Christmas In Whitehorn Part 6

"Can you wrap up my breakfast?" Mark asked. "I'll pick it up on my way back. I'll pay my bill then, too."

"No problem. It's not as if I don't know where you live."

He grabbed his jacket and shrugged into it, then ushered Homer out of the Hip Hop. Darcy watched them go. Her chest tightened, but with more than nervousness and antic.i.p.ation. She could accept Mark being handsome, s.e.xy and very good in bed. What she didn't want was for him to be nice. If she thought he was a decent guy, and charming, she would have a whole lot more trouble keeping her emotions in check and her heart on a very short leash.

She reminded herself that the last thing she needed was to fall for a guy. She knew what happened when she did. There was no point in wis.h.i.+ng this time would be different.

Mark kept his finger on the channel b.u.t.ton of the remote. He was clicking through stations so quickly there was no way he could see what was on. But flipping through the offerings was better than pacing.Which is what he really wanted to do.

He glanced at his watch, then back at the television.Five-forty. When he'd returned to the Hip Hop to pick up his breakfast, Darcy had agreed to see him that night. He'd told her he would be over at six. As they lived in the same building, there was no way he could justify leaving early to beat traffic.

To think that the previous day he'd been dreading going there for Thanksgiving. He'd thought he would be bored and out of place. He thought she wasn't anything but a do-gooder with a plan to rule the world with tofu. He'd been wrong.

She'd been smart and funny, not to mention incredibly s.e.xy. He hadn't planned on making love with her, but he couldn't be sorry that it had happened. Not yesterday or this morning.

His body stirred at the memory of their time in her shower. She had the ability to turn him on in a nanosecond. He'd never experienced anything like it before.

He leaned back in his chair, releasing the remote so the television stayed on a sports channel. This brief s.e.x-only relations.h.i.+p with Darcy was exactly what he needed. With Sylvia he'd thought he'd found "the one." He'd wanted to settle down, marry her and have a couple of kids. She'd shown him that dreams like that were for idiots.

Without meaning to, he remembered Sylvia smiling at him the first time they'd met. He'd thought she'd been as taken with him as he'd been with her. With the distance and wisdom of hindsight, he realized that every movement, every touch, every word had been calculated. She'd had a goal when she'd "accidentally" locked herself out of her place and had used this phone to call the locksmith. He'd been the sucker to fall in with her plans.

He'd learned the lesson well. Love wasn't a part of his plan. But s.e.x. That was something else entirely. For the first time since the shooting he felt himself antic.i.p.ating something other than the absence of pain.

He was returning to life. That it was happening wasn't much of a surprise. It had been inevitable. The how was something else. Darcy was an unexpected pleasure. He would enjoy this while it lasted and then move on. Never again would he allow his heart to be engaged.

Darcy frantically hung discarded outfits back on hangers. She'd changed her clothes five times in the past thirty minutes and she was determined not to do it again. What did it matter what she had on? Mark wasn't coming over to see her dressed ... he was far more interested in having her un- dressed. This was all about s.e.x. She had on her best bra-and-panty set to prove it. She was having an adult relations.h.i.+p based purely on physical attraction. People did it all the time. It was very sophisticated.

It was also very not her.

Darcy sank onto the bed and covered her face with her hands. What was she doing? While she felt excited and quivery at the thought of Mark coming over in a few minutes, she also felt empty inside.Empty and cheap and bad about herself. The feeling was oddly familiar and it took her several seconds to figure out when she'd last experienced the sensation.

Before her parents had died, she thought sadly. Back when she'd been shallow and selfish, living only for the moment. Back when the kind of car a guy drove was far more important than something like honesty or compa.s.sion.When looks had mattered more than character. She dropped her hands to her sides.

She'd worked hard to change herself. While the initial plunge into the world of reality had come at the hand of circ.u.mstance, once she'd been forced to face her own lacking character, she had done her best to do better. Five years later, she could honestly say she was proud of who she was.

Was she proud after last night or this morning?

The lovemaking had been incredible. Darcy had forgotten what it was like to have a man touch her bare skin to feel his body next to hers, entering hers. She'd been starved and Mark had fed her. But now what? Did she really want to have an affair with a man she barely knew? Or did she want something more?

She wasn't crazy enough to think she was searching for true love. She had her doubts about being lucky enough to find someone who would adore her and be willing to deal with Dirk. She knew her brother was an amazing person, but not everyone could look past his developmental issues to see the gentle heart inside.

So she'd given up on the fairy tale, instead resigning herself to a life alone. The move toWhitehorn had cut her off from her hard- won support group. She needed to make friends, finding people she could both like and trust.

But would Mark be interested in being a friend or was he only in it for what he could get?

Mark knocked on Darcy's front door at ex-actly two minutes before six. He'd wanted to wait until a couple of minutes past, but he'd been too eager, too aroused. He'd already imagined her opening the door and ushering him inside. He'd thought of gathering her in his arms and kissing her until they were both breathless with pa.s.sion.

But reality didn't live up to fantasy. For one thing, Darcy wasn't smiling when she opened her door. For another, she wouldn't look at him.

Her whispered h.e.l.lo did little to alleviate the sudden ache in his gut.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she stepped into her living room.

"Nothing."She brushed her hands against her black slacks and motioned for him to take a seat on the sofa.

He hesitated. While he appreciated the polite gesture, he couldn't help remembering that twenty-four hours before they'd been making love on that same piece of furniture.

"Darcy?"

She crossed to the window and parted the blinds to look out. "I'm fine, Mark. It's just..." Her voice trailed off. She glanced at him, then away. "You're not going to like this."

The bad feeling got worse. "Why don't you say it and let me be the judge?"

She nodded, still without looking at him. Her short, blond hair was a ma.s.s of curls. Lamplight brought out the shades of gold in the strands. One small hand lingered on the blinds.

"I can't do the s.e.x thing," she said without warning. "I know it doesn't make sense to you. We've done it twice, so what's the big deal, right? I mean it's a new century and we're all contemporary single people. Ex-cept I'm not. I didn't mean to have old-fas.h.i.+oned values. I didn't even know that I had them. Suddenly they were just there." She glanced at him over her shoulder. "I'm sorry. You probably want to go now."

Mark tried not to think about the two condoms in his back pocket. He shoved his hands into his front pockets and stared at her back.

"What changed your mind?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I didn't like what I was thinking about myself. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the s.e.x ... I did, it was great. But there has to be more."

He turned away and swore under his breath. This was just his luck, he thought grimly. He wanted s.e.x and she wanted... He didn't know but he was sure he wouldn't like it. She was right he should leave. Except, somehow, leaving seemed like the wrong thing to do.

"Mark?"

"What?"

"You can go.Really. It's okay. You didn't ask me out or anything. We have no emotional connection or hint of commitment between us. My inviting you here for Thanksgiving was entirely my idea. You don't owe me anything."

"I know."

He did know. Yet he couldn't seem to get his feet heading for the door.

He reminded himself he wasn't looking for a relations.h.i.+p. He couldn't ever trust her; he wasn't interested in falling in love.

"What do you want?" he asked before he could stop himself.

She turned slowly, until she was facing him. Something that might have been hope flared to life in her eyes.

"I thought maybe we could be friends."

Her voice was small as she spoke, as if she knew she was asking for the moon and she didn't doubt he was going to laugh at her.

He reminded himself he wasn't looking for entanglements and that she was a woman with secrets. Not that he'd cared at five-twenty that morning.

"Friends?" he repeated.

She nodded. "Nothing romantic," she added hastily, making him perversely want to know why not."Just friends."

He didn't say anything. Darcy swallowed. "I know that sounds weird, but I've been really busy since I moved here and I don't really know that many people. You and I seem to get along, even outside the bedroom."

She sounded sincere. He even almost be-lieved her.Friends. It wasn't anything he'd considered. There were complications. He didn't want to get involved, and ironically a s.e.x-only relations.h.i.+p had seemed far less trouble. Friends implied more than he was willing to give.

He knew he should tell her he wasn't interested, but for some reason he couldn't speak the words. Maybe it was because he'd been on his own since he'd returned toWhitehorn . He'd been meaning to look up old buddies, but somehow he never found the time. Besides, what was he supposed to say to them?

"Why not romance?" he asked. "Not with me, but with someone?"

She gave a rueful smile. "I don't have really good luck with men."

Her statement made him want to aska half -dozen questions, but he didn't. If they were just going to be friends, why did her past matter?

"We can give it a try," he said at last.

"Really?"She smiled, her full mouth curving up, her eyes brightening with pleasure. "Great."

"I do have a question."

"What?"

"How do you plan to avoid temptation?"

Her smile faded slightly. "Yes, well, that is a concern, isn't it? I suppose I won't think about it."

"What if I start to seduce you?"

Her steady gaze met his. "I don't think I'd be able to stop you. I guess I'm going to have to risk it. Do you plan to seduce me?"

He shook his head and it was only half a lie. Strangely, it was enough for her to admit that he could easily tempt her into his bed.

"I'm depending on you to be a gentleman," she murmured.

He groaned. "That hardly seems fair."

"Imagine how I feel. I've just admitted you have all that power."

They faced each other still standing in the living room. Mark didn't know about her, but he felt d.a.m.ned awkward.

"Now what?" he asked.

"It's up to you. I have all the fixings for a great turkey stir-fry. We could have dinner and talk about our first friends.h.i.+p project."

"We're going to have projects?"

"Sure. Don't guys like to get together to do things, while women like to sit around and talk? I thought we could start with something that would make you feel more comfortable."

"Like what?"

"There's a decorating party at the children's wing of the hospital. I thought we'd go there."

d.a.m.n do-gooder, he grumbled to himself.Typical.

"No way, no how," he announced.

Darcy only smiled.

Chapter Six.

Mark still couldn't believe he was here, in the hospital, about to decorate a tree. It was humiliating.

"Don't you know I'm a tough cop?" he muttered in Darcy's ear. "I'm supposed to be out subduing criminals, not partic.i.p.ating in a decorating seminar."

Darcy didn't look the least bit impressed by his protests. "You agreed to this last night.It's fun, it's for a good cause, so quit complaining."

They were in the main waiting area of the children's wing. Several other people gathered around, listening to the director's instructions. Mark recognized Janie from the Hip Hop Cafe, along with one of the younger deputies.

"You'll break into groups of two or three," the woman was saying. "The trees are on various floors. We've distributed the decorations as well, and the children who are mobile have been told they're welcome to help."

Mark felt trapped by circ.u.mstances. He hadn't been thinking when he'd agreed to this. He wasn't the tree-decorating type. He'd been avoiding polite society since he'd arrived back inWhitehorn and now he felt out of place.

By contrast, Darcy practically quivered with antic.i.p.ation. "Isn't this great?" she asked as they made their way to the elevator to take them to the fourth floor. Their tree was close to the playroom.

As they stepped onto the floor, familiar smells a.s.saulted Mark. He'd spent too long in a hospital, not to mention rehab, after he'd been shot. He remembered bad meals, no sleep and plenty of pain. They weren't good memories. As they pa.s.sed open doors leading to patients' rooms, he saw small children hooked up to IVs and lying still in bed when they should have been home running and jumping and laughing.

All those years as aNew York Citydetective and a bunch of sick kids still got to him. d.a.m.n. He'd gone soft.

"Okay, so let's see what ornaments we have," Darcy said when they reached the bare Christmas tree in the corner by the entrance to the playroom. It was tall and the scent of pine helped overcome the smell of illness.

"We'll sort them by type and color,then come up with a plan."

He stared at her as she crouched next to the boxes of ornaments. "We need a plan?"

"Absolutely.We can't just hang things wherever we want."