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Pus.h.i.+ng aside the jacket, she tried to sit up straight, but a bolt of pain shot across her right shoulder blade. She tried again slowly, at an angle, bracing her weight with her left arm.
"I dreamed about chicken soup, and I still smell it." Leith vigorously rubbed her nose. "Chicken soup would be wonderful, but I haven't seen anything remotely resembling a chicken on this planet."
"No chickensss." J'Qhir removed the cooking pot from the fire and poured some of its contents into a cup. "But there is sssoup."
"Where did you get soup?" She wrapped her hands around the warm cup and breathed in the heady fragrance of cooked food. Flecks of green and chunks of pale yellow floated in a creamy liquid. She put the cup to her lips, then stopped. "There's no pahahel in here, is there?"
"P'ha'al. No, Leith. No p'ha'al." He filled the other cup. "I boiled sssome of the nutmeatsss until they were sssoft enough to ma.s.ssh. I usssed your a.n.a.lyzing device to ssscan every green plant I could find. There aren't many left. Everything isss dying."
Leith held her breath and took a sip. She recognized the flavor of the cone nuts, but the rest was unfamiliar. She chewed a piece of boiled root and pretended it was potato. The soup was bland, but it was hot and nouris.h.i.+ng.
"I-I have to go outside a few minutes."
J'Qhir nodded his understanding. "It isss night, and it isss raining."
He explained how tunnels in the back of the cave led to other caves. The tunnel to the far left led to a smaller cave he'd prepared.
"Can you rissse?" He moved to help her, but she waved him away.
"Yes, I'm fine." If she moved slowly and carefully, she felt only a little discomfort in the muscles of her right shoulder. Using the laserlight on array, she found the small tunnel entrance where J'Qhir indicated it would be. The tunnel was only a few meters in length and opened into a cave much smaller than the one they occupied.
Leith answered the call of nature and hurried back.
In their living quarters, she shone the laserlight around. The cave was like an upside down bowl, the convex walls curving to meet the floor. The floor s.p.a.ce was roughly circular, approximately fifteen meters in diameter and the ceiling about the same at its highest point.
Here the floor was hard-packed dirt, unlike the loose crumbly soil in the latrine cave. A semi-circle of rocks and boulders, off-center and to the left, served as a reflector of heat and light for the fire J'Qhir had built in front of them. J'Qhir had nestled the bed where she had awakened up against some of the boulders. He had doubled the solar film and stuffed it with gra.s.s and leaves, she supposed. Another pallet of gra.s.s and vine lay on the far side.
Separate beds. Propriety, of course, but there was no one else for them to be proper for. They had one blanket. It seemed more practical to share it to conserve body heat. Perhaps J'Qhir thought she would be more comfortable with this arrangement. Or maybe he was.
Leith wished she could remember the past twelve hours more clearly. If she had asked him to sleep with her and he obliged, what was the point of separate beds now? She walked around the boulders, flas.h.i.+ng the light in the shadowy areas to keep J'Qhir from wondering why she stood so long in one place. She didn't want to have to explain her thoughts.
A couple of armloads of damp wood lay scattered out to dry in an area off to the left. At the front of the cave, firelight flickered through a doorway. She discovered that this doorway did not lead directly outside. A short tunnel veered off to the left, and another doorway led outside. J'Qhir had built another fire just inside this entrance. From here she could hear the occasional drip of rain.
When she returned, she eased down beside J'Qhir and leaned back against a rock, careful to put most of her weight on her left shoulder blade. She picked up her soup and sipped it. "I think it's stopped raining. Why did you build the other fire?"
"Did you notice the floor of thisss cave? The dirt here isss compact, a.s.ss if it ha.s.ss been well usssed. I believe sssome animal ha.s.ss made itsss den here in previousss sssea.s.ssonsss. The fire isss to warn it off if it comesss back."
"The animal that roars in the night?"
"Perhapsss," J'Qhir murmured, and it was then she noticed how tired he was. She was surprised to find that she could see the changes in his face. His mouth was drawn, and his eyes were bleary. He blinked sleepily.
"You must be exhausted. How is your knee?"
"It painsss me when I move."
"Well, when you finish your soup, you will move one more time to lie down on that pallet. It's very comfortable."
"No, Leith, it isss for you," he protested.
"Do as I say, J'Qhir. It's my turn to take care of you."
"Are you sssure you are well enough? La.s.sst night and thisss morning, I thought you were coherent, but you remember little."
"I'm sure. Finish your soup while I look at your knee."
Leith pulled his trouser leg out of the boot, taking her time pus.h.i.+ng it upward. At one point, her palm lay fully against the side of his calf and the muscles spasmed.
"I'm sorry. I've hurt you again."
"No, Leith..."
Perhaps it was a sensitive area. This time it was difficult to raise the material over the swelling. She unwound the bandage to reveal the misshapen knee.
"You're not moving for the next few days," Leith ordered as she rifled the medkit for aspirin and antibiotics.
"There isss much that needsss to be done..."
"You won't be any good if you don't heal. It will only get worse."
She gave him the pills and water and hoped they wouldn't kill him. Maybe he was humanoid enough for the medication to help. She swallowed a couple of the antibiotics for her sting.
"I ssshould change your bandage."
Leith found another skinseal in the medkit and handed it to him. Then she turned her back to him and swept her hair out of the way. His talons pressed under the edges of the seal. The tips of his fingers lingered on her skin and a tiny ripple of awareness coursed through her.
She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations, wis.h.i.+ng he would...or she had the courage to lean back into him, and find herself wrapped in his arms. It had been a long, long time since she had been held, had wanted to be held.
"Are-Are you having trouble with it?" she asked, her voice sounding husky and unnatural.
"No, Leith..." he murmured and peeled away the seal.
He dusted antiseptic, and then his fingers tenderly applied the fresh bandage. She had felt no pain and little discomfort. How could a large, bulky being accomplish such delicate procedures so gracefully?
"May I?" he asked politely and touched her hair.
She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. His fingers enclosed her hair and spread it over her back. He seemed to take extra care in putting it perfectly in place.
"Beg forgivenesss, but I had to rend your sss.h.i.+rt to reach the wound."
"It's all right," she said and rummaged in the medkit. "There's a sewing kit in the jacket. I'm no seamstress, but I think I can mend a tear. Could you put some tape on it to hold it until I can get around to sewing it."
She heard the rip as he tore off a piece of medical tape. Once more his fingers brushed her skin as he grappled with the thin cotton material. At length, he held the torn edges together and pressed the tape over them.
Leith quickly moved away from him. She lifted her cup and found it shaking in her hands. She had to stop! He was bound to touch her occasionally, and she couldn't react like this every time he put a hand on her.
She drank her soup. When she turned back to him, he had finished rolling down his trouser leg and was removing his boots. She settled back against the boulder and watched as he drained the last of his soup as well.
"To bed," she said. He stared at her and blinked once. "I'l wash the dishes and tend the fire. You need to rest."
He s.h.i.+fted sideways until he was on the solar film bed. Leith rolled her jacket and tucked it beneath his head as he stretched out.
"No, you will need your coat for warmth."
"I'm fine. The fire is warm enough. Remember, I'm not as cold-natured as you."
He nodded, too tired to argue. He pulled his jacket closer, then reached out and laid his hand on her arm when she started to move away.
"I will build a lair for usss," he said sleepily, yet sincerely.
"Not tonight, you won't," she said with a smile as his eyes closed and his hand slid away.
Leith gathered the dishes and utensils and took them outside. The cold, damp air made her s.h.i.+ver and break out in goose b.u.mps. It had stopped raining as she'd thought, and the dripping she'd heard earlier was water falling from the leaves of the nearby trees. By the glare of the laserlight she saw the stream was only a dozen meters away.
Leith flashed the light into the trees and beyond the rocks to scare away any unwanted night visitors. She hurried to the stream and scrubbed the dishes clean with white sand from the bank. Her fingers grew numb from the icy water. Just as she finished, a terrible cras.h.i.+ng sounded amid the trees. Then that awful heart-stopping roar mingled with it. The sounds seemed to come from every direction at once. Leith grabbed up the dishes and ran back into the cave.
She careened to a halt inside their living area. J'Qhir slept soundly and had not heard the animal's scream of rage or her own wild rampage through the tunnel. Her heart pounding, she set the dishes near the fire to dry.
Leith gathered an armload of dry wood, some that J'Qhir had collected before it started to rain, and laid several pieces on the fire. She watched it a few moments to make sure it caught, part of her listening for the beast to crash through the doorway and reclaim its den.
Should she wake him? He had done so much in the past few days and needed to rest. She ought to be able to manage keeping an animal at bay the rest of the night. She would tell him in the morning, and then they could figure out what more to do.
As quietly as possible, she carried wood to the inner door and looked down the tunnel. It seemed so narrow and confining at only a meter wide and about three meters in height. The flames flickered as air currents s.h.i.+fted, but there was no other movement. Taking a deep breath, she walked down the tunnel.
She sat facing the opening, no larger than a regular doorway, although she was sure J'Qhir had to bend slightly to enter. She fed the fire until it blazed bright and hot enough to keep her warm even though she wore only the thin cotton s.h.i.+rt. She trembled, but not from the cold and not really from fright. Nocturnal animals feared bright lights and fire. Those on Earth did anyway. She had to a.s.sume animals reacted in the same way on Paradise. And she had the laserlight in her hand, set on high, just in case.
No, she still trembled from J'Qhir's touch. Wouldn't any male's touch have aroused her? Steve's hadn't. She had always been repulsed by his unwanted fondling and never could pinpoint why. He was handsome enough and, aside from his attempts at suggestive humor, he was pleasant enough. Her parents had trusted him implicitly with major responsibilities in the company. Leith knew now that her instincts toward him had been correct, but she didn't know how she had known.
Which brought her back to another problem... Every instinct told her that J'Qhir was as honorable and trustworthy as he appeared, but the facts told a different story. The facts were that he had somehow manipulated her parents into illegal trading and his warring people were bent on the devastation and destruction of their system's other world, Crux.
If her instincts had been at odds over the facts concerning Steve Hanc.o.c.k and were accurate, could the same be true of J'Qhir? Should she continue to believe in her feelings toward him until she could investigate further? Then Leith closed her eyes and laughed bitterly. How could she investigate anything? She was stuck here on Paradise for the rest of her life with no hope of rescue!
She didn't mean to go to sleep, but she kept her eyes closed as her thoughts tumbled and whirled. She tried to relax and clear her mind of everything, and she succeeded all too well. She had no idea how long she slept, but her neck was stiff when a noise awakened her. Her eyes flew open, and all she saw was a huge ursine form filling the doorway. Her mouth opened, but no sound could escape her tightening throat. She pushed back, trying to scramble away from the beast, but the solid rock wall behind her wouldn't give.
Bearlike, it reared on its hind legs and raised its forelegs over her, then its peculiar scream pierced her eardrums painfully. With one swipe of its powerful foreleg, it knocked the fire out through the doorway.
Light! She needed light or the beast would kill her here in the dark. She didn't want to die, not like this, and leave J'Qhir alone. The laserlight! Her hand still clutched the cylinder.
As blinded by the sudden darkness as she, the beast hadn't moved. She held her breath and tried to inch sideways down the tunnel. It heard her movements and grunted as it slashed a clawed paw toward her. She ducked to the side and felt the wind of the paw as it pa.s.sed within centimeters.
There was no point in stealth since the beast could hear her every movement. Its eyes would recover faster than hers and would find her any second. Before she could even think through what she needed to do, she plunged down the tunnel, scrabbling on her back. The beast took a few precious seconds to consider what she was doing, and she gained a meter or so away from it. She brought up the laserlight, hit the switch, and cut a swath where she thought the beast's chest might be just as it turned and rushed her.
She must have missed. She crawled backward as fast as she could and cried out as she lost her grip on the laserlight. The beast moved forward, more slowly now. Something b.u.mped the ground near her and rolled into the wall. The beast moved even closer, but much slower, and fell toward her.
With the last of her failing strength, she heaved herself backward one more time as the body of the beast crashed into the floor. Gritty dust filled her lungs as a thick spray of warm liquid covered her.
"Leith!" J'Qhir appeared in the inner door, using a burning piece of wood for a torch.
The light was enough for Leith to see the headless body of the beast at her feet. A few centimeters closer and it might have landed on her feet and broken her ankles. Then J'Qhir was by her side, staring in wonder at the carca.s.s.
"Leith, are you all right?"
She couldn't speak, only nod. She swallowed, but her mouth was filled with grit and a sickening metallic taste. She worked up the saliva in her mouth and spat several times, getting rid of as much as she could.
J'Qhir helped her to her feet, but she was shaking so hard she couldn't stand on her own.
"I-I ki-killed it," she finally stammered. Bending over J'Qhir's arm, she vomited up every swallow of soup she'd had for supper.
Leith sat in the tunnel with the lifeless remains of the beast until she no longer trembled in shock. J' Qhir sat with her and listened as she related what happened.
"You dealt with the sssituation in a courageousss manner, Leith."
"Courageous?" J'Qhir had brought her the canteen. She used all the water to rinse out most of the grit and blood and half-digested soup, but her mouth still felt dry and tasted metallic. "I was scared stiff. I 'm surprised I reacted at all. I just knew I couldn't die and leave you here all alone."
"Courage," J'Qhir explained patiently, "ha.s.ss nothing to do with lack of fear. Only one who isss unwissse would not feel fear. Courage isss doing what we mussst even when every inssstinct tellsss usss we have no hope of sssuccesss."
"Instinct..." Leith repeated.
"You reacted inssstinctively. You have good inssstinctsss, Leith. On Zi, you would be consssidered a great sssoldier...if you were male."
Leith ignored the insult. The Zi culture was different, and J'Qhir looked at things in a different way. She would just have to accept him the way he was.
Twice now, her instincts had been proven correct. She looked at J'Qhir as he stared at the head of the beast. Later, she would talk to him about her parents, about Crux. She would find the truth in him because here, as he had said a few days ago, he had no reason to ever speak falsely to her. She had a feeling she was going to hear a very different version of the reason for the Zi-Crux wars. And she hoped she would hear a reasonable explanation for the actions of her parents. Until then, she would go with her instincts and trust in J'Qhir.
After the shaking stopped, Leith asked J'Qhir to bring her jacket to her. She carried it out with her to the stream. She became chilled again instantly, and the water was icy cold, but there was no way she was going to let the splattered blood of the beast remain on her. She held her breath, dunked her head in the water, and nearly screamed from the cold. She scrubbed hair, face, neck and arms as quickly as she could, then squeezed out water from her hair. At this moment, not having hair like J'Qhir would have been preferable.
She removed her s.h.i.+rt and bra, donned her jacket, and rinsed her underclothing with numb fingers. She noticed that the fabric, treated with a stain-resistant compound, really did resist stains, even blood, as advertised.
Leith refused to remove her trousers. They too were stain-resistant and she grabbed up handfuls of gra.s.s, dipped them in the water, and washed down her trousers and boots. Clean enough for now.
When she turned back toward the cave, she saw movement. For a moment, her heart raced. What if the beast had a mate who had come searching for it? Then she flashed the laserlight. It was J'Qhir dragging the carca.s.s closer to the cave entrance. He motioned for her to come to him.
"We have food and another blanket," he announced as he released the body and tossed the head to the side. "I usssed your a.n.a.lyzing device. The meat isss good."
"Can't this wait until morning," Leith protested. "You have to rest."
J'Qhir shook his head. "Leith, the sssmell of blood will draw other animalsss and the meat might go bad if we wait. I ssslept a while and feel much better. Build the fire again ssso that I can sssee and have warmth."
"But-"
"Do you know how to ssskin an animal? Do you know how to carve the meat?"
"Well, no, but-"
"Then do a.s.ss I sssay."
Leith did as he said. By the time her hair and clothing dried and, through trial and error, she erected a spit over the fire in their living quarters, J'Qhir had skinned the beast and cut the first slab of meat. She put the roast on, and soon the delicious aroma of cooking meat filled the cave.
Using deft, quick strokes, J'Qhir sliced the rest of it thin, and Leith used the laserlight to quick-jerk the meat. Soon a pile of jerky nearly covered the flat stone Leith had dragged from outside to work on.