Off Screen: Waiting In The Wings Part 5

"Well, the last time we visited Addy's dad, he said something. I didn't think about it much at the time."

"This should be rich," Tamara said.

"He's not that bad, Tam," Emma said. Tamara pursed her lips and shook her head. "I know how you feel," Emma continued. "I hate the way it hurts her. He does love Addy. It's obvious when you see them together."

"You're a better person than me."

"No, I'm not," Emma disagreed. "There've been times I wanted to call him and tell him to go to h.e.l.l," she admitted. Tamara's eyebrow shot up. "Well, there have been. I hate seeing her hurt, Tam. You know that. What Addy wants is Adam in her life. And, if I can help make that happen, I will."

"So? What did Daddy Dearest say?"

Emma chuckled. "I don't think he ever beat her with wire hangers."

"Uh-huh."

Emma took a deep breath and let her thoughts drift back to a few months earlier. She and Addison had made the trip to Maine to visit Addison's father for a week. The first few days had been tense. Emma likened it to walking on hot coals; you never actually found your footing. But, after a few days, things had begun to ease. Emma hadn't given it much thought until now. She realized that she had spent more time with Addison's father than Addison had. It was as if she were the broker in their relations.h.i.+p. Something about her conversation with Tamara had triggered memories of that trip.

"Emma? What did Adam say?"

"We were sitting in the kitchen after dinner one night. Addy had taken the sprout to give her a bath. He just started talking, recalling her when she was a kid. I guess it struck me because he seemed as though he disappeared for a minute. Like he was back in that time."

"What did he say?"

"He said that Addy had been lonely. There weren't a lot of kids nearby. Addy and her mom did everything together. And... Well, he said that Addy was always dreaming big, but when it came time to leave she told them she was going to stay close to home. I guess Addy's mom wasn't having that. She pushed Addy to go away to college and explore the world."

"Well, yeah; I knew that," Tamara said. "She told Addy that Addy needed to see the world she was always writing about."

"Yeah, but I wonder..."

"What?"

"Well, think about it, Tam. I'm no psychologist, but imagine that you did go, kind of nervously; thinking it would be okay because you could always go home."

"s.h.i.+t."

"Yeah, s.h.i.+t. Home never felt like home to her after her mom died. Maybe in some way she thinks it's because she left. I know how hard things were for her, still are at times," Emma said. "Addy likes to pretend she has it all in hand."

"That's an understatement."

"I just think that all the changes... Starting a family, her dad being back to some degree, being home with us so much... Well, now she is looking at setting off on her own as signaling some impending doom or something."

"Okay, but she's not moving," Tamara pointed out. "I mean, what? She might have to go to a studio or even a location. So what? It's not like when she left home."

"Maybe not to you or me," Emma said. "To Addy, it is. And, the last time she did that..."

"She lost her mom," Tamara finished the thought. "Maybe you should be a shrink."

Emma laughed. "No, I don't think so."

"I don't know; you're pretty good at this figuring Addy stuff out. Come to think of it; you're pretty good at figuring most of us out."

Emma smiled. "I think you give me a little too much credit, Tam. Most of my life I spent watching other people. You know what I mean by that? I guess for me studying people is part of what makes acting interesting-imagining what it is like to walk in their shoes for a while-live in their skin. When it comes to Addy, sometimes I'm not sure what she is thinking."

"You two are like the perfect couple," Tamara commented.

"Hardly," Emma replied.

"Yeah, you are."

"There's no such thing," Emma said. "There's not," she chuckled. "We love each other. We don't always communicate as well as we should. Sometimes, I think, when you love someone so much your emotions can cloud your view."

"Addy will be okay," Tamara said.

"I don't want her to be okay, Tam. I want her to be happy. And, I don't want her walking through our life thinking that every time we have different paths, it heralds the end somehow."

"I'm not sure how I can help with that."

"Well, you and Christie spend long periods apart. It seems like you've learned how to make that work."

Tamara nodded. "Most of the time," she agreed. "Which is weird."

Emma laughed. "Weird?"

"Well, yeah. It is weird. Aw, h.e.l.l, Em... Addy has always been the one who wanted to find true love," she said. "I mean, seriously? She's the drippiest person I know sometimes."

Emma's eyebrow shot up. "Drippiest?"

"Yeah, sappy; you know? Like she's always believed in fairytales or something. Don't ever tell her I said this, but I sort of envy that about her."

"Her drippiness?"

"Yeah, in a way."

Emma shook her head with amus.e.m.e.nt. "You really do have a way with words, Tam."

"You know what I mean!"

"Yeah, I do."

"Addy believes in this magical world. She always has. h.e.l.l, she lives in it if I think about it."

"Oh, don't you start. You know perfectly well that there is nothing magical about Hollywood," Emma said.

"Not that," Tamara said. "But, she kind of does live in a fairytale. I think most people would see it that way."

"Most people aren't here to see the dirty diapers, the barfing in the toilet, the laundry piled up," Emma replied.

"True. But, that is like a fairytale for Addy."

Emma laughed. "Trust me, Tam; I don't think Addison found my morning sickness all that magical."

"Yeah, she probably did."

Emma laughed harder and then sighed. "I wish she would give herself a break."

"That's not Addy."

"I know."

"What are you going to do?" Tamara asked.

"I'm not sure there is much I can do. It's something she can only learn by letting go. She has to strike out on her own a bit to realize we will be all right no matter what."

"Tam Tam!" Vicki grabbed onto Tamara's knee and pulled herself up.

"Yeah, Sprout?"

"We gets bishy!"

"You're getting a fish?" Tamara tried to understand.

"Yep!"

"Well, that's an easy pet," Tamara said as she pulled Vicki into her lap.

"She means the baby," Emma explained. Tamara was confused. "Addy wants to get a dog."

Tamara shook her head. "Huh? You're having a baby, and you're getting a fish because Addy wants a dog?"

Emma laughed. "No."

"Huh?" Tamara repeated.

Vicki bounced on Tamara's lap happily. "Momma wikes doggies."

"Help me?" Tamara implored Emma.

"Vicki calls the baby a fishy," she explained. "My fault," she continued. "And, no we aren't getting any fish in a bowl. I hate it when they become floaters."

Tamara nodded. "Being preggers effects your brain."

"Possibly," Emma agreed.

"Mommy?" Vicki looked at Emma. Emma smiled. "Bis.h.i.+es like doggies."

Emma rolled her eyes. "I can't imagine who told you that."

"So? Let me get this all straight," Tamara said. "Which is a stretch for me on a good day," she joked. Emma smiled. "You and Addison are having another baby, Sprout thinks it's a fish, Addy's freaking out about working without you, and somewhere in this story you are getting a dog?"

"Yes, except for the dog," Emma replied.

"Maybe you should," Tamara said.

"Should what?"

"Get a dog."

"Oh, no, not you too!"

Tamara shrugged. "Hey, you could make her take it to work with her," Tamara suggested. "It is L.A. People take their dogs more places than they do their kids," she said. Emma's eyes twinkled.

"Mommy, we gets doggie!"

Emma threw her hands over her face. "Why is no one satisfied with a fis.h.i.+e?"

Tamara looked at Vicki and shrugged again. "At this rate, your mommies will have to change their last name to Dolittle," she tickled Vicki. Vicki had no idea what that meant, but she erupted in delighted laughter.

"Funny, Tam," Emma deadpanned.

"Yeah, I know. I really am. Listen, don't worry so much about Addy."

Emma sighed. "I can't help it."

"Yeah, I know. She'll be okay, though. Sometimes she just needs a little nudge. Maybe I should have Christie take her to dinner or something."

"Christie?" Emma asked.

"Well, yeah. She'll know how to get Addy squared away. I mean, h.e.l.l... She's marrying me. That should tell you how smart she is."

"You really are one of a kind," Emma said.

"True," Tamara agreed. Emma smiled. "I love you guys," Tamara said seriously, surprising Emma with the emotion in her voice. "Well, I do," Tamara said.

"We love you too," Emma replied.

Vicki wiggled, and Tamara took the opportunity to escape the emotional exchange by chasing the toddler. Emma watched Tamara run after Vicki through the yard. Tamara struggled with emotional conversations at times. She used humor as a defense. That was something Emma had learned early on. While Tamara would have loved to hide it, it had always been obvious to Emma what Addy meant to her.

Tamara was not just Addison's best friend; Tamara was family. She'd claimed a special place in Emma's life as well, and Emma loved her more than she thought Tamara understood. In some ways, they had become closer than Tamara and Addison. Addison confided everything in Tamara. Tamara confided everything in Emma. Emma had become a big sister to Tamara. Tamara often didn't stop to realize that she had also become Emma's confidante. Emma was grateful to have Tamara to talk to, but she never expected Tamara to have the answers she was searching for. She trusted Tamara to listen and understand. And, Emma felt secure that there would never be any judgment from her friend. Having Tamara close was a G.o.dsend for Emma. Tamara and her fiancee, Christie had moved back to Los Angeles from Vancouver a few months earlier. Emma was grateful to have them both closer. Emma's family was in Kansas. It was only a flight away, but a flight away sometimes seemed more like another universe. It was comforting to have someone to call last minute for a visit and a conversation. And, Emma was glad that her children would get to spend more time with her best friends. She was sure Addison felt the same way. Tamara was a goofball at times, but Emma was confident she would be a s.h.i.+ning light in Vicki's life, and whoever else came along.

Tamara chased Vicki back toward the patio table. Emma startled when Vicki crashed into her legs.

"You okay?" Tamara asked. "You look like you disappeared there for a minute."

"I'm good," Emma promised. She lifted Vicki into her lap. "Thinking about my mom, I guess."

"She must be stoked!"

"She doesn't know yet," Emma said.