MIMI 208 Falling In Love Again

Don't bury her emotions.

When was it that she buried them? Where did it all start when she couldn't handle her own emotions?

Mimi's pupils darkened as her gaze moved to stare at the ceiling. She realized that her mind was elsewhere; she felt her bed sheets beneath her, so real, so cold, yet she didn't feel connected to them. She didn't feel connected to reality.

She s.h.i.+fted to the side to stare at the photo resting on her nightstand.

A photo of a young girl with flowing long brown hair and bright brown eyes stared back at her – her smile warm. Staring at the photo, Mimi stands up and walks toward the table to pick up the photo with her fair hands.

She stares intently at it with an unreadable expression.

"It was you..." Mimi's trembling voice echoed through the dark room. "You took them away."

Gripping onto the photo, Mimi's eyes blazed with fury.

"It's because of you I can't feel anything!" Her voice raised. "You wanted me to suffer like this. Why did you have to be selfish? Why couldn't you just take me with you?!"

With trembling hands, Mimi rips the photo in her hands frantically. Small, torn up pieces falling to her feet. Mimi pants heavily as her eyes gaze down at the ripped up photograph below her feet.

"It's pointless to love..."

Yet despite saying such words, Mimi knew. She knew she wanted to be loved. She wanted love. Who didn't?

She wanted her father to love her.

But because she was afraid and knew he couldn't love her or anyone, she acted out. She gave him the image of her being a useless good for nothing before he could.

She had already experienced wanting to be loved, she was greedy for it, craved it desperately until it corrupted her. All she could think was wanting Emily to love her.

And then she left her.

Even her mother, whom she had never met due to her pa.s.sing during birth, was gone. Someone who could have loved her.

Everyone she clutched so desperately to, left her.

Nothing lasts forever, not even love.

Suddenly, feeling something wet run down her cheek, Mimi raises her fingers to her eyes.

They were wet. It felt hot flowing down her cheek.

She was crying.

The lump in her throat developed into a knot. Mimi laughed self-mockingly as tears welled up behind her eyelids, slipping down her cheeks without resistance. Her knees fell to the floor and wept, shoulders heaving.

For the first time in twelve years, she cried.

Love is a fragile thing. One said it can't be taken back, yet it can be broken.

…

When Mimi woke up that morning, she was still trapped in an unconscious daze, her mind heavy and fuzzy. Her breath quivered in short, quick gasps every time she inhaled, her lungs having no choice but to painfully and rigidly take in the chilled air around her. She couldn't seem to stop shaking either.

She mumbled under her breath, "Cold..."

Rising herself out of bed, she pressed her palm to her forehead, clearly fatigued. Slipping out of the sheet, Mimi staggered a few steps forward as all the energy left her body.

With each step, her stomach tightened and ached all the more. She kept swallowing, and her throat kept clenching, but no matter what, she could not stop the warm feeling rising through her chest. At that moment, she could taste it at the back of her throat.

She ran to the toilet and threw up last night's steamed meat buns and dinner. Coughing into the toilet, Mimi looked at the blurry censored scene in the toilet and experienced the urge to throw up again.

Ten minutes in the bathroom, Mimi stumbled out and walked back to bed. Slipping under the sheets, she exhaled warm puffs of air onto her palms resting beside her face. Her eyelashes brimmed slightly with tears from the force of throwing up previously.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," She repeated to herself, feebly rubbing away at her arms in an attempt to cease the unsettling chill that continued to run down her spine.

As it had gotten colder and colder, she had struggled to stay conscious until finally with a groggy head, she fell back asleep.

…

Some time pa.s.sed by the time Mimi began regaining consciousness, and she noticed her surroundings had suddenly become warmer. Her body seemed to be wrapped in something warm, making her want to sigh in relief from the comfort it brought her.

There was also a strangely familiar and pleasant scent around her.

It kind of smelled like Tobias.

With this thought in mind, Mimi's eyes opened. Her vision was still rather blurry, but she could feel a strong pair of arms wrapped around her like a blanket and her head laying on his chest.

Mimi blinked. Then she blinked again.

Who the h.e.l.l…

Raising her head, she tried looking up at his face, but she couldn't see much in the dark – the curtains were closed. Mimi could hear him breathe, his chest rising and falling in a deep slumber. However, from his scent, she knew.

"Tobias?" Her feeble voice came out hoa.r.s.e.

His breathing changed and his arms squeezed her a bit before he sounded a grunt.

"What are you doing?"

"Warming you." He murmured groggily.

Mimi fell silent. She was stunned.

"I…I'm warm enough now." She wasn't. If anything, she still felt incredibly cold.

Tobias hummed a sleeping sound as he lay his head on hers.

"But I need you."

Once more, she was speechless as her mind processed his words. While her head was still pounding, the feeling numbed a little. However, dealing with Tobias was giving her an even bigger headache.

"Tobias…" She grumbled.

A long exhale blew over her hair and she felt him look down to meet her curious, confused eyes.

"You're in a dream."

Mimi lifted an eyebrow. Did he think she was a child?

There was a faint smile in Tobias's eyes, though Mimi could hardly see from the dark. "Fine, you're in a nightmare."

Mimi looked at him with wide eyes. The corners of her lips tugged into a pout. A deep chuckle made her skin tingle. Then, she felt something soft and slightly wet brush against her sweaty forehead.

"Sleep." He rested his head on top of her.

Mimi pursed her lips tightly. She murmured under her breath, "You'll get sick."

"Mm." He hummed. "Then so be it."

His arm wrapped around her pulled her closer, gently rubbing her arm. The arms that held her were soft, yet strong. The feeling of his body so close to hers soothed her more than she had expected. His pats soothed her to drift off to a comforting sleep.

For now, she would enjoy this feeling.

…

Mimi woke up hours later to see this time she was alone. She blinked up at the ceiling with narrowed eyes.

Maybe she was dreaming…or experiencing a nightmare.

Unconsciously, she touched her forehead. It was still covered in sweat.

What an odd dream.

Just when she came to this conclusion, the door to her room opened, allowing streams of the setting sun to enter. When Mimi saw the familiar, attractive face of Tobias Itou, she fell back into a dazed state for a moment.

The h.e.l.l! She thought she was dreaming!

Tobias, of course, had no such awkwardness as he walked over and raised a hand to her forehead to check her temperature. She quickly saw his eyes flash with relief, his tense shoulders relaxing.

"Your temperature went down."

Unable to respond, Mimi stared at him silently.

"What are you doing here?" She finally asked after a moment of silence.

Tobias stood there for a moment. He took in a deep breath and sat down at the edge of the bed, staring at her with an unreadable look.

"You said you'd try right?" He asked.

Recalling last night's events, Mimi nodded, a bit self-conscious beneath his close regard. Tobias resisted the urge to chuckle. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

"Then I'll also try my best to make you fall in love with me." He said with a smile surfaced on his lips.

Not only did his actions shock her, but his words also did as well. She could practically feel the sweat dripping down her forehead and yet he kissed her!

Mimi felt uncomfortable under his direct gaze. Her face instantly felt a little warm and she turned her head away to avoid his eyes. A corner of Tobias's lips hooked up in a smile.

He chuckled and caressed her wet hair. "Rest. I'll wake you up when it's time to eat."

Mimi obediently lay back in bed and blinked at Tobias as he left the room. It was quiet for a while. She rolled around on the sheets and suddenly recalled last night's events. That's right, she cried.

When had been the last time she cried?

Not even during Emily's funeral did she cry. Possibly when she was a normal child. Before her father forced her into that training program and she became…well herself.

Mimi's hands squeezed. In all honesty, she wanted those pleasant feelings of love. But after Emily, she couldn't.

Would she be willing to try again?

Mimi pursed her lips tightly.

If it was with Tobias…she wouldn't mind falling in love again.