They're Celebrating Qingming Festival Next To My Grave Chapter 4

Author: Larza

Translator: Renkun27

Proofreader: KainGuru

When the season of Tomb Sweeping Day had ended, the surrounding atmosphere immediately fell into silence.

I walked around the area until I got bored, then started going out to go to different places until I got bored, but I could not imagine how I could go any further.

Even though I knew that I could actually run without getting tired as a soul, if I keep running aimlessly for a long time, it would be boring, too.

When I successfully descended from the graveyard mound, I plopped down on the ground and looked at the temple that was in the distance.

In the absence of those annoying people, I like the scenery here the most. Although the place was dry and the ground was covered with sand gravel, the image of the sun rising here was the most beautiful anyway.

I hugged my knees and looked at the light of the sun that was about to welcome the new day. Before burying my face in my knees, I tried forgetting this troublesome matter, including the feelings in my head completely.

In the end, I absentmindedly fell asleep fast just like that.

Although I had never felt sleepy since I became a soul, I was not used to being awake all the time. It might have been because I was still accustomed to the feelings of being a human.

Therefore, even though I did not feel sleepy when it was time to sleep, I would always fall asleep out of habit.

While I was thinking about a lot of things, the sound of what seemed to be an engine that was approaching came to my ears. I moved up to look at where the sound came from.

But when I saw where the sound came from, my eyes opened wide and I could not even believe my own eyes.

That car…

I rushed closer to confirm that I was not mistaken and yes, I was not. The car was the same one that I had been seeing for the past four years.

But why…

This was not the season of Tomb Sweeping Day yet and it was only in the middle of the year, so coming here to visit all of a sudden was quite strange.

Even though I did not know why the boy's family came here during this time, I was glad.

At first, I was intending to chase after the car to make sure that it was not an illusion, but when I thought about it again, I may not be able to chase after it when I was not someone who exercised often; plus, I was physically unfit, the type that was below the threshold. Therefore, I decided to walk back and wait by my grave instead.

Soon after, the car parked on the side of the road and the boy got out of the car.

Then, the boy closed the door with a plastic bag in his hand, before the car drove away, without anyone following him from behind.

Oh…

I blinked at the car that was driving away into the distance and could not help but feel surprised with this unforeseen event.

Even though this boy in front of me was thirteen years old now and no longer ten years old like when I first met him, the car suddenly driving here and leaving this boy behind with no one following him behind was quite strange.

At that moment, I watched the car until it was out of sight, then I withdrew my gaze and bowed down to look at the boy with concern.

Even if I were to continue staying with him here, if there was any emergency or danger, I would not be able to do anything or help him at all.

But there was something that made me more doubtful…

The boy looked so sad. His eyes were ruddy and swollen, as if he had just cried. Anyone who was not blind could see that he must have been in trouble.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked with concern, while trying to rub his head to console him. I tried helping him wipe away his tears with my other hand out of habit, even though those tears would only pa.s.s through my hand.

“My Mommy is dead.”

I stopped short…

The boy seemed to be trying to keep his cool and trying hard not to cry in front of me, even though his voice was shaking like a broken gla.s.s.

When I was young, I lost my father and mother at the same time. Perhaps, this was the reason why I could understand the pain that he felt at the moment.

“P', can you help me… talk to my Mommy? I'm afraid that she'd be lonely.” The boy said with his head bowed down, as if he did not want me to see his tears.

But in the end, I still saw a lot of clear water falling from his eyes.

“…My Mommy is someone who's afraid of being lonely…if possible, I would like you to look after my Mommy, P'.”

“Okay.” I responded and hugged him, then gently rubbed his back to comfort him, even though I knew very well that I was only lying.

In the past, I had never seen a soul like myself, so I did not think that I would be able to see his mother as what I had said.

But I wanted to console him once more.

Console him, despite knowing that my words of comfort would never reach him.

“Don't cry, your Mommy will be happy seeing how strong you are."

I tried consoling him with words. While I was holding the boy tightly, surprisingly, I had never felt or sensed human warmth before, but this time, I was able to perceive the boy's body temperature.

“…I…will try.” The child responded with a trembling voice as he tucked his face on my shoulder.

I hugged the boy tightly when I realized that I could touch him, while at the same time, I was upset that he could not hug me back.

He hugged me back.

…wait a sec…

I did not stop stroking his back to console him, but I kept on observing the boy until he stopped crying and was only sobbing. After making sure that the boy in my arms was feeling much better, I pulled back and looked squarely at him.

“You can really see P', right?"

I asked him with a serious countenance and tone.

This was too unexpected—both his reaction and response.

It was clear that the boy could see me!

He looked squarely at me before he nodded silently in response.

Right there and then, I became reticent. The muscle on many parts of my face were twitching. I bet if there was a mirror in front of me, I might even laugh out loud at myself now.

“Then why…”

Then why did he pretend not to see me in the past…

This question got stuck in my throat. I did not want to say it upfront. This boy's acting in the past was so realistic so that I could not see right through it. And then I even carelessly pushed myself to do something foolish like hugging him, all because I thought that I was invisible to him.

To be honest, I did not want to admit that I had been deceived by a child, who was more than ten years old.

“I'm sorry…” The boy apologized as he bowed his head down. He looked so sad, to the point that it made me feel like I was the person in error or even immediately becoming an offender who hurt a child.

As soon as I felt guilty, I was about to comfort him by saying 'Ah, that's okay. It's okay. I'm sorry about earlier, too,' when the boy suddenly went against my words earlier.

“Before this, I had met others who were like P'."

I stopped short for a moment and mulled over what I had heard until I was confident that I did not hear it wrong, before I opened my eyes wide.

I could not describe how I felt about it at first, but afterwards, I felt inwardly shocked and delighted at the same time.

It might have been because I had never thought that there would be someone like me, so I immediately asked the boy with excitement, “Do you mean to say someone like this soul?”

“Uhm, I've met one when I was seven years old. At that time, I talked to that P' for a while because I thought P' was a person. But as soon as my Daddy saw this, he was shocked that I was talking by myself, so they called the monks to chase P' away."

“Then what happened to this P'?”

“I….I don't know if that P' had reincarnated or is still around because after that, my Daddy didn't let me go there again.”

I nodded in response, while I was digesting the story that the boy had said. And so, I started to understand the situation better.

This just showed that in the past, this boy pretended not to see me because he was afraid that if his father saw that he was talking alone, he would never be able to come here again.

When I began to surmise the reason behind the events that took place, I was relieved and felt the heavy burden, that had been formed previously, vanish without leaving a trace.

I was not sure why I felt relieved. One reason may be because my futile expectation miraculously came true. The other reason may be because my feelings of confusion had vanished completely.

“What's your name?” I asked after feeling so relieved like never before. Talking about other things might at least help this boy forget those matters that made him sad.

One more thing was, if possible, I would also like to know the name of the person that I like.

Even though I had known him for four years, and had fallen in love with him, to not know the name of the person who I secretly liked, it would be a bit strange.

“My name is Thanwaa, but calling me Than for short is okay because my friends usually call me that."

“Were you born in December [1]?” I asked in response, but the boy shook his head to refute.

([1] ธันวา or than-waa means 'December' in the Thai language.)

“No, I was born in April. My Mommy wanted to name me after that month, but my Daddy didn't like summer, so I was named Thanwaa instead.” When he finished talking, I was quiet for quite a while, until the boy felt awkward with the atmosphere, so he asked, “And, what's your name, P'?”

“Mes.” I replied while I was in a temporary daze, and at the same time, a smile appeared on my face when I remembered something. “It's actually the same case for P'. I was born in December, but my Mom liked summer more, so she named me as Mes [2].”

([2] In Thailand, the summer season is around April. April in Thai is เมษ or Mes.)

“Great. On top of the similar story about our names, P' and I also like to eat the same food,” the boy said excitedly. He looked so cute so that it made me want to hug him tightly once again.

I did not know why, but when I heard those words, there was a pain in my chest as it rose and fell. Maybe if I were still alive, I would hear my vigorous heartbeat in my ears.

I took a deep breath and tried calming myself down with the word 'prison [3]' as it went around my head in circles.

([3] Since Mes is thinking that he is committing pedophilia, he made sure not to cross the line by remembering that he could get imprisoned for doing this.)

That which seemed to have a negating effect because all the excitement and pain in my chest had vanished and turned back into calmness.

“This feels like fate; don't you think so P'?”

I only smiled upon hearing that but did not answer with anything.

From the start, I originally told myself to calm down with the word 'prison,' but now, I quickly threw that word away, out of my mind.

Going to prison, so what, I am dead anyway, there would not be any police who would catch me.

Besides, I was originally a person who did not have any friends. Therefore, it was very rare for me to receive good feelings from others, so I was shaken as soon as there was someone who did good things for me, and I grew to like him.

When he talked about having the same favorite foods, I became suspicious about something.

At that time, I had set my mind to believe that he could not see me because he was disappointed when I did not answer his question. When I remembered that event, I immediately asked…

“But three years ago…” I said, not sure if he would still remember it or not. When I saw that he looked like he was thinking about it, I continued speaking, “At that time, you asked what P' likes and you looked like you were disappointed. After that, you went to take the chocolate tarts. Why did you look like you were disappointed during that time?”

Again, he thought about it for a few moments, before crying out in response…

“That chocolate tart, my Mommy bought it as a birthday gift for me.” Than replied with regret when he recalled that past event. “I was only able to eat a little then I gave it to you, P'.”

When I heard his response, a sense of guilt and being in a dilemma surged in my heart. Had I known that it was his birthday gift, I would have definitely refused accepting it.

“Sorry.” I said with a softer tone than normal. “If there's anything that you need help with, just let me know. You can consider it as a compensation."

“It's okay. I wasn't angry with P'. Also, just by talking with P' could already be considered as a big help.” The boy answered while smiling as if he was comforting me. All of a sudden, the sound of a car that was approaching could be heard. “It seems that my Daddy's coming, then I'll go first.”

I nodded in response. Before he left, I asked something that I was worrying about, “Than, if that's the case, your father doesn't know that you can see P', right?”

“Yes, he doesn't.” He replied, then he walked over to place the things he brought on my altar. He ignited the joss sticks then waved goodbye to me, “The car's far away. My Daddy doesn't know that we're talking.”

When I heard this answer, I felt relieved. After that, I waved goodbye until I saw the boy get into the car. I heaved a sigh and lied down on my grave.

I did not know if I felt happy, relieved or hopeful, but I knew for sure that I was comfortable like never before.

At least, being a soul was not always a bad thing.

That was my first thought after the events that took place during that day. Although being a soul had many limitations unlike humans…

…because of this, I was able to meet Than.

I looked at the sky for a moment, before I slowly squinted when I felt the sting from the sun s.h.i.+ning down on my eyes. The loud sound of the wind gus.h.i.+ng pa.s.sed through my ears was no different from music that could calm my soul, eventually making me fall into a deep sleep.

But after the events that took place on that day…

I did not get to see him the following year.