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"No, father! I don't want to become an eunuch!"
"Who are you calling an eunuch!?" Rabbert Cae smack across the top of his 52nd son's head.
To do some justice to this stern-looking white-haired man, dressed in a black and white priest outfit, pointing his inquisition's holy sword towards the crotch of a teenage boy that has been backed into a corner of this room within a church with a holy atmosphere... okay, it is really hard to do this man any justice. He's just a weirdo.
"But everyone at my school calls us that. They say I'm from a family of eunuchs, and they'll ask me when I'll go serve the emperor. Even though our city has no emperor..." Orto Cae rubbed his head as he complained. He knew that his father had held back when he had smacked him. Otherwise, with the vast difference in strength between the two of them, if his father was even 1% serious, he would have lost his head. There was no actual pain felt from that smack. There was only a reverberating smacking sound. As usual, Orto had no idea how his father managed to do that.
"Plus, I still don't want to lose my b.a.l.l.s yet. I want to start a family. I want to live an ordinary life."
Rabbert clicked his tongue. "D*mn it. I knew I shouldn't have let you attend a public school. Look at all these silly ideas they instilled into your mind. Family? Look at me. I cut mine off long ago. Yet, I have as many children as the average aristocrat."
"But father, none of your children are blood-related to you, right? Everybody knows you are an eternal virgin..."
"Brat. Did you not know that if this father hadn't picked you up, you would have..."
"Yes. Yes. I would have died along with the rest of my villainous clansmen." Rolling his eyes, Orto casually finished his father's words. He didn't want to hear his father talking like a senile old man.
It was over a decade and a half ago that Rabbert had went and killed off all of Orto's blood relatives for practicing devilish techniques that caused suffering to many members of humanity. But because there was a law in the inquisition that prevents their members from killing harmless infants, Rabbert did not kill the Orto of back then. Instead, he went a step further and brought him home to raise him as his own, like he did for all the other infants that he made lose their families.
Orto never held a grudge against Rabbert for that. And Rabbert had never hid the fact from him. As soon as Orto learned how to interpret concrete sentences, his adoptive father had told him this truth, and he had long since accepted it. One reason was that he had constantly been taught that the wicked must be punished. Another reason was that he simply loved this somewhat crazy, yet actually kind, father of his.
But that and the current matter at hand are two completely different matters. Orto simply did not want to lose his manhood.
"Sert, Vance, Rick, Colt, every single one of your elder brothers went through this, and they have all become great men that our inquisition is proud of. Your home, your food, your clothes, your textbooks, and your car... everything you have was provided by the inquisition. How can you..." Rabbert continued to lecture.
"But Kurt didn't. He ran off and became a priest."
"That unfilial son! He sneaked off into the grand cathedral and begged his holiness for protection, knowing fully well that his holiness is the very epitome of mercy. Otherwise, how else could he have escaped from me!" Here, his "Holiness" does not refer to a pope of a church.
To begin with, the church of seven virtue does not currently have a pope, unlike most other churches. Instead, it refers to an actual G.o.d of the Church of Seven Virtues. Unlike the aloof G.o.ds of most other churches, the G.o.d residing at the church of seven virtues' grand cathedral, is very friendly and easily approachable.
"Then, I'll go find his holiness as well." Orto stood up to leave.
But before he could even take one step, an iron grip caught his face.
"If you dare to go bother his holiness, I'll cut it off right now, d*ck and all." There was a very menacing tone to Rabbert's voice.
Orto's heart broke, as his body stopped in place. He knew he couldn't get away. Despite having the rank of a priest, his father's devotion to G.o.d wasn't any less than any of the cardinals. If he says he wouldn't let him bother him, then he really won't.
After making sure that Orto wouldn't try to flee again, Rabbert slowly released his grip. Then, he continued lecturing. "Listen Orto, being an eunuch, I mean, there is no shame to being an inquisitor of our church."
Then, he began getting into the history of the Seven Virtues Inquisition...
"A thousand years ago, the church of seven virtues didn't even have a city to itself. Our G.o.ds at the time had yet to successfully manifest, instead being mere concepts capable of granting divine power to their believers. We only had a bunch of poverty-stricken churches spread throughout some several immortal and mortal cities, running some farms, and granting grains to the hungry. Those churches were short-lived however. They would eventually be ousted by more powerful religions, robbed by shameless thieves, or destroyed by vicious bandits. Why do you think that was, Orto?"
Orto pondered for a moment before answering. "Wasn't that simply because we were too weak? Unlike other churches, we didn't have a G.o.d to protect us back then. If it was a thousands years ago, wasn't that when our inquisition was just starting up? In other words, up till then, we probably didn't even have any military force protecting us."
There was a plaque installed in their church, describing every major event that the church of seven virtues, and the inquisition, had went through in the last thousand plus years. Ever since Orto was a kid, he had read it many times and had long since etched those events deep into his heart. He also knew that the plaque was erected there to inspire new inquisitors to put more effort into their work.
Rabbert nodded. "That is true, but that wasn't all. The main reason, was explained by the founder of our inquisition. ...Humans."
"Huh?" Orto was confused. Humans? Well, yes. Those thieves and bandits must have all been human, but so are we, so how can we use that as the reason?
"The vast majority, over 99% of all humans are born evil!" Rabbert declared, pure disdain in his voice.
"...uh, father? Isn't that going too far?" Orto couldn't help but say. For a modern city-boy like him, calling all, or rather 99% of all humans evil, sounds a bit too exaggerated. After all, you can find respectable people working respectable jobs anywhere in this city.
Rabbert scoffed. "Hmpf. What could you know? You, who grew up in this city ruled over by our G.o.d..."
The city that Orto lives in, is ruled by the G.o.d of the church of seven virtues. Being centered around such a benevolent individual, of course the city's general population would be good people too. This has caused the people of this city to have quite naive views of the outside world, and caused them to suffer whenever they go out.
"Born in a environment without laws, a human being will grow up having their true nature unbent. Unscrupulous and without conscience, they do whatever they desire, without caring for how those weaker than them suffer. It is only then that the weaker ones, under oppression, would learn to recognize the evil as it is. Those that rebel against it have a chance to turn good, while those that accept it would carry out the same evils as their oppressors. The evil ones that are ambitious will eventually become filthy kings, vile emperors, corrupt politicians, and under them, the suffering will spread. Under such living conditions, the ones that are truly good, the ones that help others without hesitation, and the ones that are unwilling to harm others for their own benefits... are the first ones to die off!"
"F-Father, calm down..." Orto quickly tried to calm his father. He knew that his father was a pa.s.sionate man, even when talking about things that seem distant at the moment.
Rabbert took a deep breath. "The reason why I'm so angry, is because those naturally good people are the very candidates for the G.o.ds of our very own church of seven virtues!"
"Candidates?" Orto was confused again. "According to what I learned, to become a G.o.d, people have to fulfill certain conditions specific to every G.o.d, some of which are impossible for humans. How can there be so many people that fulfill those conditions?" If that is so, as long as he remains a good boy for the rest of his life, can't he also become a G.o.d?
"There isn't."
"Huh?"
"Naturally good people, those that are born good, there aren't many such people among us humans. Perhaps... One in a million?" Rabbert said, unsure. "Maybe less."
Orto's jaw dropped. Then, his brows furrowed. "So few? No... maybe that's not so few, considering that the current world-wide human population is in the trillions... but still..."
"Why are you so surprised? You can see it in all of those babies that wouldn't stop making noise whenever they don't get something they want."
"No-No, father, that makes no sense." Orto quickly tried to correct his father's drastic way of thinking. But seeing how his father just ignored him, he could tell that it didn't work.
"The founder of our inquisition could not stand letting any more of those natural-born saints die off so easily. To protected the church of seven virtues, and to allow it time to grow, he decided to take on all of the necessary sin himself. ...Well, himself and the like-minded people that he managed to gather. They were our predecessors. Back then, our inquisition didn't wipe out just the family members of those who harmed the members of our church, we wiped out entire cities."
"...Madman." Orto couldn't help but mutter. He quickly shut his mouth, hoping that his father didn't hear.
That hope was in vain. Rabbert laughed. "Hahaha! I think so too! ...But the effects of what the founder did can clearly be seen in our church of today. No one dared to lightly provoke our church anymore, allowing the candidate for the G.o.d of Patience enough time to mature. Our church was then able to welcome its first true G.o.d." Rabbert smiled, his heart filled with pride.
The pride was contagious, causing Orto to feel it too. Although this young man isn't as pa.s.sionate as his father about his religion, he still did grow up comfortably as a member of this church, and he was quite loyal to it.
"We built our own transcendent city above the clouds, creating a place of near-absolute peace, and gradually spread branches all over the world. All that and more, was thanks to the power granted to us and our predecessors by this legendary cultivation technique." Rabbert said as he took out a golden hardcover textbook out of his clothes. The t.i.tle on the cover was precisely, "Another Helianthus Manual".
"..." Orto made a wry smile. "Father, everything would have perfect if you hadn't taken out that book. Now it all sounds like an advertis.e.m.e.nt for coercing castration."
"So will you take off your pants or not!" Rabbert impatiently roared.
Orto hesitated. Finally, he made his decision. "...Can you at least not use that pervert-slaying sword?"
Rabbert's eyebrows rose. "What pervert-slaying sword? This is the holy sword left behind by our founder himself, a mythical weapon granted only to the strongest member of our inquisition, and usable only by those pure of body!"
"But I heard it hurts like h.e.l.l."
"It only hurts if you've screwed around too much. Now let father check how pure your body is..."
Orto's eyes widened. "I'm too poor to even have a girlfriend. Why would you need to check how pure my body is. No way. I'll just go to a doctor to get them removed. Bye." He turned and ran.
"You're not getting away!" Rabbert hurled his holy sword.
"Aiiiiii!!!" A mournful scream echoed throughout the church...
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