A Wife's Cry Chapter 15

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I almost threw my cellphone in frustration!

This is my 5th attempt this morning, but I still can't reach him. What's the sense of buying me a new cellphone and SIM card if he will not be answering my calls and messages? It won't be long until I lose my sanity here.

I wiped the tears on my cheeks and tried to be calm. Ugh, I don't want to do this but I have no choice. He's the only one who could give answers to my questions and enlighten me. I searched for his number in my address book and immediately dialed it. Come what may!

What I'm about to do is a bit awkward, because reality check, I'm not really in good terms with him. It's not that we're not in good vibrations or something, it's just that we're not in the same wavelength. I don't know how to approach him. On the fourth ring, he finally answered. I sighed deeply before I spoke. He couldn't know that I have been crying.

“h.e.l.lo. Dad?”

He wasn't speaking. Maybe the line was having technical problems that he couldn't hear me clearly, so I said 'h.e.l.lo' one more time.

“Vanessa? Is that you?” At last, he answered. It wasn't surprising, though, that he didn't recognize me right away because I changed my number and I haven't informed him and Mom yet.

“Y-yes.” I briefly answered.

“Hi! How are you? Whose number are you using?”

“Mine. Dad, where are you? Are you still in Barcelona?”

“Ah, yes. Why? Do you want me to buy something for you?"

I briskly stroked on my forehead. No, I don't want anything else but find my missing husband.

“I-is Allen with you?” I explicitly and directly asked.

It took a while before he actually responded and I don't know what took him long, thinking that I have just asked a simple question – I just wanted to know if my husband's still with him. I know that they went to Barcelona together and will be working hand in hand on some business matters there. That's what Allen told me before he left.

“Allen?” I could sense wondering from my father's voice. “I thought he already left for Manila? Hasn't he arrived there yet?”

I s.h.i.+vered.
I felt strange – a different kind of doubt and fear. I didn't expect to get such kind of answer. It felt like I want to get lose in anger and anxiety combined! Impossible! That couldn't be possible!

“Vannie?”

“Yes, Dad. I'm still here.”

Maybe he thought that I ended the call already because I didn't respond. But the truth is, I'm only holding back my sobs, so I didn't want to speak. I don't want him to hear me crying. I wiped my tears away. I knew it. I knew that I'd be crying to the disappointment on the sad truth I'll be getting.

"Are you okay, Vannie? Wait, are you crying? You want me to call your mother?"

"No, no need. I'm fine. I thought you'll be staying there for only a week?"

“Ah, yes. That was the initial plan. But I had to stay here for few more meetings. Your husband, he's done with his stuff as far as I know. Are you sure you're okay?”

No, I'm not.

“Yes, I am. Don't worry.” I said goodbye and helplessly ended the call.

He might find it rude, but I don't care. I don't want him to know that I'm having some problems with my husband. He might even tell Mom.

I sternly placed my cellphone on the dining table and slumped my face onto it. I do not know what to do anymore! I'm feeling very upset! Allen told me that he'll be gone for only a week, but it's nearly two weeks since he left and he hasn't even called!

I don't believe that he's going home to the Philippines already. I don't know but my instinct says that he's still I Barcelona. I don't know why I'm having this kind of feeling. Whenever I send messages to his personal email, it only auto-replies a note saying that he's out of the country. Then will I know that he's still not in the country.

I really do not know what's happening and I do not even know how he's doing. He told me that he'd call on his free time, but no, I haven't even received any 'h.e.l.lo' from him.

I kept on calling and sending him emails and text messages, but to no reply. Now I'm thinking, what's the cost of talking to me for just two minutes to tell me how things have been lately? Fine, a minute will do. That shouldn't be a big loss!

I just want to know if he's fine. I just want to know what he's doing and why he couldn't come home yet. His last call was when he reached Barcelona and nothing followed after that. Is he that busy to forget to even call his wife and ask about how she's doing? Dad had the time to answer my call, though! Ugh.

I don't even know the status of the business matter he's working on, if he and Dad were able to close the deal. I don't know the reason why he couldn't get my calls and why he couldn't get back to the Philippines now. I don't know! I don't know even a single thing!

He told me it's going to be only for a week! JUST one week and he'll be back right away! But up until now, he still isn't here! I've been waiting for him around the clock. Where are you, Allen? Where are you!

I lifted my head up, and again, briskly stroked my cheeks in extreme irate. I really do not know what else to do. I'm running out of patience tremendously! Why hasn't he come back home yet! I'm getting paranoid! Lots of different possibilities have been running around my head, and I'm trying to ignore them as much as I don't want to exhaust myself even more.

I want to follow him in Spain. I already looked for my pa.s.sport the other day, but I'm having second thoughts. What if he arrives here the moment I get there? What if I'm not here when he arrives? For sure he'll get mad, he strictly ordered me not to leave the house.

But then, what am I supposed to do? I do not know what to feel – am I going to be mad or am I going to be worried about him? I couldn't help but worry about how he's doing. He might have been into an accident that's why he cannot be reached. Ugh, no!

s.h.i.+T! I'm trying to figure everything out, but I cannot connect the dots.

Just as I thought, I should've insisted to fly with him. This situation could've been avoided. That dawn when he was about to leave, I asked him one more time if I could come with him, but he just got annoyed. He said no and explained that he couldn't work and focus if I'll be there. We might just enjoy each other's company inside the hotel room. And that, I understand.

I know him very well, he couldn't stop once we have started. That instead of doing work, his business trip might turn into a honeymoon. I understand that. That's also the reason why I didn't bother him any further. He also told me that he'll be back soon.

I even asked him if I should just stay in our house, or their house, so I could be with someone, even if it's their maids. But no, he didn't agree because he said that he'll not be gone for too long.

But where is he now? Is two weeks not that long for him? He can withstand not going home to me, or even not talking to me! I miss him so bad! I'm longing for him and his sweet gestures when we were in Subic.

I almost fell off the chair when my phone rang. I prayed that it's Allen's number that would pop up on the screen, but unfortunately, it's not. It's Leila's number. I didn't want to answer at first because I was not in the mood, but I thought that she might have some news about my husband, so I ended up answering her call anyway.

“Leila…” I lifelessly greeted.

“Vannie, open the gate.”

I frowned, ended up the call, and placed my cellphone on the table. Then, I hurriedly wiped the tears on my face and fixed myself. I headed onto the living room and looked outside the window. I saw my cousin's car parked outside our house.

I went outside to open up the gate for her. I saw that the weather was gloomy that's why it looked like 5 o'clock in the morning even if it was already 9AM.

I noticed that she was carrying two brown paper bags with her. I looked at her with my eyes full of wonder. I think that she got what I meant because she didn't wait for me to ask explicitly, but instead, she explained right off the bat.

“I brought you some grocery supplies because I know you have nothing to eat here.” She said and then headed straight inside our house as if she's the owner and not I.

Then, I followed her and we went to the kitchen. She placed the grocery bags on the table, and then she took off the food inside them one by one and put them inside the ref. I just watched her putting the groceries in order. By how she does it, it looks like she's very used to and very familiar with our house.

“Do you have any news about Allen?” I asked. She just looked at me and I heard her sigh as she closed the refrigerator and leaned on it.

“Naaah. I already tried to contact my friends who are based in Spain, but they don't see Allen there. Barcelona is quite a huge place, Vannie. It will be very difficult to look for someone there.” She answered me in a very hopeless manner.

“Are you sure things have been settled between the two of you? Didn't you have a fight before he left?”

I didn't answer. I have already told her many times - Allen has changed and we're okay. This is why I am very worried that he hasn't come back home to me yet, without any advice.

He promised me he will only be gone for one week. He said he'll come back soon. We didn't even have any misunderstanding before he left. He just got frustrated when I didn't allow him another round. But I was just worried about him, I didn't want him to run late on his flight. That's it and we're totally fine.

I went to the kitchen bar and pulled one high stool to sit. I irksomely brushed my hair with my fingers.

I feel like crying again. What can I do? I really can't help but feel frustrated. I really want to fly to Barcelona and look for my husband myself. But what, how am I supposed to try my luck there? I can't ask for help from my parents, they don't even know that Allen has still not come back home yet.

“Vannie, stop crying, it won't help! Your husband won't even hear your sobs.” My cousin, who has just sat beside me, ordered, annoyed.

I lifted my head up and wiped the tears on my eyes. “How can I not cry? My husband hasn't come back home yet! I even called Dad earlier only to know that he's still there, but Allen's not. He thought that Allen already went home. What if something bad already happened to my husband?” I already looked pathetic in front of Leila, worrying and looking for my missing husband. Ugh.

Suddenly, she held me on the shoulders and forced me to look at her, “WHAT?! Sht! I thought so, Vannie. Your husband's having an affair with another woman! Their business meeting is already done, so where is that a.s.shole now?! He's getting into my nerves! You told me that you're already fine, but why does it seem like you're not! Give me your phone, I'll call him!”

I didn't listen to her and I didn't give her my phone. I removed her hands from my shoulders and stood up. I headed back to the living room and laid down snugly on the sofa.

“You're not helping me, Lei.” I told her when she followed me. I didn't hear her answer, so I glanced at her. She was just calmly standing near me with her arms crossed.

“What?” I asked her frowning because she was looking at me intensely.

“I'm just stating the possibilities, Vannie. Because I couldn't think of any other reason why your husband hasn't come back home yet.”

That hit me. I felt frustrated even more.

I closed my eyes hard and turned to lay facing down. Actually, that thought has already crossed my mind, but I didn't want to doubt Allen. That wouldn't help me, that wouldn't help us. But I can't help but feel heartbroken with the thought of Allen with another woman in Spain.

No. I believe that my husband wouldn't do that, especially now that we're already fine. He wouldn't let our marriage be ruined. We have endured things for so long already just to work our relations.h.i.+p out.

“Come here, stand up! Let's go shopping instead! I'm sure Allen will be here later.” Leila invited. Maybe she's making up to the harsh words she said earlier.

“No. I can't leave the house.” I responded without looking at her.

“Your husband isn't here yet, so let's go. Come on! I also forgot to buy your medicine. You told me your stomach isn't feeling good, right?”

Then, I got to stroke my hands on my stomach. Oh, it has been several days already. Maybe because I didn't get to eat regular meals on time. What can I do, I lost my appet.i.te and I don't feel like eating alone.

I don't feel like cooking, too. I just call fast food chains for delivery. I have been eating fast food lately. If Allen find out about this, for sure he'll scold me. He doesn't want eating fast food as they're not healthy. Ugh, I'm missing him so bad! I'm not used to not seeing him around. I'm not used to living alone here.

“What, Vannie? You didn't answer me.” Leila asked, trying to get my attention.

I sighed, lifted up my head, and just looked at her.

“Just buy me my medicine, please. I really can't leave the house, my husband ordered me not to. He might get home and find out that I'm not here. I'll be dead. I'll just stay here, Lei. I'll wait for my husband.” I explained.

I think I have convinced her already after I saw her rolling her eyes on me, which means that she concedes. Then, she went back to the kitchen, maybe to get her bag which she placed on the table. Just after a few, she's back.

“I'll be back, Van. Oh, and I bought some fresh cut fruits. They're on the fridge. Eat, please. You'll get sick doing that. Your husband might not recognize you when he gets back, you'll look like a skeleton model in the anatomy cla.s.s of his sibling.”

And then she left the house.

Sometimes I couldn't understand if my cousin is really concerned about me. I'm already having problems here, and yet she still looks calm. She's not joking, it's just her natural way of conversing. Though sometimes, she's really annoying, like you already feel upset and she acts insensitively.

I sat down the sofa for a while before I stood up. I reached onto my cellphone placed on the dining table. I checked it immediately as Allen might have called and I missed it. But no, no missed calls nor anything aside from a text message from Dad.

I opened his message. My knees felt weak and I almost knelt down as I read it…

“Vannie. Marco says your husband is in Madrid.”

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