The Birds And The Bees Part 28

'She was terrified. Shaking when she got here.'

'But she never said she met you!'

'Adam, we became friends, we went shopping togetherI made her tea whilst she read to Danny. I even let her see my wedding dress. She was on our guest list!'

'Friends? She said Matthew loathed you!'

'She said you took all her money!'

'She said he'd called off the marriage but you were carrying on with the arrangements regardless!'

'She said you put her through h.e.l.l with the names you called her!'

'She said you used to get drunk and throw things at Matthew!'

'She said you used to smack her around!'

The words hung in the air like a discordant bell. Of all the lies Adam MacLean was hearing, he found this one hard to stomach most of all. Not after all he had seen as a child, the way his daddy laced into his mammy and he had to stand there and witness it all with his arms around his crying sisters, fearful in case his mammy died but scared to move in case he got hurt too. He never quite lost the guilt of thinking of his own needs, even though he was only a wee boy.

'Stevie, I've never laid a hand on a woman in my life,' he said. A shock of tears sprang involuntarily to his eyes and he wiped them away, embarra.s.sed. 'The reason I got together with Jo in the first place was to rescue her from some crazy guy that she was living with. He'd kicked her in the leg and she was limping. I found her crying outside the gym where I worked before this one.'

Stevie gulped. 'Top of her left thigh?'

'Aye,' he said.

'She said you did that.'

'Me!' He spun around, his voice booming, his bulk filling half the room, but he still didn't look in the least bit harmful. 'I cannae hit anyone. Look at the size o' me. I'd kill anyone I hit!'

'So you've not been in Barlinnie?'

'Barlinnie?' Adam laughed through the tears. 'Whit the h.e.l.l for?'

'GBH.'

'Grievous Bod...? Stevie, they wouldnae give me a job at Well Life sweeping flairs if I'd mair than three points on my driving licence! I've never been in a jail in my life. I've no' even hed so much as a parking ticket!' He dropped to the sofa. 'I can't believe aw this,' he said, rubbing his head with his huge hands, though it brought him no comfort. He had trusted Jo with all the horrors of his early life and she had used it against him. He really had been a fool. Would he ever learn?

Stevie had the overwhelming desire to go to him and touch him, hold him. She knew he had been hurt by her revelations. Never had she seen even the slightest intimation that Adam was the man that Jo had painted him to be, though she knew she had wanted to see him like that, because then she could blame him for what had happened and not her darling Matthew. Eddie had been right all along when he asked, what sort of a possessive psycho was it that let his wife go for away for a week to a health spa. They'd both been had. And Matthew was still being had. Should she tell him? What difference would it make, though? Hadn't Catherine tried to tell her what a b.a.s.t.a.r.d Mick Rook was? And had she believed her? No, nor would she have done, not even if Mick had had I am a b.a.s.t.a.r.d, stay away stickers plastered indelibly over every part of his anatomy.

'I'm sorry, Adam, I don't know what to believe any more.'

'Stevie, I'm no wife-batterer, I can tell you that. Is this true? Is this really what she said, because I don't know what to believe any more either.'

Stevie nodded slowly.

'Ah well, that explains a few things,' said Adam with weary resignation. 'I wondered why Matty Boy was wagging his finger at me, telling me no' to hurt you, and no' tae spend all your money.' His brain zapped to thoughts of mutual friends who no longer called, and a fresh wave of hurt engulfed him. 'I can't believe people think I'm that sort of guy. Catherine and Eddiethey know all this?'

Stevie gave another nod.

He looked cut down, felled like a big tree that wouldn't ever get up again.

'Well, if you think there is the slightest danger to you and your child from me, maybe it would be better if I just got out of your life totally tomorrow. We'll forget our plan and you get Matthew back your way. I don't think it will be long, for the record.'

'Okay,' said Stevie with a croaky voice. She didn't want him to go, but she needed s.p.a.ce. She needed to get away from thoughts of Adam MacLean's lips on her arm and the feel of her hand inside his. 'I think that might be for the best.'

Chapter 47.

Adam lay on the treatment table and groaned in pain. He had thought a Sunday-morning Kahuna session at the gym might help to ease the tension in his back and neck and shoulders, if not take away the knot in his head. He never expected that the tiny South African ma.s.seuse Simone could be capable of such brutality.

'My G.o.d, is it supposed to hurt that much?' he gasped as the points of her elbows pierced his kidneys. He could hardly breathe. She should have had SS embroidered on her tunic, not WL.

'You have a lot of crunchy bits, Adam,' said Simone. 'I need to s.h.i.+ft 'em'. Boy, you're tense!'

It was the sort of ma.s.sage Stevie would have liked to perform on him, he thought. One that hurt lots. Then thoughts of Stevie rubbing oil in his back ran on ahead of him, her small hands kneading his muscles, her fingers tripping up and down his spine. Then he would reciprocate and dribble the warm scented oil onto her body and smooth it over her soft curves, his thumbs circling her skin and making her groan. A mutinous body part stirred and he groaned inwardly. Och naw, that wasnae supposed to happen at all! Then he knew why he had said 'no' when Joanna MacLean had turned up at the gym and asked then pleaded, then begged to come home.

As Stevie was preparing the last meal she would share with Adam MacLean in this beautiful house, she saw Matthew through the window walking back home with an armful of Sunday newspapers. He looked like an old man with the cares of the world on his shoulders. Her heart lurched in his direction, in love or pity or both, she couldn't tell. How was it that she could write about feelings so incisively for her characters, but when it came to her own she was such a mess? Her emotions were like a big ball of wool that had been snagged and ripped and tangled by a very vicious cat.

Danny was colouring at the table. Stevie pulled his Dannyman collar out of his mouth.

'You'll suck all the dye out of your s.h.i.+rt and end up being blue like an alien, would you like that?'

'Wow, yeah!' he said, which hadn't been the answer she had expected.

'I give up. Suck your collar then, Danny, and don't come crying to me when you go blue,' she said impatiently.

She turned her attention to the Yorks.h.i.+re pudding mix. The flour rose up in a big c.u.mulous cloud as the beaters. .h.i.t it, blew it up her nose and made her sneeze. Adam, newly arrived in the doorway, hid the little smile that came because he was suddenly catapulted back to the first time he had seen her. It surprised him because he thought it would be a long time until he smiled again. His back was in pain from the Kahuna, his head was in pain from thinking of Jo's treachery. But it was his heart that pained him most of all.

'Have you seen a big bunch of keys, Stevie? I've put them down somewhere.'

'Oh, I thought I saw them upstairs. Or did I? Yes, I'm sure I did. Now where was it?'

She put the bowl down and went upstairs to look for them. He followed her and she did a sideways walk up in case he was taking a critical look at her b.u.m. Not that he'd be looking at her b.u.m when he liked a Jo MacLean kind of b.u.m i.e. non-existent.

'Yes, here they are,' she said, spotting them. 'I thought I'd seen them. There on the windowsill.' She reached over and handed them to him. His fingers brushed against hers and it was unbearable for both of them.

'Thanks,' he said. He looked down into her lovely blue eyes and was shamed that she had thought him the sort of man he despised. His 'plan' had been stupid. It had confused their lives even more, and he would be left with a worse loss than when he started.

Stevie raised her head to his face and saw him as he really was and how she had found him, not as Jo had led her to believe he was. You only had to look into his soft gentle eyes to know he didn't have the capacity to hurt anything. And how had she missed how generous his mouth was? An unattainable mouth, because it still belonged to Jo MacLean.

Her thoughts stopped there because her senses were alerted to a noise that was hardly indiscernible to the ear, but that a mother's heart would pick up. It was coming from the kitchen and Stevie's feet flew downstairs in response to it.

Danny wasn't playing any more. He was on the floor, shaking as if in a fit and in great distress, and his lips were paling to blue.

'Adam!' she screamed. 'Adam, help me!'

Adam bounced down the stairs.

'He's hardly breathing!' said Stevie, bent over her son. She pulled her hand back to slap him on the back. Adam caught her arm before it impacted.

'No, Stevie. Get an ambulance!'

'Yes,' she said. She picked up the phone and as if she was in a bad dream, it slipped out of her hand. She grabbed it up and could hardly see the numbers, she was crying so hard.

'Stevie, there's a b.u.t.ton missing on his collarwas there one here?'

'Yes, oh G.o.d yes, there was. h.e.l.lo...ambulance, please.' She sobbed as the phone connected with the Emergency Services and she hurriedly gave them her details. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was Danny's mother; she should be in control, saving his life, not standing therea big stupid jelly and hardly able to speak.

Adam scooped his finger in Danny's mouth.

'There's something in there. I think he's swallowed his b.u.t.ton and it's blocking his airway. I can't get to it.'

Adam got to his feet and pulled the limp little boy up, wrapping his arms around the child from the back. He braced himself and thrust his fist under Danny's ribcage. And again. It looked so brutal, so abusive. Then something flew out of the little boy's mouth and Danny gasped and started making sicky, retching noises and then he started crying. It was the most beautiful sound Stevie had ever heard.

Disorientated, Danny looked around for Stevie, reached out for her and Stevie pulled him into her arms and rocked him. She didn't know how long for, she didn't feel part of this world any more. She was numb and coc.o.o.ned in some safe bubble of time that let her savour the feeling of her son's breathing, of his life. They sat like that until the ambulance sirened up the lane and Adam met it at the door and explained to the paramedics what had happened.

'We'd better take you in, just as a precaution,' said one of the paramedics, giving Danny a quick once-over. 'Hey, young fella, how would you like to have a ride in the back of an ambulance?'

Danny nodded slowly, but he didn't say his customary, 'Cool,' which was telling. Adam lifted him away so Stevie could get up, and he cuddled up to the big Scot and wouldn't let him go. So Adam came too, in the back of the ambulance to the hospital.

Stevie sat in a cosy waiting room with Adam whilst Danny was in the consulting room with the doctor. She was remembering those awful first days of his life when her arms felt so empty. Her Little Fighter. She never thought she would feel that pain or that relief again. Being a parent gave you highs and lows that were almost an a.s.sault on the heart.

She wasn't sobbing as such, but her eyes were piping out tears. Adam watched them rolling down her face, one after the other, as if coming from an endless supply within. She looked so little, so tiny and more fragile than he could ever have imagined her.

'He was a premature baby,' she said at last. 'I didn't think he'd pull throughI was warned he might not. To have nearly lost your child once is terrible, to go through this twice...'

'Shhh,' said Adam, because even though he felt shaken himself, he couldn't imagine what Stevie must be feeling like.

'I told him if he didn't stop sucking his collar he'd turn blue and he did,' she wept.

'Stevie, stop tormenting yourself.'

'If you hadn't been there, he'd have died. If-'

'Stevie, if I hadn't been there, you'd have saved his life somehow, don't ask me how, but I know that without a shadow of a doubt. Now stop thinking about "if", there's no point. Danny is safe. "If" didn't happen.'

'You saved his life, Adam, and I was useless, c.r.a.p. A totally c.r.a.p mother.'

All her insecurities came to the fore. Not being able to keep her son's father, not being able to carry her baby full-term, not being able to keep her son's would-be stepfather, not giving Danny a settled home, not getting him to eat potatoes or bread, not being able to stop him chewing his collars, not being able to save his life...So many times she had wished to collapse against a big, strong man who would take control and sort everything out for her. Now here she was doing exactly that and it wasn't Welsh Jonny or Mick or Matthew, it was Adam MacLean, of all people. This truly was Fate's biggest joke on her yet.

'You're a great mother, trust me on this,' said Adam. 'You put food on his table, clothes on his back and love in his heart.'

'You've been reading my books.'

'Awa', I wouldnae read that pap.' He nudged her and she laughed, although the tears didn't stop. Each one brought out another at its end, like a magician's constant stream of sleeve scarves. Adam put his arm around her and squeezed her. She was all squashy and soft and warm and there was flour in her hair. He wanted to pull her onto his knee and sink his face into her neck.

The door opened and a smiley nurse came in.

'Hi there, Danny's mum?' Then she threw an extra 'Heeeey' at Adam, like a female version of The Fonz. 'Your little boy is fine,' she said. 'Scratched his throat a bit, that's all, but no lasting harm done. Do you want to come and get him?'

'Go on,' said Adam. 'I'll wait here for you.'

Stevie smiled at him and followed the nurse quickly out.

'So you're Adam's lady, are you?' said the nurse.

'No, we're just'mortal enemies'neighbours.'

'Adam's one of our favourites,' she leaned in and winked. 'He raised over three thousand pounds for us when he cut all his hair off. He helps us a lot. And, of course, he's our Father Christmas. The kids love him!'

A ginger Father Christmas with a scar? thought Stevie, and as if she had heard her, the nurse said, 'He tells the kids that he sc.r.a.ped his face on Rudolf's antler.' She actually sighed, as if she was talking about Ronan Keating.

Then Adam's number one fan opened up a door and gestured for Stevie to go in.

Danny was sitting on a bed and a beautiful female Indian doctor was talking to him.

'Is he okay, Doctor?' said Stevie, hugging her baby.

'He's fine. Little scratching to the throat, so I'll give you a prescription for an antibiotic just in case, and we also recommend an intensive course of ice-cream,' said the doctor, trying to coax a smile from her patient, and getting a very little one in return.

'No more sucking collars,' said the nurse with a gently wagging finger.

'Okay, I won't,' said Danny. 'Can I go home now?'

'Yes, I think so,' said the doctor.

'Do I need to keep him off school?' asked Stevie, taking the prescription.

'I don't think there's a need,' said the doctor, smiling. 'See how he is in the morning.'

Stevie wrapped up her son in her arms and carried him out. He smelt and felt so precious, but if she caught him sucking collars again, she would glue his mouth up.

Adam met them in the entrance hall. Danny reached out, gave him a big Superhero hug, and moved over into his arms. The wee boy smelt of his mother's perfume. He was so like her, with his honey-coloured hair and his big blue eyes, that Adam found himself gulping back something that made his eyes distinctly watery. His hold on the boy was tight and strong as they got a taxi home to Humbleby.

'I'll make you a cup of tea, huh?' Adam said when they got inside the house. 'Then I'll get aff.'

'Will you go back home?' said Stevie. Her throat felt worse than Danny's must have. Dry and sore. As if she had been gargling with razor blades.

'Aye,' he said, obviously not relis.h.i.+ng the prospect.

'Stay,' said Stevie. 'Please.'

'Aye,' said Adam.