Crazy Stupid Obsession Part 1

Crazy Stupid Obsession.

Crazy Love.

Melissa Toppen.

Love isn't perfect. It's crazy. It's stupid. It's messy. It's flawed. That's what makes it so d.a.m.n beautiful.

Chapter One.

Gavin.

f.u.c.king Decklan... He's my brother. Not by blood but that doesn't matter. I'd take a bullet for him and him for me. But right now I'm thinking I'd be more likely to f.u.c.king kill him myself than rather die for him.

Of course, none of this is his fault.

I'm the one who chose to pull Kimber into this which is what ultimately put me in this little predicament. I knew I needed Kimber. Decklan needed her. I didn't know what else to do. He's been sitting at Conner's grave for d.a.m.n near four hours, and she's the only one that can seem to talk any sense into his stupid a.s.s. Though I never thought I'd see the day when a woman would have that much power over him.

Regardless, I should have insisted Harlee not come with us. But even I know no matter how hard I tried to prevent that from happening, she would have ended up coming just the same. Kimber's her friend, her roommate, and if there's one thing I've learned about Harlee Travers it's that she's fiercely loyal and protective of the people she cares about.

I wish I could say her mistrust in me is misplaced, but even I know that's not the case. She sees me, maybe clearer than anyone else does. The thought is more than a little unnerving.

I try to block out the hushed conversation taking place next to me and focus my attention outside, but it doesn't do me much good. Hearing her giggle into the phone to Bryan, the guy she's apparently dating, is enough to make my blood boil, though I'm not entirely sure why.

"I know. I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you." I watch her out of the corner of my eye as she talks.

I don't know why it bothers me so f.u.c.king much, but right now the urge to grab the phone from her hand and tell this Bryan f.u.c.k that she's mine is d.a.m.n near overwhelming.

Mine? I don't even understand the notion.

We f.u.c.ked... Once.

Yeah it was good, and yes I have thought about it more than I probably would a normal hook up, but that doesn't mean I suddenly have some claim on her, or that I even want one for that matter.

"So, how long have you two been seeing each other?" I ask the question the moment she disconnects the call and lowers the phone from her ear, trying my best to sound as casual and unaffected as possible.

"Not long." She pushes her long blonde hair over her shoulder and turns her gaze out the window, staring out into the darkness.

I can see her face in the reflection of the gla.s.s, the dash lights illuminating her in the softest glow. I find myself momentarily distracted by how f.u.c.king beautiful she is.

I shake my head, trying to pull myself out of my haze.

I'm f.u.c.ked up over all the s.h.i.+t Deck is going through and making sure his crazy a.s.s is taken care of. I must just be off my game.

I need to get f.u.c.king laid, for starters.

"Is it serious?" Another question falls from my mouth like vomit I can't seem to swallow down.

Is it serious?

Am I f.u.c.king serious right now with these stupid a.s.s f.u.c.king questions?

"What, are we friends now?" She snaps her head toward me, narrowing her gaze.

"Just trying to make conversation." I give her an innocent smile to which she reacts with an eye roll before turning back toward the window.

I reach out and rest my hands on top of the steering wheel, letting out a loud breath. There's something about sitting this close to Harlee that has me all sorts of f.u.c.ked up. It doesn't help matters that she seems to have an issue with me, though it's not hard to guess why.

I really wish she hadn't come. I have no idea how long we will be sitting here. Every minute that ticks by becomes that much more difficult not to pull her into my lap and feel her tight and wet around me.

f.u.c.k.

Why did I tell Deck I would steer clear of her again?

I mean, not that he ever asked me to stay away from her. That's not his style. But out of respect for him and Kimber, I thought it best that I not add insult to injury where Harlee is concerned.

I'm fully aware of my ability to royally f.u.c.k everything up. I don't want to make things more difficult for Decklan. He's going through enough s.h.i.+t right now as it is.

Even still, I bet Harlee would happily let me f.u.c.k her again if I made the first move. Her anger is a smoke screen, a useless tactic to try to throw me off her real issue. She's not mad that I didn't come running to her after we f.u.c.ked. She's mad because she wants to f.u.c.k me again despite the fact that I completely blew her off.

f.u.c.k. I'm a little mad, too.

A small laugh escapes my lips at the thought, causing Harlee to s.h.i.+ft in her seat. I flip my eyes to the side, my gaze instantly falling to the inside of her thigh where her black dress has ridden up slightly. I immediately feel myself start to tighten at the thought of running my hands along her smooth flesh.

f.u.c.k... I really do need to get laid.

"I wonder what's going on out there." When she finally speaks she doesn't look in my direction. Instead, she continues to peer into the darkness, clearly just trying to fill the silence that has now settled around us.

"Who knows?" I shrug.

"So what's his deal anyway?" She finally meets my gaze, the green specks in her hazel eyes standing out in the dim lighting.

"Who Decklan?" I question.

"No, Prince Charles," she bites sarcastically as she rolls her eyes. "Yes Decklan," she tacks on.

"Not my s.h.i.+t to tell." I shrug.

"I'm not asking for his life story." She doesn't seem the least bit offended by my lack of an answer. "I just want to know what he's like, considering he's dating my roommate who happens to be a very good friend of mine."

"Why don't you ask Kimber?" I bounce my leg, growing increasingly more impatient.

"Because she loves him," she answers simply.

"What the f.u.c.k does that have to do with anything?" I arch my brow curiously.

"Love is blind, or have you never heard that before?" She studies me for a long moment.

"That's just what people say so they have an excuse to overlook other people's stupid s.h.i.+t," I snap, deciding if I don't get out of this truck right f.u.c.king now I'm gonna crawl out of my skin.

Pus.h.i.+ng the driver's side door open, I slide out, slamming it behind me. At first, I think Harlee is going to stay where she is, but seconds later I hear the pa.s.senger door creak open followed by the sound of her heeled feet as they hit the pavement.

"I take it you've never been in love before?" She rounds the truck, continuing our conversation without skipping a beat.

When I throw her an annoyed glare she changes tactics.

"All I'm saying is that Kimber is too in love with Decklan to see his flaws. As his best friend, I a.s.sume you know him better than anyone else. I just want to know if he's a good guy."

"Because I would tell you if he wasn't?" I shake my head, reaching into my jacket pocket to pull out my pack of cigarettes.

Sliding one out, I hold it between my lips as I search my pockets for a lighter.

"Here." Harlee's voice causes me to look up.

She has her hand extended, a small pink lighter clenched between her perfectly manicured fingertips.

"Thanks," I grumble, taking it from her.

"You know you really shouldn't smoke those," she tacks on after I've lit the cigarette and taken one long, hard drag.

"Let me guess, because they give you cancer." I pin my eyes on hers and take another deep inhale.

"Among other things." She takes her lighter back and slides it into the small purse clutched in her hand.

"My friend Paxton's mom just pa.s.sed away from lung cancer and she never smoked a day in her life. Everything will kill you. Might as well go out my way." I shrug, taking another drag from the cigarette. "Why the h.e.l.l do you even have a lighter, since you clearly don't smoke?" I tack on.

"Never know when you might need it." She crosses her arms in front of her chest and leans back against the side of the truck.

I think on her statement for a moment before finally deciding to answer her original question.

"He's a good guy."

"Huh?" She turns her face toward me, clearly not able to keep up with the quick change in conversation.

"Decklan. You asked if he was a good guy. He is. Probably one of the most loyal f.u.c.kers to ever walk the face of the earth. And he loves Kimber. Never thought I'd see the day that would happen but there it is. Good enough for you?" I ask.

"Good enough for me." A slow smile spreads across her face. "How long have you two known each other?" she asks.

"What, are we friends now?" I repeat her previous statement back to her, letting out a slow exhale of smoke.

She glares at me for a long moment. I can see the gears s.h.i.+fting inside that pretty little head of hers before she even opens her mouth to speak again.

"No, we're not." She breaks my gaze, looking away for a long moment before finally finding my eyes again. "Since you're not worried about sparing my feelings, why don't you tell me why you've avoided me like the plague since the night we hooked up?"

"I haven't avoided you." I take another hit of the cigarette before dropping it to the ground.

"No?" She c.o.c.ks her head to the side, her forehead scrunching together. "Pretty sure I tried reaching out, even suggested we hang out again. You blew me off with some bulls.h.i.+t excuse about having to work the bar that night."

"I work the bar most nights." I struggle to see what she's getting at.

"But my roommate is dating the other owner of the bar. Did you think I wouldn't know if you actually worked the bar that night or not?" She's trying to keep her face void of emotion but it's clear this bothers her more than she's likely to admit. "I guess I should have known better huh?" She hugs her arms tighter around herself when a cool breeze whips around us.

The wind catches her long blonde hair causing it to dance freely in the air. It's one of those moments that would make an incredible photograph. She's definitely more beautiful than any model I've ever seen. Her tall, slender body tucked up against my large truck. Her hair flying wildly around her beautiful face. Her hazel eyes cutting through the night like razors.

She really is f.u.c.king breathtaking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I finally blurt, not sure that I really want to know the answer to the question.

"I know what kind of man you are, Gavin. I knew the night I slept with you. And yet I did it anyway." She shakes her head, clearly regretting that decision.

Her reaction doesn't sit well with me. I don't want to be someone she regrets and yet, without even meaning to, that's exactly what I am.

"What kind of man is that exactly?" My voice comes out a bit harsher than I intend for it to.

"The kind of man who f.u.c.ks any woman he wants with no regard for her feelings." She meets my gaze straight on.

"I made no promises to you and yet you were still more than eager to climb up on my c.o.c.k. I'm pretty f.u.c.king sure I gave you exactly what you wanted." I take a couple of steps toward her, closing the distance between us until she is caged between me and the truck.

She's so close I can smell the traces of the vanilla body wash that lingers on her perfect f.u.c.king skin. Her full, pink lips are just inches from mine. Now centimeters.

I stop just shy of her mouth, smiling when her breath catches and her entire body tenses.

"That's what I thought," I breathe against her lips.

I fight the urge to taste her and take a step back, watching the disappointment flash across her face before it's immediately replaced by anger.

"f.u.c.k you, Gavin," she spits before whipping around and heading back toward the pa.s.senger door.

"Pretty sure you already did." I can't stop myself from saying it.

She hits me with a look of disbelief and then climbs into the truck, slamming the door shut behind her. I immediately regret my statement but can't bring myself to apologize for making it.

It's better this way; her hating me. At least if she hates me, then she takes away my power to hurt her. Because if given the opportunity I have no doubt that I would f.u.c.king destroy her and that tough little exterior she hides behind.

Chapter Two.