I know it's Andre. Andre what? Speak up. Lamotte? Lamotte, the playwright? Oh, how foolis.h.!.+ You'll build no fortune with him! He's a n.o.body! Listen, you silly, sick rabbit, and take my advice. Brissac is ripe for the picking. He quarrels with Nevers; he has a t.i.tle; he will advance your interests. And he's hungry. When he sees the money you earn, he'll take up with you in a flash. He can give you as good a tumble as Lamotte, anytime. And he's an alchemist. He can supply us with...Ha! You've fallen for the most ambitious gigolo in Paris. Fall in love with Brissac, I say. We'll get something out of that!"
"Brissac's disgusting," I whispered.
"So you think you can be choosy? Listen closely, little Marquise, there is no room for squeamishness in this business. Once you have entered our world, there is no going back. If you are ever discovered, your closest male relative has a right to everything you own. You'll go straight to the prison-convent on his pet.i.tion for what you've done already. A girl from a respectable family living on her own? Making money as a fortune-teller? The authorities would be scandalized. As long as they think you're a widow, as long as you have our protection, they'll leave you alone. But don't ever think you can cut and run; once you're beyond our reach, you'll never see the sun again, I can a.s.sure you."
As the blood flowed into the surgeon's bowl, I could feel weakness, weakness and sanity filling me. A patch of blue sky shone through a tiny window. A slanted ceiling reached almost to the floor beside the bed. I was in the tiny attic bedroom under the eaves in La Voisin's house.
"And now, I say, you will get up tomorrow, you will lace up that corset again, and you will keep your appointment at the Palais-Royal. Remember this: if you make your fortune, you can buy Lamotte for a toy. If you fail, your uncle will p.i.s.s on your grave. You have no place to go but up."
"I hate it; I can't wear it anymore," I whispered to the towering dream-figure.
"Can't? There's no such word. But from now on, you may take it off at night. You need considerably more spine than you have at present. And you're looking straighter, even now, without it."
Straighter? The room seemed to fall away as my eyes grew heavier. I could see myself like a lady, all straight, in the garden of a chateau, gathering roses. I could hear a man calling my name. I could be beautiful. I could be rich. I could be beloved. Roses. Yes. I needed the rose-colored dress.
The light of hundreds of candles multiplied itself in the mirrors and shone again from the gilt paneling of the small reception room in the Palais-Royal. The ranking guests were seated in brocade-covered armchairs; lesser figures had to content themselves with heavy, fringed stools. The small fry stood, or, rather, oozed gently between the armchairs, listening deferentially and offering flattery as required. I could hear the light laughter of the marechale behind her fan, for, winter or summer, no court lady was without a fan, as she teased, "...but, my dear Countess, they say the Marquis de Seignelay is absolutely besotted with you!"
"It is not my fault who looks at me. The question is whether I look at him. And you must admit that the marquis has an unmistakable je ne sais quoi de bourgeois about him."
"That, of course, is the fault of his father, Colbert. It is such a great shame that the King raises his ministers from nowhere. But you can't deny that he is a perfectly darling-looking young man, and of course, exceptionally rich-"
But, of course, the almost invisible stain on his manners, a careless turn of speech, or a tiny flaw in his appearance or dress would deny him entrance to the most exclusive circles. That was the one good thing I had taken away with me from the rue des Marmousets. The look, the speech of good blood. It couldn't be bought; it couldn't be counterfeited. La Voisin could not do without me. The salons could not uncover me. I felt flooded with satisfaction. I was back at work again.
"Whatever you think of Colbert, you must admit that Louvois is far worse." One minister of state versus another.
"Ah, Louvois!" the lady exclaimed with a laugh. "He has the air of a valet de chambre."
"I hear," said a gentleman in green velvet and the especially high, red-heeled shoes made popular by Monsieur, "that he seeks desperately to repair his appearance, and takes hours dressing, asking advice from men of fas.h.i.+on as to where he should place his ribbons." The ladies all laughed at the image of Louvois before his mirror. Louvois the vengeful, whose word destroyed, and whose minion, La Reynie, carried out the arrests required by the secret lettres de cachet Louvois secured from the King. Were he here, with what ironic politeness would he be greeted! How low the bows, how wide the smiles! And how great the laughter when he had made his exit. How could the man not suspect?
But this evening belonged to the occultists, amateur and professional, that had gathered to astonish and amaze one another.
"Why," said an elderly gentleman I did not recognize, "I have even heard of a horoscope being drawn upon handwriting alone!"
"And who could ever have managed such a thing?" The Comtesse de Gramont's accent still betrayed her English origin. Tall and blond, she moved with the confidence of one who knew that half the men in the room were in love with her. Her husband, they said, was a rake with the nose of a Harlequin, and a bitterly jealous man.
"I do believe it was Primi Visconti," responded the Abbe de Hacqueville.
"Visconti, bah. An amateur," said the Neapolitan priest in his heavy Italian accent. "He has no grasp of the sciences of divination. I myself am the fountain and origin of this particular art, as I will demonstrate."
"Bravo, Pere Pregnani," called the elderly gentleman. "Demonstrate how your art outs.h.i.+nes Visconti's!" So, this was Pregnani, Visconti's rival, and a nasty-looking piece of work he was. The man who was making quite a name for himself predicting horse races for the n.o.bility. I watched his technique with some interest as he called for a handwriting sample and drew up the horoscope, attracting the attention of every soul in the room.
But it was the Marquise de Morville who gained most from the occasion, for the shrewd old lady enchanted the horoscopic ladies by allowing them to interpret her images with their various methods of divination. Their quarrel over the merits of chiromancy versus palmistry became so interesting that even the Comtesse de Gramont broke off her flirtation with Pere Pregnani to join in, and by the end of the evening the marquise had received from her the most coveted invitation of all. The comtesse would curry favor with an increasingly desperate Queen by bringing her yet another of the fortune-tellers Her Highness sought in ever greater numbers. The Marquise de Morville, the most fas.h.i.+onable new devineresse in Paris, would go to Versailles.