The Phoenix Pack: Feral Sins Part 21

At exactly midnight Nick began to speak the ritual words that called to the full moon to bless the mating. She had been a witness at several of these ceremonies in the past and the intensity of the sacred event never failed to amaze her. Although the ritual words didn't hold any particular power and the ceremony was a case of the mates demonstrating to each other just how committed they were and wanting to celebrate that, the whole thing still gave her goose b.u.mps and stirred her wolf.

What affected Taryn most, however, was witnessing the succession of intense emotions that flittered across the mated pair's faces. To be loved, adored and wors.h.i.+pped like that by the person you loved in turn had to be the most amazing thing in the world. And it was something she would never have. She only ever experienced the tiniest twinge of jealousy. It was impossible not to be happy for those people who had found it. For a moment she wondered what it would be like to have that with Trey but quickly dismissed the dumb thought.

"What do you think they'll do?" he whispered into her ear.

She knew what he was asking. It was traditional that mates celebrated the ceremony by having s.e.x, and whereas most preferred to do so in the privacy of their home after the party, there were some who gave in to their exhibitionistic urges and had s.e.x beneath the full moon regardless of who may be there to watch.

She whispered her response. "Well, I only spoke to Lena a couple of times but she seems pretty shy so I can't see her wanting to get down and dirty with her mate in front of everyone. Then again, it's the quiet ones you have to look out for." Knowing how dominant and possessive his wolf was, she said, "I don't have to ask what you'd prefer."

"Oh?"

"You'd love the idea of everyone watching. You're quite the exhibitionist, even for a s.h.i.+fter."

Trey merely shrugged. "We all have our kinks. Want to know what I think? I think you'd like having people watch while I pin you down and f.u.c.k you."

Ignoring the flutter in her stomach, she replied, "Wishful thinking on your part, Trey."

"You'd like people seeing what a good girl you are for me, how well you take my c.o.c.k." And he'd love for others to see it. Not in this place around all these strange wolves he didn't know or trust, but he couldn't resist teasing her with the idea.

"Careful, you're at risk of disappearing into La La Land."

"So if I slipped my finger inside you right now, you wouldn't be wet?"

"Nope," she lied easily.

He inhaled deeply. "I can smell your arousal, Taryn. I can sense it. Just to be sure..."

Feeling his hand discretely snaked behind her she hissed, "Trey, don't you dare."

"Shh, be still. Unless you want everyone to turn and watch. I don't mind." He delved beneath her dress, slid her thong aside and slipped his finger inside her. He groaned as her muscles tightened around his finger. "Nice and wet, just like I knew you'd be."

"Remove your hand right now."

"This p.u.s.s.y is mine, remember. I get to play with it whenever I want."

"You -"

"Shh," he murmured again as he withdrew his finger and wrapped both arms around her middle again. "Do you really think I'd let down my guard around all these strange wolves when you're mine to protect? Now, on the other hand, if we'd been on our own territory surrounding by our own pack well then..." He let the sentence trail and smiled as he sensed her arousal spike. He knew she'd never admit that the idea turned her on.

"And so," said Nick, "do you, Robert, and you, Lena, enter this mating with your body, mind, heart and soul?"

"I do," they said in unison.

Nick then blessed the mating using a string of Latin words that Trey didn't have a hope of understanding. He couldn't help frowning as Lena kissed her mate before then biting his unmarked shoulder, branding him for all to see. The one thing that his own little mate had never done though she'd have every right considering how many d.a.m.n times he had done it to her was leave her brand on him. Although she had scratched him and nipped him plenty of times, she had never marked him. His wolf keenly felt the absence of that mark; he didn't understand why she hadn't branded him. Neither did Trey.

He knew that she wanted to, knew that her wolf was pus.h.i.+ng her to act on the basic urge to mark her male. Taryn's resistance had to be p.i.s.sing her wolf off and making her feel insecure in the mating. Yet, Taryn was fighting her. Much like he'd been fighting his own wolf from the beginning, he mused. So maybe he hadn't been the only one of them who had been battling emotions they didn't understand. Or maybe he had found his way into La La Land.

"I was right," whispered Taryn, "she's too shy to have an audience. Come on, let's eat, I'm starving."

Shoving his thoughts aside, Trey allowed her to lead him to the large table beneath the canopy where a huge feast was set out. Although the ceremonies were considered to be sacred and solemn, the after-party was always jubilant and lively the general plan being to dance, eat and get ridiculously drunk. Seen as neither he nor Taryn were particularly good at dancing, they stuck to stuffing their faces with food and gulping down plenty of beer though not too much considering Trey needed to drive them home.

He really didn't want to like these people who would soon take Taryn away from him or at least that was how he saw it but a part of him could admit that they seemed to be pretty okay people. If he was going to lose her to another pack then this was a fairly decent one for her to join. The only wolf he couldn't be too sure about was her uncle. The tall, bald guy had purposely avoided Trey the entire time they were there. Several times Taryn had tried to introduce him, but Don always managed to artfully dodge her. Trey didn't particularly care, though he didn't like that it was upsetting Taryn.

That meant that when the party ended at six in the morning and Don finally approached him while Taryn was saying goodbye to the pups, Trey really wasn't in the mood to take any s.h.i.+t. And of course Don happened to have some s.h.i.+t to throw at him.

"You seem fond of my niece," said Don, squinting, as he crossed his arms over his chest in a very confrontational posture. "And you're certainly possessive of her. Still, I'm not buying the true mate thing. Nor am I buying that you've mated with her because you care for her. Being fond of her and wanting her with you for life are two very different things. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that you got her away from her father who was a b.a.s.t.a.r.d to her. My issue is that I've heard all about your reputation, Coleman, and I promise you now if I find out you've got my niece involved in anything dangerous you'll have me to deal with."

Resisting the urge to grip him by the throat, Trey took a threatening step toward him and c.o.c.ked his head. It pleased his wolf when the other male backed up a little. "You know what p.i.s.ses me off most about what you just said? That you think you have the right to act the caring uncle now. Where were you when she was growing up? Like you just said, Lance was always a b.a.s.t.a.r.d to her and yet you left her there with him believing that there would never be a true mate to come along and take her away. You didn't even keep in touch with her, did you? No. So don't think you get to stand here and be all high and mighty with me or that being my mate's uncle will save you. Taryn might care about you, but I don't, and I sure as s.h.i.+t won't have anyone saying she's not my mate."

"You're right," he conceded, surprising Trey, "I wasn't there for her. I will be from here on out though. I want her to be happy. I want her to have the kind of mating you've seen tonight and I'm not sure you can give her that. I don't see how you'll bring anything to her life other than danger and trouble."

He was right of course and that only nettled Trey's agitated state. "As Taryn would say, if I wanted to hear from an a.s.s, I'd fart."

"Trey," said Taryn cautiously as she approached and took in the tension, "everything okay?" Slipping a slender arm between the two male bodies that were almost pressed together, she stroked Trey's chest.

"Fine, baby," he replied, using her closeness to calm him. "I'm just getting an idea of what it's like for you when you have to listen to my grandmother's s.h.i.+t."

Rolling her eyes and groaning, Taryn looked at Don. "I really hope you haven't just done the man-to-man talk when you've only been back in my life five minutes."

Don sighed. "That's pretty much what he just said. I just want you to be happy and -"

"Well I was until you put Trey in a bad mood."

"I know you, Taryn. Beneath that hard exterior you're not so different from your mom. You want kids and commitment and a happily ever after he can't give you that."

"If I was pining for the pitter patter of tiny little feet, I'd buy a kitten and put slippers on it. And what do you know about what Trey can or can't give me? You don't even know him."

"I know this mating isn't real -"

"Watch what you say," she snapped. Her wolf growled inside her head, just as incensed as she was by those words. A much louder growl was coming from Trey.

"You deserve better, you can have better plenty of wolves would be happy to mate with you. h.e.l.l, there are wolves here who'd be happy to mate with you."

Taryn wasn't in the least bit surprised when Trey's eyes flashed wolf and he made a move toward Don. Quickly she placed herself in front of him and wrapped both arms tightly around his waist. "It's okay, it's okay," she whispered. He halted but released a chilling growl.

Don was quieter as he said in a shaky voice, "He's not good for you."

"If that's how you feel then I guess we part here."

"Taryn -"

"No. We're leaving." Rubbing her chin on Trey's chest she said, "Come on, Flinstone, let's go." But his entire focus was on Don.

Don tried again. "Taryn, I -"

"I said no. You insulted my mate. If you were anyone else, I'd go for your throat. Now back off."

"Let them be, Don," ordered Nick who was walking up behind them. He nodded respectfully at Taryn and Trey.

"Thank you for inviting us, Nick," she said quietly. Pressing her body weight against Trey, she tried urging him to move. No effect, unsurprisingly. "Come on. Let's go home." The word 'home' seemed to penetrate his 'Must kill Don' haze because a little of the tension left his body and he gave her a very slight nod. Mute and Terminator-stiff, he walked her to the car and had them out of Nick's territory in seconds.

When minutes later he showed no signs of calming or becoming less robotic, she was tempted to try to talk to him. However, she somehow sensed that, for whatever reason, Trey needed to be alone with his thoughts right now. Going with that instinct, she turned her focus to the view ahead and said nothing.

Trey had thought that the further he got from that other pack the more he would calm. That just wasn't happening. Maybe it should have been Don's claim that Trey wasn't good for Taryn that was agitating him. Or maybe his claim that she wanted things that Trey couldn't give her. Or maybe even Don's suggestion that she stay with his pack and mate with another wolf. But no. As much as all that had seriously p.i.s.sed him off, it wasn't any of that that was responsible for his mood. What had him as annoyed as f.u.c.k right now was that Taryn had defended him.

No female other than his mother or Greta had ever defended him. Not only had Taryn done that, she had basically chosen him over her uncle. It p.i.s.sed him off that it meant something to him when it shouldn't have. What annoyed him more was that he couldn't be sure if that had been real or she had just been sticking with their true mate act. He tried telling himself that it didn't matter. Tried telling himself that it wasn't relevant, but it G.o.dd.a.m.n was to him.

He was sick of her doing things that touched him like that and then left him sitting there wondering if he was looking too deep into things or if she was having the same inner struggle as him.

Like the way she snapped if anyone questioned their mating as she had with Brodie and her uncle. Was it because her sense of possessiveness now ran bone deep just as his did, or was it just her wolf? Like how she held back from marking him. Was that because she was already finding it hard to remain detached, or was it only her wolf finding it hard? And like how she had repeatedly tried so hard to help him form so many alliances when he had never asked that of her. Was it because she cared for him in some way and wanted to help him, or was it that she just wanted to help the pack as a whole?

He didn't want to be going through this weird inner struggle on his own and, as idiotic as it was, he wanted her to care about him. Mostly because he was afraid that he just might care about her.

And so his bad mood remained with him throughout the long journey home and was still there hours later while he was sat on one of the chairs by the lake soaking up the midday sun. He knew Taryn wouldn't let him brood in peace much longer so it wasn't a surprise when he heard footsteps. Unfortunately it turned out that those footsteps didn't belong to Taryn.

"Hey," called out Dante in his usual gruff voice.

"What do you want?"

"Yes I will have a seat, thank you, Alpha."

"No one likes a smart a.s.s."

He took the chair opposite Trey's and straddled it. "I take it things didn't go well with her uncle."

Trey sighed. "Actually, he was happy to see her. All of them were pretty hospitable."

"Well I can understand why that might p.i.s.s you off since though you'll never admit it you don't want her to leave, and nor do you seem ready to face just why that might be. But I don't see why it would have Taryn all irritated."

He chose to ignore the first half of what Dante had said. "Her uncle didn't believe we were true mates, said the mating wasn't real."

Dante winced. "Ooh, yeah, that'll do it. She might know this mating's temporary, but she sure doesn't like anyone saying it's not real."

"He also said I was bad for her. Said I couldn't give her those things a woman wants. Then he suggested she stay there and mate with another wolf."

"p.r.i.c.k."

After a pause, Trey said, "She defended me, you know."

"Of course she did. You're her mate. Mates don't stand for that s.h.i.+t."

"Yeah. Her wolf wouldn't want anyone insulting her mate, would she."

Dante snickered. "You're one blind b.a.s.t.a.r.d."

"Blind?"

"Or maybe just dumb." Shaking his head, he looked away and sighed. When he looked at Trey again there was a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Well...I don't see what you've got to be p.i.s.sed about. Her uncle's an a.s.s, but he's right. You are bad for her. You can't give her the things a female wants because the mating's temporary. And, yeah, there's a good chance she'll go and mate with another wolf when she leaves." When Trey growled warningly Dante's face took on a superior, smug, know-it-all look. "You know, you could just ask her to stay for good."

At that moment, Trey hated him. Hated him for seeing far more than he should. Hated him for making Trey see exactly how much he wanted that which seriously scared the s.h.i.+t out of him. He hated his wolf too. Hated him for constantly fighting Trey over the idea of Taryn leaving, for being so unreasonably possessive of her. He also hated Tao for wanting Taryn, he hated the wolf she might one day mate with, and he hated her uncle for speaking the truth he'd been trying to ignore. Mostly, he hated his-f.u.c.king-self for caring about a female who didn't even care enough to mark him. "Why would I do that?"

"The two of you are good together. You actually laugh these days. You behave a lot like true mates do."

"Look, Dante, I'll admit I like her she's fun to have around and she knows what she's doing in the bedroom but it wouldn't have mattered if I hadn't liked her or if she was someone else, we still would have mated and f.u.c.ked. This is about a deal, that's all." Trey was aware that he'd sounded pretty harsh. He was also aware by the scent that suddenly flavored the air that Taryn had heard him. s.h.i.+t.

Taryn had been following Trey's scent, hoping to hunt him down and get him to stop brooding when she heard Dante's words: "You know, you could just ask her to stay for good." It was said that eavesdroppers tended to hear things they didn't like. In this case, the saying had proven to be true. It wasn't as though she'd thought things were any different than how Trey firmly stated to Dante, and it wasn't as though she'd thought he cared for her. Yet the effect was still like a hot lance slicing through her. Why? For the same reason that a dull pain had struck her chest and her windpipe had begun to ache...She loved Trey Coleman. The realization punched the breath from her lungs.

G.o.d, how horrible was this. She loved a guy to whom she was basically a faceless f.u.c.k. She could be anyone to him. In other words, she was no one and nothing to him. Her wolf who was already insecure in the mating due to not having marked Trey was tempted to curl up and whine. Taryn was tempted to punch the a.s.s right in the face. Overruling all that was an uncharacteristic urge to flee. To run far and fast. To get away from this person who had so much power over her. To find somewhere to be alone while she faced her pain.

As the conversation abruptly came to a halt and awkwardness filled the air, Taryn knew they had sensed her presence. There went the option of retreating as if she hadn't overheard. Although the urge to lunge at Trey was great, Taryn had been dealing with a.s.shole Alphas long enough to know that it was imperative that they didn't believe they had the power to hurt you. They would stomp all over you if they spotted a weakness, just like her dad and Roscoe. She couldn't afford for Trey to know that she felt anything for him.

Having pasted an easy smile on her face, she walked out of the trees and over to the patio table, examining Trey's cautious expression as well as Dante's apologetic one. "h.e.l.l, Dante, was it really necessary to needle him when he was already in a bad mood?" she said playfully.

"I, um, we just -"

She rolled her eyes and waved away his attempt to explain himself. "I just came to see if Trey had stopped with the whole brooding thing, but I see he hasn't so I'll leave him to sulk some more."

Feeling like absolute s.h.i.+t, Trey said, "Taryn, wait -"

"I promised Shaya I'd call her so I'll see you guys later."

"Taryn, wait." He reached out and caged her wrist with his hand but when he tried tugging her to him she shook him off like he was a spider.

"I said I'll see you later."

"Look, what I said..." Words completely failed him because, as he'd told her before, he wasn't good with apologies. He wasn't good with words at all.

"Trey, it doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does." It especially mattered because he could sense her hurt, could feel it.

"You only said the truth. It wasn't anything I didn't already know."

Trey growled, p.i.s.sed at himself for saying dumb s.h.i.+t and p.i.s.sed at her for walking away from him. "Taryn?" His call went unanswered.

Dante sighed. "You f.u.c.ked that one up."

For the rest of the day, Taryn kept herself thoroughly occupied. She called Shaya. She went shopping with Grace for groceries. She did a run around the border of pack territory. She showered. She did some laundry. She beat Trick's a.s.s at Mario Kart. h.e.l.l, she even watched a T.V. program about knitting with Greta during which they engaged in a battle of wills. Anything so that she didn't have to think about Trey or what he'd said or, more importantly, the fact that she...cared about him. She wouldn't say the L word. It was officially banned from her vocabulary.

She had tried real hard throughout the evening meal to appear normal, but she was pretty sure that no one had bought it because the guys had crowded around her supportively while shooting scowls at Trey. Still she had persisted with the act. When Trey had spoken to her, she had talked to him and when he had pulled her onto his lap, she had let him. There had been a sort of desperation in the way he held her so tightly yet gently. Like the way a person would try to hold a b.u.t.terfly careful because it was small and delicate but on-guard because it was flighty. None of his touches were seductive or teasing. All were soft and soothing, kind of apologetic. But it didn't ease her hurt or make her relax. How could she be relaxed by the touch of a guy she...cared for when to him she could be anyone?

After the meal Taryn had done as she usually did she lay down on what was, hands down, the most comfortable sofa in the world to watch some T.V. When it had reached the time when she normally went to bed, she hadn't been able to move.

Maybe it was dumb that she had originally thought that if she just had a little time physically away from him she could somehow build some mental walls that would freeze him out again. Could freeze out the pain. But even as she lay there reminding herself that none of this was real, that Trey wasn't important, that soon her part of the deal would be over, another part of her was considering just flipping him the finger and leaving. She wasn't sure she could bear being around him every day knowing he thought so little of her.

Then she took in the wolves in the room and realized that she couldn't run. This whole thing was about more than just Trey. They didn't deserve to suffer just because of one a.s.shole. She had always dealt with a.s.sholes. What was one more to throw into the mix? He wouldn't even be the first a.s.shole who she cared about who felt nothing for her.

Still, even though the constricting sensation around her chest seemed to ease, she knew there was no way she could lay beside him tonight knowing that he would snuggle into her and then try to bring her to o.r.g.a.s.m as she woke. Not tonight. Tonight was a night for rebuilding her walls, and to do that she needed distance. So instead of saying her goodnights and making her way to bed, she let her eyes drift shut and took comfort in the scents and voices around her until they lulled her to sleep.