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Lee looked at it, puzzled. "That's what that is?"
Of course, he had never seen it. "Yeah, that's it. What book is that?"
Lee flipped it over. "If I'm reading this right, Principles of Alchemical Artifacts and Unnatural Philosophy. Principles of Alchemical Artifacts and Unnatural Philosophy. It has stuff about teleportation, animating corpses, alternate dimensions, immortality potions, that kind of thing...It was written by somebody named Konrad Dippel." It has stuff about teleportation, animating corpses, alternate dimensions, immortality potions, that kind of thing...It was written by somebody named Konrad Dippel."
That name rang a bell.
Julie might have been in a state of shock, but she was also our best historian. "He was an alchemist, one of the really talented ones, a peer of Isaac Newton. It's possible that he would know how to make this teleportation thing work, if we could just decipher his notes."
"That's just awesome trivia, but it doesn't help us save Earl," Sam spat. "Sorry, Z, I appreciate what you're doing. Futile n.o.ble gesture, man, but I can't stomach letting you do this on your own."
"I know, Sam. If we're lucky the Feds' tracking device will work and you can come avenge me." I grimaced. I had to hang in there; everybody here needed me to stay tough. I couldn't break down yet. "Wait a second." I raised one hand. That disturbed Milo, who was busy shoving road flares in every pouch on my back. "Why's that name familiar? Dippel?"
Julie thought about it for a moment. "Well...Dippel's experiments on cadavers were carried out at the castle with the same name as the doctor in the book. A lot of people think he's the man who inspired Mary Sh.e.l.ley."
"Who?" asked Holly.
"The woman who wrote Frankenstein," Trip answered.
It clicked.
"Get Agent Franks."
We located Franks at the hangar where the Fed choppers were currently parked. The MCB had taken over the building and turned it into their command post. This p.i.s.sed off a lot of Hunters, but the Feds played by their own rules and we were in no shape to argue. The main doors were open and I barged directly past the guards there. One of them moved to stop me.
"I need to see Agent Franks."
He automatically looked back into the open s.p.a.ce. A twenty-foot-wide white tent had been put just inside the hangar door. There were figures moving around on the other side of the thin fabric. "I'll have to check."
A voice came through the fabric. "Let them in." Myers appeared around the corner of the tent. "How are you feeling?" he asked awkwardly. Knowing that I was ready to kick the bucket any minute had at least made him slightly humble.
"Oh, I'm just peachy. Thanks for asking." The dead automatons had been stacked neatly on the hangar floor in rows. Multiple agents were ripping them apart, looking for clues. "Where's Franks?"
Myers studied me for a moment. "He said you knew..." Then he glanced at the half-dozen or so Hunters standing behind me. "They wait here." Julie stepped up to my side. She didn't need to say a word as she gave Myers a look of utter coldness. He nodded once, understanding that she wasn't ready to leave me yet. "Fine, but what you're about to see is cla.s.sified way beyond top secret. You have to take this to the grave with you."
"At least that won't take me long!" I exclaimed sarcastically. Julie visibly flinched. It made me feel guilty.
We followed Myers into the hospital tent. Several gowned and masked individuals were cl.u.s.tered over an operating table. Around them were beeping machines and a cart with various clean red organs stacked on it. The medical team parted as I approached. Franks was on the table. Myers had to look away.
The big man was a mess. His chest was cracked wide, held open with some sort of stainless steel device. A doctor stepped back, holding what appeared to be a damaged lung. Shockingly enough, Franks was awake and propped up on pillows. The fact that I could see his internal organs didn't seem to bug him any.
He slowly turned, eyes lingering on the bandage encircling my left hand. "Looks like I failed."
"Yeah, you did," I responded. "But let's make it count for something."
Franks dipped his head slightly. That was probably the closest thing he'd ever made to an apology.
"I need someone to help Lee and Esmeralda figure out how to reactivate Hood's teleportation device. We have a book that talks about that kind of device, written by somebody named Dippel. I have a feeling that you know something about his work."
The big man closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, I could see that they were still different colors, the blue one probably donated by some poor sucker from the concert. "Know his work? I am am his work." Franks then addressed the doctor. "Wrap it up." his work." Franks then addressed the doctor. "Wrap it up."
"But, sir, you still need another kidney, and you've also sustained damage to several major muscle groups. We need more time."
Franks looked at my hand again. He knew we were out of time. "Start stapling." The medical team complied immediately. Before they folded his chest closed, I noted that his physiology diverged wildly from anything I had ever seen in a biology textbook. There appeared to be extra organs and his ribcage was more of a hardened plate with flexible bits than separate bones. It was seriously weird. Franks caught me staring. "The taxpayers paid for some upgrades."
"So that's what you are..." Julie said. "You're Frankenstein's Monster."
"More than that," Franks snorted. "I hate hate that book. I'm no whiner." that book. I'm no whiner."
I glanced at my watch. I had about forty minutes before I had to be back to the village. "Do you know anything about the magic teleportation rope?"
"No. But I understand his writings. Had to figure them out to stay alive. Good alchemist...Terrible father."
"It looks like he might have been the guy who built our ward stone too."
"Hmmm..." Franks frowned. That had thrown him off. "I didn't recognize it. I remember all the doctor's codes...Even the offensive ones." His thick brow furrowed in thought as the medical team literally screwed his chest together with terrible cracking noises. My already-nauseous stomach threatened to empty. "Sir, I have an idea."
Myers looked up from his corner. He was holding a handkerchief over his mouth. "You can't be serious."
"What are you thinking?" Julie asked. "Is there a magical way to save Owen?"
Franks' face was impa.s.sive as he squashed Julie's hope. "Nothing I know can help Pitt."
"I know what you're getting at..." Myers stepped forward, surprised. "The wards were manufactured as focal points of reality, deadly to other dimensional creatures. Isaac Newton and the alchemists created them to protect mankind from the Old Ones and..." He trailed off. "Are you saying what I think you're saying, Agent?"
"A ward is a s.h.i.+eld and and a sword," Franks said simply. a sword," Franks said simply.
Whatever he was suggesting rocked Myers, the man who had once ordered a nuclear bomb dropped on Alabama. "That could disband all cohesion!"
"Exactly," Franks responded. Whatever the h.e.l.l that meant. Slowly he raised one big hand and held it out to me. "I can avenge you."
I shook his hand. He was unbelievably strong. "Kill them all."
Less than thirty minutes left.
Franks, Lee, and Esmeralda were working on the magic rope. MHI and the Feds were surrounding the village just in case. I had just enough time to make a few final preparations. I was strapping on every weapon in my a.r.s.enal when Milo lifted one final item from the table.
"This one is exactly like the one we used earlier when I fried Hood's b.u.t.t," he explained as he pushed the sack into my hands. "You know those nasty little things kids use on the Fourth of July, the little hockey pucks that flash like a strobe light and hurt your eyes? Think of this as one of those on steroids from h.e.l.l, only angrier angrier. Don't look at it directly, or you will will go blind. Well, it is pretty close to what we used earlier, so there should be about a twenty-second flash, but I was kind of surprised that one was actually a controlled burn and didn't just explode and roast us." go blind. Well, it is pretty close to what we used earlier, so there should be about a twenty-second flash, but I was kind of surprised that one was actually a controlled burn and didn't just explode and roast us."
That made me feel particularly safe as I put the satchel over my armor.
Milo paused awkwardly. Then he hugged me. He patted me on the back a few times before breaking away. He looked like he was going to cry. "I'll go get the rest of your gear."
"Yeah, thanks, man."
Julie and I walked into the hall. My mind was reeling. This was the end.
"You okay?" I asked. It was an idiotic question.
"Of course not," she answered. "But it is what it is."
We stood there for a few seconds, huddled together in silence, which is an eternity when your remaining life is measured in minutes. But we were Monster Hunters. It wasn't like either of us hadn't ever thought about this before. I had always figured it would have been sudden though, with no time for long good-byes. This was much harder.
"There's something I have to tell you," I said softly. "In Mexico, when I talked to your mother, she warned me about the mark on your neck." Julie stiffened against me. "She said that it was going to kill you eventually. I didn't say anything because I was scared and I thought that she was just lying to us again...But with what happened last night..." I couldn't help but think about the three new marks. There was something terribly wrong, and I wasn't going to be around to help her through it.
Julie gave me a pathetic smile. "You've got other stuff to worry about right now, Owen. I'll take care of it."
I knew she would. Julie was strong, far stronger than me. No matter what happened, she would always find a way. That was just her nature. The year that I had known her had been the best year of my life, and I had somehow believed that it would go on like that forever. I held her tight as my heart ached.
Unable to contain it any longer, Julie began to sob. "I'd trade with you if I could."
"I know..."
In a little while, I would be dead and she would be alone, but I knew that she would survive. She would get on with her life without me, and someday, she would be happy again.
And knowing that gave me the strength to go on.
It was time.
Hunters were standing in a line down the hallway to see me off. Everyone was somber. Julie's grandfather saluted me with his hook. "Good luck, Hunter." I paused in front of the memorial wall. I was going to have a plaque up there soon.
s.h.i.+t. I didn't want to die. I wasn't ready to have a plaque yet. This wasn't air air. I tried to think of something memorable to say, but didn't have the words. "Thanks, everybody. I'll try not to let you down." It was stupid, but it would have to do.
My mom came out of nowhere and intercepted me. She almost took me down in a tackle. She was totally hysterical, and her accent was extra thick when she was this freaked out. "What are you doing?" She pointed at my shotgun. "Where are you going with your Abominator?"
"Abomination," I corrected her. "Never mind. Look, Mom, I've got to go after Mosh. It's me for him."
"They told me you're dying, that something poison bit you. Why can't we go to the hospital?"
"It doesn't work like that, Mom. I have to do this."
She wouldn't let go of my arm. "No! Owen, please." Hysterical tears streamed down her cheeks. "No, son, please, no."
I wasn't tough enough to do this. I grabbed my mom by the shoulders. "Listen. I'm doing what I have to do. If I had any other option, I would be doing that instead. I'm already dead, but Mosh isn't. I'm going to get him back."
Then Dad was there. He took Mom in his arms and guided her away. He studied me while Mom screamed and thumped her fists into his chest.
"I'm sorry, Dad," I said.
"Don't worry. It isn't your time yet."
He was delusional because of that stupid letter. But at least he was calm while he kept Mom restrained. "I love you, Dad. I love you, Mom."
"We'll talk about it when you get back. Bring your brother home."
"I will," I promised. I just wouldn't be with him.
There was a grumbling noise off to the side. Gretchen was standing there, a tiny black shape squished between the hulking Hunters. Her totem stick was in hand, dangling feathers, beads, and small animal skulls. I had no idea why she wasn't with her people in their time of need. She spoke directly to Julie. It must have been something too complicated for Gretchen's poor English.
"Gretchen says we're part of the clan too..." Julie seemed puzzled, trying to keep up with the rapid-fire Orcish. She actually gave a very sad little smile. "Thank you, honey. That's really sweet."
"What's she saying?" I asked.
Gretchen switched to English. "Marry." She shook her totem stick. "Marry. Sad to die...alone." She reached into her burkha and pulled out a sheet of paper. She unfolded it. The notarized letter bore the state seal and declared that Gretchen F. Skippywife was an ordained minister in the state of Alabama.
"She's offering her services as a priestess of Gnrlwz Gnrlwz," Julie nearly choked trying to say it correctly, "the orc G.o.d of war, to perform a wedding before you go." It took me a moment to digest. It was so absurd, so sudden, that despite everything else, all the fear, antic.i.p.ation, and dread, I actually laughed. Julie started to giggle along with me. "You want to?"
It was just the kind of thing that Monster Hunters would do. Even when death was staring us right in the face, we'd still give him the finger. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."
Julie shrugged. "Well, this isn't how I imagined it at all...Do your thing, Gretchen. Grandpa, would you do the honors of giving me away?"
The old man stepped up, proud of his granddaughter. "Of course. And I was worried I'd have to wear a tux for this..."
The Hunters gathered around us in a circle, seemingly just as surprised as I was. Gretchen hissed and the crowd fell silent. Trip stood just behind me and off to the side, appointing himself as my best man. Holly, apparently, was Julie's maid of honor, only instead of flowers, she had a.308 Vepr carbine.
Ironically, this was the spot where we'd shared our first kiss, right under a Latin phrase warning about the dangers of fleeting glory.
Gretchen had us get on our knees in front of the wall of memorial plaques. I took Julie's hand. This wasn't how I'd expected it either. My mom started to cry even harder and my dad put his big arm over her shoulder. Gretchen tapped us both on the forehead with her stick as she started grumbling something memorized and incomprehensible. She kept it brief. Orcs weren't big on ceremony.
I glanced over at Julie, she looked back at me, eyes s.h.i.+ning bright. I loved her. And that one split second was exactly exactly how I'd imagined it, and that made everything okay. how I'd imagined it, and that made everything okay.
Gretchen thumped me on the forehead with the stick. "Grok?"
"I do."
Gretchen thumped Julie. "Grok?"
She looked into my eyes. "I do."
Gretchen raised her stick high overhead and screamed her devotion to the G.o.d of war. It was actually almost musical. She slammed the tip of the short staff hard into the floor, the impact resonating through the entire hall. I think that was when she p.r.o.nounced us man and wife. She took the stick, pointed it at my nose, and gave me an order. I didn't understand a word that she was saying.
"She says that it is orcish tradition that the more you love your wife, the bigger the thing you need to kill for her as a wedding night offering," Julie translated. "She says Skippy killed a seventy-foot lindwyrm for her." Gretchen said more and Julie giggled again. "So she bore bore him many sons." him many sons."
And just like that, I was a married man. I couldn't kiss the bride, because I was infected by a zombie, but other than that, it was actually a pretty happy moment. One of the Hunters even thought to take a picture.
Somebody started clapping. The two of us made our way through the cheering crowd. Dorcas was at her desk. I had never seen her cry before. She blew her nose with a sound like a trumpet. "Congratulations, I guess. See you 'round, Z." I got outside before anyone could see me completely break down. A mess of other Hunters were going to follow us to the village to provide backup. There was a car waiting.
Trip and Holly were riding with us, of course. I held the door open for my new wife. Trip reached over and thumped me on the arm. Holly gently rested her hand on my shoulder. Trip put the car in gear and we headed for the village. "It's been an adventure, guys," I told my best friends.
"It isn't over 'til the fat lady sings," Holly stated.
"Why all the tears then?" I asked.
"I always cry at weddings."
I stood in the spot where the last teleportation effect had taken place and checked my watch. Hood better not be late. I wasn't feeling very well. My head had started throbbing in the car and wouldn't stop. Cold sweat was leaking from every pore.
The orc village was deserted. The tribe had retreated to the relative safety of the compound. A dozen Hunters had formed a perimeter around the village and were just waiting. MCB agents had ma.s.sed in force at the entrance.