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K'eb was serving supper, and everyone was engaged in pleasant conversation. It struck Adesina how different it felt to be among this group of companions rather than when she had been among her fellow s.h.i.+. The friendly words hid no underlying hostility and the camaraderie felt between them was real.
L'iam went to sit by Ri'sel, and E'nes beckoned for Adesina to join him. K'eb filled two plates of fried potatoes and venison and brought them over to the newcomers. The conversations continued, only slightly more subdued.
Ravi was also sitting by E'nes, studying Adesina with his usual thoughtful expression. She took the chair that was offered to her. "How was your hunt?"
Ravi smiled. "It went well."
She raised an eyebrow. "You know, I have never seen you hunt before."
"Well, I could not take you with me."
The young s.h.i.+mat rolled her eyes. "I mean, I have never even seen you leave to go hunt. I a.s.sumed that you did not need to eat."
A faint frown crossed her guardian's face. "That is ridiculous. Every living creature needs nourishment of some kind."
"You are the one who said you were a figment of my imagination," she said sarcastically.
E'nes chuckled at this exchange. "I am glad to see that you have found someone new to torment, Ravi, now that my mother is gone."
Adesina looked up from her plate in surprise. "Mother?"
Her brother nodded. "Yes. I told you that our family was good friends with Ravi's family."
The Rashad had an affectionate look in his eyes. "I never tormented E'rian. It was more of a battle of wits."
"Why did you not tell me before?" Adesina asked Ravi.
"I said that I knew your mother."
She shook her head in denial. "You said that you knew she was a good and wise woman, which any stranger could observe or overhear. You never told me that you knew her well."
He shrugged. "It was not relevant at the time."
Adesina was starting to feel angry. "Not relevant? How can you say that after my Dreams?"
E'nes looked back and forth between Adesina and Ravi with a puzzled expression. "Dreams? Adesina can Dream?"
She was too focused on Ravi to fully understand what her brother had said. It was a moment before she tore her gaze from her guardian and turned it to her brother. "What?"
The room had unexpectedly fallen silent. Adesina glanced around to see that all the L'avan were staring at her again, with the same look of apprehension in their eyes.
L'iam leaned forward. "Is it true, Adesina? Do you have the ability to Dream?"
The young woman clenched her jaw together, irritated that she was being stared at like an aberration.
Ravi was the one who ended up answering the question. "Yes, she can."
Adesina got to her feet, her chin held high. She looked each of the L'avan in the eye and then walked out of the room. She didn't stop until she was in the solitude of her bedroom. She shut and bolted the door, anxious to be left alone, then turned to face the window.
"Ma'eve?"
Ravi was standing next to the bed in the corner. Adesina didn't know how he had gotten into the room without her noticing, but did not question it. She was not in the mood for those kinds of questions.
"Did you see it, Ravi? Did you see the look in their eyes?"
His expression was kind as he moved to stand by her. "What look, Ma'eve?"
"Like I am a freak of nature," she spat.
"They are afraid," he explained gently, "because they do not understand."
She sat down so she was at eye level with her guardian. "Understand what? You said I was L'avan, and so did L'iam. Why am I still so different from them?"
His golden eyes were luminous, even in the fading light. "You are L'avan, Ma'eve, but you did not grow up as such. Your life has been very different from theirs, so of course you are different as well."
"I do not belong anywhere," she said softly, the words falling on her like a blanket of despair.
He shook his head. "Only if you choose to not belong."
They sat in silence for several minutes before Adesina could trust that her voice was steady enough to not betray the strength of her emotion.
She had been an outsider her entire life because of her physical traits and her unusual skills. Even though she had worked harder than anyone, it was not enough to earn her a place among her s.h.i.+mat peers. Now she had found people who shared her abilities as well as her strange coloring, and she was still an outsider even to them.
It did not matter that she had been born one of them, because she had not been raised like one of them. And it did not matter that she had been raised a s.h.i.+mat, because she had not been born a s.h.i.+mat. No matter what she did or whom she was with, she was completely alone.
Adesina used anger to cover her voice, and snapped at the Rashad, "Why can I do things that they cannot?"
Ravi, unmoved by her tone, thought about this for a while before answering. "You received training in your youth that is radically different from anything that the L'avan receive. Due to this training, you have developed in ways that the L'avan thought impossible."
It made sense in a way, but it didn't make Adesina feel any better. She walked over to the cot and laid down, draping her arm over her face. She was appalled to find tears welling up in her eyes.
Why was she crying?
Adesina couldn't understand. Yes, she was being judged and misunderstood, but this wasn't new. She had spent her whole life being judged by teachers and peers alike. Why should it bother her now?
She could only conclude that she was overly tired.
Ravi walked over and sat by the bed, leaning his head against her arm. He began singing softly in his rich, beautiful voice. Tears fell freely from Adesina's eyes, which remained covered by her arm.
When she had no more tears to cry, she finally found solace in sleep.
Chapter Twenty-three: New Lessons.
A soft knock on her door jerked Adesina out of sleep. Ravi was still sitting by her side, resting his head against her arm and humming quietly. A glance out the window told her that it was late morning. How had she slept so long?
She got out of bed and walked to the door, talking through it instead of opening it. "Yes?"
"Adesina?" came a m.u.f.fled voice. "It is I, E'nes."
The young woman debated whether or not to open the door. "What do you want?"
"You did not come out for breakfast. I just wanted to see if you were all right."
She leaned her forehead against the wood of the door. "I am fine."
There was pause.
"Would you like something to eat?"
Adesina shook her head, even though she knew he couldn't see it. "No. I am not hungry."
Another pause.
"Very well. L'iam was wondering if you wanted to begin your lessons."
L'iam did not stare at Adesina the way the others did, and she deeply appreciated that. Also, it would give her something new to think about. She glanced back at Ravi, who was looking at her intently, and took a deep breath.
"Tell him I will be out shortly."
She could hear E'nes walking away, even though he moved very quietly. There was a brief moment where Adesina simply stood leaning against the door. She felt weary, down to her very spirit.
Finally, she sighed and straightened.
She turned towards the table, imagining that she probably was a mess. She brushed out her long hair and re-braided it, letting the braid hang down her back. She washed her face and tidied her s.h.i.+mat uniform, wis.h.i.+ng she had a change of clothes. Then she pulled on her boots and turned to Ravi.
"Will you be following me today?"
It was said sarcastically, but Ravi detected a hint of a request behind her tone.
"Of course, Ma'eve."
Adesina nodded in a seemingly cold manner and walked out the door. Her step was firm with determination now and there was a steely glint in her eye. K'eb and Ri'sel were sitting in the main room, but she pa.s.sed them as if they were nonent.i.ties.
Her brother was waiting for her just outside. He said nothing, but pointed north of the fort. She turned to walk in the direction that he had indicated.
For several minutes there was nothing but trees and occasional birds. Then, in the distance, she spotted L'iam's deep blue tunic and golden hair.
He stood with his back to her and his arms relaxed at his side. There was something different about hima"something that flickered just outside of Adesina's range of sight. Almost as if he would be glowing if it were dark.
He heard her approach and turned around, the flicker dying with the movement. His pleasant features greeted her amiably with a smile. "Good morning."
"Good morning," she replied.
He gestured that she should come and stand by him, which she did warily. Ravi took a seat several feet away, a faintly amused expression on his face.
"There are several different kinds of vyala," L'iam began, not wasting any time. "Nevertheless, understanding one means understanding them all."
The s.h.i.+mat nodded, but said nothing.
"The most important part of working with your vyala is focus. Focus hard enough, and you can do almost anything."
L'iam saw her body tense in preparation. He smiled, "Also keep in mind that this is something that comes naturally to you. An infant is not taught how to breathe, it automatically knows how. The awareness of it only comes later when it is brought to their attention. Such is the nature of vyala with the L'avan. A L'avan child can use vyala years before they realize what they are doing."
She frowned. "How can something come naturally but need focus at the same time?"
"Do you breathe the same when you run as when you walk?" L'iam asked. "When you fight as when you sleep? Vyala is connected to instinct up to a certain point. After that, it requires work."
It made sense to Adesina. L'iam had mentioned that she had been using magic unintentionally, but even that had called for practice and focus.
He planted his feet, facing the young woman before him. "To begin, I believe it will be more effective if I show you before you try yourself."
The strange luminescence that she had seen before reappeared in L'iam's eyes. They became a s.h.i.+mmering gold and green, swirling as if moved by some underlying current. Adesina stared in fascination at the change.
He reached out to her. "Give me your hand."
She hesitated, suddenly afraid of what might happen. He had said that magic would change her, and she didn't know if she was ready.
L'iam did not push her to a decision, but waited patiently with his arm outstretched. With a small amount of trepidation, she decided to trust him and took his hand.
Adesina immediately felt power surge up her arm and through her entire body. It was beyond anything that she had ever experienced in her entire life, and she found that she was both warmed and energized by the feeling. It was overwhelming and fulfilling and heady.
She discovered that she was hyperaware of her environment. It was almost as if the wind were actually visible around her. The plants and rocks radiated a peculiar light, and the trees seemed to be moving of their own accord.
Somewhere through the glow of energy she felt, Adesina heard L'iam's musical voice speaking to her. "Everything in the universe has energy. This energy can take many forms, but it is always the same energy. It is the link between us all." She felt him reaching out and connecting with their surroundings. "As a wielder of this energy, you have the ability to affect everything around you in a wide variety of ways. You can lend energya"
She felt some of their power drain as L'iam channeled it into a small bush, causing it to flourish and bloom.
"aor you can take energy away."
The bush withered, returning the power to L'iam and Adesina.
"This is only the beginning, you understand. A L'avan's ability is only as limited as their creativity."
He carefully returned the bush to its original state before continuing.
"Close your eyes," he instructed.
As she obeyed, the limitations of her physical vision dropped away and the universe opened up to her. She felt an understanding and belonging that she never could have imagined, and she suddenly believed that all things were possible.
Her teacher spoke in a low voice. "This is the world of the L'avan. Few are able to see it as clearly as you do right now, but we are all a part of it."