Epiphany Of The Weak 80 Disciple Of The Grim Reaper

7:00 A.M

Khovd, Mongolia

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The clear, blue sky was the thing I was fond of those past few days. I didn't know why but more often than not, I found myself staring at it.

Atop a building somewhere in the city, I was relaxing on the rooftop. Taking in the sight of the blue sky for minutes long was satisfying. I could just sleep right then and there.

"Hmm?"

Footsteps snapped me out of focus.

It could be anyone. Nevertheless, I decided to ignore it.

Pretty much nothing had happened the past few days. Odval kept getting called by the other members, so she didn't have time for me. Erhi, however, accompanied me those boring times. In a way, she acted like a journalist asking too many questions, demanding the proper way to become strong.

The problem was that I was not strong, at least that was what I thought of myself.

My hands straightened the white long sleeves of my layered black and white t-s.h.i.+rt. I cast a look at my blue jeans, then back at the sky above.

"Ava," called Erhi.

"Huh?"

I forced myself to stand up and looked at the girl behind me. Her unkempt hair made it so hard to just look at her. "What is it, Erhi?"

She took a deep breath, taking her time to spit out the words in her mouth. "Um, I did the thing you said."

I frowned. "Oh, so you've explored that part of the streets. How does it feel being alone there?" My mouth curved into a grin.

Erhi darted her eyes away nervously. "Er, it's a great test of courage for me. I've been able to keep myself calm . . . Most of the time. Um, also, I'm much more alert now to what's happening around me.

"Hm Hm." I nodded my head, acknowledging the effect my methods did to her. Well, I just brainstormed it, and I wasn't even sure if Erhi could do those things I came up with. At any given point during these past few days, I had a strong feeling that she would give up. Nonetheless, she pushed through it, and I was glad she managed.

"I feel like a mentor or something," I muttered.

"Oh, because you are, Ava." Erhi flashed a smile. "Oh, and there's one thing I wanted to tell you."

My legs already took me to the door leading to the floor below. My head turned to her. "What is it?"

"Um, I know The People's Light is nowhere here right now according to your friend. . . But I came across something in the alley."

"Huh?"

Erhi fidgeted the sleeve of her oversized jacket. "Ah, I think it's better if I show you, Master Ava."

I shook my head. "Wait, what?"

"It's better if--"

"No, no. You just call me master."

"Ah, yes. It's because Ava has been--"

"No. Just no." My eyes squinted at her. "Call me Ava. Period."

She nodded nervously. "O-Oh, okay."

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Going into the alley Erhi had mentioned, I stopped. It was a tad dark that time since, it was around 6:00 P.M when we arrived. However, my eyes could still comprehend what happened in that area.

"U-Um. That's what I'm talking about, Ava," said Erhi behind me.

Bodies were scattered throughout the alley, with gunshot wounds all over. The tiny cracks on the walls were hard to notice at first, but Aegis made a remark about it.

"Ava." Erhi proceeded to vomit at her spot as I examined the bodies.

"These people are long dead," I muttered. "The coup or the C.U itself had gotten to them, maybe a few months back."

The nauseating smell shot into my head, but I endured it. Dead bodies were something common in my life, so it didn't bother me as much as I thought.. "Erhi, you ran away the moment you saw them the first time, right?" I stood up and looked at her.

Erhi's attention was on the streets.

"Erhi?" I called.

Her body jolted for a moment before she turned around with her eyes closed. "Ah, yes. I ran away when I saw them."

I frowned. "You're not going to become strong if you're not used to seeing dead bodies."

"But, Ava, you're different. I mean, you said before that everyone's different."

"Hm." I walked further into the alley. "Yeah, you're right. But if you want to be strong enough to stand on your own, this scenery is something that your eyes should be used to seeing from now on."

"Ava." She trotted to my side, avoiding the dead bodies. She was looking at me to make sure her eyes didn't have to see those things.

She put her hands on my shoulders as we walked. "You're strong, Ava."

"I've been told that a lot."

She paused for a few seconds. "You're very mature for your age. No wonder you can just look on like it's nothing, Ava."

I glanced at her. "Mature? Everyone I came across already told me that, and now you, Erhi."

She thought for a moment. "The key to becoming strong is experience right?"

"Part of it, I think. If we're talking about experience, there's so much I've been through the past two years. You could say I'm . . . Mature because of that."

"Let's just say I'm to be put in your shoes, then surely I can become strong too, isn't it?"

We went into a left corner and the sight of dead bodies greeted us.

I sighed. "Caesar told me everyone has a choice. I've been ignorant for too long, but that word finally clicked into me. Our lives are different."

Erhi's grip on my shoulders became tighter. "You're right. There's a reason I'm like this, and it's because of the choices in my life . . . But, Ava, I can't get it out of my mind that you're so mature for someone your age."

I grimaced. "Okay, stop there. Everyone has been saying that. Odval even mentioned it the other day."

Erhi's eyes widened. "S-Sorry."

"Well, I still need to help you change, Erhi." An image of Beatrice came to mind. "I have someone named Beatrice back in my hometown. Maybe you can learn a thing or two from her."

However, the last time I saw Beatrice was back at the base. I was not even sure she made it out alive after what happened.

My hand brushed over my ponytailed dark hair. "Let's just see where these corpses will take us. I have a feeling we'll find something."

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The other side of the streets didn't appeal to me. Not that I expected anything else, but nothing of importance popped out to me in that area. A hotel in pale grey was the only unscathed building despite the poor state of the city.

"I can only guess this place served as a relief post back then," said Erhi. "Though, I doubt anyone's in there."

We went over to the entrance of that hotel.

"It's still pretty bad with all these cracks in the wall," I muttered as my palm rested on the coa.r.s.e, gray wall.

"Should we get inside?" asked Erhi. She looked up and jerked her head back. "Oh, wait. It's dark right now. We should go back."

"Hm. I think it's somewhat pointless for us to be here," I said. "Wait."

My ears picked up the sound of faint footsteps. Instinctively, I thrust a blue Aegis blade over my shoulder.

"Eek!" cried Erhi.

My blade disintegrated from someone's touch, and I knew exactly the person behind me at that time. I turned my head to face her. "It's you, Lily. No wonder my Aegis didn't say anything."

Lily smiled at me, while Erhi had her eyes locked at the both of us.

"I was not going to hurt you, Erhi," I said.

"I know . . . But you pulled your blade out of nowhere, Ava," she said.

Lily cleared her throat and looked at me. "Sorry to sneak up on you, Ava."

I shook my head. "Nah, it's alright." My eyes quickly scanned the area. "Caesar's not with you?"

"He's in that hotel."

"Oh, he's searching for The People's Light, right? I mean, the people from the coup or from that rebel group is nowhere in sight the past few days."

Lily nodded. "I wandered around for a while and found you here. Are you looking for something, Ava?"

I shook my head. "Nah, nothing . . . Have you seen the corpses in that alley, Lily?" My finger pointed towards the direction Erhi and I had come from.

She looked over her shoulder. "Yes. Those bodies had been there quite a long time." She glanced left and right for a moment before looking back at me. "What are you going to do now, Ava?"

I untied my ponytail and re-tied it slowly. "We'll head back. There's nothing for us to here, really."

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Erhi and I were back in my room inside Enkhtuya's hideout. It took us ten minutes to get there, and by the time we arrived, it was already 7:00 P.M.

"Ava," called Erhi.

"Hmm?" I put down my book at the side. My head rested on the pillow as I laid on my bed. "What is it, Erhi?"

She was skimming through a book that I'd told her to read. "I guess I need some time to actually do something useful."

"Well, it does take some time for someone to change."

"Is the same for you too?"

I sighed. "Not really . . . But in your case, Erhi, it's good that you're making progress."

She glanced at me. "T-Thank you, Ava." She paused for a second. "I'm wondering. Why you didn't go to the capital city by now?"

I closed my eyes. "Caesar's adamant on tracking The People's Light's scouts. Also, I'm not in a hurry. It's best to head there prepared I guess."

"Oh . . . Then we won't see you guys again after this.?"

"Not really. We'll come back after we get Hope. There's something I need to know about Ulii." I opened my eyes and covered my yawning mouth.

She stared at me. "W-What about Ulii?"

"I think she knows more about the few Aegis Users that escaped from Kazakhstan. Her story will only make sense if the User she met was treated by her for some time before the User pa.s.sed away. Basically, there's information that the Aegis User had spilled out. Perhaps Ulii knows about the other few Users?"

Erhi nodded.

I grabbed my pillow and hugged it. "You need to cut your hair, Erhi."

"E-Eh? But I'm used to it," she said.

"Hm. As you wish."

Erhi closed the book she'd in her hands. "Ava, I hope you don't mind me asking this question."

"Hm. Ask away."

"Your strength and arrogance have helped you a lot so far--"

"Arrogance?" She was not wrong though.

"Y-Yes. I'm thinking if those two things come solely from your hatred towards . . . those people who stand in your way."

"Oh."

Even if Erhi said the hatred I was fond of somehow dissipated quite a bit, it resurfaced back without me wanting to. When that happened, I wanted to hate everything. However, seeing Hope again after two years of being separated from him had changed that. After all, my hatred stemmed from his presumed death a long time ago.

"Hatred, huh," I mumbled.

Loathing.

Distaste.

Anger.

Contempt.

Those feelings and a few more I'd gained the past years were still there inside me. I could feel it seeping out from my flesh, taking its time to take control of my body.

The only reason I could be the person Erhi was looking up to was because of that one person. Honestly, my growing antic.i.p.ation of reuniting with Hope granted me the drive I needed. I was lucky to still have him. Erhi needed someone to care for her, and I wanted to let her know that she was special too, like everyone else.

'What if I lose everything one day?' I thought.

Perhaps when that day arrived, my sanity would fall in an abyss with no point of return.

To become the exact person I was before, filled with diabolic hatred. I would be drenched in the blood of my enemies by then. In the end, my body would be consumed by hatred, repeating the sordid action of mindless killing repeatedly.

By the time I'd woken up from it, perhaps I was no longer a human, but a monster residing in one.