Realm Of Light Part 9

Once again, exhaustion sapped his strength. He found himself leaning against the boulder for support, his spent muscles aching, his fear constricting in his chest.

And he saw the double row of guards in black armor lining the trail ahead of them all the way to the stone pillars. Caelan drew in a sharp breath, realizing that if Elandra had not stopped him he would have marched right up to the guards.

He met her gaze through the gloom. Nothing had to be said.

"What do we do?" she whispered, her voice as soft as the wind.

Without severance, severance, he felt too tired to cope. Exhaustion brought discouragement, yet he refused to surrender to either. he felt too tired to cope. Exhaustion brought discouragement, yet he refused to surrender to either.

"There is one way," he replied softly. "What we did before."

She frowned and pulled away from him in wordless refusal.

He tightened his grip on her hand. "I can walk alone past the guards, and they will not see me. But unless you are a part of me, you cannot leave this place."

She said nothing, but tears spilled down her cheeks, sparkling in the moonlight. The sadness in her face gave him his answer, and in anguish he bowed his head. Why could she not love him? Why could she not trust him? Why must she fear him so?

"Gault help me," she whispered, her fingers tightening on his. "I need what you offer as a fish needs water to live. Take me into the joining. I would be in your heart again."

It was as though the sunlight reached into this gloomy world, spreading radiance across the shadows. Caelan's heart leaped inside him, but there was no time for joy. In the distance he heard the mournful howl of a hunter.

Elandra stiffened next to him. "Hurry," she breathed, casting a look over her shoulder. "The h.e.l.l-hounds-"

"Don't think of them," Caelan whispered. He melted into se-vaisin, se-vaisin, flowing into Elandra and feeling the brief jolt of exhilaration as she flowed into him. They shared more completely this time, and he found it tempting to remain lost in the wonder of such a union, yet there was too much danger for him to forget himself. flowing into Elandra and feeling the brief jolt of exhilaration as she flowed into him. They shared more completely this time, and he found it tempting to remain lost in the wonder of such a union, yet there was too much danger for him to forget himself.

He severed severed back into the cold void, going only partway now for fear of losing her. Elandra's fear entwined through him, making concentration more difficult than before. back into the cold void, going only partway now for fear of losing her. Elandra's fear entwined through him, making concentration more difficult than before.

Thus steeled, Caelan stepped out from behind the boulder and walked forth up the trail until he came to the guards of darkness. He pa.s.sed them, close enough to reach out and touch them, and took care to keep his pace slow and steady.

It was tempting to run, but he dared take no chances. Caelan knew he was tiring, despite the protection of severance. severance. This time it was harder than ever to maintain his concentration, to maintain the detachment. He could feel the pain in his leg from his wound. He could feel the aches in his body, the need for rest and food and water. He could feel Elandra like a weight, bearing him down. Holding her in This time it was harder than ever to maintain his concentration, to maintain the detachment. He could feel the pain in his leg from his wound. He could feel the aches in his body, the need for rest and food and water. He could feel Elandra like a weight, bearing him down. Holding her in severance severance was a strain now, one he did not think he could endure for very long. was a strain now, one he did not think he could endure for very long.

But ahead stood the gateway, like a beacon. He could almost smell the freshness of air and light beyond it.

One of the warriors in black turned his head as though he sensed Caelan's presence. The visor of his helmet was down, but through the slits glowed red, inhuman eyes. Pale smoke curled forth from beneath the rim of his visor with every exhaled breath.

Caelan paused, frozen by that scrutiny. He could sense the guard questing suspiciously. For now Caelan remained unseen, neither of one world nor the other, but somewhere between. His gaze swept over the long row of silent grim fighters concealed in their black cloaks and dark steel, tattered smoke rising above their heads. If only one of them saw Caelan, it would be over.

Making a low, guttural sound, the guard finally turned his head back toward the figure that stood next to the gateway.

Caelan felt relief stealing over the edges of severance, severance, blurring it further. Quickly he plunged deeper, knowing he put Elandra at risk, yet not daring to take more chances. He hurried now past the guards, almost running past this army of h.e.l.l. blurring it further. Quickly he plunged deeper, knowing he put Elandra at risk, yet not daring to take more chances. He hurried now past the guards, almost running past this army of h.e.l.l.

His speed made more helmeted heads turn. They could not see him, but their unease was noticed by the Guardian. Robed and hooded in black, this figure stepped forward just as Caelan reached the top of the hill.

A voice, deep and monstrous, spoke a single word to him. It was not Beloth's voice, but the sound resonated loudly enough to make the ground shake beneath Caelan's feet. Hot wind lashed his face, blowing his cloak back from his shoulders. He glanced up, and saw ancient symbols burning in the air before they faded like dying embers and their ashes blew away.

Fear twisted through Caelan. His control of severance severance was unraveling, and the world seemed to tilt and s.h.i.+ft around him before he regained mastery of himself. He felt a stab of pain in his chest from the effort he was expending. He felt also Elandra's fear and exhaustion, as well as the swirling confusion in her mind. She was unprepared for any of this; her courage was starting to fail. was unraveling, and the world seemed to tilt and s.h.i.+ft around him before he regained mastery of himself. He felt a stab of pain in his chest from the effort he was expending. He felt also Elandra's fear and exhaustion, as well as the swirling confusion in her mind. She was unprepared for any of this; her courage was starting to fail.

Desperately Caelan focused on the gateway, using all his strength, all his force, all his essence to envision it opening.

The Guardian's voice thundered again, making the world shake. A blast of heat scorched Caelan, making him cry out. The yellowish green light between the pillars began to dim. As it did so, he glimpsed the world beyond. His world of sunlight and blue sky and verdant life.

Struggling, Caelan took yet another step forward. The pain in him grew sharp-a sawing, gouging pain similar to what he used to feel during lessons at Rieschelhold years before. It used to hurt to sever. sever. It hurt now to maintain it. This task was beyond his abilities, beyond his powers. It hurt now to maintain it. This task was beyond his abilities, beyond his powers.

Yet he had to accomplish it. Gathering all his reserves, he hurled everything he had, every bit of will, every ounce of desperation at the force that held him back.

He felt the invisible bond give way, and he shouted in triumph, taking two strides forward before he was stopped again.

Pain burst through his chest, and he sagged to his knees in defeat. Spent, he closed his eyes while his breath rasped in his lungs. His chest was on fire. His mind was on fire. He had given everything he had, more than he had. Now, he could do no more.

Something unseen but very powerful struck him, and the last of his severance severance crumbled. crumbled.

Once again, the world s.h.i.+fted and tilted around him. He opened his eyes with a gasp, only to see nothing but darkness. Then there was a flash of light, dazzling him with such brilliance he cringed and flung up his forearm to s.h.i.+eld his eyes.

He was vaguely aware of sevaisin sevaisin fading within him too, of Elandra slipping from him, of a tearing sense of separation. Then he saw her, white-faced and terrified, kneeling beside him. She was breathing hard as though she had been running. Her eyes stared past him, wide and mesmerized. Now and then a tremor ran through her body. fading within him too, of Elandra slipping from him, of a tearing sense of separation. Then he saw her, white-faced and terrified, kneeling beside him. She was breathing hard as though she had been running. Her eyes stared past him, wide and mesmerized. Now and then a tremor ran through her body.

He reached out to her, and started to speak her name in rea.s.surance. But instead he saw the Guardian looming over them. The Guardian reached up with both gloved hands and pushed back the hood.

Caelan stared at the revealed face. His breath lodged in his throat; his body turned rigid and unable to move.

Beside him, Elandra screamed.

Chapter Seven.

The face of the Guardian was that of Beva E'non. Northern pale, drawn thin beneath the prominent cheekbones, the mouth a thin, uncompromising line. Bleak gray eyes that bored into Caelan's soul.

He stared, unable to believe it. "Father?" he whispered.

Almost as he spoke, Elandra tugged at his hand as though she wanted to break free. Her gaze remained centered on the Guardian as though she were mesmerized.

"Bixia?" she said. "How come you to this place?"

The Guardian swung its eyes toward Elandra and spoke something, but Caelan could not hear the words it said.

He frowned, his puzzlement and sense of alarm intensifying. This could not be his father. Beva was dead, killed by Thyzarene raiders years before. His soul had been released into the world of spirits, was now part of the spruce forests, part of the glacier, part of the rain and the falling snow.

Yet no matter how hard Caelan stared at the Guardian, it continued to be his father's stern, unyielding face that he saw.

But what name had Elandra said? Whom did she see while she gazed up at the Guardian's visage? Why did she smile so tremulously, so apologetically, so regretfully? Why did tears s.h.i.+mmer in her eyes?

"Who is Bixia?" he asked, but Elandra did not seem to hear him.

She was still gazing at the Guardian, listening to it utter words that Caelan could not hear. Various expressions chased across her face, and he worried that she was falling under some spell. He must not lose her now.

Pulling her to her feet, Caelan pushed her behind him.

Glaring up at the face of his father, he saw Beva's gray eyes s.h.i.+ft and focus upon him.

A shudder pa.s.sed through Caelan. In an instant he was ten years old and standing on the wall surrounding their hold. Spring suns.h.i.+ne warmed his shoulders, and the air lay fragrant from the blossoming apple trees. He stood next to his father, who rested a hand casually on his shoulder as they watched a pair of birds building a nest in a larch tree beyond the wall. For once there was no argument between them, no scolding, no lectures ... only peace and mutual enjoyment. The nest completed, one bird flew away, but the other one-the female, judging by her drab colors- perched on the edge of her creation and sang.

Caelan and his father glanced at each other and smiled.

Thinking of that long-forgotten moment opened a boiling cauldron of emotions in Caelan. Tears stung his eyes, and he wanted to cry out to the man he had loved so very, very much, the man he had never been able to please, the man he had never been able to reach. What had gone wrong for them? Why had he failed so utterly to be what his father demanded he become?

He met his father's eyes now and opened his mouth. Now was his opportunity to say he was sorry. Now was his chance to set things right.

"Yes, Caelan?" Beva's voice spoke his name with warmth, urging him to say the words.

Caelan's chest hurt. His eyes were burning. Tears slipped down his cheeks, and he realized he was crying. Everything in him wanted to rush to his father, to find a way to bridge the chasm between them.

"Father-" He choked up and glanced away, trying to gain control over his voice. "Father, I-I want to-"

"Yes, my son?" Beva's voice prompted. How gentle it was, how kind, how loving. It drew Caelan as nothing else could.

He took a step toward his father, then stopped with a frown. That was not his father's way of speaking, never his father's tone.

This was not really Beva. And Caelan was not really back in Trau at E'nonhold. Struggling against the beauty surrounding him, the dark green forest, the arching sky, the familiar shapes of the buildings inside the hold, Caelan reminded himself that he was in the realm of shadow, and everything before him was a trick.

With effort, he severed severed the vision, letting it fade and the strange gloom return. His eyes were still wet, but now he ached for what had never been and never would be. It was past. Old hurts became grooves in the soul. They no longer made fresh wounds. the vision, letting it fade and the strange gloom return. His eyes were still wet, but now he ached for what had never been and never would be. It was past. Old hurts became grooves in the soul. They no longer made fresh wounds.

Tipping back his head, he faced the Guardian again. But this time he did not meet those stern eyes. This time he focused his gaze slightly to one side, and let the memories slide away.

"You are the Guardian of the gate that leads back to the world of light," he said, making his voice harsh and brisk. "We do not belong here. Let us pa.s.s."

"Caelan," said his father's voice, sounding bewildered and a little hurt, "don't you remember me, my son? I am your-"

"No!" Caelan said sharply. "You are not my father. He is dead. You are the Guardian. Let us pa.s.s through the gate."

The Guardian tilted its head. "Do you not think the dead can come here?"

"Perhaps they can," Caelan admitted, finding a lump in his throat. "If they deserve it. But you are not my father, no matter how much like him you look."

Beva's face frowned, and his eyes grew stony. "Then look at this!"

As the words were spoken, Beva's face melted as though it had become hot wax, his features sliding down the skull bones to fall, hissing, on the ground. For a second a bleached skull with terrible glowing eyes stared at Caelan, and now it was no longer Beva's calm, flat voice that issued from the gaping jaw of this apparition but instead a voice like thunder, raw and savage.

"Is this better?" it demanded.

Caelan's heart pounded so fast he felt dizzy. His wits felt like charred bits of paper, blown and scattered. Hanging onto his last shreds of courage, he forced himself to nod in answer. "It is more truthful."

"Truth?" the Guardian roared, making the ground shake under Caelan's feet. "Is this this truth?" truth?"

Again its visage changed, the skull suddenly on fire, flames bursting forth through eye holes and nostril slits, charring the bones until they were black and crumbling. The flames grew brighter, hotter, until instead of a head there was only a blazing ball of fire and light, too bright to look at.

Elandra cried out in fear, and Caelan turned away, s.h.i.+elding his eyes.

"Don't look at it!" he told her. "Whatever you do, don't look directly at it."

He couldn't keep from staggering back. He believed it was going to engulf them in flame and destroy them on the spot. He drew his sword, but suddenly the blade was on fire, blazing up like a torch. The hilt grew too hot to hold, and with a cry he was forced to drop it. Beneath his feet, the ground itself began to burn. Little tongues of flame popped forth from the soil, reaching hungrily for the hem of Elandra's gown.

But where they touched her cloak, they fell back as though extinguished, and burned no more.

A moment later, the air cooled to a bearable degree. The ground also cooled. The flames disappeared. Caelan's sword lay misshapen and partially melted on the ground. The light emanating from the Guardian's head dimmed, and once again only a bare skull with glowing eyes gazed at Caelan.

"Who is this woman?" it asked him.

Its voice no longer reverberated with deafening volume, but it sounded blurred and scratchy and deep. Danger lay real within its tone.

Caelan wiped the sweat from his face and straightened up. He felt breathless, as though he had run a long distance. His heart still went too fast. They had come very close to death.

"Who is this woman?" the Guardian demanded again. "She did not burn. She wears protection, spell-woven garments."

Caelan pulled himself together. "She is my heart," he answered.

"Say her name."

Caelan said nothing. Elandra shrank close against him; he could hear the quick rasp of her breathing and remembered how earlier she had begged him not to speak her name aloud. Now he sensed the danger closing around them. To speak a name as commanded here transmitted great power. He dared not obey.

"You know everything else!" Caelan said to the Guardian, putting a jeer into his voice. "You know my life, my memories, my secrets. You know who she is-"

"She is known. But she is protected. Say her name and release her into my power."

"If I resisted your master, I can resist you," Caelan said. "Let us leave."

"The gate is forbidden to all of the realm of shadow."

"We are not shadow!" Caelan said sharply. "We are light."

The Guardian pointed a bony digit at him. "Take great care, donare. donare. Your tongue can be burned from your mouth." Your tongue can be burned from your mouth."

"Let us leave."

"Speak the name of the woman."

It was not a choice. He refused to consider it. Caelan told himself he would find another way of escape.

Elandra tugged against him, and fresh fear filled him.

"Stay with me," he whispered, feeling his strength fading again. If she panicked and fled, he would lose her. "For the love of light, stay with me."

"Guardian," Elandra said.

"No!" Caelan cried, turning on her. "Don't."