The Daoist Seal Chapter 1

Bulls.h.i.+t Transmigration
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Editors: Tyrant and Vis

Jiang Xiaofan felt unlucky, extremely unlucky. No longer able to suppress the resentment welling up inside of him, he finally exploded and released an earth-shattering howl that broke the silence of the night.

"The Celestial Heavens! The Great Earth! Just get me out of here!"

The consequence of this ninety plus decibels howl was that he had riled up his neighbors and they angrily voiced their displeasure.

"What the h.e.l.l are you yelling about?! Can't a guy get some sleep?!"

"d.a.m.ned filthy beggar! Scream again and I'll tear your mouth apart!"

He froze on the spot like a frosted eggplant. He scanned his room, it being worse than a pigsty. A sigh of despair escaped from his lips. "Ay, just my luck to have this bulls.h.i.+t transmigration…."

As an orphan from the avaricious 21st Century society, his role was one of disregard and mockery. When the s.p.a.ce-time vortex had sucked him in, he saw the familiar view of his city disappear from his range of vision. Elated, he knew that he had transmigrated.

After everything had normalized, he inspected his surroundings and then nearly fainted. When others transmigrated, they were usually born into the body of a high-status individual such as an emperor or a n.o.ble. Even the most ill-fated transmigrator was at least became a martial hero.

But for his transmigration, he had directly landed in the middle of a room that could not be any more dilapidated. What was even more infuriating was that everyone in the village treated him with contempt and called him the "filthy beggar" as if it were the norm.

"Ugh, forget it. I'll just take things as they come. The night is still long. I'll have to review the basics of living in this new world first."

After venting his grievances, he took out a beautifully designed book. His eyes instantly lit up. He licked his cracked lips and subconsciously reached under his clothes with his right hand.  

"Wait…. This place doesn't seem to have tissues!"

He suddenly remembered. With despair written all over his face, he hugged his limited-edition photo book which had been carried over during the transmigration, dropped to the floor, and loudly wailed.

Prior to sunrise of the next day, the village was already bustling with activity. Everyone stood outside with raised torches. Half a month pa.s.sed since he had arrived here. He had already gotten wind that immortals would come to the village and select youths with great potential for cultivation.

As a 21st Century modern being, there was no way that Jiang Xiaofan would believe in their existence. From his perspective, so-called immortals were nothing more than old Daoists who carried horsetail whisks and swindled gullible people wherever they went.

He got up with a stretch and yawned. Despite his skepticism, he warmly welcomed any form of hustle and bustle. Around this time, a ray of light streaked across the sky, followed by the formation of an aurora. Two long swords suddenly appeared from above, eliciting gasps of awes from hundreds of villagers.

Up above, a green-robed man stood firmly against the wind with his two feet stepping on the blade of an ancient sword. His bearing was jade-like, dignified and graceful. He had an ethereal air about him. On top of the other blade was a yellow-robed female with a lithe body. She was like a lotus flower, pure from mortal stains. Her beauty was peerless yet cold, making her seem otherworldly.

His jaw dropped to the ground in amazement. He didn't think that cultivators were actually real!

He gazed at the beauty before him with his eyes bulged and saliva drooling down. Noticing the man by her side, his first thought was to kick him flying and take over his place.

"The path to immortal cultivation requires innate talent. The following trial is simple. Those who wish to pa.s.s and enter our sect must be able to climb more than three steps on these stairs."

The green-robed man faintly smiled. Without further ado, he waved his hand and threw a ball of green light, which extended its shape as it travelled, transforming into a nine-step stairway made of nephrite jade. One could see it was spa.r.s.ely engraved with Daoist symbols.

After he had spoken, a well-built man, who looked to about be seventeen to eighteen years of age, stepped forth from the crowd. Everyone grew nervous as they watched him near the jade stairs. Many held their breaths.

The man had successfully climbed the second step, but the moment he began to approach the third, his body trembled uncontrollably. His face was beading with sweat. He really wanted to advance but struggled greatly.

In the end, he failed. Knocked to the ground by a force, he got back up and returned to his place, disheartened.

Jiang Xiaofan's mouth was agape with shock as he looked on, unable to wrap his mind around what had just happened. Wasn't it just a nine-step flight of stairs? Why did it seem as difficult as if he was crossing mountains of swords and seas of flames?

"Let me try it!"

Another man had walked forth. He donned fine clothing and had a handsome complexion. He was w.a.n.g Ao, the village leader's nineteen-year-old son. Using modern terms to describe him, he was the epitome of tall, rich, and handsome.

Exuding power and confidence, he strode to the third step. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead when he made his way up the fourth. Regardless, he clenched his jaw and continued to the fifth and sixth before finally stopping.

The green-robed man was somewhat astonished. Even the yellow-robed beauty turned around and looked at him with surprise in her eyes. They hadn't antic.i.p.ated to find a diamond in the rough from an impoverished place such as this. Those who could climb to the fifth step were already considered an exceptional talent.

"Not bad. You've pa.s.sed. Come and stand beside me. After the trial ends, we will immediately leave and head for the base of Ziyang Sect."

w.a.n.g Ao politely returned the green-robed man a bow and excitedly turned around to flash a grin at the village elder. He then hurried to the green-robed man and stood behind him. His face beamed with pride, evoking admiration from others.

The trial continued. Several more people came forward, but only a female named Liu s.h.i.+, having barely qualified, stood next to w.a.n.g Ao.

"My turn!"

Seeing that no one else went up, Jiang Xiaofan emerged from the crowd. After taking a good looking at who it was, silence momentarily settled in and then, an outburst of laughter rang out.

"Are my eyes deceiving me? A puny beggar wants to become an immortal?"

"Take a p.i.s.s and look at yourself in the reflection!"

Jiang Xiaofan ignored them. His expression was calm, but inwardly, he wanted to throw a punch and give them a good beating. Unfortunately, this body of his was too weak. If he really got into a fight, the disadvantageous one would be him.

The green-robed man and the yellow-robed beauty both furrowed their brows but didn't stop him, allowing him to proceed.

Jiang Xiaofan stood in front the stairway, took a deep breath, raised a leg up, and secured himself on the first step. However, just when he reached for the second step, a light radiated from atop the stairs like water ripples. In the next second, he was knocked flying.

People roared in laughter again, especially w.a.n.g Ao. He stared at him with disdain and jeered, "A pathetic beggar such as yourself, a complete waste, actually wants to cultivate to immortality. You're like a toad that l.u.s.ts after a swan's fles.h.!.+ Such wishful thinking!"

Jiang Xiaofan coldly eyed him. He charged again for the second time, but the result was the same. He had climbed the first, had been stopped before the second, and inevitably had been knocked flying again.

"There's no one left. Let's go."

The yellow-robed girl flatly remarked and headed first to leave. Glancing at the ice beauty, the green-robed man fell into a short daze. A strange gleam flickered in his eyes. He waved his hand, withdrew the stairway, and followed her.

Taking notice of his expression, Jiang Xiaofan briefly s.p.a.ced out and then lightly curved his lips upward. As an experienced pervert, he knew what that gleam in the green-robed man's eyes represented.

After a short ponder, he gritted his teeth, marched on, took out the hardback that he had treasured for so long, and began, "Respectable cultivated one, please hold. Here in my hands is a text worthy of study which I, regrettably, have not been able to fully comprehend. I wish to give this to you in the hope that you will like it."

The green-robed man smiled again and shook his head. Just when he was about to openly reject him, his eyes narrowed sharply and he quickly grabbed his book, stuffing it in the inside of his robe. He gently coughed and replied, "Ahem, Ziyang Sect currently is in need of an outer disciple to patrol its mountains. Are you willing?"

Despite Jiang Xiaofan grinning from ear to ear and repeatedly saying "yes", he inwardly cursed the man's entire lineage, including the women. The limited-edition photo book accompanied him through countless days and nights. It was his most prized treasure, yet all he got in exchange was the role of a mountain patrol. His heart ached.

The villagers were in a state of perplexity as they looked at Jiang Xiaofan swaggering after the green-robed man. Even worse, the filthy beggar had turned around and said something that they couldn't understand, "Ciao!"

In the forest beyond the village, w.a.n.g Ao revealed an expression of disgust when he had seen Jiang Xiaofan daring to tag along. He questioned Jiang Xiaofan's shamelessness, prompting the yellow-robed beauty and Liu s.h.i.+ to knit their brows in discontent.

"He is to become one of us. That's enough for now. Let's get going. We'll be riding the flying swords."

After green-robed man had finished, w.a.n.g Ao and Liu s.h.i.+ refused to ride with Jiang Xiaofan. In the end, the yellow-robed girl took in w.a.n.g Ao and Liu s.h.i.+, and Jiang Xiaofan went with the green-robed man.

This was his first time standing on top of the cold, metal blade of a sword, witnessing the transportation method of legends. Astonishment was clearly written all over his face. w.a.n.g Ao shot him another look of contempt. Even though he was just as excited, he didn't outwardly express his emotion.

He didn't know how much time had pa.s.sed by. Unable to control his body, he began to dry-heave. For someone who got motion sickness just from riding the bus, riding an advanced flying transport such as this was enough to take his life.

"s.h.i.+mei[1], you guys go first. I will take Brother Xiaofan for a rest. We'll catch up soon...."

Since he had insisted, the yellow-robed girl went ahead. He lowered the alt.i.tude before finally landing on the peak of a green mountain.

"You're clever, but you knew more than you should've and did something which you shouldn't have done. If this gets exposed one day, my reputation will be tarnished. Therefore, I cannot allow you to live."

He was vomiting severely beside the cliff when he heard the man's words, which caused him to nearly swallow back his gastric contents. Chills ran down his spine as the word "murder" flashed across his mind.

Alas, before he could react, he felt a force from behind. This was the first time that Jiang Xiaofan had understood the principles of physics. He plunged to the bottom following a beautiful parabolic path.

Footnotes

^ junior apprentice sister