A Knight Of Honour Part 17

'But you cannot leave without seeing that we have enough provisions for the winter,' Stefan replied. 'We shall hunt again soon and your women will be needed to help salt the excess. My people do not have your skills. You would not have us starve this winter?'

'You will have more than enough to keep from starving.'

'But we must think of the villagers. Elona. You know that pigs and also a cow were lost. They will need several barrels of good salt pork to keep them from going hungry.'

'You have a silver tongue, sir,' she said, giving him a darkling glance.

'You surprise me with your compliment, Elona. I believed you thought me an ignorant oaf?'

'You are too clever for your own good, sir!'

'Indeed, I am a fool,' Stefan said and the smile had left his eyes. 'If I were not, I should have recognised what a precious treasure was mine and treated it with care.'

Elona saw the burning heat in his eyes and averted her head as her heart skipped a beat. How could she remain angry with him when he did everything to please her? He was courteous and gentle, his smile teasing her out of her moods, try as she might to retreat behind a mask of cool indifference.

It was useless to pretend to herself that she hated him. She had asked three times that she be allowed to return to France, but each time he found a new excuse. He did not intend that she should leave, and, if she looked into her heart, she did not want to go. Sans...o...b.. Manor had become her home, its people her people. She enjoyed being mistress here and took pleasure in the improvements she and her women had made.

But how could she stay when he did not love her?

Oh, he had apologised for hurting her, and he had done all that he could to make up for his unkindness that night, but he did not love her. He had been forced to marry her against his will and nothing could change that.

'Father Fernando tells me that you make good progress with your studies, Elona.'

'I believe he is pleased with me,' she replied. 'I shall miss him when he leaves us next month.'

'He wishes to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. We cannot forbid him, Elona, for it is every man's right if he so wishes. I have told him his place will always be here if he wishes to return, and he has arranged for his replacement- a kindly man who will not try us too much if we do not always follow a strict doctrine.'

Elona nodded her agreement. It might be years before the priest came back to them, if he ever did. So much could happen on a long and dangerous journey.

'Your brother is to leave with Duke Richard when they set out on the crusade, I believe?'

'You had a letter from my stepmother this morning, I think?' Stefan's eyes were shadowed for a moment. 'I trust that she and my father are well?'

Was he still angry because of what had happened? She had believed that he had begun to forgive her for her lies, to accept what could not be changed-but that was surely anger deep in his eyes? She sensed a change in his mood.

'My lord?' She laid her hand on his arm and he shook his head, a wintry smile on his lips.

'Nay, Elona. I am not angry, merely thoughtful. My mind dwells in the past tonight for some reason.'

She accepted this and remained silent, then, seeing that he seemed to have withdrawn into himself, rose to her feet.

'You will excuse me, my lord? I am tired and would retire.'

Stefan's brooding gaze followed her as she left the table. She knew that he was watching her, but not what he was thinking or what had brought that expression to his eyes.

As she moved towards the stair that would take her to her own apartments, a man got up from his seat and slipped from the hall to follow her.

'Lady Elona, stay a moment, if you will. I would speak with you.'

She turned her head, frowning slightly as she saw that Will de Grenville had called to her. 'Oh, Will,' she said, feeling slightly uneasy. 'What is it you would say to me?'

'Only that I leave for France in the morning. Sir Stefan has given me a letter to the Duke and I have hopes that he will take me with him on his crusade. Then I may earn my knighthood.'

'I see...' Elona hesitated. 'I thought you wished to take service here? Would my husband not have you?' Was Stefan jealous of him even now?

'He offered me service if I wished for it, but asked what I truly wanted and then advised me to go to the Duke. I am more likely to win glory and wealth in fighting than in the peaceful existence your husband plans here.'

'And you leave in the morning-do you go alone?'

'No. I believe there are two youths from the village who have asked permission to go on the crusade and your lord has generously given leave. We shall travel together.'

She could go with them if she wished, Elona thought. One of her women could ride with her, the others follow with her baggage. If she took the chance to escape, surely Stefan would let her go?

'I wish you G.o.dspeed, Will,' she said. 'I hope that you gain all you desire of life.'

'I can never do that,' he told her with a sad, sweet smile. 'You have given your heart elsewhere, Elona, and I shall never love another as I have loved you.'

Elona made him no answer as she turned away for there was nothing she could say. It was true that her heart belonged to another. Running away from Stefan would not change that, merely increase her sorrow.

Alone in her chamber, Elona sat looking out at the moon as it sailed through a clear sky. There would be frosts on the morrow, she thought, for winter was fast approaching. Her heart felt heavy as she combed her long hair and sighed for something that was as far away as the moon itself. She had dismissed her women after they had helped her prepare for the night, but was too restless to sleep.

She knew that she would not ask Stefan to release her again, and yet the years promised little happiness. She loved her husband desperately, but he did not love her. He desired her body, his eyes told her that, but he did not love her. Somehow she must learn to accept the hopelessness of her situation and accept the terms he offered.

Tears trickled down her cheeks. Why could he not love her as she loved him? She wiped away the tears with the back of her hand. Weeping would not help her.

'Why do you weep, my lady?'

Elona was startled by his soft voice so close to her. She had not heard him enter her chamber, but he had come through the door that led to his own bedchamber. He had not used it before and she had almost forgotten it was there, hidden as it was behind a heavy drape.

'I was thinking of my father and brother,' she lied instinctively. He must not know that she wept for him.

'You miss them both still?'

'I was happy while Pierre lived,' she said. 'After my brother's death, my father was often silent and withdrawn. Sometimes he forgot I was there, but I believe he loved me in his own way. Pierre's loss was a heavy blow to him and he never truly recovered from it.'

'And your mother died soon after you were born?'

'Yes. My father married again for the sake of his children. The Lady Elizabeth was very good to us. I think we were fortunate to have her.'

She had risen to her feet now, gazing into his face, her breast rising and falling as her breath quickened. The candles had burned low in their sconces and cast shadows over him so that it was difficult to see his face clearly.

'Your mother died soon after your birth, I believe?'

'For a long time I believed that I had killed her. But I know now that the birth made her frail of health and she died some months later. My father could not bear to be reminded of it and as soon as I was old enough he sent me away to our kinsman to be educated.'

'Surely he did not blame you for her death? The child is not to blame for the suffering it causes at its birth.'

'No matter,' Stefan said and shrugged. 'It was a long time ago. I mentioned it merely because it was something we had both experienced. I do not like to see you so unhappy, Elona. Do you truly wish to leave us? Would it make you happy to return to your home for a few months?'

'Would you let me go?'

'If you gave me your word that you would return one day. I do not want to keep you a prisoner here, though I should not wish to lose you for ever.'

'Why?' Elona moved closer to him, straining to see his face in the flickering light. 'Surely you cannot wish to keep a woman who trapped you into marriage with her lies? Would it not be better to have the marriage annulled?'

'I hardly think that possible after the other night,' Stefan said and there was a faint smile on his lips. 'I was angry-as much with my father for believing me untrustworthy as with you for lying.'

'I am sorry I caused Sir Ralph to think ill of you. Shall I write and tell him the truth?'

'No-then I should be very angry. I do not beg for forgiveness of any man, even my father.'

'But it was my fault-'

'No matter. Had he not been so ready to despise me, he would have listened to me instead of demanding that I put right the wrong I had done you.'

'Yet still I would make amends. I lied and now you are bound to a woman you cannot love.

'No, that is not so,' Stefan said and her heart caught. 'I think I wanted you from the first moment I saw you, but I did not know my own heart.'

'Stefan...' Was he saying this only to please her? He hushed her with a finger to her lips. 'Let me finish, impatient one. I knew that I wanted you. I would have spoken much sooner, but my honour held me back. You were destined to be Alain's bride, and therefore forbidden to me. How could I speak when to do so would have robbed my own brother?'

'Alain did not want to marry me. Nor was there ever any promise between us,' Elona cried.

'I had given my promise to your father and to my stepmother. I do not take these things lightly, Elona.'

'I know...' She held her breath, knowing that she must tell him all. 'I thought that if I did not lie to your father I would lose you. I believed that, after you had delivered me to Banewulf, you would go away and I should never see you again.'

'It was my intention to speak to Alain, to discover if he would release you. I do not know what I might have done had he refused-for it was not until you were s.n.a.t.c.hed from me, and then when you lied about the child, that I realised how much I wanted you. I could not bear to think that any other man had touched you.'

'I thought you hated me then. You were so angry.'

'Angry and jealous,' Stefan confirmed ruefully. 'I hated the man who had been your lover. I would have killed him if I could. For a while I wanted to kill you. It was because I was afraid that I might do you some harm that I left you at Banewulf. Believe me, I was tempted many times to come and fetch you. Only pride held me back.'

'I was so unhappy. I believed you would never send for me and I wanted to die. Alain saw me weeping and it was his idea that I should come here. I was sure you would send me away at once, but he said that you were not so foolish.'

'It seems he knew me better than I knew myself.' Stefan's eves were dark with some strong emotion. 'And he was able to see that you were innocent because his judgement was clear. I was such a fool to believe ill of you. Can you find it in yourself to forgive me, Elona? I know I hurt you the other night. I have found it hard to forgive myself.'

'I was hurt that you should think me so low, Stefan-but as for the other...' She smiled up at him. 'I wanted you to take me, to make me yours. It was the reason I had them prepare a bath for you in my chamber, why I sent my ladies away. I hoped that it would make you forget your anger.'

'I forgot everything, including my honour,' Stefan admitted with a wry twist of his lips. 'You were right to brand me a savage, Elona-but it was because I wanted you too much to hold back. Your consideration for my comfort, your touch, had aroused me-and then, again. I lost my temper when I learned that your squire was here. I thought that you still loved him and I could not bear it. I shall try to make you happy next time-if you are willing to forgive me and begin anew?'

'Do you not know that all I want is for you to love me?' She had no pride left, for her heart and body longed to be as one with him.

'You must know that I do? Why else should I be driven mad with jealousy at the thought of another man touching you?'

'Then take me to you,' Elona said. 'Let us make this a true marriage, my lord.'

'My sweet temptress,' Stefan said as he moved towards her, clasping her against him in a pa.s.sionate embrace. 'How I have burned for you, longed for this moment.'

His kiss was soft and tender, but beneath the gentleness was a hunger that he held in check. Elona was aware that he had himself on a tight leash as he led her to their couch. She stood meekly as he undressed her, letting him play the role he had chosen for himself. She had been his handmaiden, but this time he would be hers.

He knelt before her, kissing her navel as she stood naked and proud, her clothes lying in a heap on the floor. His tongue circled the perfect little indentation, moving slowly over the firm flat flesh to her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. His mouth closed over the peaked nipples, which were evidence of her arousal, nudging them with his tongue and lips and sucking at them delicately until she gasped with pleasure, her back arching, hair falling past her narrow waist.

He lay her down on the bed and began to discard his own clothes, ripping at the fastenings in his urgency to join her. In a moment he was there beside the bed, gazing down at her, the hot pa.s.sion in his eyes, feasting on the creamy perfection of her body, and she was able to let her own eyes dwell on the hard suppleness of his.

Lean and honed to supreme fitness, Stefan's arms, chest and thighs were strongly muscled, his skin ridged in places by small scars that he had received in battle. As he lowered himself to the bed beside her, she traced one of the larger scars with the tip of her forefinger.

'You have been hurt many times, my lord?'

'They are nothing, Elona. When I thought you lost to me I received a far deeper wound.'

'Forgive me...' she began but his lips were on hers, cutting off her words. And then as his hands began to stroke and caress her, she forgot everything but the sweet sensations he was arousing in her. 'Stefan...'

'My lovely Elona. . . my wife...'

She had never felt such pleasure, never dreamed that her body could feel this way, could respond to his touch so readily. It was as if she were an instrument on which he played, making her body sing in perfect harmony. Their bodies seemed to fit together, lying side by side, his teasing lips and tongue making her writhe as the pleasure intensified to an almost unbearable pitch. If it did not end soon, she would die of it!

When he parted her thighs to allow his entry, she prepared herself for the inevitable pain she must feel, but this time Stefan did not thrust heedlessly into her. This time it was slow and easy, sensuous, her body opening in welcome to his hardness, her moistness enclosing him like a silken sheath.

She gasped with pleasure, her back arching to meet him now, yet still he held back, moving slowly and surely, bringing her with him as he climbed towards that moment of supreme ecstasy.

She cried his name aloud, her nails scoring his shoulders as she felt a spasm of something that was both pleasure and pain shoot through her. The next moment she felt the weight of his body on her and heard his deep breathing, the shudders that ran through him convulsively as she writhed beneath him, and she knew that he was as shaken by this thing that had happened between them.

"Tis no wonder they call it the little death,' Stefan murmured. 'I vow I died and woke in paradise.'

'You must not blaspheme,' she chided, but with a gurgle of delighted laughter for his words had echoed what was in her mind.

She expected that he would leave her as he had the first night, but instead he lay beside her, holding her close, stroking her back as if he could not bear to let her go. Was it possible that he did truly love her more than she had ever thought he would? Tears stung her eyes as she realised that she had been given so much that night, but she would not let them fall.

She felt a strange la.s.situde steal over her, closing her eyes as he whispered softly to her. He spoke of love, of their life together, and of the children they would have.

Elona slept. She felt at peace. Stefan spoke of love and she must believe him. She knew he wanted her, knew that their loving had given him pleasure, and that was as much as she could ask for. Perhaps he truly loved her. Only time would tell.

'Will you take me hunting with you tomorrow?' Elona asked as they were at supper a week later. 'I sometimes hunted with my brother in the forest at home.'

'If you wish it, my lady,' Stefan said and sipped his wine, his eyes thoughtful as they dwelt on her. 'But remember that we hunt for food and not for pleasure. I dare say your brother took you hawking, which is a very different thing.'

'We also hunted for deer and wild boar as you do, for my father also had a concession from the King to take so many deer each year, and our forest had herds of wild boar. In truth, I do not care so much for the kill, but the chase is always exciting.'

'Well, you need not be there at the kill,' Stefan said. 'Our men will see to that side of things and we may walk a little in the woods.'

The look in his eyes made her laugh, her cheeks a little pink, for she knew well enough what it meant. This past week he had come to her bed every night and she had learned to know him.

Life had become full of good things for Elona. She enjoyed the work she did, ordering her household, keeping her accounts, filling the shelves of the stillroom and visiting the villagers.

Already life had begun to return to normal there. New stone cottages were being built to replace those destroyed by the fire and a wall was being erected, with a warning bell to sound the alarm, to make it more difficult for the village to suffer a surprise attack in the future. Stefan was also training the villagers to defend themselves so that they were able to hold off an attacking force for long enough for help to reach them.

The man Ulrich had taken a wife from a village nearby, and his son had begun to learn his father's trade. It seemed to Elona that everything was almost perfect.