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It was the sight of that fear that kept Adesina from obliterating him on the spot. She reigned in her vyala, and spoke a single, hate-filled word.
"Leave."
Kendan was only too happy to comply. He signaled to the s.h.i.+mat surrounding them, and they silently melted into the shadows of the trees.
Basha was torn between her desire to attack and her compulsion to obey. The latter finally won out, leaving Kendan standing alone with the L'avan.
He gazed at her a moment longer before tearing his eyes away and turning his back on them.
Adesina sobbed into the s.h.i.+mmering white fabric of E'rian's dress.
They sat in the Garden beneath a large willow tree. A weeping tree. E'rian clasped her daughter close, stroking her hair and whispering words of comfort.
It was several minutes before Adesina could speak. "I do not know what to do," she said brokenly.
Her mother's arms tightened around her. "About what, love?"
"I do not know how to get into the s.h.i.+mat fortress without Kendan's help. I do not have enough information, and this mission cannot succeed now! They have my father, and he is going to die there."
A sad smile touched E'rian's lips. "You have prepared for every situation, Ma'eve. You can figure out how to succeed."
She shook her head. "I cannot lead this group up against the entire s.h.i.+mat order."
"You are not leading an attack against the fortress, dearest. You are finding the L'avan prisoners and setting them free."
When her daughter refused to be consoled, she asked quietly, "What is really troubling you?"
Adesina was reluctant to admit the cause of the sharp aching in her heart. Why else had she come to her mother, though?
"IaI loved him."
She frowned. "Kendan?"
Her daughter nodded, a fresh torrent of tears coming over her. "I thought he loved me too, but he was just using me."
Understanding filled E'rian with sorrow for her child's young heart. She was already much too old for her age, why must this burden be placed on her slender shoulders as well?
"I am sorry, Ma'eve. I am truly sorry that you must feel such pain."
Adesina smiled bitterly. "Yet I must still feel it?"
She brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen across her daughter's face. "I cannot take the pain from you."
Adesina sat up straight, looking her in the face. "What can we do, then?"
E'rian gently stroked her daughter's hand. "I can hold you, child, and share in your pain. You can pour your heart out to me, and our shared sorrow can help you begin to heal."
Logically, it didn't make much sense to Adesina, but she still liked the idea of sharing her heartache with her mother. She allowed her mother to pull her close again and closed her eyes against the tears welling up there.
"Then," continued E'rian, "when our tears are spent, I will help you find the information you need to make this mission succeed."
"How?" whispered Adesina.
Her mother's tone became one of grim determination. "We will find those who know the s.h.i.+mat fortress, and convince them to share that knowledge."
Adesina nodded slowly. It was the only reasonable option they had at this point. Every day was taking them closer to the fortress, and they needed a new plan. Time was running out.
Kendan and Signe stood in the Sharifal's tent, quite a distance away from where the encounter with the L'avan took place.
Some people shouted or threw things when they were angry, but not Signe. She became very still, like a block of ice. Her voice was quiet, but cold and biting.
"You said she was in love with you."
Kendan felt his chest constrict painfully. "She was," he insisted softly. "She is."
"Obviously not," Signe snapped, "because she chose to go with the L'avan."
Again, the pain in his heart returned. Part of him agreed with what Signe said. How could she have left him like that?
The Sharifal did not look at her nephew. Her eyes were fixed on the subtle design in the fabric of the tent. "You were a.s.signed as her Shar for one purpose alone: to created an emotional bond that would tie her to us permanently. Now we have lost our most valuable weapon. Seventeen years of research, training, and experimentation are lost."
"She-" Kendan cut himself off abruptly.
Signe turned for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. "What?" she asked in a deadly tone.
He knew he shouldn't go on, but couldn't help himself. "She is more that just a weapon. She is a person with integrity and honor. Perhaps if we had treated her as such she would not have betrayed us."
His aunt sneered at him mockingly. "How precious. You have fallen in love with her."
He started to deny it, but he realized that it was the truth. When Signe saw he had nothing to say, she got so close he could feel her hot breath on his face.
"Little good it does us now that she has turned her back on you. She spent a year with you, day and night, and then all that time while she was in the High City. Yet after a few weeks with the L'avan, she has forgotten you."
The words were meant to hurt Kendan, and they did. His stomach dropped and his throat strained as he struggled to control his emotions. He had never had trouble with self-control before he met Adesina. It was only after he began teaching her that he discovered how quickly a heart could be lost.
Signe read his face as easily as she read the reports given to her daily. Her derision for her nephew grew with what she saw there.
"You should have followed my orders, Kendan. Mistakes such as this cannot be tolerated in the s.h.i.+mat order."
He only shook his head. Signe had suggested more extreme measures to tie Adesina to himself, and he had begun his a.s.signment with no qualms. He had been immediately struck by her exotic beauty, and admitted to himself that he had looked forward to following the orders given to him.
However, as their relations.h.i.+p grew and Kendan fell in love with her, he began to have misgivings. Deep down he knew that everything between them had been built upon lies. He had determined to start fresh, making her truly his this time.
Then she had disappeared.
Kendan had scoured the lands looking for her, pulling together all of his resources and devoting all of his energy to it. He had only discovered her whereabouts when Basha had contacted him, also informing him that she had turned against the order.
He hadn't believed it at first, knowing the depth of Adesina's loyalty. Regardless, Kendan a.s.sured himself that it didn't matter. He had intended to convince her to run away with him. With their skills combined, no one would have ever been able to find them.
Kendan had not even gotten the chance to really talk to Adesina, thanks to Basha's interference. Instead, he had been forced to say the words that were expected of him, rather than the ones in his heart.
He had seen the heartbreak in her eyes, and he knew she would never forgive him for what he had done.
While all this was going through Kendan's mind, Signe grew tired of his silent musings. She moved away from him, gesturing impatiently. "Did you at least discover their intended destination?"
He ducked his head in shame. "No, Sharifal."
She sat at her makes.h.i.+ft desk, surveying him in contempt. "I am surprised you found the courage to return to my presence in such disgrace."
Kendan kept his eyes on the ground, not wanting her to see how little he cared right now. He heard her irritated sigh and the shuffling of parchment.
"I shall send a team to track them. In the meantime, our plan goes forward as before."
He nodded, even though his stomach clenched in anxiety.
The Sharifal turned her attention away from her nephew. "You are dismissed."
Kendan felt the weight of sorrow on his shoulders, but bowed obediently. He then turned and walked out of the Sharifal's tent.
Chapter Thirty-nine: Prisoners.
Me'shan laid on his back on the cold stone floor of his cell, gasping for breath. The new pains inflicted on him from the guards overrode all of the old wounds that had never healed. Tears streamed out of the corners of his eyes and he whispered L'avan prayers, searching for some source of relief.
When the sound of footsteps reached his ear, he could not find the willpower to react. He closed his eyes and simply laid there, hoping that death would come to him soon.
Looking through the slits of his eyes, he could see the door opened and four guards entered the room, followed by a gray haired man who occasionally questioned Me'shan. He glanced over at the huddled form of the L'avan and nodded to one of his bodyguards. The man walked over and nudged Me'shan with his foot.
Me'shan remained still, praying that they would leave him alone.
"The guards gave him a pretty severe beating, sir. He is probably unconscious."
"But is he alive?" he asked sharply.
Fingers were pressed to the pulse in Me'shan's neck. "Yes, he is alive."
The gray haired man waved a hand carelessly. "Then leave him."
The guard walked away and returned to his place at the man's side. He turned his icy gaze to Me'shan's fellow prisoner.
"Well, what have you to say?"
Faryl cringed away from the man speaking to her. "Please, Breyen! I did not betray the order, I just wanted a life of my own."
Breyen drew his hand back and struck her with all of his strength. "You would not have a life at all if it were not for me!"
She shook her head, staring at the ground. "That does not mean that I belong to you."
He crossed his arms. "What the s.h.i.+mat give, the s.h.i.+mat can take away."
Breyen nodded to his guards and two of them moved toward the prisoner. One of them held her up while the other beat her again and again.
Me'shan shed a tear for every cry that sounded from her frail throat. He wanted to get to his feet and fight them, but he had no strength left.
The guards only stopped when Breyen held up a hand. They dropped Faryl, and she stayed still, weeping brokenly.
"I want you to tell me everything. How you escaped, how you evaded us for so long, who you talked to, what you learned. Everything."
When Faryl didn't respond, he leaned forward, lowering his voice to a deadly whisper. "When an experiment fails, the s.h.i.+mat cut their losses. I can erase you with as much pleasure as I brought you into being."
She still didn't respond, and he straightened slowly. "I will give you until tomorrow to think about it."
With that, Breyen walked out of the cell, motioning for his bodyguards to follow. The door slammed shut and echoed throughout the dungeon. The light and footsteps faded away, leaving Me'shan to ponder what he had heard.
Gathering all of his strength, he crawled over to where she lay sobbing and placed a empathetic hand on her shoulder. "Do you know any songs?"
Her reflexes jerked away from his touch, but she calmed when she remembered that she was not alone in her prison. "I thought you were unconscious."
He smiled to the darkness. "I thought it best to act as if I were."
Faryl's voice trembled. "So, you heard everything."
"Yes."
"I am not one of them," she insisted quietly. "I cannot help how I was born."
"Do you know any songs?" he asked again. "Happy ones."
She paused in confusion at his question. "I used to."
Me'shan reached over and took her hand. "Sing them. It will help with the pain."
He felt her shaking her head. "I do not think I could sing right now."
He nodded in understanding, but encouraged her anyway. "It does not have to be loud or beautiful. You do not even have to vocalize the music. Listen to it in your mind, and it will comfort you."
Faryl sighed heavily. "I cannot hear it."