Pet Peeve Part 48

They pa.s.sed a man walking the other way. He paused, glancing at Goody. "You look glum, goblin."

"And you look stupid, bleephead," the parody said.

Goody hastily explained about the peeve. "So you see, I am beginning to doubt I can ever find a home for it. That makes it hard to smile."

"I can make you smile," the man said.

"Oh, are you looking for a pet bird?"

"By no means. It's my talent: making folk smile." He focused on Goody.

Goody smiled so broadly he was afraid his face was stretching out of bounds. But he didn't feel any better.

"You're so handsome when you smile," Gwenny said, kissing his cheek. Then he felt better.

They came to a lake. A fin projected from the water as something forged toward them. "A loan shark!" Gwenny said, alarmed.

Roland's head whirred as he sorted his database. "This is not a shark fin," he said. "It is a doll fin."

The water creature lifted its nose from the water. "Indeed, I am the smartest of water creatures," it said.

"The smartest Alec," the peeve said.

"But I don't believe I have seen a talking green parody or a barbarian robot before."

"The bird is one of a kind," Goody said.

"And Roland is the first of his kind," Hannah said. "But maybe not the last."

"A talking fish and a talking bird," Gwenny said sourly.

"That is a popular misconception," the water creature said. "I am not a fish."

"And what's this? A fiddle?" She drew it out.

Goody was taken aback. This was unlike her.

Gwenny put the violin to her chin and plied the bow. Lovely music came forth. She played an archaic melody, then paused. "Well, at least it's in tune."

"Thank you," Roland said.

"But Gwenny, you can't play a tune," Goody said.

"That ain't Gwenny, stupe," the parody said.

Gwenny focused on the bird. "Shut your beak."

But Goody already had the hint. "Morgan!" he said, horrified.

"The great light dawns," she said sarcastically. "You denied me Helen, and you inflicted the rattletrap robot on me. Now I shall make you pay."

"Now I recognize her att.i.tude," Hannah said. "Don't let her stay. She's not nice."

"Thank you for that perceptive a.n.a.lysis, hussy."

"Gwenny!" Goody said. "That's Morgan le Fay, the Mundane sorceress. She can't control you directly. All she can do is make you think you want to do something. If you know it's not your own wish, you retain control. Don't let her run your body."

A flash of Gwenny showed. "That explains it! I couldn't understand why I was suddenly so cynical, or how I could play the violin."

"Neither do you have a magic talent, as I do. But you know you want to do my will," Morgan said. "It's like an itch: you can't rest until you scratch it. You may fight if you choose, but the end is certain."

"No, it isn't!" Goody said. "You can throw her off, Gwenny, if you try hard enough."

"But you don't want to try, dear," Morgan said. "Do you?" you?"

There was a visible internal struggle. Then Gwenny spoke. "I do-do-oh Goody, I no longer want to. I'm so sorry."

Goody turned to Hannah and Roland in dawning despair. "What can we do? Morgan is inside inside her." her."

Roland's head whirred. "There is a way." He ran forward with surprising speed, picked Gwenny up, and ran up the path with her.

"Good riddance, harridan!" the parody cried.

"What's he doing?" Goody asked, newly alarmed. "I don't think he can kiss Morgan away, as he did with you; she knows that's no permanent relations.h.i.+p."

"I don't know, but I trust him," Hannah said. "I know he loves only me. Gwenny didn't sneeze on his program."

Then Roland came speeding back without Gwenny. "She is free for the moment, but it may not last."

"What did you do?" Hannah asked.

"I moved her rapidly. My data bank says that a spiritual force takes time to fully occupy a living body. If that body moves, the spirit gets left behind, and must reorient. My information does not specify how long reorientation takes."

"So she'll have to keep moving," Goody said. "But what about when she sleeps?"

"I can transport her as she sleeps," Roland said. "I do not require sleep myself, though I am satisfied to emulate it if my love desires it."

"There won't be much desire if you can never stop carrying another woman around," Hannah said, not entirely pleased.

"I will desist if that is your preference, inamorata."

"No, keep her moving. But we need to find a better way."

"Then I should move her again. Perhaps we can ascertain how long reorientation takes." He dashed off.

"Roland is more useful than I expected," Goody said.

"He is a barbarian of many qualities. It's amazing what a difference a program makes."

"And a rod," the parody said, chortling evilly.

Com Pewter had set up the program. Pewter had a lot of quirky information.

They proceeded along the path. Soon Roland came back, carrying Gwenny. He set her down before them.

"She's gone," Gwenny said. "Roland explained about the motion. But I'm nervous that she will find me again. I don't like her notions."

"I don't like anyone else's notions in you," Goody said.

"Thank you." She kissed him. "I must move."

"And they call birds flighty," the parody said.

Roland picked her up and ran back the way they had come. "Should we follow?" Hannah asked.

"No. We don't want to be predictable. Let's continue forward, hoping to find some better solution. Roland will surely catch up to us in due course."

"Good thinking." They moved on.

Something came bounding toward them, flipping over in air and turning handsprings. It paused before them. It was a man in athletic clothing. "h.e.l.lo. I am Jim Nastic. I am very acrobatic." He bounded on.

"I don't want to be unduly critical," Hannah said. "But it seems to me that we're not making much progress on either placing the bird or saving Gwenny from the evil sorceress. I think we need another approach."

"I agree! But with Gwenny in danger, I can't think straight."

She nodded. "You have a good mind when you focus it. What about this: we settle down for a while, let Morgan catch up to Gwenny, and persuade her that she doesn't want Gwenny's body. Maybe she'll go away, as she did with me."

"I can't think well enough right now to know whether that's a good idea."

"Maybe I can handle it, while you observe and consider. If I can't make her go away, maybe you can."

Goody shrugged. "I hope you can do it, because I have no confidence that I can."

She picked him up and kissed him. "You do have ability. You just need that confidence. I'll take it from here, for a while. Meanwhile you try thinking outside the box. You're good at that."

"Thank you," Goody said faintly.

They pa.s.sed another man. "h.e.l.lo," Hannah said. "We are looking for a home for this disreputable bird."

"Watch your tongue, minx!"

The man shook his head. "I'm no good with birds. My talent is making sleeping dogs tell the truth."

"Isn't that somewhat pointless?"

"It's better than letting them lie." He walked on.

"I think I walked into that one," Hannah said.

"I would have done the same."

They came to a woman sitting beside the path. "h.e.l.lo," Hannah said. "Are you interested in adopting a fowl-mouthed bird?"

"I'm not sure," the woman said. "h.e.l.lo. I'm Lenora. My talent is making people feel guilty. I'm not sure it works on birds."

"Nothing works on me, you dowdy chippy."

"I see what you mean," Lenora said.

But it was working on Goody. He felt guilty for even asking.

"I apologize for bothering you," Hannah said. "I shouldn't have."

"No, that's my talent. You had every right to ask. But you'll feel guilty as long as you're near me."

Hannah glanced at Goody. "Do you think the Sorceress would be affected?"

"But Gwenny would be affected too, and she couldn't stay near Lenora all the time."

"True." Hannah faced the woman. "Thank you for your time. We'll be moving on now."

"Of course," the woman said sadly. Goody felt so guilty about leaving her.

The robot zoomed toward them, carrying Gwenny. Hannah flagged him down. "Pause a while," she said. "We have something to try."

"That's a relief," Gwenny said. She looked somewhat windblown. "Do you have a solution?"

"Maybe. I want to talk to the Sorceress, while Goody observes and ponders some better way. If I can't do it, maybe he can."

Gwenny went to him and kissed him. "I have confidence in you. But I don't want to kiss you when Morgan is with me. She would make it seem dirty or calculated."

"It is is calculated, gamine," the parody said. calculated, gamine," the parody said.

"Yes, but it doesn't seem seem so," Gwenny said with much of a weak smile. so," Gwenny said with much of a weak smile.

"When the Sorceress comes," Hannah said, "put up some token resistance, but then let her have her way. Save your strength for when you really need to stop her."

"I'll try," Gwenny said. "But the way she instills urges-I hate it, but I do start to want it."

"If my idea doesn't work, Roland can carry you away again. This is just an exploration. With luck it will work."

They were walking slowly. They came to an intersection of paths. Nearby was a store in the shape of a giant chain link. Another link was connected to it, and another; there were several of them. "A chain store!" Gwenny said, thrilled. "Let's buy a chain."

They went to the nearest store and bought a chain, using little copper disks that Gwenny had. It seemed that such things were used in stores. The chain was more like a delicate bracelet that she wore with pride.

"Civilized girls like baubles," Hannah murmured.

So it seemed.