Duplicity. Part 13

He frowned. "What the h.e.l.l were you subjected to at your father's firm?"

"Oh, you know, he made a point of there being absolutely no favouritism where I was concerned. In fact, I think he maybe went to the opposite extreme now I think about it. Nothing I ever did was good enough. And I don't just mean at work." My mouth was running away with me, and the easy-going nature of my new boss made opening up far too easy.

f.u.c.k. Too much information.

Alasdair clenched his jaw and he leaned toward me. "Well, let me tell you now, Fin, you deserve to be treated with respect and to be acknowledged for your talent as a lawyer. I hope you believe me when I say that. I don't tell lies."

I nodded and swirled my drink around in my gla.s.s, suddenly feeling a little embarra.s.sed for sharing so much of myself with him. "Thanks. That means a lot." Why did I feel like I had been rescued on more than one occasion recently?

"Look, I know your family life has nothing to do with me, Fin. And I know that I was seen as the enemy for so long, but I just want you to know that how you were treated before, nothing ever being up to standard, your relations.h.i.+p with Elise... If you'd been my son, things would have been completely different. My daughter, Eleanor, runs a fas.h.i.+on boutique in the city." His eyes softened with fondness. "When she was growing up, all she ever wanted to be was a fas.h.i.+on designer. She'd sit for hours making dresses from sc.r.a.ps of fabric for her Barbie and Sindy dolls. Then she'd make me and her mother sit and watch her fas.h.i.+on shows. Bless her heart. She knew how to put an outfit together though, I'll give her that. She studied fas.h.i.+on at university for a while but then decided it wasn't for her so she dropped out."

I gasped. In my family, failure wasn't an option. Dropping out wasn't an option, and choosing your own career path was definitely not an option. "Oh. You must have been disappointed."

He scrunched his brow and shook his head. "Why would I be disappointed? She used her brain and made a decision that made her happy. She put a business plan together and went to the bank. She got a loan and opened up a vintage clothing boutique. She has made a great success of fas.h.i.+on just like she wanted to. It just wasn't the route she initially expected to take. But she's happy, Fin. She's doing what she loves, and that's great as far as I'm concerned. That's what's important. Whatever she decided to do, I didn't care as long as it was right for her. That's what I'm trying to get you to understand. A parent should want their child's happiness above anything else. Success alone means nothing. This is why I feel it's so important for you to be with my firm. I think you could be fulfilled here."

"I...I don't get why you're so concerned with my happiness. Anyone would think you were my father and not Campbell." Oh f.u.c.k. A cold sweat broke out on my forehead. "You're not my father, are you? This isn't some kind of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader situation, is it?"

Alasdair burst into laughter and held up his hands. "No, no. I can a.s.sure you, Fin, I'm not your father. And I'm not trying to get you to join the dark side. Quite the opposite." He shook his head, still laughing. "I think I got the lines wrong there somewhere. That's not how it goes in the film at all."

A wave of disappointment rushed through me. I think every kid, at some point, goes through the whole "Am I adopted?" thing, and Alasdair sounded like the kind of dad I would have liked growing up. I could have been a musician with a dad like him. If only we could sometimes choose our family as well as our friends.

Star Fin's nerves almost got the better of him, and it took all of my feminine wiles to get him to attend his first get together with Hydde. I had never known someone so mercurial. One minute he was the shy, sweet guy who blushed when ordering coffee, and the next he was this amazingly s.e.xy, confident singer with the stage presence of Chris Cornell or Eddie Vedder. In a strange way, it was nice that I got to see the sweet, tender side of him, but the stage persona of my very own Jekyll and Hyde was a major turn on. He brought a whole new and positive meaning to the word duplicity, that's for sure.

We made our way across the city to an old warehouse on the outskirts, and as we sat there in the back of the cab, Fin clung to my hand so tightly I was sure my fingers would drop off. I glanced sideways at him and my heart squeezed in my chest. He was chewing the thumbnail on his free hand, his knee bobbed up and down, and his jaw was ticking.

He was terrified.

I reached up and stroked my fingers along his fuzzy, bearded jawline, and he turned to me. In a heartbeat, he leaned in and slipped his free hand into my hair, and his mouth tenderly moved over mine in a sweet but panties-melting kiss. When he pulled away, he gazed into my eyes and a crease appeared in his brow.

"Thank you for coming with me. I don't think I could've faced it alone."

I shook my head. "You're going to be great."

"But what if they realise I'm not actually that good, Star?"

Smiling warmly, I cupped his face. "Fin, I believe in you and so do they. You are amazing. Please try to accept that." Without speaking, he gave me a tight-lipped smile and pulled me possessively into his side.

I suddenly realised he and I had one very big thing in common. Neither of us truly believed in ourselves or our talent. The things he had said to me about my photography were exactly how I felt about his singing. It was like kismet. Even after such a short time, we each saw the best in one other. The realisation made my eyes sting a little. I was meant to meet this guy. At that moment, sitting there in the cab, I knew this for a fact. Regardless of my previous thoughts on such things, this felt like fate.

The rehearsal studio was like something from a movie set. I observed as the guys sat in a circle, jamming. Fin's voice had its usual effect on me, and my body p.r.i.c.kled with gooseb.u.mps. Every so often, he glanced over and winked at me. I decided that the photos I was going to take would only be taken when he wasn't aware-when he was lost in the music.

To say this was Hydde's first practise with their new vocalist, things were going remarkably well, and the more I listened, the more impressed I became. My new shy, una.s.suming and kind of emotional man had found his Eden. There in the studio where he could just be ruled by the music, he let go and gave it his all.

As it was their first rehearsal, they stuck to covers they all knew and loved, and hearing the familiar songs delivered so emphatically by Fin made my heart soar. Nate began to play the intro to "Breathe You In" by Stabbing Westward on his acoustic guitar, and Fin closed his eyes. The softness of his voice took me by surprise as he began to sing lyrics that clearly resonated deep within him. They spoke of being afraid to love again, and the fear surrounding letting himself feel.

The honesty of the lyrics was disarming, and my heart ached for him. He had been let down by those closest to him, people he had trusted, including his fiancee, and so there was no wonder he was reluctant to expose his heart again, but at the same time, he was saying he wanted to try.

At the chorus, he opened his eyes and stared straight at me. Into me. Without thinking, I lifted the camera and began to shoot. I threw my original decision to only take incidental photos out of the window. I was mesmerised. Hypnotised by the emotions in his vivid blue eyes.

I was lost.

Captivated.

Once the rehearsal was done, Fin made his way over to me where I sat perched on a stool in the corner. The shy smile on his face was enough to make me spontaneously combust, and I s.h.i.+vered as he ran his hands up my bare arms and rested them on my shoulders.

He leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead. "So? What did you think?"

Think? Oh, s.h.i.+t. I'm actually supposed to respond with something intelligent. How can I when I've turned to a gelatinous pile of mush? Come on, Star! Put brain into gear.

I gazed up into those pools of blue and finally found some words. "You were amazing. You just...you gel. As a band, I mean. It...it just works." My excitement grew as I enthused about the rehearsal. Every word filled with honesty. "You're just so natural, Fin. You were born to be on stage with that voice. And those guys, wow. It all sounded phenomenal."

His shy smile widened and became a full blown, s.h.i.+t-eating grin. "You really think it was that good? Or are you just biased?" He narrowed his eyes at me and tilted his head to one side.

"G.o.d, no. I mean, yes. Yes, I'm biased in a way, I guess. But honestly, you have such an effect on me when you sing."

"Oh yeah?" He stepped closer and I widened my knees to allow him to slip his arms around me and rest his forehead on mine. "What effect do I have on you?"

I glanced in the direction of the rest of the band and they were making kissy faces like dumb teenage boys.

I rolled my eyes and then focused my attention on Fin once again. "Um...judging by what the guys are doing right now, I'm guessing this is not the place to have this conversation."

Fin turned around and the guys began whistling and pretending to pack up their gear. I couldn't help laughing at their feigned occupation. They were a great bunch of guys and, oh boy, were they talented. But they were typical guys when all was said and done.

Fin turned back to me, shook his head, and kissed my cheek before whispering, "Hold that thought, Miss Mendoza. You can show me later what I do to you. Come on, let's go. The sooner we get back to my place..." He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and grinned. He took my hand and pulled me down from my seat and then led me out the door.

Fin As Star and I walked out of the rehearsal studio, I was buzzing. It was the best high I'd had that didn't involve s.e.x or alcohol. The cab ride over had been terrifying. I had felt nauseated and light-headed, but Star had calmed me simply by being there. Something about her grounded me. Even though she had considered us opposites to begin with, I now knew we had more in common than either of us first realised. Yes, there was an obvious and undeniable attraction, but there was so much more.

When I'd initially walked into the rehearsal studio, I'd immediately felt intimidated. Strange, considering I could stand up in a courtroom and defend someone with utmost confidence and come across as a very together, even arrogant, guy. But being there with the band was nothing like I expected. I was thinking church hall, pub function room. A professional rehearsal studio in a converted warehouse was not something I'd antic.i.p.ated. Stupid really, when I knew the guys were adults and not some teenage wannabes being let out for a couple of hours by their parents. I really needed to increase my expectations.

Especially those I placed on myself.

I needed the fresh air, and so Star and I walked home across the city, taking in the atmosphere of the place as the Friday night revellers sang in drunken unison about some football team or other that allegedly wore the opposing team's mothers' underwear. We laughed as they walked past us, and one of them grabbed Star and spun her around, waltzing her across the precinct as his friends cheered him on. Luckily, there was no malice in them.

Once they were out of sight, I pulled Star into a darkened doorway and kissed her pa.s.sionately, but she stiffened in my arms. I asked if I had done something wrong and she began to explain.

"My last boyfriend, Mick the p.r.i.c.k, as Alec called him...he dumped me just before my birthday because we were apparently moving too fast and he needed some alone time."

"Ah. But the doorway?"

"Yeah, I'm getting to that. I was walking home one night after work, and I spotted him and one of the girls from the bar where he worked. They were making out in a shop doorway. It was pretty X-rated stuff from what I could see. It just proved to me that I have to be more careful who I trust, I guess."

I smacked my head. "Aww, f.u.c.k. And then I come along and drag you into a doorway. s.h.i.+t, I'm sorry."

She smiled, but it was fleeting. "No, don't be. You didn't know any of that. It's fine."

But her expression told me it wasn't fine at all. We began to walk again and I cringed and regretted my attempt at romance.

As we walked in silence, I could feel her eyes on me, and when I turned my head, she was chewing her lip, a distinct mask of worry on her face.

I stopped and pulled her into my arms. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I think I may have over-reacted about the doorway thing. I'm sorry."

I smiled and shook my head. "G.o.d, you're too sweet, you know that?"

Shyness replaced the anxiety on her face and she tilted her head to one side. "Am I?"

"You are." I leaned in and ran my nose down the length of hers, finis.h.i.+ng the gesture with a tender kiss to her lips. She closed her eyes and sighed as I told her, "Mmm, you taste sweet too."

Her eyelids fluttered open and she gazed up at me. "I love that Stabbing Westward song you sang earlier."

"Hmm, I seem to remember a chat we were going to have back at mine." I grinned at her and ran my thumb along her bottom lip.

She sucked my thumb into her mouth, sending a jolt of pleasure right to my groin. She released my thumb with a pop. "I seem to remember that too."

My erection grew, and I had to change the subject before I dragged her into another doorway. "If you can think of any songs you'd like to hear me sing, you'll have to tell me, you know? Especially songs that have that effect on you that you mentioned earlier."

She smiled up at me and my heart melted. "I'll bear that in mind."

I had to get her home. And the sooner, the better.

The rest of the journey back to my apartment was made in comfortable silence. We were both lost in thought, absorbing the weekend atmosphere of the city we called home with its buzzing restaurants and pounding ba.s.slines that made the pavements outside the clubs vibrate. Every so often, we shared knowing smiles and glances, and the antic.i.p.ation of getting her alone almost made me break out into a run.

We reached my apartment block and she pulled me into the doorway and crushed her mouth against mine, her tongue sliding inside. So, doorways are back on the table, hmm? Once she had finished devouring my mouth, she let me punch the security code into the exterior pad and then pulled me through the s.p.a.ce created as the door automatically opened.

We silently took the stairs up to my floor, and once inside my apartment, I pushed her up against the wall, feeling a little more comfortable in my own surroundings. "So, you were going to tell me about the effect I have on you when I sing." My lips hovered over hers as I slipped my hand down her side and lifted her thigh.

She gasped. "I...I get s.h.i.+vers. The edge to your voice makes me want you."

"It does, eh? Tell me more."

She pulled her full bottom lip into her mouth and let it slip out as I watched. My eyes fixed on the plump, pink flesh. Her breathing rate increased. "My heart beats faster. I close my eyes and imagine your mouth next to my ear, your hot breath on my neck." Oh, she was getting into this and, of course, I was too.

I moved to her ear and whispered. "Like this?"

"Uh-huh."

"Anything else?"

"Pa.s.sion. I hear pa.s.sion in your voice and you sing the words like they mean something to you. It doesn't matter which song you're singing. I feel every emotion you express. Whether it's anger...or...or...l.u.s.t." Her voice wavered and her chest heaved as I caressed the silky exposed skin of her thigh. I slipped my hand further and further until I reached her bottom, and squeezed as I pressed myself into her body, my erection thickening as she spoke.

I flicked my tongue at the sh.e.l.l of her ear and then spoke in a husky whisper that belied my desperation to take her. "I see. And when I make eye contact with you when I'm singing?" I nibbled a trail from just below her ear down to her collarbone and felt her s.h.i.+ver as I kneaded the flesh under my fingertips. Her hips rotated into me, creating a tantalising pressure.

She half sighed, half groaned. "Hmm...I get caught in your stare. Your eyes...they undress me...piece by piece...until I feel exposed to you... soul deep. Naked."

G.o.d, she had a way with words. I was so turned on, and I ground my erection into the apex of her thighs, making her gasp again. I lifted her and she automatically wrapped her legs around me, making her short skirt ride up her body. As I carried her to my bedroom, we kissed breathlessly and our tongues caressed, tasted and teased each other. I couldn't get enough and doubted I ever would.

When I placed her gently down on my bed, she unb.u.t.toned her fitted s.h.i.+rt until her black satin-covered b.r.e.a.s.t.s were free for me to feast my gaze on. She pulled herself up and removed the s.h.i.+rt, letting it drop from her fingertips to the floor, and then she climbed up onto her knees and unb.u.t.toned my s.h.i.+rt, slowly and seductively, keeping her eyes locked on mine. Once my chest was exposed, she leaned in to place kisses between my pecs and down to my happy trail-which I now wanted to rename my ecstatic trail.

She deftly freed the b.u.t.ton and zipper on my jeans and shoved them down my thighs, along with my boxers, as she continued to place gentle kisses over my sensitive flesh. I sucked air in through my gritted teeth as I let my head fall backwards. The pleasure was so intense that I almost lost myself in the depths of ecstasy, and a groan escaped from my throat when she suddenly ceased her ministrations. Feeling rather bereft for a moment, I lifted my head and s.h.i.+fted so I could look down at her.

To my surprise, she had somehow discarded her remaining clothing and was laid back, naked and pleading with me, although not with words. Her intense and penetrating gaze spoke volumes. Kicking off my jeans, I bent to grab a condom from my nightstand and then lowered myself to the bed. She reached up and dragged her nails down my torso, leaving light white marks that faded soon after. I sheathed myself and positioned my body between her thighs.

Words rushed around my head and begged for escape from my lips, but what the h.e.l.l would she think if I set them free? She'd no doubt think it was some h.o.r.n.y, cliched expression of emotion attached to the desire and need I had to find my release. The last thing I wanted was to fire benign and seemingly empty words at her. Not that they would actually be empty. The feelings I had for her were like nothing I had ever experienced before. But in all honesty, the words in my head just didn't seem enough. And so I lowered my body and entered her, whispering sweet words about how she made me feel into her ear as she gripped my shoulder with one hand and my a.r.s.e with the other.

Slowly, I began to move inside her. The pace was deliberate. A kind of self-inflicted torture. I needed to make it last. I needed to feel every sensation intensely until I could hold back no longer. Only then would I really know what I had suspected for a while now.

I was in love.

Star The day that followed Fin's first rehearsal with Hydde was bright and sunny. But to be honest, if it had been raining and cloudy, I truly wouldn't have cared. The intensity of our love-making the night before had gotten to me so much that, once again, I had that stupid grin on my face. I'd stayed over, and luckily I'd had the common sense to pack fresh underwear and clothes for work the next day.

I walked into the coffee shop to find Alec already there. I was humming "Strange and Beautiful" again, and my boss/best friend rolled his eyes when I walked through to the back to take off my coat.

He followed me, and I knew he was about to start digging for information. "Hmm, someone looks like the cat who got the cream. I just hope the cream was caught in a condom."

I gasped at his gross remark. "Ugh! Alec, my G.o.d you can be so disgusting!" I threw a dish towel at him. It's good it was the only thing in close proximity.

"Well, I'm just saying. You don't know where he's been."

I flared my nostrils and placed my hands firmly on my hips. "Actually, I'm only his second s.e.xual partner, if you must know. Not that you need to know anything of the sort. The men I sleep with are my business, Alec McVey, and I'd be happier if you'd stop poking your nose into my affairs." He held his hands up in surrender but my good mood was ruined.

He picked up the dish towel that had landed on the floor and threw it onto the laundry pile. "I'm just worried about you, Twinkle, that's all. You trust so easily, darling." He slowly walked toward me, hands aloft as if approaching a startled mare in a corral.

He was like a big brother to me, and I needed him. In spite of what I'd expressed only moments before, I was kind of glad he was around and he had my back.

I sighed and softened a little. "I know. And I do appreciate it, Al. I really do. But you've got it wrong about Fin. He's sweet and funny and kind. He makes me feel good and I love to spend time with him."

He took another tentative step. "I know, hon. It's just it worries me how fast this is all happening after how he treated you before. I know I'm not responsible for you, but you're like family to me. If anything was to happen..."

I closed the remaining gap between us and slipped my arms around his waist. Resting my head on his chest, I told him, "I'm a big girl, Al. But I love you, and I'm grateful to have you looking out for me."

His arms came around me and he squeezed me tight. "I'll always look out for you, babe. You know that."

The day was busy yet uneventful until around three in the afternoon when my cell rang. It was Fin's number, and a s.h.i.+ver of excitement pa.s.sed through me.

"Hey." My voice was breezy and a little breathy. This was the effect he had on me.

"Hey, your s.e.xy self." Oh my G.o.d, I loved his accent. "I have news."

"Oh? I hope it's good news."

He chuckled and I could imagine the smile playing on his oh-so-kissable lips. "Well, I think it's quite exciting."

"Come on then. Don't keep me in suspense."

"Na, I'd rather keep you in suspenders." His husky whisper made my muscles clench in antic.i.p.ation.