The Webnovel Writer's Chatgroup 25 Author's Pov#5: My Journey

I wrote Xenon for six months. Views increased. Low but steady collections. And my feelings didn't appease.

But it didn't feel right. Something had to improve if I wanted Xenon to be what I wanted.

My mind blocked me; I wouldn't let myself get out of my comfort zone. If I'm fine now, why would I?

The few experiences I had asking someone their opinion weren't what I expected. I needed more. Even if I felt stabbed in the chest.

I opened the Webnovel's forum to make a post, asking for someone to a.n.a.lyze Xenon and tell me how to get better.

Shyness. Fear of getting rejected. I didn't want to know if Xenon was good enough; I love it, after all. 'It's a waste of time,' I thought. 'Who would want to do it? And for free?'

My hand moved the cursor to close the tab. But my eyes saw it. 'Editing…'

A simple, yet intriguing word for me. I heard it before. It was related to the process of writing. But what is it, specifically?

I opened another tab. 'Novel Editing…'

Fascinating information filled the next hour. Not only about editing, but of the whole method an author should follow to create a compelling novel. One that would catch the reader in no time.

It shocked me. I ignored what writing really was. My mind focused on how much Xenon meant to me and overlooked what should have been my preoccupation since the beginning.

I returned to the forum, decided to get that editor and sky-rocket my story. If I didn't do it at the moment, I would've never done it.

"Hmm, I don't know how this works. Anyway, I'm offering an editing service, more like proofreading, for free. Obvs. I just can't stand grammatical errors. I reserve the right to reject certain novels."

It scared me. Reject. My mind focused on that word. But I had to do it.

"I'm interested! I don't know where we should talk, but here's my email…"

I spent five minutes writing those thirteen words. My eyes alternated between the keyboard and the monitor every time I pressed a key.

"Enough!" I yelled at myself and pressed the post b.u.t.ton, knowing I would use any excuse to not do it. I turned everything off and jumped to my bed.

My morning routine filled with diverse thoughts. 'Is he going to like it? What if he says it isn't good enough? Maybe he already choose another one…'

I arrived at my job before my coworkers, as usual. The computer took ages to turn on. I rushed to open the browser and write: "Webnovel."

I went straight to the forum. My eyes s.h.i.+fted to the right. 'Two notifications…'

My heart pounded. Fear became imposing. But my hand acted on its own and the screen displayed the post.

I took a deep breath and scrolled down the page. Two more replies appeared below mine. Without a reply or a like. I got even more nervous. What should I expect after that?

And there it was. A reply from the post's author. 'Murakami Takai.'

"What you've got is pretty good already," it read. "Although reading through it, I think I can help you more with the content or style than the grammar. Anyway, we can discuss."

'What? He liked it?' I thought in disbelief. Those short, simple words. 'Pretty good…'

I couldn't help but feel happy. The previous two people didn't even receive a reply. Was that a good sign?

My nervousness hadn't settled down. I clicked the link in the post to join his Discord server. Empty. No one had joined. Except for him.

"Yo," he wrote first.

"Hi," I replied with a smiling emoji.

"Let's move to DM. More convenient, really."

The first thing I received was another direct attack on my emotions.

"I was reading your novel, and it's pretty good," he wrote. My happiness almost went through the roof.

"I can do editing if you want, but I kinda want to help with your style of writing instead."

And that message stopped it. I first thanked him. He took his time to give my novel a try. Now he wanted to help me.

"And yes, my problem right now is that more than grammar I think," I wrote.

"I just have one question to ask for now," he wrote. My anxiety intensified as his name below the chat-box symbolized his writing.

"How dedicated are you to this novel and writing in general?"

'Is that some kind of trick question?' I asked myself. Insecurity made me imagine bad situations. Not only because my writing would be a.n.a.lyzed, but also because of my poor dominance of English.

I let out a long sigh. 'I should answer honestly.'

"I can't say a lot. I have other things to do and I like to spend time doing other things," I answered. "In fact, I'm at work right now. But I've been publis.h.i.+ng on Mondays and Fridays, and just a few times I couldn't do it."

A long answer, certainly. But I didn't know what else to say. I had to wait. What will he think?

Until the message arrived:

"Lol, ok."

Short. Simple. Direct… 'Just that!?' I yelled in my mind.

"But I want to write a lot, I have other stories in mind," I wrote.

"Well, I can help with your stories. Like, working the content as well as your style. 'Cos I can tell your Xenon story is well thought out."

There it was again. My mouth curved-up involuntarily.

"Thanks! It feels nice hearing that after months. I've only received like three comments in seven months."

"Most novels like yours go unnoticed. People are looking for instant wish fulfillment," he wrote. 'I think I understand that,' I thought. But it wasn't something I looked for.

"Anyway, I don't think being at work is conducive to having a thorough discussion. We can talk later?"

"I'm out of my hours right now, I always arrive before."

"Wait. What timezone are you in? It's nighttime where I am. 10:35," he wrote. 'Woah, he's on the opposite side of the world then.'

"Here's 7:36 AM," I answered. My nervousness had decreased. That little derail made me remember I was talking to another person. 'Maybe I could ask something more,' I thought. But another message arrived.

"Well, I'll try to rewrite a chapter of yours," he wrote. 'Eh?'

"I'll send it to you after."

'Wait. What!?' I screamed. My heart pounded once again, but I didn't know why. 'What should I—'

"I do need a couple of things though," he wrote. 'Oh no.'

"Just dot points really," he added. 'Oh, okay.'

"What are you trying to say in the first chapter? As an overarching premise."

I entered panic mode. Even if I knew the answer, I questioned everything. Was it going to be the right answer? Was there only one? My head spun.

"How does Alex view her father?" he continued. "And what does entering his room mean to her? What is her dad like? How does Alex respond to that?"

And so the h.e.l.l-questionnaire began. It didn't matter what I answered, he a.n.a.lyzed it and asked something back. I felt I was in a trial. Was I back in school again?

But I understood the direction he took. Stressful, but I knew it would work. It continued for hours. Even days.

He won't stop putting tips in-between. Tips that may seem absurd, but they were essential.

Stress diminished. I got comfortable with my English, and talking to him wasn't as hard anymore.

"You need to include more of Alex's thoughts," he wrote. The first thing he said after I sent the first rewritten scene after his teachings.

"Your narrative prose is very logical," or "Doesn't really work," were two of the sentences I heard the most. Stress returned.

But it worked. After some weeks, even I could notice how much I improved. Slow progress, but who said that writing was fast?

"Can I ask you, why did you accept helping me?" I asked him.

"Ah, I don't know," he answered. "It just jumped at me when I read your chapters. Like, this can be a good story. I hadn't seen such sophisticated dialogue in a while."

I didn't know how much he really meant. But it didn't matter. I still got happy after reading that. I don't think I ever would get tired of it.

"If you hadn't reached out to me I wouldn't have known you even existed,

as rude as that sounds," he wrote along with an emoji sticking out its tongue.

"I've been trying to get noticed for months now," I replied. "Good thing I didn't give up before."

"Yes. But I guess the main thing is that you were willing to accept criticism. You want to learn and get better."

My writing journey didn't start when I published Xenon. Nor did four months after. I don't think it has even now.

All I can say is that I enjoy learning it.

How could I have more luck? I sought for an editor and I found a teacher. A guide through the empty desert I have to fill with oasis of prose.

--------------------------------------

h.e.l.lo, Sosin here!

Xenon was my first novel and has been in rewrite for a month and a half now (Oops!). But I'm finally confident enough to set the release date, which will be this July 29th! Please visit my profile for more info, I'll be in the comments!

And I want to thank everyone in The Webnovel Writer's Chatgroup for giving me the opportunity and for creating this fun novel as well as the community! And also special thanks to Murakami, who has been helping during this process.